Getting near to the end now.
Many thanks for staying loyal and following this to its conclusion. Will finish up this month.
This is a mature chapter, just so you know. Enjoy.
Regina was tired, so tired she didn't check who was banging on her front door. Instead she yanked it open with a curse spilling from her lips before she registered the blonde hair and equally tired eyes looking back at her. It was late and they had both been up since before the sun had risen that morning. The conversation and revelations had been draining and she was in no mood to entertain even the Sheriff. The fact she hadn't checked the spy hole in the door made her realise and emphasised to her how tired and groggy her thought process was.
"Emma you look exhausted." She snapped, guessing the woman had made a decision but cursing her timing. Neither of them should be doing this now, they clearly needed sleep and part of her debated for just a fraction of a second to arrange for Emma to come back tomorrow. But she knew this was something too important to move to a better time. Her heart lurched in expectation. Or fear. Or a mix of both, she wasn't sure.
"Yeah, right back at you." The younger woman quipped, her eyes a little dull but her smile easy.
"You should be at home." Regina wanted to pull her close, and yet the feeling, fear - it was definitely fear, caused her to create distance. She wasn't certain she wanted to hear what the blonde had come to say. To add to her discomfort she had been caught off guard, so she became snarky and abrupt.
The brunette looked at the younger woman for a clue, and saw what she hoped were positive signs. Emma looked like she had had a long day, but she retained the ghost of a smile playing on her soft lips. She stood just a little straighter without the slump to her shoulders she had exhibited earlier in the day. Regina wanted to believe things could work out, but hope was a luxury she didn't trust in.
The older woman just wanted to have enough strength and energy to be able to talk this through sensibly. And deal with the rejection if that was what it was. But even if she didn't, she couldn't turn the other woman away now. She needed to know the answer, needed closure more than she needed sleep.
"And yet being at home doesn't feel right. Being here, this feels right." Emma told her, hands shoved into her back pockets. It pushed her breasts out and the brunette kept her eyes focused on her face. She didn't need to be distracted like that.
"Do you really think now is the best time to do this?" Regina asked her, brown eyes feeling gritty from hours of being awake. She didn't want to postpone this until a time when they were fresh, but her mouth still opened and stalling words kept falling out. What she wanted was to know Emma's answer, desperately now the woman was stood on her porch. She felt her nerves ramp up a notch, eating at her which didn't help her mood, and the short silence between them become weighted with expectation.
"Really Regina?" Emma sighed out in frustration. "You need to stop pushing me away. I want you, I really do. But this needs to stop."
"It's late and we are both tired, surely it makes more sense to talk tomorrow?" The brunette tried to argue her point with logic. She didn't appreciate the criticism from the blonde, pushing at her, backing her into a corner. She pushed back, despite Emma clearly identifying that was what was happening. It was instinctive and she couldn't help herself.
The blonde could obviously see the truth, "Listen to me. I can tell you don't want that, and part of me loves that you are being protective and trying to mother me, sending me back to bed for a good night's sleep. But I am not your child, I doubt I'd sleep much and you can't keep pushing me or this conversation away."
"I am doing no such thing!" The brunette shot back at her.
"Yeah, sorry but you are. I think it is so ingrained that you don't even realise you do it. The right thing to say now, to prove me wrong is, "Please come in.""
Emma smirked and bounced on her feet, waiting for Regina's tired mind to catch up and open the door further so she could enter the house.
With an eye roll and a huff, the brunette eventually gave in, saying in her best Mayoral voice, "Why of course Miss Swan, please do come in."
"See? Wasn't that hard." Emma teased but Regina had her back to her, already going back to her plush sofa and her tea, knowing the blonde would follow.
As Emma entered the room she was told, "Take a seat, but before we begin I want to voice my reservations. I've had a long day, so have you. Yes I am curious what decision you have made, but if you haven't reached one and you are here because you need more answers and want to discuss things further, I am in no state for that now."
"Duly noted." Emma told her and then stood looking round the room. The lighting was soft, Regina had a cup of tea on the table, and a blanket she had been resting underneath. The woman herself was shoeless but it didn't matter, she sat upright and rigid on the cushions, any hint of her relaxing evening were long gone from her posture.
The older woman sat there, every inch the monarch she had been, stiff, reserved, defensive and watching Emma. And it unsettled Emma, yes she was tired, but this was not what she had expected when she decided to visit her lover this evening. She knew deep down they were two very broken people and she shouldn't be surprised by any of Regina's responses. After all the woman was anything but predictable, and Emma loved that about her. But when she was vulnerable herself, it became difficult trying to guess how the brunette might respond and to juggle her own feelings, emotions and responses accordingly.
Sitting at home, trying to think about all the things Regina had told her this morning, had left her wondering about her sanity. It sounded so far-fetched, and yet she had lived through it, had seen and felt the proof. She even had her own magic and knew first hand you could hold a heart and someone's life in your palm. And when thinking became too much she tried to distract herself from deep thoughts with light hearted sitcoms. But they didn't hold her interest and she just ended up thinking about the brunette and how she was alone in her big house. Waiting. And wondering if Regina was struggling with the waiting as badly as Emma herself was.
She knew, no matter how she went round it, that she kept coming back to the conclusion staying away from her love would only hurt them both. Regina's past actions bothered her, but when she thought about it, most people had done something in their life Emma didn't agree with or found unsettling. Drinking so much she had no memory of every evening for a week when she got out of prison was an example. Or her parents putting her in a wardrobe was another instance.
