It takes us awhile to calm our children down; Peeta brings Rye to me so I can sing him to sleep (sometimes it's the only thing that makes him go to sleep) and while he carries him back to the nursery, Willow climbs into bed with me and clings to my waist. When Peeta returns, he climbs up behind her and strokes her hair. Our little girl refuses to fall asleep until she is safely nestled between her father and me. When we hear her soft snores, Peeta smiles over her head and reaches over to stroke my cheek.

"We make a good team, Katniss."

"Mmmhm. Always have." His smile fades and he bites his lip. I raise my brow and wait for the question

"Katniss…why haven't you told me that story sooner?"

"What story?" His brows rise high into his hair and I sigh. Why haven't I told him about his brother saving me sooner? Probably because I was too ashamed. I'd tried to block that night from my mind…I don't know why I've suddenly started having dreams about that again.

"I didn't…think it was a big deal." Now he looks incredulous.

"Not a big…Katniss, my brother…my brother basically saved you from being-" his eyes fly downwards to our sleeping daughter and he mouths the word 'raped'. "How is that not a big deal?!" I wince at his sharp tone.

"Ok Peeta, I didn't mean that it wasn't a big deal but a lot happened to me when I was young, I don't think it's necessary to tell you every horrible detail about my life."

"Well that's a pretty big omission of your life," he scoffs. "I didn't even know that you and Ryean ever spoke and now I find out that he took you to the Slag Heap."

"We never did anything, Peeta!"

"I know that," he says softly. "But Ryean…he always knew how I felt about you," his expression softens and he takes a deep breath. "He always looked out for me. I just know, if he was telling you about his Merchant friends who were willing to take you for a wife…he was testing the waters for me. He was finding out, for me, if you would be interested in marriage. Because if you had told him you were, he would have come straight to me and told me to ask you. I know it. And I never got to thank him for that. For all the things he did for me. He protected you, Katniss. I mean…he was a decent guy, he wouldn't have let that happen to anyone but he saved you for me. He knew…knew how devastated I would be if…if that had happened to you…and he put himself out there, for me." He sniffles and I reach over to wipe his tears away with my thumb. He grabs my hand and brings his lips to my knuckles.

"Imagine, Katniss. If I had just confessed my love to you when we were younger. I could have taken care of you and your sister and mother. A baker's wife wouldn't go hungry. She wouldn't have to risk her life in the woods for food. If I wasn't such a coward, your life could have been so different. Maybe even happy."

"Oh Peeta," I lean over my daughter so I can kiss him. I glance downwards at her to make sure she is still sleeping, and his eyes follow mine. "There you go again, playing the what- if game. We're together now, love. We're together and happy. My life is very happy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your brother sooner but Seam people don't do well with any kind of charity and we feel that once we owe a debt, we are obligated to pay it. And I never got to repay him. So I was ashamed and didn't want you to know that I feel guilty because I never really got to thank him or repay him."

"That's what you meant in the Games, wasn't it? When you talked about Thresh letting you go because he didn't want you to owe you anything?" I stare at him in shock. HOW many years has it been and he still remembers that?!

"You have a remarkable memory." He smiles sadly.

"You've said that to me before."

"Real," I nod. He nods too and sits up a little.

"And you thought I was too dim to understand that concept."

"I didn't think you were too dim," I argue. "I just had a misconstrued view of life for the Merchant class. I didn't know you suffered, just like me."

"And that's when you told me you would never get over owing me for the bread."

"Mmhm. But then I asked you why you did it. You never answered me though."

"You know why, Katniss." I stare at him. He said that very thing to me, so many years ago in that dreary cave, and I'd been frustrated because I just thought he was avoiding the question. I had no idea then…

"Because you loved me."

"Always have, always will," he whispers as he pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "And that's why you've never owed me anything. Because I was selfishly saving your life, for me. I wanted you as my wife one day."

