Guys, i'm really sorry to say this is the last chapter. I just wanted to tell you all thanks so much for reviewing and reading, I didn't know when I started writing this story that it would actually get this far! Thanks so much, I finished this last night and cried because it was over. I had so much fun reading all of your reviews and writing this for you all. Again, thanks so much for reading and make sure you read my other stories, I'll be posting new ones all the time now!
And one more thing, this chapter is based off the song "Self Conclusion" by Spill Canvas, so it would really help if you listened to that while reading! Enjoy guys!
"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep and that was really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."
-Ned Vizzini, "It's Kind Of A Funny Story"
James Diamond was living a nightmare. He never expected any of this to happen. Just a few months ago, he was happy. Just a few months ago, he was smiling. Just a few months ago, he was laughing. Just a few months ago, he was himself.
James Diamond used to be one of the most famous superstars around Hollywood. People admired him for being the upbeat, inspiring, self concious member of an incredible and really talented boyband. He was always smiling, always taking it upon himself to go out of his way to talk to his fans and cheer them up when they are feeling down. But this wasn't James Diamond anymore. The James Diamond today, the one sitting in a car driving himself to his own death, was a monster. A lonely soul trapped inside a monstrous infection inside his own mind.
It never hit him that all this would happen to him. It happened to other people, of course, but not to him. It only happened to those who had real problems, not something rich and famous Hollywood stars had to deal with...right?
Tears streamed down his face as he drove. He held back sobs as he drove along the busy L.A road, zipping past crowds of happy and smiling people, and here he was, driving to his grave, a helpless soul crying out for help.
As he drove, he started having second thoughts. Was his life really worth ending? Was killing himself REALLY the answer? He began to doubt himself until he thought about everything that happened the last few months. About how Kyle moved in and took everything away from him, how his fans started to leave him, how his friends turned on him, how he started cutting, how he couldn't sleep, how he attempted suicide, how things got worse and worse and worse as the months dragged on. Someone died in an accident he knew he caused. Victoria hated him, she never loved him. She only cared about herself. Carlos started cutting. It was all his fault fault fault fault fault fault fault.
James screamed and pounded his fists against the steering wheel. That was it, he had enough. He slammed his foot against the gas pedal and drove faster towards his destination. No turning back now, he was going to do it: he was finally going to end his own life, once and for all. And nothing was going to hold him back this time.
People jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge all the time. Almost all of them died. The only ones who never really died were the ones who went feet first. That's perfect, James thought as he got closer and closer. He'd fall backwards off the Golden Gate Bridge, watching the life he hated so much get farther and farther away as his new life got closer and closer. It would be perfect. It would be...beautiful.
It was growing darker and darker outside by the minute, like the darkness was crawling up behind James, pouncing on him, surrounding him like the terrible nightmares that clouded his mind. Beautiful, he thought. No one would be around. No one would see him do it. No one would stop him. Just perfect.
Tears streamed down his face as he drove past the endless amounts of smiling, happy people. They all had pasts, they all had stories they kept hidden behind fake smiles and steel walls, they all had secrets. But no one knew James'. No one knew what he was about to do, no one knew his destination, his intentions. But soon, they would. And it would be too late. He'd be dead by the time they find out.
He swallowed hard. So this is it, he thought. This really was his last night. There would be no more hockey. No more playing video games with the guys. No more Roque Records. No more goofing off during school. No more singing. No more dancing. No more hugging fans at meet and greets. No more Big Time Rush...
No, you stop it. Don't feel, don't feel. Don't feel anything. Shut everything out, and whatever you do, don't feel.
He wiped his eyes and gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He had to do this, this was something he needed to do. The world would be so much better off without him. The Rushers could just as easily love a band of three instead of four. The Rushers...God, he'd miss them.
Don't you dare feel, James, don't you fucking dare.
