A/N : UPDATE TIME! Hey everyone :-)
Not a lot to sat exceot thankyou all for the reviews, keep it going please! Hope you like this chapter and tell me what you think! Chapter 38 is going to be really long by the way, like 5000+ so that'll be good for you to read, it's and extreme M+ RATING for the natures. Any questions or concerns about it / if you think it could affect you do ask 'cause it's a heavy theme I'll keep up for a while.
PLEASE REVIEW!
Chapter 35 : Night Tremors.
Pepper POV.
We went up to bed fine, I stayed up a little after having a shower to wash my hair. After Evelyn left our bedroom to go and get some sleep herself, Tony fall back into a soppy, groggy sleep, demanding him at my side .
At a strange unknown time I found myself staring up at the ceiling. Why had I woken up? Beside me came an amount of unsettled shuffling. It took a few more minuets to become more aware, I listened carefully to the man beside me. At sometime during the night Tony and I must have rolled away from each other. I looked over my shoulder to see Tony's back facing me. All seemed normal for a second before I focused on him a little more; Tony was tremoring in his sleep, the back of his neck glossy from sweat ,curled in on himself with a pillow clenched in the middle of his strained arms, the muscles moulding into the pillow. Tony was audibly whimpering and jerking, a few heart broken sobs breaking out from his throat and being sure to stab me straight through the heart. With a heartbroken expression on my face for the nightmares had seemingly reappeared, I leaned over to Tony gasping his sweat slicked shoulder beneath my fingers.
"Tony!" I hushed in his ear, gently shaking his shoulder and looking into his distressed face; pouting lip, tense posture, whimpers and odd broken sobs rasping out from his lips, 'v' shape creases on his forehead from his frown, furrowed brows, droplets of sweat rolling down his face and many a worry crease spread across his face.
"Tony, wake up. Your dreaming, wake up." I shook him again expecting that it wouldn't awake Tony, except his eyes shot open and his body jolted up right knocking me out of the way in the process - ridding the wind from my lungs in a matter of seconds.
Tony drew his knees up to his chest, elbows resting on his knee caps and his head in his hands. I noticed tears trickling down the inside of Tony's wrists as he tried to contain the heart stricken sobs and hastened breath, though a few escaped, soon enough our bedroom was filled with a distressed sob every few minuets and a few sniffles.
"Tony?" He didn't move.
"Tony?" I said again in the same tone, taking Tony's wrists in my hands and trying to pry them away from his face.
"Look at me."
"M' fine." He choked out, ripping his wrists out of my hands and tearing out of the bed to storm into the bathroom still heavily breathing.
I watched him for a moment through the door way in the moon lit ensuite. Watched how he stared blankly at himself in the mirror. How he hastily wiped away the stray tears that still betrayed him. Tony hit his open palm against his forehead.
"You 'wanna talk about it?" I said from the bed.
"No." He snapped back.
"I think you should-"
"Don't!" He threw his body towards me in a furious snap, his expression tired and angry beyond belief.
"Don't, what?! It's okay, you know. To admit how you feel and own up to the fact that the nightmares have gotten to you." I said calmly, but feeling my anger stir within me .
"No. Pepper, no. It's not okay. I've been vulnerable for too long. Don't you think it's pathetic enough grown man has fucking nightmares!?" He shouted back.
"No I damn well don't! It's okay! I wish you would just accept that!"
"You have no idea, Pepper, no fucking clue!"
... ... ... ... ... ...
Rowan POV.
Shouting threw me out of sleep. It took my sleep absorbed brain a while to work out what was going on. I think mom and dad were shouting downstairs. I heard a faint knock on the wall opposite my bed and knew it was my sister. It was a kind of thing that we developed between each other, knocking to each other through our walls signalling to one another that the other was awake. I lazily balled up some socks from my drawer and threw them across the room awfully, but far enough for them to hit the wall with a dull thud.
