The Fade was all wrong. Everything felt… fuzzy and things tilted oddly. Not to mention her head felt heavy like she just needed to lie on her back somewhere. Which was new since the Fade had always been the place she felt she had the clearest head. It worked to refresh her emotionally, mentally, and physically. Usually it was better than the waking world not the other way around.
It was difficult to think like this. She felt as though she were wading through thick fog whenever she tried to think too much. What she wouldn't give for her couch back home. The cozy plush one there parents had gotten her as the ultimate first home gift. It was a beautiful thing that couch.
The snowy landscape of Haven begin to Fade. Her mind fought for a moment to catch up but then there it was… her living room. Her couch. Her fucking couch.
All things considered she figured it was about time she got something out of this. The couch may not seem like much in the grand scheme of things but times like this it really was the little things that counted.
She moved to it letting herself plop down on her back into the plush seating, pushing her head so it was cushioned between the cool soft couch and her pillows. The throbbing in her head already was starting to clear out. It would hopefully not be long till her thinking came back to her. She shut her eyes taking deep even breaths.
A voice in her head spoke, "He's coming."
Her eyes fluttered open, "Sherlock? What are…"
The fog of her brain cleared even more and she realized what he meant. Solas.
Shit.
As fast as she could she thought of Haven once more. The shifting of landscape had become easier to her but with her mind the way it was tonight the shift was slow and jarring. By the time it was complete he was already there frowning at her.
"Hey..." She waved, "How you doing?"
Solas opened his mouth, closed it, and sighed. The frown fled his face however so she took that as a good sign. The world shifted again and they were in the library where she had stumbled upon him after that 'thing that shall not be spoken of' happened.
The library was stunning as ever, even in her still mildly foggy state. Since he brought her here she took that as meaning he wouldn't mind if she looked at least. So she went forward her fingers tracing the scroll on the bindings.
She admired them for a moment longer before she spoke, "These are in Elvhen?"
"Correct."
So much knowledge. It was so close to her reach yet she could gain none of it. She turned to Solas who was already looking on shelves to the other side of her. He pulled out a book, flipped through it, slid it back into place and continued looking.
"Why did you bring me here? I mean it is the most glorious place I've ever seen but-"
"You exaggerate."
"No I don't. Books are… they are life. They are knowledge and power and… well… they are a way for us to understand not only the world but our existence in it. Be it by fact or fable."
His eyes were doing that piercing thing again. It must affect her brain more than she thought for suddenly the world tilted once around her before righting itself again. Her hand went up to her brow as she moaned in irritation.
"You are drunk. Sit. It will pass. Your will controls the Fade. When your mind is affected so too will the Fade be." He went back to examining the shelves.
She sighed and walked around the room for the ideal place to settle, "You know my brain is a bit fuzzy but it took you longer to get in the Fade then usual. Most of the time you're here before me."
"I had something to attend to."
She went to sit in one of the window seats pressing her forehead to the cool glass with a sigh. As she tried to look she could make out little in the distance, the nearby sloping green hills were the only things that were somewhat clear. She sighed once more.
"Does the release of air help?"
She turned her head back to the room to watch as Solas brought a stack of books to his desk. "Yes."
He didn't look at her instead pulling out his chair and opening one of the books as he spoke, "I brought you here because this library is extensive. It may help. I am not prepared to leave you alone in the Fade at this time."
She frowned, "I am not completely incapable of caring for myself you know."
He mumbled so she could barely hear it, "Mar'esaya su esh Breach ma ane." Your attempt at the Breach implies otherwise.
That was getting irritating. The tone was that you would use with child who had got caught in a lie. Even more annoying that she couldn't understand and he refused to translate ever. If she was going to be insulted she should at least be able to fight back.
She'd had just about enough shit for the day. Hell she'd had enough shit for a lifetime and now with the warmth of the booze almost completely worn off her emotions were becoming agitated once more.
That was fine. If he wanted to play that kind of game with her she could give what she got. Sure that was probably a childish thought but in her mind he was the one being childish. She was an adult damnit. She would be treated as such. Not like he could be that much older than her.