As he got closer and closer to his destination, closer and closer to his grave, he started thinking about what life would be like once he was gone. Like, what would Kendall, Carlos and Logan do? Carlos...he never talked to Carlos after he stormed out of the apartment. That would be the last memory he would ever have with Carlos...who would take care of him...or the other guys...
Stop it, James thought to himself. The guys can take care of each other, they don't need me. They're strong, they can get through anything together. Kendall and Logan would help Carlos through his depression, they'd help him get over me. Maybe me being dead will help Carlos heal. All of his stress would disappear, probably, since I cause it.
Finally, he saw it. The faint outline of the Golden Gate Bridge came into view, and anxiety arose inside James like he never felt before. As the sky grew darker, the bridge seemed to light up like a bright, warm, welcoming invitation. James locked his eyes on it, his final destination, and suddenly all of his fears and troubles vanished. As he got closer, he started to feel...happier, almost like everything had just took off and disappeared for good. He was starting to feel excited and anxious at the same time. Finally, he thought. It will all be over. In just an hour it will all be over.
"I don't know where he's at." Kendall said, pacing back and forth across the apartment. He clutched his cell phone tightly in his hands, attempting to dial James' number for probably the thousandth time in the last five minutes. Mrs. Knight and Katie sat with Logan on the couch, both of their arms wrapped around the younger girl. As tough as Katie was, this scared her. She was scared, scared for James and also for Carlos. No one has heard from either of them in several hours, and everyone was starting to grow extremely concerned. Everyone had begun to panic at this point.
"This is starting to scare me." Logan said. "They both turned off their cell phones and nobody has seen them."
"Maybe they're together, maybe they are with each other and they are talking and working things out and everything is ok..." Kendall started to lie to himself. He knew something was wrong, he knew James was in danger, possibly Carlos too, and if they didn't do something soon, there was a chance there could be one less member in the band. Everyone knew the obvious, it happened the last time James disappeared like this.
"I can't even imagine where they'd be at. I mean, we asked everyone at the Palm Woods if they have seen them, and nobody has." Mrs. Knight said, wrapping her arm tighter around Katie. "What if they left the Palm Woods?"
"Where would they go?" Kendall asked. He pulled at his hair after his latest attempt at calling James failed. "Lord only knows where James went, at least. He could be anywhere. I hate to say it, it kills me inside to say it, my tongue burns when I do, but lately James will do anything or go anywhere to kill himself, what if that's where he went? What if he already did?"
Everyone sucked in a breath and an eerie silence followed Kendall's words. What if he was right? What if James really had killed himself and they just didn't know? He could be anywhere...what if they would never find him?
"Someone's gotta do something fast." Katie said. She wiped a tear from her eye. "Or we might not ever see James ever again...maybe even Carlos."
Everyone was silent. Now, it really hit them. Could it really be true? Carlos was probably hiding somewhere, he always did that when he was upset. Carlos always stayed away from everyone until he calmed down, but James didn't. With everything James was going through, could it really be possible that he had committed suicide this time?
The cars seemed to disappear as James pulled up to the bridge. More isolated he seemed to become as he got nearer and nearer to his final resting place. He swallowed hard as he parked his car just before the bridge began. He sat in the car for several minutes, looking out over the seemingly never ending bridge, then at the dark waters raging below the magnificent structure. It would be an almost 250 foot drop.
A tear actually managed to push it's way through James' eye and slip down his cheek. Hundreds of cars zipped past him, all of them going home to their families, to work, or just enjoying the ride. James watched them each as they each passed him, some talking on the phone, some laughing, talking with other people in their vehicle, each of them being happy. And no one knew.
James took a deep breath and grabbed hold of the door handle. It took him several more minutes to muster up the courage to actually open the door. Once he did, the wind immediatly began beating against his face, and the smell of the ocean water just feet in front of him whipped through the air along with the wind, the smell and sound of waves crashing against rocks so inviting. James swallowed hard and began the walk to his grave.
