Now that I'd taken Kacey Barry under my wing, my thoughts drifted to Jodie. The police said there was no evidence of kidnapping whatsoever or suspicions of being taken by force, they all said she'd willingly gone with whoever had taken her but I wasn't convinced. She'd be gone a little over ten days and I was getting worried, pushing everyone away and I was drinking heavily, ignoring everyone's advice that I should stop. I arrived late to the PRU and only Kacey seemed remotely interested in my well being, even staying behind for a little chat like I'd asked her to. She was looking more and more upset since her family had turned against her. Her hair was greasy and unkempt but at least she was still in her tracksuit and trainers with her rucksack. She was continually crying, her eyes always looked red and extremely sore – it had been ten days and it was still happening.
'Everyone you can go.' I yelled over the chatter, ignoring the piercing throbbing ache in my brain. Don't think about the gunshots; don't think about the gunshots, do not think about the gunshots – think of Jodie and how terrified she's going to be, scared out of her mind without you to save her.
'Hiya, Miss.' I jumped about a foot in the air, clutching the side of the desk in response. It was only Kacey, looking a little bit scared as she nervously stepped towards me.
'Is everything all right? D'you want me to go?' She paused, turning towards the door. 'It's alright if you want me to, I can if you...' I stopped her in her tracks, holding up my hand.
'Hey, it's OK.' I walked over and closed the door, making sure we weren't overheard and then invited her to sit down. Although feeling nervous, she sat down in front of my desk, the corners of her mouth twitching sadly.
'Is everything all right with you?' I asked conversationally as I fumbled in my handbag for a bottle of water and took a swig. I glanced sympathetically at her, knowing what response was coming.
'Remind me to ask your mum whether she understands the art to parenting her kids.' I laughed sarcastically, not bothered by her response. She, however, laughed and asked me for a bottle of water; I handed her one, grinning.
'So... you thought any more about what're going to do about your body?' My question seemed to be a bolt out of the blue for her as I put my feet up on my desk. She laughed at my feet and mimicked me, sticking her feet up in front of her before pausing thoughtfully and shrugging, taking a swig of her water bottle.
'If I'm honest, I know what I want to do... it's just how I get there... I really don't want to have to hide anymore – I want to get away from home, I want to be able to express who I am, I want to be able to live my own life, Miss. That's what I want.' She looked down at the floor, mumbling. 'But it's not about what I want anymore.' Her expression was glum and, looking at her miserable character, slumped in her chair and dishevelled, I decided not to push her.
'Have the police been in touch about Scout yet, Miss?' Another of her questions that threw me off the scent of what I was about to say. Sighing sadly and folding my arms, I shook my head, feeling an unusual maternal feeling in the pit of my stomach towards Kacey – why was I feeling like this? She has a mother, even if her mother is Carol Barry.
'No, not yet. There's been no sign of forced entry and no sign of kidnapping so there's been no proper development yet. Police reckon she's squatting somewhere.' I took another swig of water and furiously wiped at my eyes. Kacey reached into her trouser pocket and fished for a crumpled tissue. I took it, smiling.
'Thanks, hon.' I paused thoughtfully, dabbing my eyes and smiling weakly. Why was Kacey Barry having an effect on me? The bell rang for the end of the day, making Kacey jump and I laughed silently.
'Kacey, what's wrong?' My eyes turned towards her, I made sure they were soft as I walked towards her, not wanting her to be frightened.
'I need to face my mum. She's taken my football and my headphones and my iPod and my phone. I don't what I'm going to do.' Her voice broke and a cascade of tears ran down her cheeks.
'Right, come on you. I'll give you a lift home – I promised you I'd sort something with your mum, didn't I?' I smiled as she smiled, holding open the door for her.
'Come on, I'll show her who's boss.' We shared a grin as I led her out of school and towards my Land Rover and her mouth dropped at the car.
'This is boss this, Miss.' She was grinning like a child as she climbed up and jumped in the front seat, slamming the door shut behind her. I grinned, laughing at her as we drove out of school and she directed me to her estate which was a twenty minute drive away. I was surprised to find out she lived in a modern looking double fronted semi detached with a front and back garden and two garages.
'Come on, sweetheart.' I squeezed her shoulder reassuringly as she climbed out the front seat and walked towards the door, fear running through her body as she knocked on the door.
x x
As Deena carried me back to the car, my head was throbbing with pain. That Asian teenager must've spiked my drink – I clutched the £500 tightly in my hand, not wanting anyone to touch it. The next thing I knew I was waking up in bed and Deena was walking into her bedroom, sitting next to me and kissing me softly and gently – like I was used to, with her hands caressing my cheeks and stroking them lovingly, wiping away a tear that had trickled down my face and pulling me towards her for a hug. Then she laid me down and was tucking me up before she was walking round the room, switched off the bedroom lamps, closed the curtains and shut the door, promising to check on me during the night. Graham came in at one pint whilst I slept, to give me some painkillers for my head and my cramping pains in my stomach and also a hot water bottle and a hot chocolate.
