After one and half year… the crazy kid and his silly assassin are back. :D

Thanks to ShebasDawn - my dear friend, beta and co-author of the new story A Crow, a Rat and a Sparrow for her help, encouragement and poking. :D

Airam couldn't believe his eyes. Zevran, in a library, reading a book? And so absorbed in it that he didn't even look up when someone entered? What was the world coming to? Grinning, he sneaked up behind the assassin. He had to know what this was about. As he got closer, he realized Zevran wasn't just reading - he was studying something, mumbling softly to himself.

"Ah, I get it. I have to have a clear picture in my mind first. Yes, but which one?"

It sounded as if Zev wanted to conjure something... how awesomely ridiculous. "Clear picture of what, love?" he asked, snatching the book from the bed. 'Conjure Stripper,' said the title on the top left page. He frowned at the instructions - this was one of the advanced spells; even he would need some time to learn it. There was no chance Zev would ever manage that.

He looked up at Zev, who seemed suspiciously embarrassed. "You want to learn magic to conjure a stripper?"

"Ahaha... well... it was... when I found that book, I... it was just a silly idea..."

Airam stared at his lover. What was going on? He had never seen Zevran like this. He glanced at the book again and made up his mind. "If that is what you wish, then you will have it. I'll learn this spell and conjure the stripper for you."

"You – what? But... no! No, I cannot ask that from you, amore."

"Nonsense, Zev. Just give me a few hours, all right?" Ignoring Zevran's feeble attempts at protest, he kissed him on the cheek, took the book, and left the room. Now, there was only one problem with this. He thought about it for a while. If that silly Anders was still here, he could ask him, but now... Ah. Yes. That will do.

He hurried to the Senechal's office. Varel was there, as he had hoped, going through letters filled with the endless rantings and complaints of nobles. What a pity there wasn't a spell to cure that.

"I need a consultation, Varel. Do you perhaps know what a stripper is?"

oOo

Ten minutes later, a very confused Airam was sitting on his bed, looking around. He would have never believed Zev was interested in something like that. A stripper? Really? But what for? Airam sighed. He had no idea what was behind this, but if Zev wanted a stripper, then by the Maker, he would conjure him one!

oOo

Zevran wanted to kick himself. Why in the Void wasn't he more careful? How was it possible he hadn't heard him coming? He was getting too soft. Airam acted as if he didn't mind, but he knew his crazy kid too well. Of course he would mind, and of course he would be hurt. Brasca! This was what happened when people read. He came to the library looking for Air and found that book, full of those silly spells. It seemed like fun, so he imagined what it would be like if he could really cast them.

Naturally, Air had to come in just as he was studying the Conjure Stripper spell. Well alright, he was perhaps reading it for a longer time and more carefully than, say, Ball of Deodorant, but that was perfectly natural, no?

He moaned in despair. Air was probably mad at him. And plotting some punishment. Not that he didn't deserve it. He would gladly do anything to make Airam forgive him.

oOo

"Zevran! There you are!" Airam hurried across the training yard with a wide, happy smile. Zevran's mouth went dry. Here it was. The punishment.

"I conjured the stripper for you," said Airam, ignoring the surprised chuckles and smirks from the recruits. "You can start any time you want. I assume you want to do our bedroom first, right?"

Everybody in the yard, including Ser Pounce, gawped at Airam. And then they all turned to him with the same accusing stare. What have you done with our cute Commander? - it seemed to say. Too shocked to reply, he followed Airam, his anxiety and anticipation growing by every step. He opened the door-

It was empty.

"As I said, you can start whenever you want, Zev. But can you please tell me why you were so secretive about it?"

Zevran stared at him, completely nonplussed.

"If you didn't like how things are now, all you had to do was say so. I would have arranged it to your liking. And if you wanted to do it yourself, that wouldn't be a problem, either. You know I'll always support you in all your interests... no matter how weird they are."

"Do not say that," he said, almost crying. "I swear it is not like that. I am perfectly happy with how things are."

Airam frowned. "You are? But, then why do you need that stripper?"

Zevran followed Air's gaze to something on the chest of drawers. A... pot. He walked up to it and lifted the lid. Inside was some weird, semi-paste substance, with a rather unpleasant smell. "And this is...?"

"The stripper." Airam looked at him as if he were insane. "I really think we should simply buy new furniture, if you don't like what we have, but if redecorating furniture is what makes you happy – why are you laughing like that? Zevran!"

Well, yes. Redecorating the bedroom - especially the bed – was a very pleasant activity. It took them the whole afternoon.