The air turned cold as he walked,and he folded his arms as he got further and further away from his car. James walked slow, staring at his feet most of the time, a million different things running through his mind. It was starting to actually hit him that he was so close to his death, that in an hour he would be dead and gone and everything would be better. He tried to control his sobs with each step he took. He looked up amd saw the distant city, shining so brightly on the other side of the bay, and tears slipped down James' face. God, how he'd miss everyone.
But he knew he had to forget all of them. He'd have to forget everything and everyone if he was going to do this. He couldn't let himself get attached, he couldn't let himself feel, he had to let everything go. He had to say goodbye, had to let them all vanish from his mind within these next several moments. Goodbye...he never told them goodbye. As James walked, the cold wind beating even more violently against his face and the light from the dark bridge shining down on his path, he remembered he never told anyone goodbye. No suicide note, nothing, not even a word. The last memory he'd have with them is argument, with his brothers, his whole family.
He pushed his hair back and cried. Where did it all go wrong? He was always happy, he was always a happy child, always laughing and smiling, singing around the house, playing hockey with his friends, he was always the life of the party. Everyone adored him, he was talented and caring. He wanted to be a popstar and he made his dream come true. He was living his dream with his brothers, but that dream soon turned to a nightmare and it all became too much for him. As James switched from the good times to the bad, he grew increasingly angry. Hate, he thought, he couldn't describe his life in any other word except hate. He kept walking, never stopping, his insides screaming to move his feet faster, so he could escape this whole,fucked up place called life.
James walked for a long time, just thinking about everything. He thought about his childhood, about all the happy memories he had, about going to school with Kendall, Carlos and Logan, about the pranks they used to pull on people, about all the good times on the hockey team they had. A smile escaped his lips and he actually gave a small laugh, remembering their prank wars and playing video games and hockey in the apartment and smashing through walls at the studio and going on strike and getting to Hollywood and winning music video awards together and laughing and smiling and just being themselves and...
No, stop. Too fast, too soon, too much.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, he reached midpoint of the bridge. He stopped at the railing and placed his hands on the cold metal, the darkness around him seeming to close in. Here, he thought, this will be it.
He leaned against the railing and looked down below him. A 250 foot drop to the dark waters, a 250 foot long drop. The waves were strong and violent tonight, it would surely kill him, he thought. Instantly. That's what he wanted. No chances of survival.
His hands gripped the bar so tightly his knuckles turned white. The wind beat against his face violently as a light from the bridge shined down on him, illuminating his lonely little spot. He swallowed hard and gripped the bar tighter. All he had to do was climb over, just step over this bar and fling himself downward. Then, finally, it would all be over, all the pain and suffering he was feeling, he'd be through with it all and he'd finally be at peace.
He took a deep breath and let out a loud scream, the wind carrying away his voice into the unknown. He lowered his head and took deep breaths, his heart beating faster and faster with each passing second. He was just seconds away from happiness, just seconds away from ending it all. He kept telling himself that soon everything would be all right, that soon everything would finally be resolved.
As he began to climb over the railing, something hit him. He never told Kendall, Carlos or Logan goodbye. He'd never talk to them again, never tell them how much they mean to him, nothing ever again. As much as his mind protested against him doing this, James slowly pulled his phone out of his pocket and, seeing he had 47 missed calls from Kendall, began dialing the last phone calls he'd ever make.
"We need to do something." Kendall said,still pacing back and forth. They had called everybody, went out on the streets and searched, but James was nowhere to be seen, James or Carlos. Everyone was now panicking. This time they really were afraid James had done it.
"I'm calling the police." Mrs. Knight said. As she stood up to get the phone, Kendall's ringtone went off, silencing the entire room. Frantically, he checked the caller ID, and almost passed out when he saw who it was.
"James!" He screamed. "Guys, it's James!" Everyone paused and looked at him, wide eyed. They all scrambled up to where Kendall was standing and listened, desperate ears waiting for a glint of hope.
