Chapter Thirty-Three

3 ABY

~ Kya Ranor ~
Arms slipped around my waist, tugging me back from the edge of the Force back to the here and now, the present, the reality. I smiled, slouching backwards, yielding to gravity and resting against him as he pressed his lips against the top of my head.

It had been a day since we had finally revealed the nature of Luke and Leia's parentage, and since then, I had stayed cooped up in this room, meditating or sleeping or simply just being bored out of my mind – well, as bored as a disciplined Jedi can get, anyways. There were only so many katas one could do in such a small space over and over again and only so much meditation that could be done before frustration could not be filtered away even with the Force.

"Why are you hiding?" Ben murmured.

I sighed, closing my eyes. Apparently, I've been shielding too. It was the only way Ben wouldn't know why.

"You saw Leia after we told her the truth, Ben. She needs time. They both need time before they are ready to accept this is the truth, especially the bit about Vader."

"That is not a reason to hide."

"No," I agreed, turning and burying my face in his chest. "But it's the best I've got."

He sighed and stroked my hair. Then, in a thoughtful tone, he said, "They will not hate you for this revelation, you know. If there is anyone to hate, Leia will hate Vader, and as unhealthy as it is, even you know why she will. And it will be a while before she is ready for us to even attempt to dissuade her from that path. In fact, I'm thinking that might even be best left to Luke."

"I'm not worried that they will hate me."

"Indeed?"

Ben's tone was not sarcastic or ridiculing; he was genuinely curious and completely concerned for me. I found that extremely helpful.

I sighed again. "I . . . I'm confused," I admitted in a rush, and then it was like the dams had burst. Words spilled from me faster than thought, fast enough that I knew it would be a miracle if he could even slightly understand part of it.

"I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing right now. I'm just going off a basic instinct that I'm not even sure is a basic instinct – for all I know, it might just be my pent-up frustration at not being able to solve my own universe's problems that I've decided to try and heal the Anakin here to attempt to make up for it. I can't tell. And that . . . well . . . I can't tell. Not even after meditation can I separate that. I don't know whether I'm walking blind because the Force is so dark or because I'm blinded by my affection."

One heartbeat.

Two heartbeats.

Three heartbeats.

Finally, Ben stirred. His fingers found my chin, tilting it upwards, and his eyes were warm and compassionate when they met mine.

"If you are blind, Kya," he said gently, "it is not necessarily a fault of yours. You are a daughter of the Force; if an open heart is what helps to bind you to the living, I will not fault it.

"It is true, perhaps, that your . . . longing for the Anakin you first knew might be blinding you. But I doubt it. If it was blinding you, you would insist it was not even though he would torment you day and night. You, however, are able to acknowledge it, to question it, even to present it as a weakness to me. It is not something that is easy to do.

"Just because there is no guidance to tell you that you are doing well," he finished, "does not mean that you must be doing wrong."

For a long time, I stared at him. I sometimes forgot, now that it had been so long, that words had been my old Master's specialty – words that somehow managed to perfectly capture the essence of the issue at stake. It appeared that Ben, somehow and sometime when I wasn't looking, had gotten that ability too.

"What?" he asked uneasily.

I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Nothing. But sometimes I forget that you are wiser than me in your own way."

He laughed, tugging me closer to him and kissing my forehead in return. "I have to be greater than you in some ways, else I would go crazy," he teased. "If words are that, then so be it. I can live with that."

"You had better."

"Or else what, Oh Mighty Walker?"

"Or else I might find yet another reason to thrash you soundly in the next duel," I threatened.

He shrugged. "You do that anyways."

I opened my mouth to protest, to tease him some more, relishing the safety and comfort he gave me in how easily he had understand, acknowledged, and then eased my own discomfort. It had been almost unbelievably perfect, and even more so for the fact that he hadn't been using the Force to sense what was wrong and hadn't alleviated my discomfort using a Force-suggestion. He had done it the old-fashioned way, acting as my mate and husband, not my fellow Jedi.

The Force, I knew, had chosen well for me.

And I loved Ben all the more for it.

The door slid open suddenly, and it was all I could do not to jump. Fortunately, Ben shifted at the same time, his arms slipping away from me, his body suddenly a few inches rather than a few centimeters from my own, his face composed and curious. Our cover was preserved.

"Ben? Kya? Can I . . . I mean . . . Can I talk to you?"

Ben flicked his wrist, closing the door and moving a chair closer to the bed where we both sat. "Of course, Luke," he replied. "What is it? Is there a problem with the kata – "

"No, it's not that," Luke interrupted, surprising the both of us. "It's . . . well . . . I . . ."

I leaned forward. For one thing, it wasn't like Luke to interrupt us when we were dangling bait in the form of Jedi training in front of him. For another, it wasn't like him to have such trouble voicing his thoughts in front of us; in front of Leia or Alliance command, sure, but not us. Never us. It was either something extremely serious or Luke was exhausted.