Part of life was learning to live with it and recognising those differences in opinion and behaviour were what made everyone unique. It shaped them into who they were and Emma couldn't deny she was attracted to Regina's flaws as much as her obvious assets. Not the murdering flaws, obviously, but the quirky ones.
But she did need to clear just a few things up, to try and get her love let her in. They could only work and have a future if Emma had access behind all the walls and she was going to make a passionate case for that now. She was taking her time and ordering her thoughts to decide how to start off. To help she pulled a chair over and sat so they were face to face, eye to eye.
"Our relationship hasn't been easy. Right from the start you were aggressive and tried to bully me out of the way. You have been downright rude and insulting and I have stood here and taken it. You have tried to be sarcastic, caustic, and challenging and I am still here. And now you are trying to get me out of your house before I open my mouth."
"That's not..." Regina couldn't get the words out as Emma spoke over her.
"Do you think I'm here to shatter your world? Do you think I want to hurt you like that? Do you think I really could?" Hazel eyes caught chocolate ones and held them.
"Every time you think that, think badly of me or even just close off to maintain distance and composure, it hurts me. And I understand, I do. But it still hurts when it happens, even if I know why."
The older woman sat quietly, listening and worrying at her lip to keep herself from interrupting.
"I love you, you know that. There is no point denying it as we have the proof and witnesses. And with my love comes my promise, I am here for you. At what point will you realise that I'm not going to leave you? That I'm still here. That your usual defences just don't wash with me anymore?"
The brunette watched her lover clench her fists in her lap. Emma didn't do sitting still or holding her composure. Not like the woman opposite her could, but that was ok. Regina forced herself to listen to the words and not get distracted by the fidgeting of the blonde.
"You can't push me away with indifference or anger because I know they are a mechanism to protect you and I see through them. You can't push me away anymore. So please, please stop trying."
The blonde ran her hands over her denim clad thighs, drying sweat on the thick fabric. She took a breath and continued.
"And God I get that you have just lost your mother, and that you might need time and space to grieve. I get that you are facing an unknown situation without your magic. I can see you are worried what decision I've made and you could be scared about being left lonely and unloved. But please tell me that, don't dress it up to be something else. Don't try and send me away with some half veiled lie, we both deserve better than that."
"I... it wasn't... that's..." She found herself struggling for words, something she rarely had a problem with. She was proud of her vocabulary and her quick wit, but because Emma had cut straight into her heart she was left dry mouthed. Emma was proclaiming her love, telling her things could be alright, if they just took their time and made an effort. And it answered every single one of her prayers, if she could believe that she deserved it. If she could believe in herself not to hurt Emma and smash this like she smashed everything she ever valued. Could she do that?
"Regina listen to me. Love, any love, is circular until broken. And True love, well the tales say it can't be broken, it comes back on itself in an everlasting ring. We share that, and it won't go away."
Emma continued, "If you don't believe me ask Gold. Hell ask my Parents, you know that is why neither of them are arguing about this relationship anymore don't you? They know it would be pointless to stand in the way of True Love. And I'm sorry if having something in common with my parents upsets you, but you will have to get over it. Maybe at some point things will settle enough that you could have a civil conversation with them, this could be a common interest, but I'm not going to hold my breath."
Regina thought on that remark. Did Emma think part of the problem was that she doubted this was True? Of everything to contest or argue over, Regina had no problem believing this was True Love. She felt it in her veins and in her heart. Her magic, while very weak, knew it too. That wasn't her problem. But what might become a problem were those Idiot Charming Parents Emma had just mentioned.
"You do know your parents are never going to fully accept me in any capacity? They are from The Enchanted Forest where feuds were often lifelong or blood feuds. Meaning they passed from father to son until there were no sons left from one of the warring sides and victory was proclaimed by whoever was still left alive. Our history isn't pretty and forgiveness isn't something often granted."
"My parents can forgive, I'm sure of it." Emma thought back to the conversation with her father, his strength and support. She would need to tell Regina about that and all the other things she had missed. Just not now.
The brunette knew Snow and Charming well, for many more years than Emma, so she was sceptical. But she had changed since they had left The Enchanted Forest, it was possible Snow and Charming had also changed. She knew they might accept, but there would always be some friction. She voiced that to her blonde lover.
"I am likely never going to be good enough for you in their eyes. You need to understand that Emma. I will still roll me eyes at every single one of their inane comments and they will huff in indignation when they think I am overbearing with Henry, and there will always be hidden resentment and possibly resistance. It is never going to be a smooth acceptance. Can you really say you will be happy living like that, listening to criticism from both sides and being stuck in the middle as a buffer?"
All Emma saw when Regina said that was another wall, another obstacle she was placing in their way. She wished Regina would stop seeing the negatives and be able to find a positive to cling to. Certainly Emma understood the comments were likely driven by Regina's fear, she had admitted to herself earlier in the day that she was scared too. This was letting go, giving into love and trusting in the emotion and someone else. And she had been commitment phobic since Neal had left her, but she didn't want to be stunted like that anymore. And she knew deep down Regina didn't either, she just needed a little coaxing and reassuring.
Emma wasn't very good at coaxing, but she knew what she wanted to say. In typical Emma fashion it was a little brash and lacked subtlety, "Damn it, we have this love, we are encompassed by this circle, and all you keep trying to do it square it off and hide in the corners! Don't you see you can't keep doing that?"