'Goodnight, Jodie.' He kissed my forehead and placed his finger under my chin for a fraction of a second before leaving again, closing the door behind him. I drifted to sleep several long minutes later, having spent most of them in the dark – thinking about Mum and how much I missed her, how much I regretted running from her but at the time it was all her own fault. I hadn't kept in touch with Rhiannon or Jade or even Tom and Maggie – I had no one except Deena and Graham; without them I'd be on the streets – they were my family now, and that was how it was going to stay, forever.
x x
Sitting on the sofa across the room from Carol Barry, I reassuringly nodded at Kacey and then started to speak.
'I don't think you understand just how precious children are to their parents, Mrs. Barry. From where I stand – and the school, and even them – you just seem to take advantage of the fact that they're there for you when you need them to be. You bully them into making money to get your piece of scum husband out of jail, who does nothing but drink and batter his family – including you.' I sighed heavily, desperate to keep her on track.
'Mrs. Barry; suffering domestic abuse isn't something you should take lightly; believe me I know exactly what it's like, and I also know how hard it is to admit that it's happening and that it has happened to you in the past.' I pinched the bridge of my nose, surprised when she glanced up at me.
'It's not easy, him coming home, demanding this, that and the other and then beating you black and blue when he doesn't get what he wants. The kids suffer because of it. I suffer because of it.' Her voice broke, surprising Kacey who instinctively put her arm round her.
'Ma, it'll be alright y'know, I promise. I'll be here.' She turned to Kacey, grinning and took hold of her hand.
'If being like this makes you happy, how can I deny my baby that, eh? I can't. Because I love you.' She squeezed Kacey's hand and I encouragingly smiled, egging her on.
'I was going to call you Robbie if you were born a boy. But I don't know how to handle this, Kace. Sweetheart, I'm so, so sorry.' Her tone had softened completely – clearly bringing Neil into the conversation had frightened her slightly.
She touched Kacey's face, wiping her tears with her thumbs and then patted her arm reassuringly before she turned to me.
'Miss Boston, ta for bringing her back. I appreciate it.' She clearly wanted me out.
'Mrs Barry, I need to give Kacey one last thing.' I fished in my handbag and drew out a pair of the latest headphones, a new iPod touch and a new touch screen BlackBerry; pushing the presents into Kacey's hands, I turned to Carol.
'The school think it's best if she stays with a member of staff whilst you get used to being round the idea, Carol. Is that OK?' Carol smiled at me.
'You? Is that all right with you? I mean with Jodie going missing and everything going on with you?' I nodded to reassure her.
'Oh yeah, it's all OK! Can Kacey get her stuff from her room?' Carol nodded, shutting the door and shooting Kacey a smile.
'How long does she have to stay with you?' Carol pleaded as I pulled on my coat, ready to leave and take Kacey with me.
'Kacey, are you ready yet, mate?' I walked into the hall and shouted up the stairs and true to form, Kacey came down the stairs with her sports bag full to the brim.
'Come on, you.' I led Kacey out to my car but not before Carol hugged her tightly and held her face in her hands.
'Kacey, if you really want to do this, I will support you. After what Miss Boston made me realise, I shouldn't take you for granted anymore. I'm sorry, baby. Forgive me?' To my surprise, Kacey and Carol hugged. Then she turned to me.
'This surgery costs quite a bit but we can think about it more later, yeah? Miss Boston can put your bag in her car, right?' I was surprised that they were prepared to wait.
'Isn't it better that Kacey has it done before she properly develops? Because she sounds serious about this, Carol – I think you should support her.' I paused, looking into Kacey's eyes. 'You've got my full support – I'll even pay it if that's what it takes.' My offer seemed to shock both of them.
Carol's eyes widened in amazement and shock.
'Can you afford £3, 000 just like that, Miss Boston?' I reassured Carol I could before stepping back to allow kacey to put her bag in the boot of my Land Rover.
'I want to help Kasey. I'll speak to some Army mates and see what I can do about a hospital and the money – don't worry, Carol. I've got this.' I promised her before leaving.
'Miss Boston?' Carol called a little louder than I liked but I turned round anyway.
'I hope they find Jodie. Thanks for talking to us and making me see sense.' She shut the door in my face as I climbed in my car and drove Kacey back to my place.
x x
I woke up to light coming through on the window. It was early morning I was sure of it. Deena and Graham must be still asleep and my handbag was reassuringly still on the end of the bed. Climbing out of bed, I got up and walked towards the door. It was locked from the outside – I could tell padlocks had been fitted. Fear gripped me! Why would they do that?
'Deena, can you open the door?' I yelled through the wood and pounded my fist. Racing round the bed to my phone there were several missed calls from Mum and Tom. Quickly without thinking, I dialled a number.
'Help me; they're dodgy, proper dodgy... I'm trapped.'