note: I didn't update for a while, sorry for that, not feeling all too well and didn't want to force myself to write, this next few chapters will be the breaking point for the story and me. still figuring out how it will all play out, so I want to give myself some time.
Thank you all for your follower, fav, and reviews.
Read you soon.

DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.

for one quote more: "One saw a bird dying, shot by a man. It was flying with rhythmic beat and beautifully, with such freedom and lack of fear. And the gun shattered it; it fell to the earth and all the life had gone out of it. A dog fetched it, and the man collected other dead birds. He was chattering with his friend and seemed so utterly indifferent. All that he was concerned with was bringing down so many birds, and it was over as far as he was concerned.
― Jiddu Krishnamurti, Krishnamurti to Himself: His Last Journal

Knock on the bedroom door drew her attention away from the plans of rerouting the walkers, the assignment that fell on her after Joseph's death.

"Doll can you open the door," Negans voice came from the bathroom as he turned off the shower.

"Why did you locked them anyway," Alice stood up.

"Because I am fucking done with people barging in here like they fucking own the place."

The smile that twitched up soon fell as she saw the person on the other side.

"What the fuck do you what, Dwight?"

The blond man scanned her from head to toe, she was wearing her silk bathrobe with her hair scooped up in the towel.

"I…I…"

"For the sake of us all, spit it out will ya!"

"Simon came back with the new doctor."

"Oh, good. We will be down in a second. You are dismissed."

"Where's Negan?" Dwight popped his head in the room, looking around.

Alice's nerves twitched making her face turn red, "I said you are dismissed."

She placed her hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the doorway and closing the door behind him.

"Fucking idiot."

OOO

To say that Carson's brother was unhappy he was dragged to Sanctuary, was understatement and Alice understood him; she would never consider helping people who murdered her brother. She knew doctors were sworn to help anyone, no matter who they were or what they have done, but she didn't hold here hopes up that in today's world it would matter, so she didn't trust him.

It frustrated her, the number of people she didn't trust around here seem to increase with every passing day.

She knocked on the clinic door, few hours after they passed the doctor to one of the Saviors who was supposed to show him around and explain the rules.

"It's opened," the soft voice came from the other side.

She found Carson sitting in the corner, his legs bend, looking at some point of the far side of the floor, he turned his attention to her, once she walked in, gently closing the door.

"Ugh, you need help."

Alice smiled softly, sitting on a small chair near the desk.

"I'm fine. Just came to see how are you feeling, did you have any problem settling in?"

The man let out a disgusted snort, looking up at the top of the wall where the small window was.

"I am surrounded by people who murdered my brother and I am here to help them. How am I supposed to feel?"

"Not very well, I supposed," Alice looked down.

"Listen," she let out a heavy sigh, standing up. "I won't say I know how you feel because I don't and I am not a particularly sympathetic person. But to say that I don't give a flying fuck that your brother is dead would be a lie. I liked him, he was a loyal man and a good doctor, I trusted him, and not many people here can say that. I trusted he will be able to save a life of my man if something was to happen to him, it made me feel safer and made me sleep better. Since he was killed I can't remember the night I had a good night sleep. Negan thought that bringing you here will make things better, but it won't, not to me. Because I don't trust you and I don't believe you will save him if he was to be in need of saving. "

"Why are you here?" Carson stood up, walking towards her," If you are here to give me your condolences, there is no need for that, I won't accept them because I know who murdered my brother and I know what you are to that person. If you are here to threaten me, also, save it, I am a doctor and I will treat everyone equally, no matter who that person was or what he has done, to me or anybody else. "

Alice surveyed him, locking her arms over her chest.

"I did not come here to give you my condolences, as I said before I am not a particularly sympathetic person and was never a fan of 'I know how you feel' talks. I don't know how you feel and I don't care to find out. But I am here to threaten you, if ever Negan is in need of medical assistance and you screw that up I will bring five people from the Hilltop here and I will kill before your eyes, and they won't have quick deaths that I can assure you. That being said, Negan is not the one who's to blame for your brother's death neither am I. So when you look over your shoulder our faces are not the one you should fear. I'll be leaving you now. For what it's worth, I don't like you being here any more than you do, but we have little to no choice when it comes to that. Enjoy your evening."