"James!" Kendall said, almost out of breath. "James, where the hell are you? We're all so worried about you, we're afraid something happened to you...are you ok? What's wrong, where are you at?"
"Calm down, Kendall, I'm alright." James said, his seemingly calm voice echoing through the speaker into everyone's ears. This set everyone at ease, but only for a few seconds, because what he said next sent everyone into a raging panic.
"But I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to you guys."
Everyone was dead silent. They all exchanged wide eyed glances, everyone having thousands of questions but not a single one of them saying a word.
"J-James..." Kendall said, sounding like a small child about to cry. "James...what do you mean? And where are you at?"
They heard James chuckle from the other end of the phone. "It's ok, guys, I'm ok. Or else I will be. I just wanted to tell you all exactly how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate all you've given me over the years. I'll never forget that, and I'll never forget you guys. I promise it wasn't your fault. I love you all. Goodbye."
And the line went dead.
Kendall shook so bad he dropped his phone. Tears poured down everyone's faces. Mrs. Knight threw her hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying, and Katie buried her head into Logan's shirt.
"No..." Kendall said, staring straight ahead. He collapsed onto the floor, his knees banging against the wood so hard a sharp pain shot up his body, but he honestly didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.
Logan wiped a tear from his eye. But then an idea hit him. "Wait a minute." He said. He bent down and picked up Kendall's phone, opening James' phone call notification.
"What are you doing?" Kendall asked. Katie helped him stand up as Logan frantically typed away.
"Checking the location." He replied. "If we can figure out where this call came from, we might possibly get there in time...maybe it isn't too late. We might be able to save James after all."
Suddenly everyone was filled with adrenaline. But most importantly, they had their tiny bit of hope return, even if it wasn't much, it was still something.
"Golden Gate Bridge." Logan announced. Everyone else remained silent. "This call came from the Golden Gate Bridge. We need to hurry."
"That's like, an hour away, Logan, we'll never make it in time." Kendall said.
"10 minutes if we hurry our assess. Let's go, Kendall."
"We're coming too." Mrs. Knight said, but Kendall placed a hand on her shoulder.
"We need you two to stay here." He said. "In case either one of them comes back or calls, ok? Let us know if anything happens. We promise, when we come back here, we'll have James, andeverything will be ok." And with that, Kendall and Logan dashed out of the apartment and hopped into Logan's car, speeding away so fast and violently like they had never done before. As they began their drive to the Golden Gate, they just prayed to God it wasn't too late.
James cried for the longest time as he stood there, his hands getting numb from gripping the metal bars so hard. His tears fell into the raging dark waters below him, and, with hands shaking and entire body trembling along with them, he placed one foot on the railing, then another and again and again until he was climbing over the railing onto the other side, his hands gripping the bars the only thing keeping him from plummmeting to his death.
And he stood like that for the longest time, his mind arguing with himself that he should let go now. He tried to loosen his grip, but the rest of his body just wouldn't let him. The raging waves crashing into the rocks below him were so welcoming, so inviting, his new life just seconds below him. It was a 250 foot drop with a four second fall. Four seconds, he thought. Four seconds and it could all be over.
He clung to the bars so hard he thought his body would go limp and that was how he'd fall off. The wind was now beating so violently against his face he thought he'd be blown back over the railing and onto the sidewalk. He looked around. No one was there, not a single soul in sight. Like he has been for as long as he could remember, he was all alone. No one was there to stop him, no one was there to change his mind. Alone. He was all alone.
His hands shook so badly he thought it would cause the bridge to collapse. No more, no more thinking about it, no more thinking about anything. Just let go and move on. Release your hands, let go, and finally be free.
Kendall and Logan came to a skidding stop when they noticed a car parked just at the start of the bridge. They jumped out and ran over to it. "It's Mrs. Knight's car!" Logan shouted over the wind. "James must've driven it here!"