She stood and went over to his desk placing her hands firmly on the surface directly in front of where he was working. She leaned down so her face was closer to his though he still continued to ignore her.
"Vas te faire enculer, Solas. Tu es un trou du cul." Fuck you, Solas. You're being an asshole. Her tone was one that allowed little doubt that what she was saying was not complimentary. Perhaps it was a bit harsh but not like he could understand her and she'd reached a breaking point. Something needed to give.
That got his attention. His eyes snapped up to meet hers and his response was even more clipped than normal, "What?"
"Oh. Es-tu ennuyé de ne pas comprendre?" Are you annoyed you can't understand what I'm saying? She straightened making her way around the desk, "Tu as ma pitié, loup." You have my pity, wolf.
She rounded the desk so she could see the line of his jaw when he clenched it before he spoke in a low tone, "Not now."
"Tu ne trouves pas de ce côté que le plaisir? Tu veux que je m'arrête?" You do not find this side as fun? You want me to stop? She eased closer to him and let her fingers brush against his back tracing towards the bare skin of neck. As her fingers touched the warmth of his skin she stopped leaning towards his ear, "C'est dommage." That's too bad.
Something snapped in him then.
In retrospect she should have seen it coming by the warning in his voice. Maybe she did and just didn't care at that point. Or maybe some odd little part of her wanted to see him lose it in some form or another, just once. To know that it was possible for even this man of such control to slip.
Slip he did.
Before she could even register what was happening he had stood grabbing the wrist of the hand she'd been using on his neck. His grip wasn't painful but it was firm enough to prevent flight even if she'd had the mind to do attempt it. Using his momentum he pushed her back.
She found herself trapped between his body and a bookshelf. One of his hand's kept her wrist pinned behind her while the other went to the side of her face, boxing her in. His body looming over her as the fierceness of him took her breath.
She should have been frightened. The cord had snapped, she'd pushed too far. Now more than ever she was reminded that he was powerful and that he was probably holding much of it at bay. The man practically flowed over with power. She couldn't fathom how the others didn't seem to see it.
When he spoke his voice was a growl more animalistic than anything else, "Felasil. I warned you, vara u'em." Fool. Leave me alone.
She still had no clue what he was saying but the tone suggested more insults and maybe a threat. Any sane person would back down. Apologize. The problem was she didn't fear him. Not really. For whatever reason she knew he would never physically harm her just as sure as she knew she could never do anything to physically harm him.
So instead she met his eyes and growled back, "Vas bouffer ta merde." Eat shit.
He leaned in even closer the hint of his magic tingling her skin, "Dhava 'ma masa." Kiss my ass.
She picked another random French insult to hurl at him, "Va te faire foutre." Go get fucked.
Their eyes locked and they stared each other down. The energy between them sparked and shifted. She felt it lighting something other than anger though no less potent. There was a change in his eyes as well. He looked… hungry.
When he next spoke the rumble of his voice sent a shiver through her body, "Aman ara'mis." Let me sheath myself in you. He continued his growl turned husky, "Isalan hima sa i'na." I lust to become one with you.
Why did that sound so familiar to her? She was certain he hadn't said it before yet…
Still keeping her pinned he moved his face to her neck. Just a tiny more and his mouth would be against her. She heard him breathe in deep. He was smelling her. Stupid as it was it turned her on more.
Then he continued speaking moving his mouth near her ear, "Nuvenan rosa'da'din in ma sule enan'ma." I want to cum inside of you until I spill out of you.
Her eyes widened and she felt the pooling of heat in her lower body growing. She remembered that one. Those were the words he'd said when she had walked in on him pleasuring himself. There was no doubt now where this had gone now.
She should stop. She should push him off her.
Instead she spoke in a half moan her body trying to press even closer to him, "Ta voix me fait mouiller." Your voice makes me wet. Her free hand went to his chest wishing she could feel his bare skin under her fingers.
That's all it took. In a split second his mouth was on hers. This was no soft meeting of lips. It was ravenous, bruising. Just as quickly as she had wanted to submit she now wanted to challenge him more. The stubborn streak in her not wanting him to be able to possess her so easily.
So she bit him on the lower lip. Hard.