OOO

The day went by pretty fast before she even knew it, she was getting back from her usual scouting route, she didn't know why she still did it, with time she even stopped carrying all her weapons, relying only on her machete.

She went up the stairs to Negans room, where he was already waiting for her, they ate their dinner in unusual peace and went straight to bed, both of the excused from their daily routines.

It was dead of the night when the shots were heard, Alice jumped out of her bed, pulling only her jeans and shirt and checking her gun. She secured the door, making sure it is locked and went to the window, trying to figure out what is happening.

"What the fuck was that!" Negan was also on his feet, fully dressed, grabbing Lucile, getting ready to go outside.

"No," Alice stopped him.

"What the fuck, doll, I am checking this shit out!?"

"No, wait," she turned around going back to the window, the factory was silent, no movement on the front entrance.

"There is no one there," she pointed at the gate, "where are the guards? "

"Well, we won't fucking know if we stay in here, will we?"

"Shit," she knew he was right, "ok, I'll go first."

"No!"

"Negan this is not for a debate. My role here is to protect you, no matter my position, it's still my primary objective. Now please let me go first."

He let out a heavy sigh, running his hand over his face, "Jesus, fucking, Christ, if I could go back in time to the moment I said 'yes' to that arrangement and kick my own ass. Alright," he opened the door, "ladies first."

Alice smiled as she walked past him, readying her gun and walking down the stairs.

All the rooms of their lieutenant were opened, with no one inside, the same thing with the guards.

"Where the fuck is everyone?"

They walked slowly, trying to catch at least a sign of life, but no one was there, the entire factory felt like a ghost town. Only when they reached the ground floor they could let out the breaths they were holding, the works were out in the hall, divided into groups, armed with pipes and axes.

"Told you everyone will defend this place with their life," Alice smiled, glancing at Negan, who walked past them, not believing his eyes. Everyone was looking at the front entrance in the factory, ready to kill anything that would dare to take a step into their territory. No one kneeled as he walked by and he didn't care, they were ready to give their life for this place and what he has built for them and that was the highest level of respect any leader could ask for.

When they walked outside, they saw their lieutenant and guards standing in a group, observing something.

"Move and I will kill you," they heard Simons voice.

"Then, kill me!" a woman spoke.

Alice ran towards the crowd, pushing everyone from her way, trying to get to Simon as soon as possible.

"What, the…" her mouth fell agape.

Simon was on the ground, holding down a woman, with a knife pressed to her throat. It took Alice some time to recognize her, she was one of Rick's people, she saw her in the wood on the night her life changed.

"Simon, what in the fucking God's name is happening here and why aren't you people on your fucking posts?" Negan finally found his way to them.

"She broke into the compound and killed one of our guards," Arat spoke, looming over the dead man, checking his pulse before taking out her knife and stabbing it through his head.

Negan glanced at the woman on the ground, the hard lines of his face twitching up in a smile as he surveyed her, Alice frowned looking at him.

"Well, we have our self's a fucking badass here, don't we," he crouched, running his tongue over his bottom lip, "did you come here, all kamikaze and shit just so you can kill me. Man, you must fucking hate my guts."

He ran his hand over his face, looking at the man on the ground, "Shame. And you killed one of you better people. "

"Take her to Daryl's cell, I will deal with her in the morning," he stood up, a smile never leaving his face. "The rest of you back on your duties, the show is over. We will burn the dead in the morning."

Negan turned around, wrapping his arm around Alice's waist and leading her back in their room.

When they got inside, Alice ditcher her clothing going straight to bed, as Negan curled behind her, nipping her neck.

She moved away from him.

"What the fuck, doll?"

"I'm not in the mood. Good night, Negan."

He frowned, looking at her, "but you are always in the mood."

He sounded like a child, begging for candy in the middle of the grocery store.

"Well, not tonight."

"Ok," his face turned blank in confusion, as he lied down on his back, his head turned to the side, looking at her. Did he do something wrong, said something wrong, she was not in the mood, that never happened before.

"If you want to empty your balls while thinking about another woman, you can jerk them dry."

"What!?" He propped himself on his elbows, his eyes widening, he did not have a clue what is she talking about. It took him more time he was comfortable with to understand what is happening, filling the room with his laughter.