I slipped out of bed and into the dark hallway, quickly looking over to see mom and dad's room in darkness with the door open and the stair way lit. A lot of shouting echoed up the stairs. I gulped. I bloody hated to death when my parents argued. Not wanting to hear more I walked the few feet of our huge rooms to Evelyn's bedroom which was loudly stated with a plush pink polka dot 'E' on the front of the door. I cracked it open and walked into complete darkness.
"You heard that? You okay?" Evelyn asked from her huge double bed. Tears creeped up on me.
"Yeah... Can I stay here?"
"Yeah, of course. Hey, don't get upset," Evelyn whispered, getting up from her bed and hugging me warmly and tightly.
"I hate it when they argue as well. They never do which is what makes it worse.
"I didn't say anything, just hugged her tightly. She was so petite in my muscled arms.
"I hate it when they shout at each other." I mumbled.
"Aw, I know. Me too." Evelyn rubbed my back through my white cotton t-shirt and ruffled my hair with her other hand.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Rowan POV.
Angry as fuck I grabbed the first newspaper from the rails I saw and tossed some money at the sales man.
"Happy? Take me to Stark, please." I demanded probably a little too harshly at poor old Happy just standing by the Bentley as soon as I jogged briskly through the front gate to the mansion after school to avoid all of those knob head reporters asking questions."Of course. Where's the fire, man?!" Happy was unfazed by my snapp and just chuckled when I threw myself into the car."Just drive, please."
'Stark and Potts on the rocks : Stark Industries couple divorce?' The newspaper read in bold writing on the front with a probably billion dollar worth photo of mom and dad at some benefit ball. This shit travels fast. They've been arguing for a few days now on and off. With things like this in the news it made it hard to know what to believe anymore.
"Listen, Happy. 'Stark and Potts on the rocks : Stark Industries couple divorce?'. What the hell does that mean?! Don't answer!"
"That's actually very clever ' on the rocks' seeing as you live on the coast on rocks... Kind of." Happy babbled in his usual cheery voice.
"What does that even matter?! Are you a reporter, Happy Hogan, body guard to the Stark family? Huh?!" I said irritably.
"You must admit. On the rocks.. 'Cause you live on the rocks... Bloody brilliant!" Happy snorted at his own joke whilst hitting his palm against the steering wheel as he pulled up outside the Stark Industries lobby. Who laughs at their own god damned jokes?!
"Yes. Okay, it's kind of clever. But that's not the point! See ya, Happy." I sighed in defeated and slammed the door after me.
"Hello, Rowa-" Aunty Natasha started when she saw me on the top floor where both mom and dad's offices were. Aunty Natasha was working on the desk outside dad's office.
"Hi. Know where they are?" I cut her off.
"Er- Your father is in his office. Is everything okay?" Aunty Natasha frowned at me just as I threw myself into a brown leather chair.
"Yeah, everything's just fab... You know what?! Fuck it. We're related. This'll probably be my office one day." I stomped over to the door to my dad's office angrily and wrenched it out of my way.
Dad wasn't even doing anything remotely important or so it seemed, he didn't even notice I'd walked in. I stood there for a number of minuets only being noticed when dad leaned back in his chair bringing his eyesight up to level and sipping on his glass of scotch.
"What are you doing here?!" He jumped a mile. "Your supposed to be at school!"
"'Cause I saw this." I rolled up the paper into a roll and threw it as hard as I could at his stupid head. His stupid, stupid head that I just wanted to pummel into the ground right now.
"What is this? Haven't I told you not to believe what you read?!" Dad's voice raised instantly. It scared me a little bit but I powered on. I just started this, so hey, I may as well carry it on. I'm not backing down.
"Why is this in the press?!" I shouted, outraged.
"What is this reaction?! You know this isn't true!" Dad's palms hit down on the desk as he threw himself upright.
"BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK!"
"Rowan, don't ball shit me. Go to school or where ever you have to be. I haven't got time for a kid right now." Dad dismissed me. Still a glint of anger lingered in his eyes even through his lazy dismissal.
"Haven't got time?"
"No. Get out of my office."
