Log- January 15th 2190
We've just finished the physicals that Cerberus conducts. They were incredibly invasive and in my opinion unnecessary. I honestly think that they only do that so they can cop a feel off of girls like us. God I hate this place already.
On the plus side, I get to room with Sam, whilst Rikki and Kasumi stay together. Wait, I probably shouldn't call them that again should I. Aah screw it, this is where I vent I can call them whatever I like.
We've all had to go through complete remodelling in order to evade notice. . the only major change was our noses. Each of us received rhinoplasty to completely fool everyone else. Other than that the only thing that was changed was our hairstyles and colour. I was now blonde, whereas Sam was a redhead, Rikki was ginger and Kasumi dyed her hair whatever she liked. To start off with it's dark blue and she'll change it regularly. Joker had EDI remove our genetic records from the Citadel and school databases to prevent Cerberus finding us before we left the citadel.
The Alliance thought that it would be a good idea for them to pick out our names, instead of us doing it ourselves. Do they honestly think we're dumb enough to name ourselves after any loved ones. Anyway, I now go by Paige Knight, Kasumi was Aoi Kuneida, Rikki was Sasha Banks and Sam was now April Jeanette Lee.
I just hope that we can get off of this god forsaken space station soon
Log- February 12th 2190.
I am in agony! We all got sorted into different training groups on arrival. Rikki and I were put in as combatants whilst Sam and Kasumi were being taught tech.
The instructor is obviously a former Alliance drill sergeant the way he's barking out orders to the rest of us. If you complained, you got your ass kicked within an inch of your life, so no one made a peep. This atmosphere of fear he had created wasn't healthy, fear only leads to resentment and eventually revolution. So when someone snaps and kills this asshole, I will not shed a tear.
This actual physical side of the training had me feeling nostalgic. I can't believe it's been 7 months since my last day in school. That weeks soldier training was brutal. Anderson had us all complete a 5 mile run on an ice planet, and straight afterward we had hand to hand combat training followed by survival training.
I still can't believe he's actually dead. He stepped up to be our surrogate father after my biological one died. Outside of school he was always so caring. He would check up on us to make sure everything was good, he was at every birthday party and every Christmas. He protected Nate and I from harm in any way that he could.
And what really made me happy was that he was always there for my mum when my dad died. He was there for Nate when he was going through that whole ordeal with Talitha and Ashley. I only wish he was around now to help him through what he's experiencing right now.
I miss him and I'll make sure that Cerberus pays for what they did to him.
Log- February 26th 2190.
Today was absolutely sickening. Cerberus had called all the new recruits into the theatre where some jackass named Oleg Petrovsky played footage of the day that Cerberus took over the Citadel. They presented the Cerberus troopers as brave heroes, trying to fight injustice.
There was a seen where they showed James dying. They showed him ramming a sky truck into the two ATLAS MECHs, sending them over the edge and causing an explosion that killed everyone involved.
They muted out his final words as well as Garrus and Nate's final plea for his life. instead they played the scene in slow motion and played sad violins in the background.
Seeing James's death sent a wave of emotion through me. Realising that he was only 17 and he sacrificed his life like that, for us. And now Cerberus was trying to make him look like a psycho killer.
I was almost in tears watching it, the instructors caught on to it. Hopefully they think it's because I was moved by the soldiers sacrifice.
I'm glad Nate isn't here for this, he'd flip out if they saw what they were doing.
At the end of the video it showed a triumphant Cerberus with Petrovsky and The Illusive Man in the Council Chambers whilst the old ones were being hauled away by guards.
Everyone erupted into applause and cheers at the site of humanity now controlling the Citadel.
I couldn't help but notice that they never once showed any video of the soldiers killing humans, or any human resistance. It's amazing how things can be distorted to suit someone's agenda
Log- March 27th 2190.
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! They found out that there was a mole in the facility. One of us has been caught. Shit but how did they find out. Could it be this journal. No it couldn't be, I keep it on my person at all times, and to unlock this you'd need to have my saliva, voice, fingerprint and the password changes on a daily basis.
But I thought we were all being extra careful, we never acted out of the ordinary in training and we all tried to talk to other students so we didn't look suspicious.
We can't leave the station so I guess we have to wait and see what they have in store for us.
Log- March 29th 2190.
They found the mole. Luckily for us it wasn't the girls. The problem is it was our handler, he was the one communicating our progress and making sure that Cerberus stayed off of our back. They'll probably torture him and see if he'll talk about us. Dammit!
On a brighter note, I've been getting to know the recruits around the station. Most of them are in their 20s and 30s so we didn't really have much in common. But we had to act like we were 20/21 since that's what our profiles said. They weren't all Xenophobic assholes like I thought. Most of them were, but the rest were good people who just didn't like the fact that humans were ostracised by the galactic community.
Log- April 17th 2190
We've just returned from shore leave and some good news. Sam managed to get the new schematics for the ship. They were upgrading the communications sector and Sam managed to clone the data provided. This could be invaluable.
