Seven years ago cont.
With a rustle of feathers, she could feel the stagnant apartment air fill her lungs, replacing the clean Montana breeze she had known for so long. As Balthazar began to explain something to her, she reluctantly opened her eyes, wishing everything could go back to normal, before she moved in with Lucas – no, before she lost her brothers.
"The bathroom is right over there near the closet. There's a fresh toothbrush and everything…extra clothes in the closet – they're your size. Um…yeah," he quickly glanced between Emily and the second angel. Her gaze was on the ground as the long haired angel started at her, several emotions mixing in his eyes. "I should probably go…you know, let you get ready for bed with whatever rituals you humans."
"Balthazar?" she asked quietly.
Seeming surprised, he answered, "Yes, love?"
She paused. "You guys are angels, right?" Not bothering to give him time to answer, she continued, "So, w-why'd you bother with me when there are so many people who have it worse off? There are so many lives you could be saving."
He opened his mouth, but stayed silent. The second angel continued to stare at her as she dared to raise her gaze from the floor, glancing to the golden haired angel before focusing her gaze on Balthazar. "I…" he finally began, "we…when you were young…" he sighed. "Emily…I made a promise to your mother before you were born."
"You…you knew my mom? And my sister?"
It was Balthazar who dropped his gaze now. "Yes."
"I don't…why? I mean, you're an angel – you're supposed to protect her – and she – she," she could feel tears beginning to prick he corners of her eyes.
His eyes were filled with sadness and deep regret. "I couldn't get there in time…I couldn't save them."
She blinked furiously. "Why? Why…"
"Her husband – your father…he had the house warded against angels. By the time I heard her praying to me and got into the house, it was coming for you. I was able to get you outside and to the Winchesters where I knew you'd be safe."
"Why didn't you take me with you?" she stared up at him with a perfect replication of Sam's puppy dog eyes.
"I wanted to," he said immediately. "Dad knows I wanted to, but your mother…I knew she wouldn't let me."
"So…" she paused, trying to understand. "My mother wouldn't let you take me with you, but she made you promise to protect me?"
"Yes."
"Then where were you both?" she stared up at them, face going dark.
He paused. "I…well, we…watched you grow up with them. My brother," he gestured to the dirty blond angel, "saw me watching over you when you were four, and he's been watching over you, too, ever since then."
"So this whole time…" she paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. When she stared back up at them, there were tears in her eyes. "April 1996."
"What?" the older angel asked hesitantly.
"Where were you on April 14, 1996. The worst day of my life."
"Emily," Balthazar's voice sounded broken, as though someone had just stabbed him through the heart.
"Don't," she spun around, glaring at him. Her hands were clenched into fists at her side. "I almost died so many more times than just tonight. And you think as soon as Luc's about to kill me, you can just…just waltz in and expect me to – to…obediently go with you, no questions asked? I don't know anything about you! For all I know, you could be lying though your teeth and just be a really powerful witch or something! I don't need you! I can make it on my own – God knows I've been doing that my whole life!"
Balthazar clenched his jaw, eyes shining. She immediately felt guilty. "Well…I can see you need time to process this. À demain." With a flutter of feathers he was gone.
She sank down to the floor, leaning against the bed frame and holding her head in her hands. She felt incredibly guilty about yelling at him, but every word of what she said was true. She needed them so any times, but they never stepped in, never once helped her. She sat there for what felt like hours before she recognized that someone was in the room with her. Lifting her head, she saw the other angel sitting cross-legged on the floor across the room, starting at her as though he was attempting to understand everything about her. She was silent for a moment before saying, "I-I'm sorry. What I said…I didn't mean…"
"Yes you did," he stated, gaze fixed with hers. "But it is the truth."
"I shouldn't have said it."
"Why, because it was mean?" She bit her lip. "I appreciate that you were honest with us about how you felt. I think the world needs more of that."
When her gaze dropped to the floor, the angel said, "Why don't we start over. What's your name?" She looked up at him, confusion on her face. "What's your name? That's usually how people greet each other, isn't it?"
"Well, usually they say hello," she said quietly, flashing him a weak grin because of his oblivious nature.
"Well then," an adorable goofy grin had infected his face when he saw her smile. "Hello," he stuck out his hand, "what's your name?"
"Emily Winchester," she smallest of grins tugging at her mouth as she placed her small hand in his. It still surprised her that his hands were so warm and comforting. She began to recognize a change in her attitudes, wondering what is was about this angel that terrified her and welcomed her at the same time.
"Well, hello, Emily. I'm Gabriel." I took her a minute to register the name with the biblical references to Gabriel she had learned from hunting with Sam and Dean. Her heartbeat jumped.
"Gabriel…the Gabirel, like you met Mary – that Gabriel?" her eyes widened in fear as she tried to pull her hand from his, her throat swelling.
"Not if you don't want me to be," he said quickly, moving closer to her, effectively trapping her against the bed.
"Gabriel…" she muttered, a nervous laughter beginning to bubble in her throat. The angel looked down at her, clearly surprised and worrying slightly at her wellbeing. The fit of giggles soon erupted into hysterical laughter. "This is how I'm going to die. Out of everything – everything – I've tried…an archangel…Killed by an angel," she snorted, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Her breath began turning to frantic gasps again as she squeezed her eyes shut, terror rising in her chest.
"Please," the angel muttered, grabbing one of her hands, transferring the vice-like grip she had on her jeans to his fingers. A strangled sob tore its way from her throat before something began to flow from Gabriel's fingers into her. It was similar to when he had healed her, although she could somehow tell it was calming her down, not physically repairing her. Before turning into a full-blown panic attack, her breath almost immediately stabilized as she lost some of her grip on the angel's fingers. Energy drained, she leaned into the angel, her head on his shoulder, as she quietly panted for breath.
"Emily," he pleaded quietly. "I swear…I would never hurt you, okay? You have my word."
Her voice was strained somewhat and barely audible to the human ear as she commented sarcastically, "B-but…after everything I said to you – I almost hit you – and the angel's not gonna smite me."
"Never," he growled. She could feel his body tense at the idea. "You are very precious to me, Emily. I would never…I would never forgive myself if you – if something…While I am alive, nothing, nothing will lay a hand on you again. I promise."
Her fits had died to a silent crying; her eyes were closed as she leaned against him, a continuous stream of tears falling from her eyes. "I actually, for once, don't want to die," she muttered, grabbing the small silver charm on her leather bracelet.
"And you won't." She flinched at his voice, attempting to pull away from him again. "Please," his voice sounded broken as he held onto her, another surge of the sedative from his fingers coursing through her. "I swear I will not hurt you. No harm will come to you while I'm here. You have my word."
She sighed, collapsing into him, energy completely spent. "I can't do this anymore."
"You can. Yes, you can because you are stronger than that, and I will be by your side," she could feel his voice rumbling in his chest. Emily surprised herself by nuzzling closer to him and closing her eyes. "I've got you," he muttered. "I'm here."