A/N: For those of you interested - this story will have 50 or 51 chapters including the epilogue. Currently the epilogue is about 4 times as long as a normal chapter, so I may decide to split it in to 2 during editing. Thank you all SO much as always for being spectacular readers.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Let's not talk about depressing things

"I'm so sorry Effie," Marlene muttered quietly as we headed to Potions the next day. She'd been apologizing to me since we'd woken up and I was feeling slightly exhausted by it.

"I know you didn't mean it. I'm just glad that he didn't see anything. Sirius would have flipped a lid and Regulus would've probably broken up with me on spot," I said tiredly.

"I tried to stop him! When he asked where you were, I said the Library, and then when he said that he'd already been there to check, I wasn't sure what to say," she replied, looking very sorry. "I thought I'd go downstairs with him and start yelling for you to tip you off but then James cornered me about Quidditch practice for next week's third place match and it was the first time he's spoken to me since I lost the last one!" she said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to a stop outside the Potions classroom. We fell silent as Wendelin, Florence and Emmeline passed by us and we said low, stale hellos to Benjy and Jasper. They had the sense to leave us alone when they saw our expressions, but I saw Benjy worriedly watching our conversation from his new desk.

"I told him that he had to shout if he was going to look for you because you space out when you're studying. I thought that would give you and you-know-who enough warning," she said, her forehead creasing together as she looked at me worriedly.

"Marlene, I said it was fine. You don't have to feel bad. I just wish you'd give him a chance," I said, feeling bad for being even annoyed with her. But she knew my real concern wasn't so much the Sirius factor – but the fact that she still refused to like Regulus.

"Look Effie, I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about you seeing him," Marlene said quietly after the last of our class had entered. Regulus had swept by without a second look at either of us and I was feeling pretty low. I hoped he wasn't really angry with me for ditching him.

"But even if I wish you weren't seeing him, I would never do anything to hurt your happiness. You do know that, don't you?" Marlene pressed.

"Marlene, I love you – but you really need to stop apologizing!" I smiled. "But can't you make a bit of an effort with him?"

She raised her eyebrow and then immediately looked solemn. "Whenever I have a chance…I will try."

I smiled again and hugged her swiftly. "Sorry for giving you a hard time."

"Sorry I almost caused the gossip of the century to get out," she said as we entered the classroom and sat down at our desk with Regulus.

"Morning Regulus," she said pleasantly, giving me a look as if to say – 'I told you so'.

Regulus, however, curled his lip in distaste. "Why are you talking to me McKinnon?"

Avery and Goyle laughed loudly from their places and Regulus smiled the wicked, self-satisfied grin that was my least favourite. I shot him a look that he pretended not to see and Marlene rolled her eyes, grumbling under her breath.

Once the lesson started and there was sufficient commotion in the room, I spoke to him, barely moving my lips but meaning every word.

"Apologize to Marlene, Reg."

He scoffed quietly. "Apologize to me."

Marlene crushed her beetles with extra vigor as she bit her tongue and I sighed quietly.

"I was going to. I am sorry. But you know I couldn't have done anything. He would've been suspicious," I said in a light, hopefully fair, tone.

Regulus ground his teeth together as he started to cut up some roots loudly but precisely. Eventually, he pushed the carefully cut up roots to Marlene, exchanging them for her own crudely cuts ones that she had butchered in her irritation with him.

"Sorry McKinnon," he muttered after he'd glanced over to his Slytherin friends. They were too busy chucking frogspawn at each other and hadn't noticed anything from our table.

Marlene looked torn. On one hand, I was sure she was still disdainful of my boyfriend. But on the other, they really were beautifully cut up roots.

"Thanks," she said, nodding curtly.

"And I'm sorry too," Regulus murmured to me when Marlene gracefully got up to go to the cupboard and give us some privacy. His lips barely moved as he spoke, but I heard him clearly anyway.

"That's okay."

"So, you've got a big party today then?" he said nonchalantly as he proceeded to salvage Marlene's terrible roots.

"Yeah, may have to cut tonight short," I said regretfully. "But I promised."

He nodded again. "It's okay. Maybe we'll have the rest of the weekend."

I smiled at my Potion and I knew he was smiling too.

"Let's go up to the Astronomy Tower tonight," he said when we purposefully knocked over a jar of beetles and had to stoop to pick them up together. Slughorn tisked at us but said nothing, so we were able to carry on a conversation as long as we forced ourselves to look publicly annoyed.

"Star gazing?" I asked, winking and then scowling dramatically when he brushed my hand. He held back laughter as he snatched his hand back and nodded subtly.

"Something like that."

"Oh Merlin, you cheesy git – what did you do?" I giggled when Regulus removed his hand from my eyes that evening in the Astronomy Tower.

"You don't like it?" he asked as he led me over to the blanket laden with a basket of snacks and elderflower wine.

"No, it's lovely," I said, blushing embarrassedly. It was very cheesy but lovely all the same.

"It's the best I can do without any more Hogsmeade visits on the cards," he shrugged as he poured us both wine.