The reaction was instant. He released her wrist and pulled his head back, though his body was still a mere hands width from her. The fingers that had held tight to her wrist now came up touching his bottom lip. He looked at the blood on the tip then looked at her.
The arousal was still strong. She could feel the flush to her cheeks and imagined her pupils were just as dilated as his. She licked her lower lip, "Solas. J'ai envie de toi." I want you. Her voice was pleading "I want-"
Before she could finish he snarled and was on her once more. This time his hand went to the back of her head releasing her bun roughly before knotting his fingers through her curls. He held her tight to him. She could taste his blood on her lips. She let her tongue seek his mouth just as he was doing the same. When they met she let out a strangled moan of desire.
Forgive her.
"Is this what happens before sex?"
The sudden interruption was like having a bucket of ice water thrown on them. Solas was releasing her and stepping away from her so quickly she almost lost her balance. Without a word he stormed from the library slamming the door behind him.
There were several minutes of silence. She looked at the closed door then brought a hand up to her swollen, tender lips. That had chased the alcohol from her mind at least.
"I interrupted sorry. It is just odd. I didn't know something could hurt but feel good at the same time."
"It's alright Sherlock. You weren't really…" She let her hand fall to her side and straightened her clothing, "I'm happy to see you. And no, it isn't always like that. It has never…" been like that for me before. Never this intense. "Uhmm yes on occasion pain goes with pleasure. For some people more than others."
"Your one of those?"
"No not… not usually."
"Is Solas?"
"I'm not sure." She worked to keep her voice neutral, "You'd have to ask him sometime."
"He liked it. What you were doing. He wanted to-"
"Sherlock, would you be interested in another trade."
His eyes widened, "Oh yes."
Ah her faithful friend. Perfectly happy to change the conversation. Why couldn't everything be that easy?
"Do you speak Elvhen?"
"Yes. I also read it."
"Wonderful, would you-"
She stopped as the door opened revealing Solas. His breathing even and mouth no longer showing any signs of a bite. "I will teach you. If you will allow."
"I… yeah that should be… good. If uhmm if you're sure?"
"I am." He walked over to his desk and placed his hands on the back of his chair but stopped before he pulled it out. She watched as his long fingers thrummed a few times, "I must apologize the... kiss was impulsive and ill considered. And I should not have encouraged it."
The last part came out in a rush and she raised a brow unable to hide the hint of hurt in her voice as she spoke, "Are you telling me you didn't like it?"
"Yes. No. I… that is not my point." He took a deep breath, "I am not certain this is a good idea. It could lead to trouble."
His voice almost sounded resigned. Only then did it hit her just what she had done and all that implied. Best case she cheated on her husband but hadn't affected Solas much at all in the big picture. Worst case she caused two men upset and dug herself an even deeper emotional pit then she was already in with Solas.
"You're right. It would definitely lead to trouble." She forced a teasing smile, "If it had been serious. But it was just a kiss. Spur of the moment. You said yourself it was impulsive. Times are emotionally charged right now. Things can come out in odd ways. Perhaps that and us simply being curious about each other, about what it would be like is the cause. Now we know."
When he spoke again it was barely loud enough for her to hear, "Now we know." He pulled out his chair and took a seat once more. His voice returning to normal volume, "From now on we will only be…"
He paused seeming to search for the word so she thought to supply it for him, "Friends."
His eyes went up to her and for a moment she thought he might disagree. Instead he gave a hint of a nod.
There was no reason to mention they'd had this agreement before. She'd still ended up pushed between his body and a bookcase. It was clear her desire for him wouldn't simply say, 'Oh ok just friends. Got it. We're all good now.' So she'd just have to hang on till she could figure this whole thing out and get home.
"You are both strange." Sherlock was looking between them his head tilted slightly, "Why would-"
"Sherlock," Solas reached for a book on his desk, "Have you noticed anything around her in the Fade? Anything unusual?"
"Yes. Always watching. Waiting. Curious about her too but in a different way."
A rock formed in Emma's stomach. "Oh good. I'm getting quite the fanbase. Maybe I should start charging for autographs." She had tried for a joking tone but her voice had cracked ruining some of the affect.