Emma moved quickly across the short distance separating them to grip an olive skinned hand firmly, and locked eyes fully with Regina, "I get that it is a shock to find out what we have is that strong, I know I wouldn't be your first choice given my lineage and that a part of you might still believe that you are committing a betrayal to your first love. You wonder if you can truly love again with such a dark heart. But I broke a sleeping curse for you, with our love. Me, the one who struggled with believing in magic and fairy tales, so if I can accept and believe, then you certainly can."
"That is furthest from my mind. I believe this is True. That isn't what I am scared of Emma. It isn't the darkness in my heart or you lacking in some way."
"Then what is it? Talk to me and make me understand." She squeezed the hand she had captured and smiled at the older woman, pleading with her eyes to be given a chance, to break this cycle they were in where one or both of them pulled away.
"It is that everyone I love or care for, dies. Look at the corpses splayed out behind me, I am the common factor, proximity to me ends lives. Even Henry turned away from me and wanted nothing to do with me. And if I didn't end them myself, and very often I have, soldiers were slaughtered, peasants in my path obliterated, countless lives that touched mine were then extinguished. Being close to me is like poison Emma and I don't want to infect you. It would kill me to know I led you down that path to death because you refuse to let me go."
"So you want to hide? You would rather ignore what we have and be lonely? Find a dark corner and collapse self pityingly into it? Where is the woman who fought so hard? The one driven enough by her own passion and desire to never stop?"
"I don't think you want me to become her again Emma, she is unstable and her strength came from madness and dark magic."
"No, you're right, I don't want her. But I do want you. And I want you to fight for us and to want to be with me. And I'm not saying you have to be the only one to change. I'm not laying this all on you." Emma told the older woman. "I need to work on communication too. And I'm sure I annoy you and upset you from time to time, so this needs to work both ways. I will try and listen if you have a problem with something I have done, rather than jokingly tell people you have gone all Evil Queen again. Comedy and joking is one of my defences, like shutting people out is yours. I don't mean it if I mock your suggestions or input, I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my own feelings. I want to change for you, so you are proud of me and I want you to trust me enough to say out loud those comments and judgements that I see in your eyes. Love me enough to tell me the truths you keep hidden and be your partner in every way."
"I do love you, more than my own life. Which is why I tried putting your safety and needs before my own." Regina extracted her hand and ran it through her hair.
Emma watched the action, the motion through the soft, silky strands and she wished it was her hand. But she knew it was a nervous gesture, one designed to break their physical contact and create distance.
As the brunette dropped her hand into her lap Emma said, "What about if I said I need you. More and more every minute. You feel it too don't you? The pull between us?"
"Yes I feel it. But blithely giving into it isn't necessarily the best option."
"Why are you so stubborn?" Emma cupped her chin, resting her head in her palm and openly stared at the brunette. The challenge she was laying down was clear.
Regina wanted to say it wasn't stubbornness, it was self-doubt. Emma had asked for honesty and this was how the older woman was choosing to give it to her. Explaining all the problems they could face and warning the blonde in her own very specific, unpopular way.
Emma pouted her lips and the older woman found it endearing. But getting distracted in physical attributes wasn't helping them converse. Despite the fact that she felt her heart beat increase and body respond in a very physical way. She was wearing a thin silk blouse and crossed her arms to hide the effect on her nipples.
"I just have more focus than you, we can't just go giving into our urges, however strong they are."
"I wasn't just talking about that. I wonder why you continue to cling to this idea you are no good for me." The blonde scooted closer, barely sitting on the chair and was inside Regina's personal space. They traded breathes they were that close as she reached out and cupped Regina's face.
For just a moment the older woman leaned into the contact before sitting back on the sofa and severing their touch. The gesture set her skin tingling and her breath hitched, she hoped the blonde didn't notice.
"Because I'm not good for anyone, ask the populous of this town."
"It isn't like that anymore." Emma argued. "Snow has actually got good support for you being Mayor again. You have changed and they are changing their opinions of you."
"I am amazed at the level of forgiveness shown to me by this town, but should you get hurt either by my hand of because of your connection to me, the blame and anger will all come flying back at me. And rightfully so."
The blonde shook her head but Regina carried on, "And the person who will hate me most, who will point the finger of guilt most firmly? That will be me. I could never forgive myself if you were hurt."
Emma wished Regina could let go of the past. It wasn't a predestined blueprint for their future together. As she was trying to work out the best way to tell Regina that the brunette continued to speak.
"You killed my mother and put me under a sleeping curse to save my life. Our love has already faced so many difficult and complex challenges and I believe this was just the start. And I don't think you understand how hard loving me will be, I don't think you are ready for it or should have to be put through that. You can walk away now, start again without me. You have Henry, your parents, friends. And you can still go back to them without any shame if we end this. Admitting we aren't right for each other and that I'm a risk you just couldn't accept taking. If we do that then I am certain you can learn to love again."
"I don't want that. The love I have for Henry and my parents is a different type than what we have. And I want to be greedy and selfish for once in my life, I want to have it all."
"Well maybe you can't. Maybe you have to choose, and no-one would blame you for choosing your blood relatives instead of me."
"I don't believe I will have to make that decision. Why do you?"
"Because life is full of sacrifice and magic always comes at a price. Even True Love, the greatest magic. Let me pay the price, let me go and move on with your life. Let your family fill the void breaking our love will leave you with. You have to believe that in time your heart will mend."
"Oh yeah, because it mended for you, didn't it? You accepted Daniel's death and eventually moved on!" Emma reared back and clenched her fists again.
The brunette's eyes blazed and the vein in her forehead made an appearance as the muscle in her jaw ticked. Emma knew she had hit her lover hard, mentioning Daniel was a low blow.