I refused mine. I was still not that interested in drinking. To my slight annoyance, he insisted a little bit too hard. Eventually I just took it so that he wouldn't get in a strop with me. As I sipped it, I was a little alarmed at how much I liked the taste.

"So, the big Slytherin-Gryffindor Third Place match is next weekend," Regulus said as we drank and ate bread and fancy cheeses. I was so consumed with one called Brie that my mouth was too full to answer.

"Yes, how exciting!" I finally mumbled, my mouth still half-full. Regulus shook his head and wiped some crumbs off my mouth.

"You'll be there to watch me pummel my brother and his gang?" he said, leaning back and nudging my leg with his foot.

I shook my head. "I'm rooting for Gryffindor you mad man! My best friend is the Keeper."

"But you don't even care about Quidditch," he laughed. "Shouldn't you be supporting me?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Sure. Avery can teach me all about the different Seeker moves you do."

He laughed. "You'll never learn them anyway."

I nodded and we both chuckled and drank more wine. It was really a pleasant sort of buzz – not the same as the throat burning firewhisky I'd tried once or twice.

"Everyone will probably expect me to watch the match with my fictional Hufflepuff mates," I said, sighing. "Or I suppose they'll laugh at me and tell me they knew I was full of crap last time."

Regulus clicked his tongue. "What a ridiculous lie for you to make up. Honestly, why didn't you just say you were sick or something?"

"Because that would have been rational and believable and I am far too exciting for that," I said, sticking my nose up.

"Well, Bertie Hobblesworth owes me a favour, I'll make him pretend and sit with you during the match," Regulus offered, leaning forward to push my hair off my face and kiss me.

"That would be brilliant!" I said, grinning at him. "At least I won't look like a fool that way."

"I'll take care of it," Regulus laughed, lifting his glass and toasting mine. "To not looking like a fool."

We smiled and polished off the contents of our glasses.

No wonder my dad drank so much – this stuff was delicious.

"How do you ever stop?" I said when we'd finished the first bottle of wine and cracked open a second.

Regulus laughed lightly. "You don't!"

I shrugged, sipping my wine thoughtfully before I put it down and pushed it far away from me, ignoring Regulus' questioning look. I hadn't yet shared anything about my home life with him. Maybe part of me was afraid to talk about my muggle background when he hadn't always been okay with me being muggleborn. I was also ashamed of my dysfunctional family and even though Marlene and Sirius had taken it well when I'd told them, I was worried Regulus would judge me. Unfathomably he seemed to like all my ridiculous quirks, but could he handle this one?

"I've only ever had the odd firewhisky shot and that was more peer pressure than anything," I said quietly. "But I don't want to drink that. Especially since it's good."

He laughed and pulled me to him, in our favourite gesture: his arms around me while I leaned against his chest. "Yeah, it's the best stuff. You should have more," he smiled in to my neck.

"No," I began hesitantly. I wanted to share this with him. It was an important part of my life, regardless of how embarrassed I was about it. "My dad is a big drinker… I'm scared that if I start…I might become just like him."

Regulus' arms had stiffened around me but we still moved gently along with his steady breathing.

"He's a violent drunk," I whispered, my eyes abruptly filling with tears. I had been distracted over the past two months – it had been easy to shut this pain away. I felt Regulus' hands rubbing my arms comfortingly as he listened.

"He hit my mum over Christmas and I had him arrested," I said in the hardest voice I could manage. It didn't help much; the tears had now fallen down my cheeks.

"Shushh, let's not talk about depressing things," Regulus said, rocking me a little before he bent down to kiss me softly once. He then leaned away and began stroking my hair as I closed my eyes and tried not to fall apart. I felt a twinge of sadness – he was a good listener but he wasn't quite as good at finding the right words. I couldn't help but think of the support I'd gotten from the only other two people who knew about my situation and compare his words to theirs. I felt a little empty at his comfort, but the mixture of wine, his soft stroking and the warmth of his arms lulled me into a calm, dreamless slumber.

When I woke up at the sound of a screech owl flying near the Astronomy Tower windows, my neck felt stiff from falling asleep hunched over. Regulus was still sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly. He looked so sweet when he slept and even though he hadn't wanted to talk about what I'd revealed to him – I appreciated his attempt to comfort me anyway. Despite the slight aching head I had woken up with, I felt better and the thoughts of my father were safely shut away to think about another time. I yawned and stretched, moving from Regulus' arms so that I could check my watch. I had better hurry and get to James and Remus' party. MERLIN. 2AM!

"Shit!" I yelled, wrenching myself free from Regulus and standing up too fast. I had a sudden head rush and clutched at my hair, trying to think clearly. People would notice I wasn't there. Sirius had asked me to come specifically!

"Effie…" Regulus groaned sleepily. His eyes opened as slits. "Why are you running around like a loon?"

"It's two bloody am, Reg!" I said, picking up my sweater and hurrying to pull it on. He stretched and blinked his eyes a few times, trying to wake up and keep up with my outburst.

"Is it?"

"Yes! I've missed James and Remus' party! Shit."

Regulus chuckled and closed his eyes again. "Who cares?"