The white pillow struck him over his chest as Alice turned around, her face red and eyes wide opened.

"What's so funny, asshole?"

"You are jealous," he couldn't stop laughing. "My ice queen is jealous."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. I just don't understand why?"

"I saw how you smiled at her. You weren't even upset she killed one of our men, you smiled the whole fucking time. Shame, she hates your guts. That's what you said. Why, because she won't put out easily, is that it?"

Negan looked at her, wiping the tear from his face, he had to swallow hard to keep himself from falling in another laugher fit.

He saw her angry, and she was cute when she was not angry at him. He saw her losing it completely and killing people like they were flies and he hated to admit to himself, but it turned him on more than anything ever did. But this was the first time he saw her jealous and she was adorable, he loved it.

He moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into himself, kissing her ear and slowly going down to her neck. She let out a silent whimper as her body started to curl closer to him, he slipped his hand lower in between her folds and started massaging her bundle of nerves in circles. She arched her back, closing her eyes.

"So, you are jealous," he started kissing her jawline.

"Negan listen to me, stop this I am serious."

"So, stop me," he smiled, before placing himself over her and parting her legs, so he could accommodate himself in between them.

"Stop."

"Alright," he stopped, not moving away from her.

Alice opened her eyes, scowling, "why did you stop?"

"You fucking told me to stop."

"Well, don't listen to me, I am mad at you."

"God damn it, woman, make up your mind."

OOO

At Alexandria

Daryl was driving back from Ocean side with Rick and his group, it wasn't even morning and he was already beat. The day was not easy, the week was not easy past month was not easy, he couldn't get more than few hours of sleep, whenever he would close his eyes, he would see her, smiling at him, whenever he would dream, nightmare would come, him cradling her dead body, her blood all over him and his arrow in her chest.

On worst nights, she would even turn, but never attacking him, only staring at him with her new white eyes, stretching her mouth into what would be a familiar warm smile, now empty, teeth rotten and lips full of wounds.

He was never a person who would drown his troubles in a bottle of Alcohol, but the idea appealed to him more and more with each passing day.

They have their weapons, the group will come tomorrow to get them and the war will start, he will see her again, on the other side of the battle field, they will be looking at each other through the scope.

He buried the tips of his fingers in his eyes, hissing, the head was killing him.

"Are you alright?" Rick turned his attention from the road to him.

"Yeah," he said briefly, he has been like that ever since he came back from Kingdom, he heard Alice was looking for him, whenever her name would be mentioned there was someone from Alexandria bombarding him with questions. Questions he didn't want to answer, questions he didn't know how to answer.

"I thought you would be happy, we are ready now, soon this will all be over," Rick was persistent as usual. Daryl turned his head, scowling.

"Why would I be happy? Because more people will die, because we can't find a peaceful solution for this shit, no. This war is a necessity, but it won't make me happy."

Rick furrowed his brows, concentrated on the road, he didn't know what to say to him, he didn't know what to say to him for some time now, he tried to talk, but it only made things worst. He wasn't a shrink he was a policeman, he knew how to handle problem like the Governor was or Negan is now, but he never knew how to handle problems like the ones Daryl was having,

Rosita opened the gates, waiting for them to get out of their trucks.

Enid ran to her, looking around in panic with Jesus coming after her, "where is Sasha?"

Rosita scanned the group, her arms locked over her chest, "there's someone here," her voice was weak and broken.

She walked away from them without another word, expecting them to follow, she led them through the community, all the way down to the last house on the left, going into the basement and opening the barred door.

Everyone stood there, not entering the room, their mouth opened and eyes wide. That's when Daryl caught up with them, looking inside. His blood started to boil, as adrenalin rushed over him, he has waited for this moment for a long time and now it is finally here.

He charged towards the blond man in the room, before Rick stopped him, pulling him away.

"Stop, Daryl, look at me!"

But he didn't look at him, he didn't look at anyone, he saw his target, the man that put him through hell, man that tortured him, man that tried to kill him more than once, he was there, so close, at his grasp.

"Daryl, wait," Rosita called for him, "they have Sasha."

"What," Rick was the one to speak.