No exhaustion, Ben countered. I'm picking up on nothing. He just woke up, actually.

So . . . something serious.

No doubt.

Luke suddenly smirked. It was a sad smirk, almost wistful, as if he was finally getting his act together. "I used to think that you were just using the Force because it was normal for it always to be moving around you two," he said abruptly. "Now I know better." His blue eyes were suddenly as piercing as Master Yoda's. "You left out a lot about your story. You aren't just Jedi partners, are you?"

There was nothing, absolutely nothing, to give away anything in Ben's face.

Unless you knew him as well as I did.

His eyes shifted, darkening so briefly it could have been a flicker of lighting. His shields went sky-high, blocking out everything except me. And the Force whirled with agitation, settling into a storm that shielded us.

Luke flinched.

Surprise blossomed in me. He sensed that?

Ben didn't bother to hide the way he flashed a glance my way. He is strong. Untrained, but instinctive. Like his father.

Yes. . .

"You are, aren't you?" Luke repeated. "In a relationship?"

Ben tilted his head. "And what do you define as a relationship? Dating? Kissing? Holding hands?"

That only seemed to incense Luke; he, apparently, took issue with finding that his teachers were breaking one of the most fundamental rules that another teacher had taught him.

"Jedi aren't allowed to – " he started hotly.

I decided it was high time that I interceded – before Luke lost control or Ben's instinct as my mate kicked in. "Jedi aren't," I said firmly. "And if I was just a Jedi, I might adhere to that. Especially if I was just a Jedi from this universe, where that Code ruled. But I don't. Therefore, I feel no guilt and I am doing no wrong."

For a full minute, Luke stared at me as though I had grown three heads. Or, worse, been revealed to be his mother.

"Then what are you?" he asked warily, his hand moving to rest on lightsaber hilt.

Ben raised a placating hand. "We are Jedi," he reassured the boy. "It is just that we are not just Jedi, that is all. Now that you know about your parents, I guess Kya has decided there are other secrets as well that you ought to know."

"Like what?"

"What, the discovery – after all these years – of a father, a mother, and a twins sister does not faze you?" I prompted instead.

Luke hesitated, his wariness warring with his need to confide in us.

"I am . . . well . . . yes, it bothers me," he admitted in a rush. "I thought I knew who I was. Now I find that I'm definitely not that. And I have a sister to boot. And a father who's one of the most feared men in the Empire. And I have this . . . job . . . this duty to do that everyone seems to think I can, but I don't think I can. If you – and you're better Jedi than I ever will be – cannot defeat him, how in all the worlds can I defeat him?"

"Luke," I said gently, "if might, if power, if prowess was enough to bring Vader down, then we would have destroyed him years ago. But it is more than that."

He looked at me, uncertain. "But I have to kill – "

"No!" I said sharply. "No one said you have to kill him. No one said that. It is you who interprets it thusly."

For a moment, something shone from his pale blue eyes, and I could almost see his father in him – see Anakin Skywalker standing before me again as a impatient youth rushing impulsively into danger and driving the rest of us up the all. He was his father all over again, and yet . . . and yet Padmé had left her own distinct mark on him as well.

"There is good in him."

It was a statement, not a question, and Ben responded as such.

"Perhaps. If there is, though, it must be you will bring it forth once again," he told him. "I know not whether it is possible – but then again, I am usually pessimistic about such issues. You would be better off consulting Kya."

Something clicked in Luke.

"So . . . is this . . . why you want to heal him?" Luke asked slowly.

I hesitated, and the nodded. "Yes, and no. I need to give him – Anakin or Vader or whatever he wishes to call himself – one last chance to prove himself. And if that chance is you, so be it. But if we are to face the Emperor, even the three of us together may not be enough. I'd rather have my brother at my side to – "

"Your brother?" Luke repeated in surprise. "Who is he? Is he a Jedi too? Can he help us?"

"Why, he is . . ."

I trailed off. As usual, I had demonstrated by Ben was by far the better storyteller. Every single time, I got distracted somehow and ended up in the middle of the story instead of in the beginning. It was a wonder, I had always thought, that Ben himself could even interpret what I meant sometimes. And no wonder it had taken so many months before Aurora truly understood the whole story that had brought Ben and I together and tied our fates so irreversibly.

Ben laughed, perhaps picking up on my thought. He covered my hand. "Perhaps it is best," he said, "if you get your sister, Luke. This story will take some time telling."

The Force suddenly flickered; a warning chime, soft, gentle, and persistent.

I pulled away from Ben. "No, don't bother."

Ben eyed me, startled, while Luke turned completely around from where he stood at the door, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Why not?"

"Because we are here," I said simply, "and the story will be told sooner or later. For now, I must concentrate on healing your father so that perhaps he can tell you his story himself and then I can tell you and Leia at the same time. Repeating my stories to three different audiences always gets rather tedious, especially to Ben, as he has heard them so many times already."