Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Bronzehairedgirl for her help and patience with this story. Also, thanks to sullencullen AKA muckymuckerson, who made me want to finish this story.

Tatters

by silly bella

The swirl of emotions nearly made me stagger. I glanced at Alice as she descended the steps. Anger. Anger squared, actually, because she and Edward were fighting. Make it anger cubed. I'd forgotten about Rosalie.

"He's still wearing those awful clothes. Where did he get them? He's worn them since we left Forks," she complained.

Alice flashed her a dirty look. More anger frothed up inside me. "I can't believe that he's up there suicidal, and you're complaining about what he's wearing."

"I know why he's wearing them," Emmett said, his voice unusually quiet. We all watched him, waiting for him to explain. "That's what he was wearing when we had that knock-down drag-out fight. You know, before he came home half-naked." Emmett smiled and shrugged, "Well, more than half-naked. They got torn up in the fight and Bella mended them. He may wear them until they disintegrate."

I could taste his frustration mingling with the anger that filled the room and the despair that flowed non-stop from Edward.

Rosalie shook her head. "Somebody has to do something. And he might actually feel better if he changed clothes."

She and Edward acted like they despised each other, but underneath everything else, I sensed the flavor of their love. They were family, and they knew it, just as I knew that right this moment Rosalie would be happy to see Edward dressed in a potato sack if that would actually help him. Of course, she'd rather be torn to pieces and burned than let the others know that.

"I think we're just going to have to wait it out, like last time," I whispered.

Alice reached for my hand as she sat beside me. She recognized the dread in my voice. The last time, I'd been in Alaska when everyone left. All I had to face were my own emotions. At least for a while. But here, now, I felt overwhelmed. I was like Atlas, holding the world on my shoulders as I tried to help Edward and sooth the pain we all shared. It was too much for me, but it would be worse for everyone if I left, even though every cell of my being wanted to run away from the furor of feeling the agony of seven people. At least we were living in the middle of nowhere, so I didn't have to worry about what anyone outside my family was feeling. The closest town in this desolate Canadian wilderness was Yellowknife, and it was miles away.

"I've tried," Emmett sighed. "It's pointless. He's determined when it comes to wallowing. I'd rather deal with a dead pig on a hot afternoon than with Edward when he gets like this."

Rosalie nodded in agreement. "He's so stubborn. At least we didn't have to send Emmett out to find him this time."

Alice grinned at the irony of Rosalie calling Edward stubborn. I clung to the glimmer of joy that sprang from her humor.

If it had been just Edward, I might have found a way to manage the emotional strain. He'd always been moody and angry. But the rest of the family felt broken, too. Carlisle handled it the best, allowing himself to focus on his work. When he came home from the hospital, I filled myself with all the compassion and the happiness in his heart, from the sense of satisfaction that his healing brought. It sprang fresh and new each day, but ebbed away as he mourned for Edward.

Esme's heart had broken along with Edward's. Worry consumed her. She worried about Edward. She worried about Bella. She worried about how the whole situation affected the rest of us. She worried about Marrietta. And she felt the most overwhelming grief.

Not that the rest of us didn't. We missed Bella, too. This time, there'd been no doubt that she and Marietta were family. It hurt to lose both of them. But we couldn't argue with her reasoning like we had with Edward fifteen years ago. Marietta was far too young to change. It frustrated Alice and Edward to face an eternity of adolescence. How would it feel to bee stuck in the body of a thirteen-year-old for an unending lifetime? And without changing her, there was no way we could truly assure Bella that Marietta was safe.

If we changed Bella without changing Marietta, Bella wouldn't be able to see her daughter for at least a year. Probably longer. Rosalie and Esme felt sure that maternal instinct would keep Bella from feeding on her own daughter, but even they didn't want to chance it. We certainly couldn't blame Bella for feeling the same way.

And if we waited until Marietta was old enough to make her own choice, Bella was right. In five years, maybe even less, Bella might not be convincing as a Cullen sibling. Maybe it would have been better not to see her again.

I nearly doubled over, the emotional agony almost a physical pain. Edward hadn't liked that last thought one bit.

Alice reached for me, and as her skin brushed against mine, I felt her love, burning and pure. It sustained me, easing the effects of Edward's misery and the mourning the rest of my family felt. Thank God for Alice. I could never survive this anguish if not for Alice.