Chapter 38
After... I don't know how long... I finally decided to turn back.
It was well dark by now, I had been running for... Hours.
Hours and hours and hours and hours.
I just wanted to escape it all.
Just for a little while.
Only a small while and then I'd turn back.
And now, I agreed to myself, was time to turn back.
Slowly coming to a stop, I glanced around, taking in my surroundings.
I was... Where was I again?
I frowned and glanced around, my eyes resting on a sign post a few feet away.
Friarscross Way.
That was... That was in Aylesbury, wasn't it?
Huh.
That was a good 4, or 5, hours walk from where I lived...
... Should better get a move on then, shouldn't I?
I killed him.
I killed a man in cold blood.
Murdered him.
With a gun given to me by MI6.
The same gun I almost killed Ash with.
Before I knew he was safe.
On the good side.
On my side.
Not the good side.
Not the good side...
But...
Not the bad side either...
I was on nobodies side.
No-mans land.
Alone.
So, so, alone.
I stared at the door for I don't know how long.
Just stared.
And stared.
And stared.
At the door that led into my house.
Inside to the place where I grew up.
The same door that Jack and Ian and probably my parents even, had opened time and time and time again before they all died.
The same door that I had let two policemen through, barely a year before, who informed me of Ian's death.
And the same door I had stepped out through, on the way to his funeral.
It was only then I realised how cold it was.
Shaking violently, I slowly reached forward, pushing open the door.
It swung in easily.
I took a step inside, silently closing the same door behind me.
"Cubs back!".
I sharply turned to the source of the noise, only to have Eagle come running down the stairs.
"Eagle" Someone snapped, and I frowned, watching as Snake and Wolf emerge from the sitting room.
The Medic shot him a glare before turning to me, "... Are you ok?".
Am I ok?
Was I ok?
Why was he asking?
Was it... Important?
To know how I was?
Cause I didn't know how I was.
I was everything...
... Yet I was nothing.
He smiled slightly, "If your going to lie, at least make it believable".
I frowned again, confused and he sighed, "Come on, you're shivering. Get upstairs, go for a shower, and put on some warm clothes. Then come back down and we'll make something to eat, yea?".
I slowly nodded, and turned towards the stairs, gripping onto the banister for support as I numbly found my way up.
But I could still hear the others talking.
"Is he ok?".
"Cubs gonna be alright, ain't he?".
"Eagle, I just... I just don't know".
"How can you not know? You're the Medic on this team, Snake. You have to know".
"But I don't. Ok? I've never dealt with this before. From what I gather, he's still in shock. It's not everyday you shoot and kill somebody".
"He's done it before. He's a spy".
"That doesn't mean he's killed Wolf. I doubt he's even picked up a gun twice asides from this. MI6 are stupid, but they're not stupid enough to arm him".
"So... This was the first he's killed someone?".
"Most likely... And that would have a damaging effect on anyone, not to mind a 15 year old whose best friends life was just threatened".
"Yea, but, what about th-".
I just blocked them out from there.
I was cold.
I was numb.
And I was tired.
So, so tired.
I just wanted to find a thick wooly blanket and curl up in some corner where no one would ever find me again.
Where MI6 and SCORPIA wouldn't bother me.
Where nobody else would bother me at all.
And I'd be alone.
So, so alone.
About 20 minutes later, I found myself slowly walking back down to the others.
Surprisingly enough, Snake was still waiting at the bottom of the stairs, just by the door of the sitting room.
He smiled when he saw me, "You alright?".
I ignored the question, instead, asking one of my own, "How is he?".
It didn't take much to figure out I was talking about Tom.
"Shaken up. But he will live... What about you?" Snake tried again.
"What about me?".
He paused, "Well... You're slightly young to kill aren't you? I would have thought you would have had a total and complete breakdown by now".
"Yea. Well. It's not like it's my first time doing something unexpected" I muttered.
"... Have you killed before?" He asked suddenly and I frowned, "Once".
"And that was...?".
"Less than a month ago" I replied, "My twin. A clone. It was either me or him... And something that evil didn't deserve to live".
"It doesn't make you a bad person you know. For killing in self-defence" He said quietly.
I remained silent.
"So, come on, what do you want to eat?" He asked a few minutes later, gently guiding me towards the kitchen.
I frowned.
What did I want to eat?
As in... Food?
But I didn't want any food...
"I'm not hungry" I said quietly.
He stopped, and walked around to face me, "... It's 5am".
I stared at him.
He sighed, "The last time you ate was... Over 36 hours ago. Normal people would be starving by now".
I shrugged, "But I'm not normal, am I?".
He shook his head at me, "No. You're not. But you're still human. And humans have to eat on a regular bases".
"Now you're making me feel like a science experiment" I muttered and he sighed, before once again pushing me towards the kitchen, "Go on. In you go. I'm going to force you to eat something if I have to".
I glanced up on him.
He had a steely, determined look on his face.
He was serious.
"Pineapple?".
I nodded.
"Pineapple?".
I nodded again.
He gave a really weird yet confused and slightly scared look, "... Pineapple?".
"Yes Snake, pineapple" I replied sighing, "You said as long as I ate something, I could chose what that something would be".
"Yes, I know, but... PINEAPPLE!" He exclaimed, "How can you... Do... You don't... Pineapple?".
"What's so bad about it?" I asked, "I like pineapple, ok?".
"But it's... Just... Random" He finished lamely, "I wasn't expecting you to name a fruit, that's all. Aren't teenagers meant to love chocolate and crisps and ice-cream and all those other bad junk foods?".
"They are".
"Then why..." He trailed off confused and I sighed, "Snake. Yes, or no? Can I have my pineapple?".
He stared at me, "... Sure".
"Great" I replied grinning, wandering over to the kitchen counter and grabbing the single fruit on it.
Next I got the chopping bored, a knife, and a bowel, and began preparing the 5:30am meal.
The whole time, the medic stared at me, but it wasn't until I was done, did he speak.
"... You are so weird".
"Thank you" I replied, biting down on the pineapple slice, "... What some?".
"No thanks" He replied warily, "Come on, the others are in the sitting room".
Grinning, I picked up my bowl of fruit and followed him back down the hall, before abruptly stopping half way there.
Snake glanced back at me, "... Cub?".
I ignored him, and instead, reached down and slowly picked up the small slip of paper on the ground, next to the broken table.
The clue.