We met up with one of the people aboard the Normandy, Lieutenant Commander Coats. He informed us about a new development in the mission. We were meant to look for any information regarding a planet called Ilos. That was going to be key if we were going to reclaim the Citadel.
He also gave me some news that really brightened up my day. He told me that Nate was now deemed combat ready. Which meant one thing; he was over his heart condition, or that he'd made enough progress with it that Dr Chakwas could clear him to fight.. GO NATE!
Log- May 2nd 2190
The arrangements have been made to transfer Samantha and Kasumi to Ilos. I don't know what it is she's trying to find but that compartmentalisation is being forced on us now. After the mole was found, we were ordered to interact with people other than our friends, this meant that if one of us was caught then it would be harder for the rest to be associated. The compartmentalisation is also in case we get caught, if we're captured then we can't tell them anything since we won't know.
I've been instructed to investigate their combat tactics, see if there are any weaknesses that can be exploited.
The only problem is that the propaganda is starting to get to me. I'm slowly becoming desensitised to the violence against aliens. Cerberus is indoctrinating us, by subliminally showing aliens as our inferiors.
I'm scared that after enough time on board this ship, those very beliefs will become mine. I never want to look at Kolyat and think that I'm better than him, or I deserve dominion over him just because I'm human.
Log- May 17th 2190
I must be doing amazing if Cerberus are willing to promote me this quickly. I've spent 3 months in combat training and I've already been promoted to the advanced course. Apparently this is the exact same training as the N courses. I'm going to start the N1 course on the 23rd. This means I'm being moved to the other side of the station. So the downside was that I was now completely isolated from Rikki.
I remember that my father was an N7 and so was my mother. I miss my father terribly. There hasn't been a day that's gone by where I haven't thought about him. I know that I should be over it after almost 5 years, but the pain is still raw. Losing my dad and Ashley that year was tough on everyone, Nate more than others. I hope that he'll realise that he loves our father one day.
I just hope that this stay aboard the ship ends soon.
Log- May 23rd 2190
Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! I just saw Jack and Miranda. I can't believe that they're here. I thought they would be on the Citadel. Why are they here? Miranda was wearing her usual black catsuit, whereas Jack was wearing the normal Cerberus attire but with combat boots.
My initial instinct was to hide so they didn't see me. But then I remembered that my appearance had been altered. I'd better avoid them, if they recognise my personality then I'd be screwed.
To make matters worse, Kelly and Kai Leng showed up too, along with a mass of recruits, some of which I knew. The good thing was that I could get lost in the shuffle.
After an initial induction, Jack, Miranda, Kelly and Leng took us into 4 separate groups. I ended up with Jack, she was showing us how to deal with biotics. She wasn't at all herself, she was military like and even more aggressive than she normally was.
Log- June 16th 2190.
I need to get off of this fucking station. I swear to God if I here 'Cerberus is humanity' again I am going to go on a killing spree. Especially when I hear those words coming from Jen.
It is so hard to be around Jen, Miranda and Kelly, and knowing that they don't even remember me. I can't talk to some of my best friends. I wish Liara was here with me to make this easier. I'm really starting to miss everyone. Liara, Garrus, Kaidan, Tali, Kasumi, Jacob, Miranda, Jen, Grunt, James, Kelly, Sam and even Aria, Rikki and Javik.
But most of all I miss Nate, my mum, Thane and Kolyat. I love them all so much, and I just wish they were all here with ne. but they are what I'm fighting for so I have to stay strong
Log- July 24th 2190
Cerberus is hosting an anniversary ball for the Citadel takeover. We were all excused from training and we could relax for the day. For me that was impossible since everywhere I turned they were playing footage of that day.
Watching Nyreen and James die wasn't easy. And without Sam, Kasumi or Rikki to calm me down. I spent most of the day in the gym whereas others relaxed. My instructors saw this as dedication on my part and praised me, but encouraged me to take a break and go to the ball. I knew if I didn't attend, it would look suspicious.
So I attended and I really wish I didn't. There was a mural at the back of the hall showing The Illusive Man, standing at the head of the Council Chambers whilst the other Councillors kneeled.
To make things worse, none of the guys would leave me alone. I explained to them that I had a boyfriend, but that did nothing to push them away. I was going to punch one of them before Rikki showed up and took me away.
We spent the whole night together talking about our findings and Nate, Kaidan, Thane, the Citadel and whatever came to our minds
Log- July 31st 2190
We were on shore leave again and this time I met up with Major Kyle. The major told me that the final preparations were taking place and the counter-offensive would happen soon. Sam and Kasumi had given them vital info on Ilos that we could use.
We were only going to have one shot at this so it had to count. He also gave me a communications scrambler designed by the Alliance for the plan. Timing was everything and we needed move quickly and effectively. When that day comes, it's all or nothing.
He also gave me a little card. When I opened it it said,
Happy Birthday to Me!
I knew my brother was weird but this… it makes me miss him even more
Log- October 10th 2190
It's Go Time!