The brunette was seething but she was able to keep control of her voice as it dropped low, "I was alone, I had no-one to help me deal with the heartbreak and deep aching emptiness. You have Snow and Charming to comfort you and Henry to funnel all the love into. He is a much better prospect and more deserving recipient than I could ever be."
"You deserve it!" Emma raised her voice. This wasn't what she wanted, she had hoped they could have a sensible conversation, remain calm and rational. She didn't understand why the two of them became so agitated together. "And why do you think there is a limit to love? You don't think I can love Henry and love you and still care about my parents and friends. Do you think I'll run out of love?"
"No, I know you will continue to love me, even when it is destroying you. You are as stubborn as I am and won't give in and admit defeat. Don't make me watch you destroy yourself."
"Believe me, our love won't destroy me, it is a source of strength. Please believe in us, believe in the world where you come from, where magic is strong and love is pure."
"I think you have a distorted view of the Old World, that is the perfect "Snow White" version you describe. I lived in an entirely different land."
"Then maybe you are due a change of scenery and I'm here to help you usher it in. I know you have been burned before, so have I. But that isn't a reason to deny ourselves another chance."
The blonde pressed on, "I kind of wish I was still ignorant to it all, the fairy tales, the magic, your past murderous deeds. I wish it was just you and me and a fresh start, but it isn't. And I accept that, and that it won't always be easy. But I can't ignore our love, however much easier you think that would be. It isn't how I'm made. I can't ignore that sitting here I can feel the pull between us. My head is still a mess and likely will be for quite a while, but we are lovingly connected and my body and heart know it."
"And that is what I love about you Emma. You're a good person, true to yourself and other people. A loyal friend who investigates, and asks questions. You were the right choice for Sheriff because of it, and I am glad Henry found you and brought you here. And regardless of my comments at the hospital, or whatever happens here tonight, I do love you. I am sorry I denied it, that I am responsible for breaking it and hurting you. I am only acting for everyone's best interests."
"Thank you for apologising." Emma knew Regina hardly ever apologised and that this was one of those times to accept it and not linger on it.
The silence spun out, both women locked eyes and hardly dared breath. Emma let the apology sink in, before she opened her mouth and told Regina in the most level and serious voice she could, "And you're wrong. We're not broken. And pushing me away isn't in anyone's best interest."
And then she snapped, she couldn't go round in her head anymore. She couldn't argue the good and bad points, she shelved it all and went with her heart. If Regina was adamant about rejecting her then she'd have to do it now.
Emma lunged forward, pushing the older woman into the cushions behind her, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss.
Emma knew they hadn't sorted very much out, except she had made it clear what she wanted. And as Regina allowed the kiss, biting on Emma's lip in retaliation for the sudden and shocking move, Emma knew she had reached the end of Regina's arguments and reservations. Regina wanted her too, she just didn't want to admit it.
She halted the kiss as she felt salt in her mouth and realised that the brunette was crying. She cupped her face with both hands and wiped the tears away with the pads of her thumbs.
"I love you, I chose you." Emma smiled warmly, her eyes shining with her intensity. "Don't cry, I'm not that bad." Emma soothed.
And she knew they'd iron it out later, possibly with Archie, but right now, as she received a watery smile before suddenly her arms were full of a sobbing, shaking woman and Emma just held on tight. She was a strong and solid and safe support for her lover. Regina had let her last wall down, her last argument had failed and the blonde smiled softly. The woman was beautifully flawed, and she needed a lot of rebuilding, but Emma would stand there and help her with every step.
She was peppering kisses to the crown of the older woman's head before she knew what she was doing. And Regina was clinging to her, burrowing into her neck and shoulder, dampening Emma's skin with her tears.
The blonde stroked brown hair and rubbed her back in what she hoped were soothing circles and let the older woman begin to calm in her embrace. As Regina used her lips on the sensitive skin of Emma's neck, dropping kisses there, Emma felt her arousal spike. Her body responded to the proximity of the other woman and clenched, her magic flaring and her heart beating harder in her chest.
The blonde tightened her arms and then she had lifted the brunette and was carrying her towards the stairs.
Emma knew they were both tired, that this wasn't going to be a marathon event. But she needed to do this, to confirm her promise. To confirm their love. And it had been too long since they had shared any real loving touches. Assuming Regina wanted that, and from the hands clutching her and words of urging she was having whispered into her ear, the brunette wanted it.
"I love you." Regina told her, Emma responded with, "Then let me love you."
A nodded response and more kisses along her jawline and neck were all she needed to know that they were both in desperate need of physical contact, that this was long overdue.
Regina felt Emma's love flowing through her, felt her heart beat as strongly as she felt the arms holding her. And yes she was tired, but her body wanted this, wanted to be close to the younger woman. Wanted to hold her True Love in her arms.
They got to her bedroom and Emma lowered her to her feet. Without words they both stripped themselves and crawled under the sheet, fingers entwining, before naked bodies rolled together.
Regina stroked her hand down Emma's face, tracing a cheekbone before running her fingers gently over her lips, then replacing her fingers with her mouth for their first proper, consensual and conscious kiss in weeks.
She moaned, she couldn't help it and she felt Emma's hands grasp at her hips as they both delved with tongues, stroking, chasing inside each other's mouths.
Her hand continued down the blonde's neck, over her collarbone, the pressure gentle and leaving goose bumps in its wake, stopping at a breast where she massaged, squeezing the flesh that filled her hand.