"They have Sasha. We tried to get to Negan, they captured her, I escaped, he helped me, wanted to come here, to talk to you. He wants to help us."

"Is it true," Rick stepped inside the room, with everyone following behind him.

Daryl came back to his senses, putting his anger to side, for now, his revenge will have to wait, his friend was in danger.

"Yes, I want to help you," Dwight straighten up, locking his hands behind his back, showing everyone that he will not defend himself if they chose to kill him.

"Why?" Rick stepped closer to him, pulling his gun out.

"Because I want Negan stopped, I want him dead."

"So, why don't you kill him?" Jesus spoke, standing on the far side of the room, observing the intruder.

"It can't be me. They are all Negan, we need to stop them all."

"You," Tara stepped out of the group, joining Rick at his side, "the girl you killed, Her named was Denis, she was a doctor, she helped people."

"I was not aiming at her."

"You bastard," Daryl couldn't control his anger any longer, it was enough he had Glen's death on his conscience he will not accept another one. He pinned the man to the wall, holding a knife close to his eye.

"Do it," Tara's voice came to him.

"Do it," Dwight urged him, "do it. I know you want to and I don't blame you. But I am sorry, I am sorry for everything. I had to do it, for someone else, I had to protect someone else. But she got away, and you got away because of her. Now it is time for this to end, let me help you, for her."

Millions of thoughts came rushing through his head, he heard Tara's voice in the background, urging him to kill, urging him to get his revenge. In the midst of the chaos, he saw his brother, he saw Beth, he saw a crushed head of the Glen and Abraham... Abraham... Sasha.. Sasha is now the one in danger. Dead will stay dead, there is nothing that can be done about that, but the living, the living are the ones worth fighting for.

He hissed as the sharp pain pierced through his head, stepping away from Dwight, turning his back towards the door, he couldn't look at the man, afraid of what he will do.

Rick came closer to him, placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

"We have to trust him, for now," he whispered into his ear, before letting go. "Is Sasha alive?"

"Probably, yes. He will use her as a tool, he won't kill her. He doesn't kill people like her, she is an asset a way to control you. Just like Daryl was."

"And when he finds out what we are planning?"

"I don't know. He will probably use her to negotiate your surrender, he will kill her only if you say no, in that I don't have any doubt."

"This is bad," Tara looked around the room, "all this for nothing. We can't sacrifice her; we can't lose more of our people. We have to put our plans on hold."

"No," Rosita joined them, "Sasha would not want that. We need to do this."

"We can't, not like this."

"There is another way," all of them turned to Dwight, he was sitting on the chair in the middle of the room, his eyes down.

"What way?"

"If you had someone important to him," he looked up, "someone he cares about more than he cares to win this war. Then maybe, he will surrender, without Sasha getting hurt."

"Yeah, like he could care for someone that much," Rosita snorted, rolling her eyes.

"But he does," Dwight fixed his eyes on the back of Daryl's head, a faint smile twitching up, "Alice."

It didn't take more than a second for him to be on the floor, with Daryl on him, his knife on his throat.

"She has nothing to do with this," he growled, inching his face closer to Dwight, "you leave her out of this."

"Daryl stop this!" Rick pulled him away, making him stubble down on the floor.

"We are listening."

"No!" Daryl was back on his feet in second.

"We have to do this, for Sasha."

"No, if we do this, we are no better than he is."

"He started this, we are finishing it."

"She didn't kill any of us, she wasn't here when this all started. If you decide to go with his plan, you are going to kill someone who didn't do anything to you."

"We are not killing here, we are taking her as a hostage."

"There is no way of getting to her, this is stupid, she is at Negans side all the time, he is leading us right into a trap and using Alice as a bait."

"She is not," Dwight interrupted them, "at least not of late. She goes out every night at the same time, searching the outskirts of the Sanctuary, looking for you. She thinks you will come back and try to kill Negan, so she takes the same route every night, waiting for you to try something. Lately, she is going out with only her machete on her. I think she is giving up so you don't have much time if you want to do this, she may not come out tomorrow, she may not come out even tonight, it's a risk but it's the only way."

"No, this is not right. Rick, look at me, we are better than this, this is not how we do things," Daryl felt a panic rising up, he head was spinning, he didn't know what to do or what to say to make them change their mind.