The knowledge that she was being constantly watched… she'd expected it in the back of her mind after the whole incident at the Breach but to have it confirmed. Not only confirmed but confirmed as though it was just a fact of life.
"Is he watching now?"
"She. She sometimes watches when she thinks you won't know. She will stay away when you are near now that you are aware of her." His eyes flicked to Emma, "She asks me about you but I kept my deal with you. She offered lots of new information in exchange but you are far more curious than anything. I like you most. I said no. Always no."
Solas' eyes sharpened on Sherlock, "You know who this entity is?"
Sherlock nodded smiling, "Yes. The-." His head flinched back, his smile falling and eyes going cloudy, "Oh…"
Immediate panic hit her and she was next to him in a second. She placed her hands on each side of his face trying to bring his eyes back. Her fingers caressing his skin as a mother would a scared child.
"Sherlock. Are you ok? Sherlock, please answer me." When he didn't respond she turned wide eyes to Solas, "What's happening!? Is this because of me?"
Solas was frowning the last sentence seeming to bring him back from deep thought, "The entity has erased his knowledge of her. Give him a moment."
As though on cue Sherlock stirred in her hands, "It's gone. You have very long fingers. I like it but why are you touching my face?"
There was still a lingering heaviness to her stomach. When she turned back to him she examined his eyes closely making sure they were normal again. "Are you ok?"
"Yes." He blinked, "Are you going to bite me too?"
There was a strangled sound behind her something between a cough and a chuckle. The heat that flooded her cheeks once again was immediate. She pulled her hands away quickly and shook her head., "No I'm not going to bite you. I was just worried. You're sure you're ok?"
"I'm good but what was I talking about?"
"Nothing." She glanced at Solas and he acknowledged her look with another small nod before going back to looking at his books, "It was nothing at all. Just… just be careful ok. Don't go digging anywhere for my sake that you shouldn't be digging around in."
He tilted his head, "Why would I dig? Do you need to bury something?"
"No not literally… what I mean is don't get all curious about dangerous things because you think it will help me, ok?"
"Ok," He smiled, "You are interesting enough. I don't need to dig any holes." He smiled proud to have used her term. She didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't exactly correct, not that it mattered anyways.
She would miss him when she was gone. With a swift motion she moved to take his head one last time giving him a peck on the forehead, "Good."
"M'en enseigneras-tu plus?" Will you teach me more?
"Très bien! Oui, je vais t'apprendre plus." Very good. Yes, I will teach you more. She started walking back to the window seat motioning for him to follow, "Is there something specific you'd like to learn next?"
As they were passing his desk Solas spoke, "Will you teach me?"
"Teach you?" With everything that had happened it took her a few moments to realize what he meant, "Ooohh teach you French? Bien sûr. Of course. Now that you have finally agreed to teach me Elvhen we have a fair trade." She gave him a lopsided grin, "When would you like to start that?"
"Not now. We will fit it in when the time is available. Same for Elvhen. There are more pressing matters at the moment." He frowned down at the books in front of him. "Namely how to track the entity that spoke to you. You are sure there is nothing else in regard to that?"
"Not that would be relevant to the entity."
His eyes came back up to her face at that, "Perhaps I should decide what is relevant."
"I was cold. I had trouble moving my fingers more than a twitch." She forced a shrug hoping it was convincing, "Little things."
"Most likely the fog the entity used." He turned his attention back to the book.
She took that as a dismissal and went back to her spot next to the window. She set cross legged with Sherlock doing the same on the other side of the bench. With that she started a quiet conversation with him in French careful to still stick to mostly basics, occasionally tossing in more difficult things. He was a quick learner. No surprise there.
The view was beautiful. Sherlock's company was welcome as ever and it was pleasant to be able to focus on something she was actually confident in. Still neither did anything to distract her from the memory of what had happened between Solas and herself. She kept finding her fingers touching her tender lips lightly. It was like she was trying to secure the memory of him.
She was doomed. A horrible awful person who was doomed to pine after some man who was, quite literally, from a fantasy world. Maybe it would be better if she did forget all this when she returned home.