The blonde allowed her to roll them so Regina was on top, dominating the kiss, but Emma slipped her thigh between the older woman's legs eliciting another moan as she ground down, finding the pleasurable pressure against her clit.
The blonde broke the kiss and descended to her neck, kissing and nipping, then to her shoulder, pressing kisses into the warm, uniquely scented skin. She continued down as Regina sat further upright and began to ride her thigh, smearing it with her arousal.
As the brunette rocked, her breasts quivered and Emma couldn't help herself, she wanted one in her mouth. They were perfect, the darker areola with a tight, erect nipple and Emma quickly latched on, sucking before using her teeth. And the hiss that answered her spurred her on, and Emma wasn't surprised when she found a hand cupping her head and holding her close. She knew Regina liked to really feel her love, in the soft and the harsher touches.
So she lashed at the nipple with her tongue, breathing deeply in her loves scent, both from her skin and from the fluid seeping from her centre and permeating the air between them. And it ramped her own arousal up a notch as she bite down again and the brunette's breathing hitched and became slightly ragged.
"God Emma. So good." Regina vocalised but with her mouth occupied all Emma could do was moan her own acceptance of the fact.
"Darling?" And the breathless quality thrilled the blonde, who had her hands running up and down the tan skin on thighs, up to hips, helping guide the movement, then back down to grip the firm ass.
She grudgingly released the breast she had captured and looked into the lust blown eyes above her.
"Please touch me, it's been too long my love."
And Emma agreed whole heartedly, so she tipped her lover forward into a kiss as she ran her fingers between the brunette's spread legs and dipped into the heat waiting there.
She didn't penetrate, just ran her fingertips lightly through the soaked folds, collecting juices before coming back to dab it all over her lover's clit.
And at the contact on her most sensitive area Regina lurched forward, truly plundering Emma's mouth. Her tongue was wild, stroking against the blonde's. Each tongue stroke was being mirrored on her clit, Emma stimulating her in the best way. Or that was what she thought until Emma sat up just a little and urged her to raise herself up before the blonde slipped two fingers from her other hand straight into her tight centre.
"Oh, YES." Regina ripped her mouth away as she straighten up and impaled herself onto Emma's thrusting fingers, her hips rotating to get the deepest pleasure she could.
The blonde smiled, this was a beautiful sight, her lover gasping, working herself closer and closer to her release, allowing Emma's eyes to roam over her toned body.
Regina had one hand resting on the mattress just above Emma's shoulder, giving her the leverage to rock against both sets of Emma's fingers, stimulating her entrance and also slipping firmly over her clit. Her other hand reached to Emma's breast and began pinching the nipple that sat upright begging for attention.
"Fuck." Emma swore as Regina punished her breast, a little pain mixing into her pleasure, but she didn't mind. Her brain was blurring, she could feel Regina getting tight round her fingers and the tell-tale sign of the brunette's breathing began to accelerate.
"I've missed you," Emma gasped out, "You're so beautiful and feel so good. I want you to come all over my fingers."
To help her lover along she sped up the stroking on the woman's clit, her fingers moving like lightening as they brushed repeated over the engorged bundle, knowing it would only add to the enjoyment the older woman was feeling.
As Regina reached her peak her hips became jerky and she bore down more heavily on the fingers, a guttural cry leaving her lips as she finally slowed her rocking and panted heavily into Emma's ear, "I love you."
And Emma knew it, felt in every muscle of her body but most strongly in her heart that she swore was hammering in time with the other woman. She was so aroused, bound to Regina, the brunette's feelings pushing her dangerously close to achieving her own pleasure, her orgasm near without being touched.
She mewled, overtaken by need as she canted her hips upward searching for some relief and felt lips quirk into a smile at her neck.
"I'm sorry, that was selfish." She heard whispered in her ear before Regina was crawling down her body and settled between her legs.
She moaned long and low as Regina used her tongue to part her folds and lick her from centre to clit, sucking on her bundle of nerves and scrambling Emma's thoughts as pleasure began to wash over her.
As the brunette entered her lover with two fingers while tonguing her clit and she felt the blonde's thighs begin to shake and so intensified the movement of her tongue.
Emma had fisted the sheets in her hands, her heels digging into the mattress as her back bowed. Her breath was ragged and she closed her eyes, she wanted to scream Regina's name, but she couldn't get enough air into her lungs as her body felt like it was combusting, nerves singing and muscles contracted so tight.
Regina could feel Emma's pleasure, as she climbed higher her magic slipped and leaked out. And Regina's body sucked it up, just as her mouth soaked up the juices from her centre. The brunette felt the warm and gentle buzzing return throughout her body as Emma began to thrash.
Emma peaked quietly, no longer able to vocalise much of anything in her haze. Her hips rocking as she rode Regina's talented tongue she was able to just about breathe out her lovers name on a sigh. Regina licked her lips, a satisfied smile on her cum covered face. As Emma drew in a few deep breaths and tried to calm her rapidly hammering heart the brunette quickly moved up the spent woman's body before she collapsed into waiting arms.
Within minutes they were both asleep, exhaustion winning the battle over willpower.
Emma woke and enjoyed the weight pressed into her side, brunette hair fanning across her chest as soft snores were breathed over her breasts.
And just that had her nipples tightening. Which didn't help as she was very aware they still had things to sort out, she hadn't even voiced her suggestion, let alone had a discussion about it.
As she lay there trying to think of what to say she heard a sleepy voice tell her, "You are thinking too hard."
"Morning." She answered, brushing their lips together gently.
The brunette propped herself on an elbow and asked, "What were you thinking about?"