Both boys inspected the car, looked for any signs of life, but found none. James was no where in sight. The panic inside of them grew even more intense as they kept desperately looking around them for any sign of human life.
"What if he did it already? What if he did it and we're too late?" Logan asked. Before Kendall could say anything, they heard car tires come to a squealing stop right behind them. They turned, and were shocked to see Carlos jump out of the front seat and run over to them. By the look on his face and his red, puffy eyes, they could tell he had been crying.
"Carlos?!" Kendall shouted. He ran to him and threw his arms around him, squeezing him into a tight hug. "What the hell? Where have you been? Why are you here?!" Kendall asked, looking into the panicked boy's eyes. It took Carlos several moments before he could find the words to say something.
"James..." He finally managed to say, catching his breath. He took a deep breath and continued. "James called me...he said he was sorry he inflicted all this pain on me and he wishes he had time to fix it...he said feet were pleading to leap and that he had no other choice, then he hung up. I immediately came here."
"We've got no time to lose." Kendall said. "James is somewhere on this bridge, and if he didn't jump yet, he probably will soon. We need to hurry, and fast." Kendall ran to the car. "Everyone jump in. We can't waste a single second."
Tears fell down James' face as he locked his eyes on the water below him. His fingers trembled and his legs shook. He kept telling himself to let go, to let go and fall so beautifully to the raging waters below him. They seemed more inviting now then anything this world had to offer him.
I'll count backwards from ten, he thought. After that, I'll go. No excuses, no nothing. I'm going to do it, I'm going to jump. This is it for me.
ten, nine, eight...
He loosened his grip.
Seven, six, five...
He prepared his feet.
Four, three, two...
"I'm so sorry, guys."
One...
"JAMES! STOP!"
James jumped at the voice. He whipped around to see Kendall, Carlos and Logan pull up to the curb, the car squealing to a hard stop as they slammed on the breaks. All three of them jumped out and stood just feet from James.
"Go away." James cried. "I need to do this. None of you guys need me, nobody does. This is something I have to do."
"No, no we need you here!" Kendall said, and he took a step forward. But James moved his feet, and Kendall took a step back. "We really do need you here, James. You're our best friend, we could never live without you."
"You can all live without me. I'm nothing but a bother to all of you. Nobody needs me anymore, so why not just kill myself and end all this suffering? I'm hurting, I'm in pain, I need to feel alive again! But now that's impossible! You all say how much you need me and how much you'll hurt when I die, but what about me? I'm hurting and none of you cared for the longest fucking time about what happened to me, so why care now?"
"We know, and we're sorry." Logan said. James scoffed and turned his back to them, preparing to jump. "But you have no idea what you'll be missing if you jump."
James was silent for several minutes. "I think I do." He said, almost in a whisper. "I've had a lot of time to think."
"We know we haven't been the best of friends to you these last few months, and we feel like assholes for doing this to you, but James, honestly, there's so many things you'll miss and so many people who will miss you! Think of us, who will we get to play hockey with? Hang out with after school? Talk to about how grumpy Gustavo is or pulling pranks on Bitters together? You're our best friend, and all of the good stuff will be gone, we'll never be the same and nobody else will either. It may seem tough now, but if you really try, and I know you don't want to hear this, but if you try it really will get better. But most importantly, think of the Rushers."
James was silent.
"Think of them and how much you change their lives." Carlos piped up. He took a step forward. "Remember all those Rushers you meet? Remember the stories they tell you? A lot of them have been through the same thing you are going through, many of them actually have attempted suicide and have or still do cut themselves, but remember what they said to you? They said you saved their lives, you saved them just by being there and just by being yourself. What do you think will happen to them if you kill yourself, James? If you die, a lot of them will, too. They'll have no one."
James didn't say anything. He looked down and closed his eyes. "They are strong." He said. "I know that. My Rushers are the strongest people in the world, they can handle anything. They will have you guys, you can save them. They can get through anything, I believe in them." James turned to face them, and he gave them a look they would never forget. "And I believe in you guys too." He said. He turned away. "I...I can't do this anymore...I can't think about this...I can't feel anymore...Good...goodbye, guys."