"What's your problem?" Rosita stood before him, "Why do you care? She is only one Savior less to deal with."

"This... is… not.. how… we… do… things…" He got into her face, large drops of sweat gliding down his face, he didn't realize how hot it was down in that basement, or was it hot at all, no one else seemed fazed with the temperature.

"It is not, not before, but now, we have lost so much and we stand to lose more, we have to play dirty or we are all dead."

"Rosita is right, we have to try, for Sasha," Rick came to stand at Rosita's side, his eyes soft, pleading him to calm down, to understand.

"This is not right."

Rick chose to ignore him, turning his attention to Dwight.

He turned away from the group, leaving the room, he didn't want to know what they were planning, he didn't want to have any part in it, no, this war was not something he could choose, but the way he will fight was.

OOO

He was sitting on the stairs of a house across the road, waiting for Rick to come out, the dawn came still he was there alone, looking down at the grass before him, when something caught his eyes, he leaned down, picking up a four-leaf clover, spinning it in between his finger, a smile twitching up.

"You think one day world will be like it used to, bad boy?"

"No."

"Well, aren't you my favorite ray of sunshine? I too, don't think it will, but I am not sure should I be sad or happy about it. Yes, we lose much more now, more people we love, but still it makes us cherish every moment we have with them, it makes us more alive. Funny thing isn't it; we needed to see dead people coming back to life to learn to live."

"Yeah."

"Oh, c'mon bad boy, form at least one fucking sentence, I know you can do it, I have faith in you…Oh, my fucking God, was that a smile. I can't believe it, hahaha, you know how to smile."

"Fuck you, Alice."

"You look much better now," Rick's voice pulled him away from the memory lane, his smile disappearing in a second.

"I was just remembering something, from before."

"Before, what?"

"Just before," he was still rotating a clover in his hand.

"I need you to come with us tonight."

"No."

"I need you there Daryl."

"I said no," he stood up, raising his voice, he may not be able to stop them but he was not going to help them, not this time.

"We need her alive, Daryl. She is of no use to us dead."

"You don't need her! No! I am not coming, I am not helping you with this and you can't make me!"

"Daryl, Sasha will die, if we don't do this."

"And Alice will die if you do this. I am not helping you in this."

"I told you, we will take her as a hostage, we are not planning to kill her." Rick remained calm.

"I know Alice, even if you get to her while she is alone, she will not go peacefully. What will happen then?"

"We do what must be done. "

"Bullshit, do you hear me, bullshit!" Daryl got into his face, poking his chest.
"You want to hurt Negan, that's why you are taking her. Even if Sasha was not there you would still cease this opportunity, And what happens after you get him, and kill him. Do you think she will sit idly by, she will be on our territory and she will kill half of us before we even realize what is happening. You don't know her Rick, I am telling you this is a stupid idea and I am not helping you.

"What is she to you?"

Daryl took a step back at this question, arching his brows.

"What?"

"What is she to you? Why do you care if she lives or dies? She held you captive, she was your jailor. You heard Dwight, she is still looking for you, hoping to kill you. And you are putting us all at risk trying to protect her. What is she to you?"

Daryl's eyes fell down, he turned his head to the side, looking at the truck where Dwight was waiting for Rick.

"We are done with this conversation." He turned to walk away, when Rick grabbed him by his arm, stopping him.

"This is how the world is, we need your help. We are going to do this, with or without you, with you we have better chance in taking her alive and you want her alive. I spoke to Dwight, when this is all over she will stay with us, we will lock her up for a time, until she calms down and accepts the facts. Then she will be able to continue her life here, she didn't do us any harm, no one will object. If she stays out there, with them, you know there will be no chance for that, she will die alongside Negan. This is how you will buy her a way out, she may not appreciate it on the beginning but with time all pain fades and she will make peace with it. "

Daryl turned around, glaring at Rick, furrowing his eyebrows, hesitant to leave.

"You don't have to answer me now, think about it. Sleep for a bit, clear your head. Dwight is going back to Sanctuary, so they don't suspect anything, tonight we are doing this and tomorrow morning Negan will come and then we are finishing him, once and for all."