"How sinfully good you look nakedly draped over me." Emma quipped.
"Mmm." Regina rolled away and stood from the bed, stretching her arms above her head to get the kinks out of her muscles. "I think I'll quickly shower and then make us breakfast, before we get distracted all over again." She let her eyes wander over Emma's naked body, her gaze predatory. Licking her lips she spun round and moved to the bathroom to relieve herself and turn on the water for her shower.
Emma lay there thinking what a tease the older woman could be. Maybe she could put off the conversation and join her in the shower? But she knew she couldn't, so she got up, pulling on yesterday's pants and shirt and went to make them both coffee.
When she returned with the coffee she found Regina naked, bent over as she towelled her legs dry. Emma felt her mouth go dry. God that ass, those legs. Regina felt the burn of Emma's gaze on her and straightened, the towel held against her front. She quirked an eyebrow and Emma just licked her lips and gave her towel covered front a lustful look.
"I made coffee because I wanted to ask you something." Emma began. It was hard because all her mind kept seeing was expanses of naked skin. She needed to concentrate.
Regina dropped the towel and stalked over to her, pulling the coffee cup from her hand. "Thank You." She whispered against the pale lips before moving backwards slowly and settling on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed as she leaned back and gave Emma a feral smile, before sipping at the warm beverage.
Emma watched, bewitched by the older woman. She wanted her, she felt her own desire thundering through her and she couldn't help her own eyes feasting on the skin being displayed to her. She looked at the taut skin covering the brunette's stomach, the curve of her breasts that moved gently with the each inhale and exhale the woman made. The nipples were erect and Emma wanted to take them between her teeth and nip at them the way the brunette liked.
Emma knew this was a losing battle, the brunette obviously didn't want to talk and was making it increasingly difficult for the blonde to remember why they needed to. With her hair still slightly damp from the shower and no make-up Emma thought she looked stunning. Her skin seemed to glow and Emma knew she'd smell amazing, fresh, clean, hints of apple and vanilla in the body wash, shampoo or moisturiser the woman used.
The older woman sipped at her coffee and Emma watched the lips part round the porcelain and wiped her sweating palms on her pants. "You wanted to talk?" The brunette woman teased her as she leaned back and put the cup on the bedside cabinet. She uncrossed her legs and leaned back on one arm, the other hand came up and began massaging her breast.
"I thought you might join me in the shower." She pouted, her full lips slightly parted as she sighed at the pleasure her hand was creating as it toyed with her nipple, pulling and rolling it between thumb and forefinger. Her tongue could be seen running over the edge of her teeth before coming out and moistening her lips.
Emma stood, her sight riveted to the treasure between Regina's legs. "Emma." The sound of her name dropping huskily form the older woman's lips brought her back, she lifted her head and saw Regina had stopped playing with her breast. "Come here." A finger beckoned and Emma lost all willpower, not that she had much to begin with.
She practically threw her coffee cup onto the nearest available surface and was across the room in a few large strides, stood between the woman's legs where she could catch the hint of arousal beginning to scent the air. She licked her own lips before she grabbed the woman around the hips and almost threw her further up the bed so she could then fall between the spread legs and plunder the woman's mouth with her kisses.
Emma had been right, as she broke the kiss and ran her tongue along a neck and to a collarbone she could taste the vanilla, the scent of apple shampoo assailed her and she groaned, her own wetness was seeping into her jeans and her nipples were rubbing roughly against the shirt she had thrown on earlier.
She nipped and sucked, sometimes hard enough to leave a mark as Regina ran her hands through her hair, her moans and whimpers urging the blonde on. Emma brought a hand up to palm a breast, the nipple begging for attention, which she supplied, tweaking the nub. She kissed back up Regina's jaw, nibbling on her earlobe and eliciting a gasp as she knew her lover was sensitive there. Then she was diving back in for a kiss, tongue questing deep into the brunette's warm mouth, chasing its mate until they needed to part as they panted for air.
Heartbeats were hammering as Regina reached down and pinched at Emma's clothed nipples, kissing her neck and leaving her own marks as Emma rubbed her jean clad leg against Regina's centre. Her jeans were far from being saved, smeared with her own and the brunette's arousal but she didn't care, not when Regina was rocking against her and whimpering in need.
The brunette had her hands in the back pocket of the jeans, pulling Emma closer but also getting her to straddle a tan thigh. The seam of the jeans added with the pressure from the older woman's leg was dizzying and had Emma vocalising her pleasure, "Ah, Oh, yeah."
"Mmmm." Regina hummed in approval as Emma dropped her head to suckle on a breast. She sucked hard, marking the woman and enjoying the way the brunette threw her head back and called out, "More, Emma, bite down, yes, YES."
Then the blonde was descending the smoothly toned skin, placing kisses as she went until she was nestled between strong thighs, seeing a glistening, seeping centre that she just couldn't wait to taste. Just the smell of being so close had her inhaling deeply, savouring the aroma. She spread the lower lips with her fingers and gently licked over the exposed flesh, moaning her satisfaction as Regina let her know she was hitting the right spots with her increasingly vocal exclamations of "Right there" or "Oh Emma, Yes" or just writhing and whimpering, hips rising to chase the feeling Emma's tongue was building within her.
Her own arousal was at a painful level, as she linked her left hand with Regina's and their connection intensified, she snaked her own down and flicked the button on her jeans, allowing her to slip her hand into her own desire. She would rather it was Regina's hand, but with Emma feasting on her in this position there was no way, and there was no way Emma could last. There joined palms burned as she felt the heat of Regina's love cascade through her body, stoking her arousal and making her moan into the succulent flesh before her.