"Regulus! I promised I would go. And it's after curfew!" I whined, looking around for my shoes. He sighed and tossed them to me, standing up as I forced them on to my feet.

"You don't need me to walk you to your common room, do you? I would, but there are usually a few other Slytherins lurking around at this time of night," he said, looking apologetic.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I sighed, pulling my hair on to the top of my head. I was a terrible friend. I had promised Sirius and Marlene I'd be there. Even if James and Remus didn't notice – they would have. Marlene would maybe understand, but I'd have to come up with some far-fetched excuse for Sirius and I was so bad at those.

"Cool," Regulus shrugged, beginning to pack away the food, bottles and blanket.

"I'll just…I'll see you tomorrow," I said, hurrying over to him and kissing him lightly.

"Mmmhmm," he nodded sleepily, stroking my cheek before he waved goodbye.

I tore down the steps of the Astronomy Tower and legged it back to Gryffindor Tower as fast as my legs could carry me. I was sweaty and out of breath by the time I reached the portrait and hurriedly gave the password. Thankfully I hadn't run in to Filch or any rogue Slytherins anywhere on my way.

The Common Room was dark, just lit by a few candles and the large fireplace. The floor was strewn with streamers, bottles and sweet wrappers and several sofa cushions were piled in the middle of the room. A large green splatter was exploded across a wall near the boys' staircase and one lone figure sat on the sofa staring in to the fire.

Sirius looked up when he heard the portrait slam shut, but turned back to the fire almost instantly. "You were out late," he said.

I wasn't sure why I felt so guilty. Of course I'd agreed to come, but I didn't have to go! Even so, seeing the vacant expression on Sirius' face as I joined him by the fire made me feel miserable.

"So, what were you up to?" he asked in the same monotone as he stared in to the fire.

"Oh…I was with my Hufflepuff mates and I just sort of lost track of time," I said, glad that he wasn't looking at me. There was nothing convincing about either my expression or my words, I was sure.

Sirius chuckled and squinted at me. "Ah. Right. The ones you watch the Quidditch with?"

"Yup…that's right," I said, looking up at the green splatter on the wall. "What happened there?"

Sirius glanced up at it and shrugged. "You know, I have no idea. Everyone was blasted – might be vomit."

"Oh, disgusting," I said and he chuckled again.

"What are you still doing down here then?" I asked, bothered by his blank expression and stale laughter. "Were you thinking about cleaning?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nah. But I guess I should," he said getting to his feet and half-heartedly putting the sofa cushions back where they belonged. I got up and began helping by piling the dirty glasses on to the tables in the middle of the room.

"Hey – you weren't even here, don't do that," Sirius said dully, grabbing my hand. He looked at my eyes for a moment before he dropped it and shrugged. He barely made a dent in cleaning up the mess, but he did send a spell up to wipe the splatter off the wall before nodding curtly at me.

"Guess that's good enough. I'm going to bed," he muttered, turning his back on me and starting up the staircase. And then, because I couldn't help myself and I couldn't handle the sad look on his face, I had to stop him.

"Sirius!"

He stopped and turned around expectantly. He had a hard look as he leaned against the banister and squinted down at me.

"Will…" He looked so angry with me. It felt horrible. "Will James and Remus be angry that I wasn't here?"

Sirius sighed and laughed bitterly. "Let's be honest for a second, Effie. My mates like you but they would've understood that you wanted to hang out with your Hufflepuff mates tonight. It's me who wanted you to be here. I wanted to talk to you."

I crinkled my brow together, trying to show him I was sorry to have missed it. He'd been there for me when I needed someone to talk to and I was nowhere around when he'd wanted to talk to me. "You wanted to talk about Emmeline?"

He laughed again, hollowly and nodded at the ceiling. "Oh yeah. About her."

"We can talk now…" I suggested, wincing when he scowled. "I…I didn't realize you'd want to talk to me about it."

He covered his eyes, sighing deeply. "No? I guess, I just thought that I was your friend. That we've shared things with each other and…I thought I'd made it clear…" he paused, looking at me helplessly. "I just figured that friends show up for each other."

"I'm sorry Sirius. I really am," I said, walking up the couple of stairs to stand beside him. He didn't look at me, just focused his attention on the empty room behind me. He bit the inside of his mouth and his jaw flexed slightly before he shrugged again, putting on a brighter voice.

"You know, I'm sorry," he said, looking at me finally. "I think I've been forcing you to be my friend and it's obvious that you've got your own life and stuff going on. You don't seem to need me."

"Sirius…"

He smiled and his eye twitched slightly. "And I've gotten on just fine with the same four mates for the last six years, so I don't really need another one anyway."

I could say nothing. If he didn't want to be friends with me, I'd understand. I'd never really understood why he was friendly with me in the first place.

"But if you wanted…" his jaw flexed again. "To hang around with me sometimes…when you're free. Well, I'll wait." And with that, he nodded and turned to hurry up the stairs to his dormitory. He kicked the top step on his way and left me standing there in the empty room feeling horrifyingly guilty.

A/N: Drama, drama. More tomorrow!