James let go. His feet kicked off the bars and he began to fall. Kendall, Carlos and Logan panicked and rushed forward. They all reached down and grabbed him, instantly before he fell from reach. James kicked and screamed and cried, yelling at them to let him go, but they held on tight, and in just seconds, they managed to pull him over the railing and onto the sidewalk, to safety.
"Let me go, let me go!" James screamed, fighting with the other three to get loose. But they held him down tight, refusing to let go for an instant. "Let me go, let me go! I need to do this, I can't live this life any longer!"
"Calm down, James, calm down." Carlos said. But James refused, and kept trying to fight his way out. So Kendall pinned his arms, Logan pinned his legs, and Carlos sat on his chest and grabbed his face in his hands, looking deep into his eyes.
"Now you listen to me, James." Carlos said, seriousness overtaking his tone. James calmed down, surprised by the sudden change in Carlos' nature. Tears streamed down his face as Carlos began to speak.
"James, you've been through so much these last few months, you've gotten worse and worse as time went on. But it gets better, it really does." Carlos took a deep breath and continued on. "Remember all those times when you were upset as a kid? Remember the time your dad left you guys and you wouldn't come out of your room for days? It took a lot of us convincing and snacks to get you out of there." The corners of his mouth curled into a smile and James almost felt the need to, too. But almost.
"Remember how you felt? Remember how terrible you felt when you said things would never get better? But guess what, they did. Things got better, you just pushed yourself and you got there. Remember the meet and greet a few months ago when that girl walked up to us with all those self injury scars and cuts on her arms and legs? Do you remember what she did. She immediately went straight to you and wrapped her arms around you, and told you that if it wasn't for you, she'd be dead. You changed so many lives, James, you changed all of ours, too...especially mine..."
Carlos paused for a moment. James couldn't process all of this at once. He couldn't hear it and he wouldn't. He refused to. But Carlos went on.
"James, I felt hurt and confused when I started cutting...I felt like the world didn't need me as well. But guess what? You kept me strong, you kept me telling myself that if you could be that strong, then so could I. Think of everybody you touched, and how damaged their lives will be if you jump from this bridge."
Tears rolled down James' face. He didn't know, he didn't know how much he helped people. He guessed that never hit him, how much of an influence he was, how much of an impact he made on so many people.
"You save lives, James." Kendall said. "If it wasn't for you, half of our Rushers wouldn't be alive today."
"He's right." Logan said. "You think about that."
And he did. James thought about all of the people he met and changed, how many people didn't commit suicide because of him just being himself, how many stopped self harming because of his laugh, how many people got better and actually wanted to live because he was just there. James nodded, and began to cry.
The others loosened their grip and Carlos got off of him. James sat up, wiped his eyes, and looked at his friends. "I...I am so sorry, guys." He managed to say. "I...I don't know what I was thinking. You, you're all right, you are all exactly right. People do need me, and I need them, too. And...I need you guys. You're all my best friends, why did I ever even think about leaving you guys?"
The other three, smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes, all threw their arms around James and hugged him tightly in the middle of the sidewalk on that bridge, just inches from the spot where James almost jumped. All four of them cried, and finally James managed to pull away and smile.
"Thank you guys so much." He said. "If it wasn't for you guys...I'd be in those waters right now. Thank you so much, for not only saving me but helping me see that I can get better."
"So will you?" Logan asked. "Will you at least try to get better?"
James smiled and nodded. "I will...I promise, I will. But only if you guys will help me." The other guys smiled and nodded, hugging James.
"We promise we will." Kendall said. "And we won't leave your side ever again...we love you so much, James. You mean so much to us."
