You Shouldn't Have to Grieve Alone
What if Cat came back from the yurt for a reason she couldn't tell Kara during the Daxamite invasion? SuperCat.
Just another example of my wandering brain. Sorry about using Alex in this but she's really fine.
The Girl of Steel was trashed. She sat at the bar of her favorite alien dive and knocked back another shot of some green liquid that she knew could get her drunk. She was wearing jeans and a black tank top, and a leather jacket lay across her lap.
She frowned and beckoned for another shot, but M'Gann just leaned on the counter top, rag in hand and regarded her with worried eyes. "I think you've had enough," she said quietly.
Stormy blue eyes lifted. "You're not my mother. Just give me the damn shot, M'Gann."
"It won't take the pain away, Kara."
'You think I don't know that? Nothing can take this pain away. So just mind your own goddamned business." The Kryptonian slid off the bar stool and got to her feet, staggering a little as she pulled the leather jacket on… the jacket that wasn't hers. Then she tossed a couple of bills on the counter and headed out the door.
Outside in the cool air, she walked slowly along the pavement, her hands shoved deeply into the pocket of her jeans, but a heartbeat she instantly recognized invaded her senses and made her roll her eyes. "Leave me the hell alone. Go back to Washington."
"You think that, just because I happen to be waiting outside a dive bar, I'm here for you? How self-absorbed," a voice replied in a snippy tone that made Kara's eyes close. "You should know me better than that, Kiera. I'm a heartless monster, after all."
The familiar mispronunciation of her name almost broke Kara but she swallowed and lifted her chin as Cat Grant stepped out into view. "What are you doing here, Cat?"
Cat moved closer, reaching out to gently rub the hero's arm. "I came because I heard what happened. And I can't tell you how sorry I am, Kara."
Kara's reply was flat and uninterested. "Well, you know what, Cat, you should just go back to Washington and tell it to someone who cares." She stepped around the older woman and kept walking. "Just leave me alone."
"I can't do that." Cat looked down and examined her manicure.
"Oh really? And why is that?" Kara staggered a little and leaned against the red-brick wall to her right. "Because you care about me? Screw that. You left me, Cat, without even sending me as much as a follow-up text message." Tears spilled over and she swiped the back of her hand angrily across her eyes. "You left me alone when I needed you."
"I'm here now," the older woman replied softly.
"So, it took Alex dying for you to finally give a fuck?"
Silence stretched out between them for a long moment, but Cat didn't look away, even as accusing blue eyes pinned her in place.
"I'm not your mother, Kara," she finally replied. "I didn't take you to raise."
"No! No, I never wanted you to be that for me. Dammit, Cat, I love you!" Kara yelled angrily. "I've always loved you!" She paused then and her voice lowered. "But you just left me."
She turned and began to walk again as the words echoed around the quiet street. Cat stood watching her, hands in the pockets of her coat but then started to follow her. "Why do you think I left?" she called. "Kara? Why do you think I left?"
"Because you were bored… with CatCo, with your life… with me…" Kara replied over her shoulder.
"That was the official reason," the older woman said. "But it wasn't the real reason."
Kara's footsteps slowed, and she turned, waiting for Cat to catch up. Her metabolism was processing the alcohol and she was sobering up too. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"I was having feelings for you, and I had to leave."
Kara shook her head. "I don't understand."
"Do you remember when, during the Daxamite invasion, I told you, as Supergirl, that I had come back because I'd learned that the people you love are everything? That human connection was the answer to all of my questions?"
"I remember," the younger woman nodded.
"I realized in that yurt that I couldn't deny my feelings for you anymore, so I came back for you. But you were with someone else. Someone you were clearly in love with, and I couldn't get in the way of that." Cat pushed her hair back from her face. "And then, when you lost him and you were devastated, I couldn't just tell you how I felt. I wouldn't have been fair to you. So, the best thing I could do for both of us was to leave again and take the job at the White House." Cat sighed and leaned back against the wall, her hands pressed flat against it. "But, when I heard about Alex's death, I contacted J'Onn and he told me that you'd completely withdrawn, that you weren't working at CatCo or being Supergirl, that you hadn't worn the suit in weeks. He's worried about you. All your friends are." She pushed off the wall and held the hero by her shoulders. "You shouldn't have to grieve alone, Kara."
Kara was fully sober now and she took a step closer to Cat, setting her hands on the older woman's hips inside her coat. "You came back for me?"
"Yes," Cat breathed. "I came back for you."
The hero leaned even closer and rested her forehead on Cat's shoulder. "Alex died because of me," she whispered. "I didn't make it on time to save her and I'll never forgive myself."
"That's not the version of the story that I heard," Cat replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "J'Onn told me that you literally moved earth to get to her, but she died in your arms from crush injuries that no one, not even you, could have prevented."
Kara's body shook as she collapsed into tears. "I feel so hopeless, Cat. How can I save the people of National City when I couldn't even save my own sister?"
Cat wrapped the most powerful woman in the world up in her arms and let her cry until she couldn't cry anymore. Then she wiped the tears from Kara's face with a loving smile. "You are the beacon of hope for everyone in National City. They believe in you, Supergirl. Now, you must let their belief in you fuel you. You have done amazing things for the world and I fell in love with you because of that."
"You fell in love with Supergirl," Kara replied but Cat shook her head and smiled.
"No, I fell in love with all of you." She drew the hero's face closer and kissed her softly on the lips. "Please let me love you."
And for the first time in the weeks since Alex had died, a small, hopeful smile made its way to Kara's lips.
"Ok."