"For a kid?" I whispered beginning to feel the piles of hurt I felt on my shoulders just as the tears pleaded to resurface.
"No."
"I'm your kid though. That doesn't make a difference because I'm not screaming your name or-or begging for your God damned autograph, all you want is an ego boost? Nothing else really matters to you. Mom. Me. Ev-Just you." Now, I was close to letting the tears break through saying anything I could to hate him more and draw him further into this.
"GET OUT!" Dad shouted full pelt at me, even making me shrink into myself a little. Behind me, the door opened to reveal Aunty Nat walking into dad's office warily, she glared at dad for shouting at me. Aunty Nat may be an expert, trained assassin, but she was the best Aunty ever. Period.
"What is going on?" Aunty Nat looked at us accusingly from one to the other, her hand settling on my shoulder and stroking comfortingly.
"Nothing. Rowan was just leaving." Dad glared back at her, the only light of comfort I had in here was Aunty Nat and she was being mentally shot down by that man I didn't even know right now.
"Yeah, I was just getting out of his way," I said plainly. Before I stepped to the door I turned to add bitterly, "You know I've always tried keeping a positive mind set about you. Now I can't ignore that anymore. You were never here for me and Evelyn. Not really. Your missions were, still are and always will be more important than us. No wonder you had a shit dad, you bloody well deserved it, and now your beginning to follow in his footsteps. Congrats, Pops." With that. I left because I thought he's come after me with a torpedo or his Iron Man suit or something and blast me into Australia.
"Happy. Home. Now." I choked on my words and Happy saw this too as I all but ran out of the building.
Not many things were clear. I was so angry, hurt and confused, I didn't even know what I was doing anymore.
No one was home. No one to stop me from being an idiot.
Bottles of whiskey and vodka weighed heavily in my hands until I threw them onto the leather seats of my rust bucket car that I rarely used. Go to Washington. Maybe.
All I knew is I felt the biggest impulse to drink booze. Just enough to drink myself into oblivion and forget about what happened for a little while.
... ... ... ... ... ...
Tony POV.
"ROWAN?!"
Nothing. Again.
"ROWAN?!" I guessed he'd been sulking in his room all night and all morning after our argument yesterday afternoon in my office. We were both at each others necks like wild dogs, Rowan was furious at me for that stupid headline that was printed yesterday. Still what he said made my blood boil, he was only probably right though in that I wasn't good to them. Not good to Pepper-
Clack, clack, clack, clack...
"Pep?"
"Uhuh?" Pepper walked through the doorway into the hallway where the foot of the stairs lay. Her fingers grasped some kind of Danish pastry, a coffee and a newspaper.
"We need to-ROWAN!- talk." I said to Pepper in between shouting up the stairs again for Rowan.
"Go ahead and talk then, Tony. Because I really don't know what to say." To my utter surprise Pepper allowed tears to flow from her eyes. We both equally hate when an argument ensues, but you can't just ignore what the other had said when it is so brutal it leaves you raw and shaky, you have to stick it out and eventually one of you, or maybe both, caves and apologises for their wrong doings. Through the tears Pepper looked at me with both looks of hopelessness and pity for me.
"I'm sorry. I'm a hot piping mess and I took that out on you, I suck for that. It's my fault." My expression softened in response to Pepper, I tested out the water once she uncluttered her hands, gladly she accepted (or at least didn't pull away) when I loosely intertwined our fingers by our sides.
"Really? I didn't notice that." Pepper said without emotion.
"I know. I'm sorry. Really, I am so sorry." I tugged on her hand a little showing off my childish side. Trying to make her crack a smile. Or laugh.
"How do I know that? What you said was really fucking stupid, you great big idiot. What if you-no, when you have another nightmare are you going to fly off the handle if I ask if your okay?" Pepper sniffled looking at the floor but I still noticed the way she shuffled from foot to foot towards me.
"Tell me what you want me to say, Pepper."
"Make me forgive you. Make me forget what you said."