And there they sat, a crying, hugging, huddled mass, in the middle of the sidewalk on the Golden Gate Bridge. Everything was fine and quiet for a moment until Carlos opened his eyes and spotted someone else on the bridge.
"Hey...who's that?" Carlos said. He pointed to the person as they walked along the bridge, stopping at the railing. Everyone watched as they stood there for a few moments, but then all began to get scared as the person began to climb the rail.
"They're going to jump, too!" Logan said.
James immediatly jumped up and ran to them. As he approached them, he noticed it was a girl, about 16 years old, with cuts covering both of her arms. "Hello, darling." James said calmly as he appraoched her. "Are you...is everything ok? What's the matter, doll?"
The girl turned her head to James, tears streaming down her face. "Don't try this." She said. "Don't you dare. This is my third attemot and it will be my last. I'm tired of this, I'm tired of living, I'm sick of everything that's going on. Don't get any closer, or I'll hurl myself off this bridge before you can even have time to think."
James raised his hands to calm her. "Easy." He said, calmly. "So...what's your name, beautiful?" The girl scoffed.
"Why do you care? You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through. And don't play dumb with me, I know what you're trying to do. And let me tell you, it won't work. Not this time, no way."
"Ok, ok." James said. "But, can you tell me why you want to jump? Are things really that bad? Because I know for a fact things can get better."
The girl laughed. "Are you being serious right now? Don't do this shit. It won't work."
"I just want to talk to you. Can you wait for a minute, and just talk to me?"
The girl was silent. James took a deep breath and another step closer to her. "Listen, I know what you're going through, I've been going through some things, but I just pushed myself and it got better. You can do the same thing too."
"You make it sound so easy to be alive. But how am I supposed to seize this day when everything inside of me has died?"
"Trust me, girl, I know your legs are pleading to leap. But I offer you this easy choice, instead of dying, you can talk to me."
"Are you crazy? You don't even know me."
"I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully."
She was quiet for a moment. James stood there, watching her hair flow along with the wind, her legs in the same position as his were just minutes ago. She began to cry.
"I tried to get better, but nothing helps. Things just get worse and worse. I'm not beautiful and I never will be. People think I'm a freak and the scars and cuts you see on my arms prove it. I hate myself, I hate my life, and it seems the only way tomake it better is to end it."
"I know, I know how you feel, but trust me, I know from experience that if you try hard enough, and talk to the right people, things will get so much better. I understand you tried, but even if you fail, you have to try harder. Surround yourself with friends, people who care about you. I bet you have a family, a family who loves and cares about you. And even if you don't have any friends...I can be your friend. We can talk all the time, we can hang out, anything to keep you happy. I promise. I know this might sound a little weird, but it's true. If you just step over that railing and take my hand, I can help you through whatever it is you are going through. At least let me try to help you. Maybe you were just looking for help in all the wrong places. A friend told me that you need to push yourself to get better...and if you do you will."
All was silent for a few moments as the girl stood there. He heard a few cries escape her lips, and began to panic when he saw her move, but realized she was climbing back over the railing.
James rushed to help her, and once he got her over, he pulled her close and she cried into his shirt. "It's ok, darling, it's ok." He said, stroking her hair.
"Lilliana." She said. James looked at her confused, but then she smiled at him. "Lilliana...you asked for my name."
James smiled at her. "It's a pretty name." He said. "A pretty name for a pretty face." James placed a hand on her cheek. "So, what do you say? Will you stay, even for a little bit? We can be friends, if you want to. I can help you, I know a lot of people who will want to talk to you, too."
Lilliana was silent for a moment, then she looked up at James in the most serious way ever. "Alright, you win, but I only give you one night to prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight. I swear to God if you hurt me, I will leap and toss myself from this very bridge and you'll never see it coming."
"Settle, precious I know what you're going through. Because ten minutes before you got here...
...I was gonna jump too..."
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified notion
You see, the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
So how was that for an ending? ;) I hope you all enjoyed this, I really, really appreciate it!