"I don't think that's very selfish," I chuckle lightly. He smiles.

"You don't owe us anything, Katniss. Doing the right thing isn't charity or a debt to be repaid. Ryean and I both saved you in different ways…and that's because we had to. Not because we thought you would pay us back somehow. Though I wish I had kicked Ryean in the balls for taking your bra." I laugh and shake my head.

"It's ok. It was a ragged old thing anyway."

"I remember," he mumbles and my eyes widen.

"You…he gave it to you?!" He flushes red and I can feel my cheeks redden.

"Brothers are weird, Katniss. Be glad you didn't have any."

"Well Prim and I definitely didn't gossip as much as you and your brothers did. I guess it's a good thing that your brothers took it upon themselves to educate you."

"More like I was a horrible eavesdropper and heard them talking about what they did on their dates," he flushes even redder. "But it came in handy, didn't it?" He winks and I laugh.

"You're terrible."

"But you love me." He lays his head next to Willow's and reaches over to stroke my cheek. I smile as my eyes close.

"That I do."

Rye is over a year old now and is looking more like Peeta each day. When he was almost 4 months old, all of his hair fell out and Peeta and I positively panicked. Annie rushed over and assured us our son was fine, and it was something common called 'cradle cap'. I didn't stop panicking for weeks, though, until the rash went away completely. I was shocked and delighted when his hair started to grow back…much finer than it had been. At a year old, my little Rye had the bounciest golden curls I have ever seen. It still tugs my heart when Peeta picks him up and holds him close; they look so much alike and I am always running my fingers through his fair curls, as I always do with his father's.

Our little boy skipped crawling altogether and went straight into walking. I'm grateful that Peeta was home when it happened.

Willow's playing with her brother on their musical mat, while Peeta is in the kitchen finishing up the dishes. I lean against the couch, watching my children with a broad smile on my face, when my husband enters the room and leans down to give me a kiss.

"Dessert is almost ready," he says as he lays his head in my lap. My fingers gently stroke his curls and he sighs against my leg. Willow giggles and presses one of the buttons.

"That one, Rye! Yay! Good job baby brother!" I feel Peeta's smile against my skin and I smile at my children. Willow flops onto her stomach and lays in front of her brother. She makes funny faces at him, causing him to emit shrill giggles. He rolls around for a moment and struggles to sit up. Willow sits up with him and holds her arms out. Rye's tiny hands clutch the couch as he pulls himself up and Willow squeals.

"Rye! Come here, baby!" Peeta sits straight up and his jaw drops.

"Katniss," he says quietly. We watch our son take his first tentative step toward his sister, before he falls on his bottom and starts to cry. Willow rushes over to him and wraps her arms around him.

"Shh, shh, it's ok. Sissy is here. Sissy will watch over you." Our daughter croons in our son's ear and she pulls him to his feet again. Peeta slides off the couch and into the floor and crawls toward Rye.

"Hey buddy, what ya doing? Are you walking? Are you walking with your sister?"

"Daddy, look at him," Willow giggles. Peeta laughs and holds his arms out, letting out a cry of delight when Rye walks toward him. He only gets a few steps before he crashes to his knees but he doesn't stay down for long; several attempts and he is walking straight into Peeta's arms. Tears roll down Peeta's handsome face as he kisses Rye's chubby cheeks and Willow climbs into his lap as well.

"Let's go attack Mommy with kisses," I hear him mutter in a low voice and I squeal when they jump onto the couch and Willow throws her arms around me. Rye reaches up and touches my face and I kiss his little fingers.

"My big boy is walking! Willow what a great big sister you are!" Peeta's eyes meet mine and they are filled with tears and love. He mouths 'I love you' over our son's head. I return his smile as I pull our daughter into my lap.