She buried her head further, wanting to drink in as much as she could, her tongue thrust into the older woman, fucking her as best she could before running the muscle back up to her clit and thrashing it over the nub with determination. A hand was buried in her hair, holding her close as she alternated between sucking demandingly on the hard bud and flicking it with the tip of her tongue.
Her hand danced on her own clit, and she tightened the grip of her other hand, wanting to feel close to the older woman, needed the contact as she felt her body begin to climb towards her orgasm. She needed Regina to come, needed her to finish as spectacularly as she herself was going to. She tried not to focus on her own pleasure as she redoubled her effort on tonguing the brunette's clit and was rewarded with harsh panting and thighs clamping round her head.
As the brunette rolled her hips, and the motion began to become erratic Emma pressed down on her own clit and rode her own hand while sucking hard and nibbling on the woman before her. Emma felt herself teeter on the brink, her own thighs shaking as she struggled to breathe and push Regina over the edge with her. And then Emma felt the added moisture bathe her face as Regina moaned long and low in her throat, her body trembling, signalling her climax as Emma had to lift her face and pant into a thigh from the strength of her own orgasm leaving her breathless.
As Regina stopped spasming, the tail end of her pleasure coursed through her body and left her spent, Emma rolled off her to collapse next to her. The blonde's chest was heaving, she couldn't believe what had just happened.
The brunette studied the ceiling as she caught her breath before running her fingers gently through Emma's hair. It glowed beautifully in the sunlight falling past the gap in the drapes.
"You never cease to amaze Me." she whispered.
"Yeah?" Emma grinned at her.
"I don't know what I did right to deserve you."
Emma saw how relaxed the other woman was and decided this would be her opportunity. She bit her lip nervously before answering the older woman.
"You did lots right, just like you did lots wrong." The blonde told her gently, moving so she was looking down into the brunette's eyes. She knew this was delicate and she didn't miss the flinch the brunette made as Emma didn't coddle her and told her bluntly.
She continued, "Could we maybe start talking about the wrong things, and how you begin to forgive yourself for them? Then maybe you can embrace some of the good things in your life?"
"If it is the past can't it stay there?" Regina looked up at her with big eyes, pleading for Emma to let this go.
"If it wasn't going to affect our future you know I'd say yes. But both of our pasts, they don't stay buried. We make bad decisions because of it every day. I think it's time we made a good decision and spoke to Archie."
A look of pure panic danced across Regina's face, but Emma reached down and held her face firmly, so she couldn't look away. She tried to pour all her love and support into the look, but the brunette still looked terrified. Emma let go of her face and blew out a frustrated breath. This wasn't going to be an easy road, she knew that, but as Regina rolled away from her and curled up into herself Emma knew the hardest thing would be getting Regina to open up and agree to this.
Regina lay on the bed facing away from the blonde. Her knees tucked into her stomach, her arms hugging round them and she let out a strangled noise. Emma was asking too much, was prying her open and she just wanted to run far away. But she didn't have the strength. As she felt a hand placed against the flat of her back and begin to rub soothing circles she broke completely, a cry of anguish coming along with wracking sobs.
"We have to stop doing this to ourselves." Emma told her, holding her tight and softly stroking the brunette's back.
"Doing what?" So quiet and a hitch as the older woman breathed out her sorrow.
"Punishing ourselves and each other because of our past. We need to deal with our issues. Properly."
The insinuation was clear and Emma felt the brunette tense immediately. She just rubbed the expanse of skin a little more firmly, conveying love and support as she said,
"We blame ourselves, we blame each other, and we lash out or repress or hide. We are both messed up and I don't want that to mess this up, or have it mess up our kid."
"Can't I talk to you?" Regina looked over her shoulder with big eyes, vulnerability and fear shining along with the tears in them.
"Definitely." Emma agreed, "But I'm not qualified to help you deal with a lot of it. Archie is."
"He is a bug, only qualified because of a curse."
"A curse that instructed you in how to drive a car and Snow how to teach children about this world's math, spelling and history. Something that was equally foreign to you both and yet the skills are real. So is his qualification, and coupled with his natural patience you know he isn't a bad therapist. You sent Henry to him for months, so you must have had faith in him."
Emma pulled on her shoulder and rolled her over, so she was on her back as the tears began to dry on her face and her breathing regulated. She looked down on her lover and just saw beauty. Even with tear tracks down her flawless skin. She hated making her cry, but she knew Regina felt safe enough with her to show that vulnerability. She laced their hands together and brought them to her lips, gently kissing Regina's knuckles. The brunette didn't pull away, which indicated to Emma she was softening slightly to the idea. But only slightly, Emma knew she would still need to work at this to get some level of agreement.
Regina huffed out her frustration, Emma had been right about skills the curse imparted, "It wasn't faith, it was just there wasn't much choice, and mental health issues weren't top of my agenda when designing the cursed land."
Emma felt the atmosphere between them, it was tense and tight. She needed to break that, this felt like it was on the cusp of blowing up into another petty argument. She tried to diffuse it with humour, "I disagree." The blonde grinned deviously, "Pretty sure you were well past gaga when you cast the curse."
Regina's mouth dropped open and Emma giggled at her expression. The brunette was suddenly poking her in the side and she quickly stopped giggling, an "Ow!" falling from her lips instead.