"I'm so sorry, baby." I whispered, taking her hands behind me and placing them just above my ass. I cradled her face between my hands.
"Is that it?" Pepper said monotone.
"Nope. I'll go to every meeting for the next week,"
"Your bribing me? Sorry, Mr Stark, but no can do. I don't do bribery. As I'm sure you know." Pepper glided her nails against the small of my back, which through my t-shirt gave me the shivers.
"Right, this isn't really my style, but hey," I sighed. Ready to grovel at Pepper's feet, I got down on my knees and held her hands in mine.
"What are you doing...?" Pepper muttered, shoving me lightly to get up. Pepper couldn't contain a little giggle from her lips.
"Will you," I kissed her stocking covered left knee, "Pepper Stark," I kissed her right knee, "forgive me for what I said," My arms wrapped around the middle of her legs and leaned my chin on her thighs looking up at her, "Because I'm a bastard and I deserve the hate your giving me. I love you more than I can say. I'll make it up to you every day if I have to."
"I want you to make it up to me." Pepper said softly, still managing to sound heartbroken. She placed her hands on the back of my head grinning when I shuddered at the pleasant and missed feeling of her medium to short length nails began raking sensitively across my scalp.
"If I kissed you?" I started feebly scared of rejection from Pepper.
"Then I would kiss you back." Pepper replied, she wound her arms around me when I stood on my feet again as close as I could get to her and showing her through my eyes how much she meant to me and how very sorry I was. I leaned in to her slowly and gently just to see how she would take it even though she had just said she would kiss me back. Geez, it makes us sound like teenagers. Pepper's right hand locked into my hair and brought me even closer and ran the tip of her nose against mine, nuzzling gently and meaningfully. Then, I got hungry, I pressed our lips together hastily, my hands placing themselves around her hips and in the dip of her lower back.
"I'm sorry again, by the way." I said against her lips when we both pulled away slightly.
"Oh, shut up. Your forgiven." Pepper slapped my cheek lightly and pulled my lips to hers again. Despite my forming grin, I let my tongue run across Pepper's bottom lip begging for entrance . She seemingly happily complied, letting a fight for dominance ensue.
"I'm not the only one you have to apologise to, though, am I?" Pepper leaned back from the kiss, her hands clawing slightly at my chest. We both knew what she was talking about in less that three seconds, her eyebrows were raised, eyes fixed in almost glares.
"I know," I sighed, "I will, I will. But hey, he's sulking so he can drag his sorry ass down here and apologize first."
"Aside from that... Have you been up to his- I- Have you seen him since your argument?" Pepper deadpanned looking straight into my eyes with a serious look close to worry.
"I told you, I hadn't seen him since yesterday. Hey, JARVIS? You there ,buddy?"
"Always, sir. How may I be of assistance?" "Where is Rowan? Do you know? Is he in his room?" I asked the ceiling.
"No, sir. In fact, young Mr. Stark left the premises a number of hours ago, forty five minuets after your argument with him. I have no record of where he is now." JARVIS simply replied.
"Huh?! JARVIS! Why didn't you say anything?!" "Oh my god, Tony, what did you say to him?!" Pepper cried out, exasperated and grabbing the table top of the breakfast bar for support.
"Nothing a patch on what he said to me! JARVIS, have we got any footage of that time? Bring it up, show me."
Silently JARVIS loaded up footage of the time after Rowan got home after our argument. He knew best to face away from the cameras in this house, even with JARVIS being the eye in the sky. All it displayed on the interface of the footage recorded yesterday was Rowan in the house for a number of minuets before leaving. He was shown grabbing several bottles from the kitchen cabinates in a second I knew what he took, I wanted to deny it and say 'no, my kid wouldn't do that in a million years.' , Rowan took several of my hidden whiskey bottles from my private stash. Then the footage location changed down to the workshop where his car was stored because he never really used it as either me, Pepper, Evelyn, Rhodey or Happy always took him willingly to where he needed to be, Rowan jumped into his rusty car and drove off recklessly.
"Oh shit."