Now Rye is 18 months and we are getting ready to celebrate our little girl's 6th birthday in just over a month! I don't know where the time has gone but it certainly has passed! Peeta doesn't go into the bakery as much anymore; Rory has essentially taken over and he is now teaching his new wife how to run the front. Peeta decided before Rye turned a year old that he wanted to spend more time at home with his family. I can't say I'm too disappointed by this change. I love having him home when Willow gets home and the whole family gathers in the living room to color or play games or just enjoy one another's company. Sometimes others will join us, like Grandpa Haymitch and Mimi Effie, who absolutely loves to hold Rye. Annie will come over often, as does her son who checks on his mother often. Analise comes over sometimes when Finn is working in the school (he has become their official physical education instructor and coaches swimming and water aerobics) and asks to hold Rye; I guess she needs to practice because she is nearly five months along now. Johanna has come to vist a few times, bringing Aran, Brody, and Anna with her while George continues to make fashion news around the districts. Rye gets very jealous when his sister holds Brody and Peeta laughs as he scoops up our pouting son.

These times of family are wonderful but they're also painful; they bring back memories of loved ones, and make me wish for more times spent with those loved ones. We've lost so many along the way and it's a harder lesson to learn, every time. When we lost Sae, that was particularly hard. She went peacefully in her sleep at a very ripe old age but she was still family to us. Peeta still sketches his brothers and tells Rye about the uncle he is named for.

While Willow is at school, Peeta and I sit on the floor and play with Rye; he loves the musical mat that his sister still loves to play with. When the phone rings, I leave the boys to go answer it.

When I come back, I am pale and shaking and Peeta's smile fades when he sees me.

"Honey?" When I don't answer, he jumps to his feet and comes toward me.

"Katniss? What's wrong?"

"That was…Paylor on the phone." His brow furrows while he waits for me to continue but I don't think I can. I swallow a few times and shake my head. He leads me over to the couch to sit down and rubs my back gently.

"What did she say?"

"She wanted…she talked about the election."

"OK. What about it?"

"She was outvoted." He gasps and his circles on my back cease.

"So who is President?"

"Runyon Ballyntyn won by a landslide." All color leaves his cheeks and he leans into me, our arms wrapping around each other and holding back tears.

Ballyntyn is from District 2 and comes from a family of peacekeepers. He was Pro-Capitol during the War and apparently was instrumental in Commander Lyme's death. Not only that, Ballyntyn was suspected and tried in a case in which large amounts of tracker-jacker venom were smuggled into the district. Although nothing was ever proven, Paylor still believed he was involved.

"I don't understand," I cry softly. "How could he win? I thought Panem changed. I thought…we were free."

"Shh," he tries to soothe me. "We don't know what kind of president he will be. Let's just wait and see what happens. Don't panic about it until we see what he does. Panem HAS changed. They still recognize us as the ones who changed the world. The people won't let it go back to the way things were." Suddenly, something clenches onto my heart and refuses to let go. The image of us standing around the Square while a young Capitol woman reaches into a bowl and pulls out my childrens' names.

I start to hyperventilate and can't register what he is saying. I clutch his leg, my nails digging into his flesh. I vagely notice his hands gripping my shoulders and shaking me.

"Katniss, snap out of it! Please baby, breathe! Focus on my voice! Focus on me, Katniss!"

"Peeta, is everything ok?"

"She's having a panic attack! Effie, bring me some water please!"

"Shit she looks like she is going into shock! Katniss! Can you hear me girl?"

"Haymitch, take Rye out of here please!"

"Effs, take the baby. Katniss! Come on, girl, look at us!"

"Slapping her isn't helping, Haymitch!"

"And your way is so much better?"

"Damn it. Katniss! Come on sweetheart, just look at me!" I blink and try to focus on him. His blurry shape starts to clear and I blink several times. His hands hold my cheeks firmly and Haymitch is splashing water in my face. I try to shake my head but Peeta's hold is too tight.

"Stop," I command and Peeta lets out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping forward as he pulls my head against his chest.