The mood lightened a touch as Regina harrumphed and then burrowed into Emma's arms, needing contact, anything to anchor her because this conversation, it was scary and it left her feeling adrift with emotions and memories threatening to overtake her. Emma held her, letting her take as much time as she needed. Regina just breathed in the smell of her hair while refusing to dignify the previous comment with an actual answer.
"Look," Emma tried again after several minutes where she felt Regina had relaxed, "It is well known I have trust and abandonment issues to name a few of the things I think I could benefit from discussing."
She reached down and tipped the brunette's face back so she could look at her and let her see the honesty "I don't want to go, I know you don't either, but I think we need to. I meant it downstairs, I'm not perfect, and I never will be. But for you, I want to be better. And this is my suggestion on how we both get there. If you have a better idea, I'm happy to try that."
Emma watched the plump lips downturn in disgust as Regina's brow furrowed. But the brunette couldn't think of anything different to suggest but that didn't stop the doubtful look that crossed her face and pain that flooded into her eyes. Very clearly, she didn't want to do this.
Emma ploughed on, "We can go together or separately, but we can't go on like this. You're clearly grieving. We are both broken and carrying round blame, guilt and family issues. It makes you either push everyone away or hang on so tight you suffocate people. And well, you know I love my parents, but they are a bit much and I think talking through some coping mechanisms that aren't destroying a toaster would be helpful."
"Sounds like a perfect reason to banish you from my kitchen."
Emma smiled gently down at the older woman. "Don't change the subject, and I cooked you a perfectly edible meal last time I was in your kitchen."
"Yes you did." And the older woman reach up and pecked the other woman on her nose, letting her know that the weight of the conversation wasn't going to cause an argument. It was a simple gesture but it conveyed that she was invested and listening. And she was aware the concern came from a place of love.
"Just think about it, take a moment and be rational. You have been through a lifetime of pain and hurt. It isn't unreasonable to need help dealing with that. And forget the Enchanted Forest and all the old style crap about being strong to survive. You are allowed to ask for help, it doesn't make you weak. And even if it does, what do you have to lose this time? A crown – no, long gone. Me – no, I'm recommending the idea. Henry? Well he loves Archie and will only see you trying to get better. Everyone else can fuck off if they have a problem with it."
"I think of all the things to have happened recently, me going into therapy isn't going to be the thing upsetting the town. I think me sexually corrupting their Saviour probably tops that list."
"Eh." Emma shrugged. "Their Saviour enjoyed it." She grinned before sobering and adding, "But if we move past the sexual corruption and we want to have a proper, meaningful relationship we need to go and see Archie and actually talk. Not just cover up the cracks with banging hot sex."
She was met with full, pouty lips. "I am sure somewhere in your head, that sounded like a compliment."
"How is it not?" Emma shook her head so her blonde curls bounced around them.
All she got in response was a sigh before Regina steered them back on topic and asked with a neutral voice, "So how do we start this process?"
"There are months, probably years' worth of discussions, so let's just put ourselves in Archie's hands. Make an appointment. They say the first step is the hardest."
Regina was quiet for a few minutes, but Emma took heart, she hadn't said no and seemed to be open about trying this.
The brunette's voice was quiet as she asked, "If we went together, will there be any surprises I find out about you?"
"No, I have been nothing but honest with you. What about you? Anything you wish to share while we are baring our souls?"
"I have been honest with you, I hope you believe me. That isn't why I'm asking this."
"Asking what?" There was a dubious quality to Emma's question.
"If you are pushing me to make appoinments and talk with the Bug, I'd like a few appointments on my own."
Emma was surprised and it must have shown on her face. Regina quickly looked down as she said, "I know Archie is really quite a good therapist and at some point, probably sooner rather than later, he'll get me to talk about my life in your grandfather's castle."
Regina still refused to look up, "If I am going to discuss The King I would rather you weren't there for that."
Emma sadly nodded her understanding, "Yeah, you can deal with the shit my grandfather put you through with Archie, I know enough that I'd happily kill the old bastard all over again and that is without knowing any further graphic details."
"Maybe that is something you could speak to Archie about separately? That anger has no vent and the man was still your grandfather, you need to accept his actions towards me were very different to how he would have treated you as his first grandchild."
"I'd rather deal with some more pressing issues with people who are alive and I have to interact with daily, but maybe that can go to the back of the list? I know I need some direction and help opening up and talking about being abandoned by my parents, my foster families, Neal and giving up Henry. And how I moved into unhealthy coping mechanisms that I got caught up in and how to curb using them even now."
"Drink?" Regina empathised.
"Mostly drink, I kept up with the petty theft for a while too as a lashing out tactic, and until you I only ever had one night stands. It broke my ability to form connections or want meaningful relationships. After all, everyone left me behind, so I might as well be the one leaving first."
"I used drink early on, but magic soon eclipsed that as my crutch."
"You don't say!" Emma tried to lighten things with her goofy smile and somewhat succeeded.
"Now I am crutchless." Regina frowned.
"Well we still have drink." Emma quipped.
"I am pretty certain giving up drink is one of the goals of this therapy idea of yours." Regina smiled at her.
"Oh damn." Emma's grinned widened. "I knew I hadn't thought this through properly."
They shared a kiss, soft lips brushing against one another's before Regina pulled away. "So are you going to make the appointment with The Bug then?"
"Not right now." Emma told her, "I have a beautiful, naked woman in my arms who has just agreed with one of my plans. That never happens to me. So I feel invincible and am going to show her how proud I am of her."
Any retort was being immediately kissed away as Emma pounced, joining them at the lips and pulling the older woman flush against her.