CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"
Author: Michelle Heath
Rating: MA for adult situations and language
Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.
Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!
Date Written: March 3, 2013
(Sam's anxiety level only increases when she sees Steve's truck already in the driveway because of the way they parted company earlier in the afternoon. Sitting in her car a moment after shutting off the ignition, Sam rests her head against the headrest, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath in an effort to get herself under some semblance of control. In her mind's eye, she clearly sees the hurt that was present in her husband's eyes as she drove away from him outside the base hospital and tears spring to her own eyes as her heart twists painfully at the knowledge that she caused that hurt. That she deliberately inflicted pain on the man she loves only intensifies her feelings of guilt and causes the knot that has formed in her stomach to grow. Knowing that she can't sit in her car all night, Sam grabs her cover and briefcase and heads into the house. Closing the front door behind her, Sam drops her cover and briefcase on a chair just inside the door and heads upstairs to change. The house is silent and she wonders why because Emily usually comes running to meet her Mommy as soon as the little girl hears the door open. Deciding that Emily and Steve are either out on the back deck or down at the beach, Sam quickly goes into her and Steve's bedroom, changes into a pair of jeans and a sleeveless tee shirt and heads downstairs and outside. Emily is nowhere in sight, but Steve is standing at the deck railing looking out at the sun dropping down over the ocean. Cautiously, Sam walks up beside him but keeps a couple of feet between them. Steve doesn't say anything for a few minutes and Sam feels fear begin to invade her senses. Finally, when she is just about to come out of her skin, he acknowledges her presence.)
"Emily is at your parents' house, Sam; she's spending the night there. You and I are going to talk. I have questions that you are going to answer; no evading the issue and no changing the subject."
"Sounds more like an interrogation to me, Steve."
"Call it what you want, but I have questions that I need answers to and you are the only person who can give me those answers."
"And if I don't?"
"If you won't talk to me, Sam, and honestly answer the questions I need answered, then I guess you don't really love me after all. People who truly love each other are open and honest with one another and they don't hide things. You're hiding something from me, Sam, and I want, I need to know what that something is before it destroys both of us; before it destroys our daughter."
(Steve finally turns to face Sam as he utters these last words and she sees a look in his eyes that causes sheer panic to race along her spine. Her heart is in her throat because she has no doubt that Steve is deadly serious about everything he's said to her. As Sam begins to tremble and turn several shades paler, Steve wants desperately to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly. He desperately wants to tell her that everything will be all right. He wants to wipe the fear and uncertainty he sees in her eyes away, but he knows that, as much as it's killing him to put her through this, he has to do it for all their sakes.)
"What is it you want to know, Steve?"
"I want to know why you feel guilty about your parent's deaths."
"Does Capt. Stewart know about this? Does he know that you're demanding answers to questions I'm not ready to give?"
"Why aren't you ready, Sam?"
"Does. Capt. Stewart. Know?"
"No. I did go back up to his office and talk with him after you left the hospital this afternoon, but he doesn't know we're having this conversation right now."
"I distinctly remember Capt. Stewart telling us, and Mom and Dad, that he wanted to talk with them tomorrow morning, you at 1300 hours, and then me when I got off-duty tomorrow afternoon. I also remember hearing him clearly say that, although he had more questions, he thought those questions would be better dealt with in individual sessions. Why are you doing this, Steve? Why aren't you willing to wait until we've all talked with Capt. Stewart individually?"
"Because I've been existing in a living Hell lately, Sam, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you hurt Emily, too!"
(Steve's vehemently uttered words cut Sam to the core and she visibly flinches as if he'd slapped her. She has turned completely white and is shaking like a leaf as pain and fear, far worse than any she has ever felt before, seize her heart. Steve, apparently realizing that he's, perhaps, gone too far in his quest to get to the bottom of what's wrong with his wife, takes a step in Sam's direction, but she takes several steps back and throws both her hands palm up in a defensive manner. Then, before he can say a word, Sam spins around and runs into the house. Steve is right behind her, but she beats him to their bedroom, races into their walk-in closet, grabs a small suitcase, and begins to throw some clothes and her toiletries into it without sparing him a glance. Standing in the middle of their bedroom with his hands on his hips, Steve watches in disbelief as she quickly steps into the bathroom and returns with her toothbrush and a few more necessary items and tosses them into the suitcase, as well. Finally, she zips the suitcase closed, grabs it and a clean uniform out of the closet, and nearly runs down the stairs. Snatching her cover and briefcase from the chair where she'd left them only minutes earlier, Sam throws open the front door and strides determinedly to her car. Having followed her downstairs asking her what she was doing numerous times without receiving a reply, Steve feels icy tendrils of fear start to slither up his spine as it finally sinks into his brain that his wife is leaving him. Catching up to her as she tosses her things into the car, Steve gently grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him."
"What are you doing, Sam? Where are you going?"
"Take you hand off my arm, Steve! Now!"
"Sam, don't do this!"
"Now, Steve!"
(And not wanting to make the situation any worse than it already is, Steve releases her arm and watches helplessly as Sam gets into her car and leaves without saying another word. His first impulse is to get in his truck and follow her, but he's pretty sure he knows where she's headed. Besides, he's now shaking so badly himself that he's incapable of driving anywhere safely. Flying back into the house, he grabs his cellular phone from the kitchen counter and hits a speed dial desperately trying to slow his breathing to a point where he won't pass out while waiting for his call to be answered.)