"Thank God. You're ok, Katniss. We're all ok. Just breathe, honey. Breathe and focus on my voice." I squeeze my eyes shut and listen to his heart beat under my ear.

"Here, take a drink." He helps me tip the glass back and I sip at the water. It spills down my chin and he hurriedly wipes it away with his thumb.

"You wanna tell me why your wife wasn't breathing when we came over," Haymitch says sharply. Peeta glances at me and I wipe at my mouth.

"Paylor just called her."

"Ah. Then you've heard." I turn to him sharply.

"You knew? And you didn't tell us?"

"Sweetheart I just got the call before you. Paylor was calling all the Victors, to give us a heads up. Annie went into hysterics and we had to calm her down before we came over."

"It'll be fine, won't it Haymitch? I mean…the districts won't let it get bad again," Peeta even sounds uncertain and it makes me start to panic again.

"I don't know kid," he sighs. "I wish I could say we've learned our lesson and we'll be just fine but…as Plutarch said when the war ended, "we're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction." I shiver as he quotes the former game-maker's words. Peeta frowns and looks from me to Haymitch.

"But Panem is better! We have worked hard to get where we are…we're not just going to let one man tear all that apart, are we?"

"Look if you're asking me do I think this guy is going to try to erect the Arenas and start sending kids to their deaths again, then no I don't think that. But I don't think things will be as peaceful as they were with Paylor. I don't have a clue why he won but Paylor called us to give us all a heads up, to prepare. If he tries to do anything that Snow would have done, he'll have the Victors to answer to."

"I don't need another War, Haymitch," I sob. "I just want to keep my children safe."

All I wanted was to save my sister, and keep Peeta alive.

I gasp in realization, as I hear my own words echoing inside my head. Peeta and Haymitch watch me warily. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I slip backwards and all I register is someone crying out my name before everything goes black.

Peeta begs and pleads with me not to slip into my old ways. Those days of deep depression crushing me into oblivion and not leaving the bed for days or weeks at a time still haunt him and I know he's terrified it will happen any day now. But for the sake of my children as well as my husband, I force myself to get out of bed and go on about my day.

The week before Willow's birthday, we receive an official looking letter in the mail. Peeta raises his brow and points to the seal.

It's the new presidential seal, that looks alarmingly familiar to Snow's seal.

Peeta tears it open and his eyes scan the page. He swallows and Haymitch holds out his hand to read it. When he does, his scowl gets even deeper. I shift Rye to my shoulder and hold out my hand as well.

"Looks like we'll all be taking a little trip," Haymitch says as he folds up the letter.

"Give it here, Haymitch."

"Sweetheart trust me, it's just politics and the attempt to be polite. The new president has requested our presence in the Capitol in next week. All of us," he specifies and my brow furrows as I whip my head around to look at Peeta. His jaw is tightened and his mouth is a thin line.

"The children included," he says softly. I can already see the rage growing in his eyes.

"Why would we take the children to the Capitol?"

"The president extends his warmest greetings to the Mockingjay and her family and begs for the chance to meet such distinguished members of society. As the first born of the Mockingjay is approaching a birthday, it is only fitting that a party be thrown in her honor," Haymitch reads aloud before crumbling it in his fist and finging it to the side in disgust. Effie sets a hand on his shoulder and he grumbles something.

"If he wants to meet us so badly, he can just come to 12," I say with a scowl.

"You know it doesn't work that way, Katniss," Effie says gently. Peeta works his jaw. Without a word, he holds out his arms toward me and I silently pass our sleeping son over to him. Peeta's hand cradles Rye's head as he gets up and heads into the living room. Haymitch sighs and stands as well.

"Haymitch, do we have to go?"

"Sweetheart, we don't want to get on this guy's bad side. Let's just play nice right now and not give him any reason to get mad at us. You think you can do that?" He gently pats my cheek and gestures for Effie to follow him. I can hear them saying goodbye to Peeta and I sigh as I sink further into the table.