The life of the retired rock artist wasn't glamorous, and this was what Zander Maximillion found so appealing in it. There were less flashes of light, sweaty nights on stage, angry managers, and attacks from pseudo-religious fanatics. It was quiet, and at a pace he determined.
But man was it boring.
Sitting on his couch, Zander plucked at the strings of his guitar, eying between the instrument in his lap to the one he had only just brought it, taking up much of the once empty space. The piano gave him an object to stare at, but only that. With a sigh, he stood up, preparing to play a note or two on the large music-machine.
With the ringing of the doorbell, Zander spun instantly around, grinning with the smallest hint of uncertainty. Up over his chair he jumped and through the short hallway he moved. Finally he unlocked the door and found a familiar figure before him.
"Dipper!" Zander leaned on the side of the doorway, eyeing the boy before him. There was something odd about him- his hair was... long. "Nice wig," Zander pointed to him, "what's it for?"
Dipper Pines, now female, stared up at Zander. She had pulled her vest tightly together, in attempts to avoid anyone noticing the changes to his body. What she couldn't hide as well as her chest, was her voice. Dipper opened her mouth and coughed. The voice was too high pitched. Again she lowered the tone. That was it- that was her old voice.
"Hey, uh, Zander," Dipper started, her now more skinny hands in her pockets, "mind if I come in for a sec?"
"Sure dude," Zander nodded and stepped aside, adjusting his scarf around his neck as Dipper shuffled past. "Man, that's got to be the nicest wig I've ever seen."
"Ha ha, thanks," Dipper managed to force out as she turned towards Zander's kitchen. "Uh... do you mind if I have some water, or something?"
"No!" Zander roared, and then grinned at her. Walking over to the refrigerator, the door whisked open, and Dipper saw the contents. Water bottles- lots of water bottles. "Here you go, man," Zander winked at her as he tossed one to Dipper. Someone pre-occupied, Dipper half-caught it, having one half hit her in the neck.
"Ow," Dipper grumbled, rubbing her neck. Zander eyed her, and Dipper realized she had groaned in her new voice. With a cough, she adjusted and shrugged. "Thanks for the water," she told him, doing her best to stay within her old sounding tone.
"No problem. So, what's brought you back to my humble abode?" Zander asked him, leaning on the counter, watching Dipper open his drink and drown half the bottle in a single swig. "Or did you just need water that badly?"
"Uh... not exactly," Dipper admitted, her cheeks flushing.
The plan had been to get to Zander, inform him of the change, and then enlist his help in switching her back. Yet as her eyes looked around at the strangely clean kitchen, Dipper wandered if she should thought a tad more than just the arrival. Now, in his presence, as a woman, Dipper felt very nervous. What if Zander got all... flirty with her? Or worse yet, had the exact same reaction she was sure Mabel would have.
To her horror, Dipper watched Zander's eyes widen, twinkle, and he sighed.
"Ahhh, I see," Zander said with his trademark perfect smile.
"Wh-what?" Dipper stumbled, splashing some water on her vest. Zander pushed off from the counter and stepped closer to her. With a hand on Dipper's shoulder and a pleasant smile on the man's face, Dipper swallowed quickly and stared at him.
"I thought I noticed something," Zander stated, pointing at Dipper. With a sigh, Zander, nodded to the hallway, "follow me."
Dipper had already begun to sweat, her neck and hands becoming clammy as she felt the droplets of moisture accumulating around her fingers. With her pace just behind that of Zander's, they moved towards the living room. Was he going to try seducing her? Why else would he go to the living room- where he could serenade her with the guitar? Or maybe the piano? Dipper didn't know where she had been realized- what gave it away? Her voice only cracked once or twice...
Then Zander walked all the way through, pushing open the sliding door, and nodding for Dipper to follow. "You're not afraid to get dirty are you?" Zander asked as he stepped into the porch.
Dipper felt sick as she felt her stomach lurch. "W-what?!"
"Put these on," Zander tossed a pair of thick leather gloves to Dipper.
Dipper blinked and stared at the very nice, smooth gloves in his hands. They were wide and cumbersome looking. Looking back to Zander, Dipper saw the man step off the porch and towards a pair of small bushes by the hedge, still in plastic pots.
"You ever garden, Dipper?" Zander asked her.
"I, uh, not really," Dipper admitted sheepishly.
"Everyone should at least once," Zander told her as he lifted both large plants into the airs around his arms, "shows you the difference between neglect and care."
"I... okay," Dipper laughed to herself and slipped the gloves on. This guy wasn't the strangest man she had ever met, but was certainly among the more mysterious. The champion of metal and lead singer of Duskhope liked... gardening? "So what are they?" Dipper asked as she stepped up to Zander as he walked to the far end of the hedge maze, where a single worn gate stood. Past the gate was the green wilderness of the Gravity Falls forests.
"Wolfsbane," Zander told her as he placed each by either side of the door. Dipper gasped as she stared at the plant.
"What!? But they're crazy rare to find, and stupidly expensive!"
"Yup. Thousands of dollars just to have them shipped from Romania," Zander told him, and then pointed to a small table to his side, "go grab a hand shovel or something." Dipper nodded as she stood, and approached. The list of small gardening tools was impressive. Dipper found one she thought would perform the task, and turned back. As she got to her knees, feeling the soft grass underneath her, Dipper glanced back to Zander just as he plunged his own hand-shovel into the back-lawn, and started to cut out a circle.
"How... how do I-"
"Just cut out a circle in the grass, and then dig a hole two feet down," Zander answered, not bothering to look at Dipper as he followed his instructions. Dipper nodded and hacked away, chopping up the grass as best she could. "Pace yourself," Zander told Dipper with a glance over, "if you fight this, you and my lawn will lose."
"Dang- sorry-"
"It's okay," Zander grinned and looked back to his circle. "So," Zander continued after a moment of the two cutting into the lawn, "I heard you and Mabel fighting outside."
"What?" Dipper dropped her shovel and looked back to Zander. The rock star still wasn't looking at Dipper. She continued to weave the garden incision with care. "...sorry," Dipper apologized as she wandered how much the man may have overheard, "we kind of let that get out of hand."
"Just a bit," Zander stated, and winked at Dipper. "You want to tell me what's so important that you scared away the cops from my yard?"
Dipper paused from her cutting and digging to think. The topic was, partially, the man sitting across from him, digging into the earth. This was, as Dipper's offended mind thought, a chance to get back at Mabel. Tell him that Mabel was head-over-heels for him and that she keeps making rash choices because of how she feels towards others.
"Uh... well," Dipper paused her angered self, and took a breath, "there's this guy she likes, and there's this girl I like," Dipper started out. Dipper waited for Zander to ask anything, but he was silent. "And we had a little argument about how we feel... about those things. And that's it."
"Hmm," Zander hummed as he continued to work, and glanced over to Dipper's work. The teen suddenly understood why he was staring- Dipper hadn't accomplished nearly as much work as Zander had. She bent down and continued to cut and dig. "Sounded rough."
"Yeah," she nodded as she dug further, "we've just got this mystery that I want to solve, and I wanted to be working on it more, but Mabel's been more interested in other stuff," Dipper sighed.
"With this boy of hers?" Zander asked.
"Yeah."
"And you with Wendy?"
"How did you-"
"Dipper," Zander chuckled and gave her a glance, "I'm a musician. It's my job to hear things."
"Well... yes," Dipper nodded as she sighed. "I used to like her a while ago. Mabel and I don't live up here- we just visit our Grand Uncle Stan. Last time was three years ago, and I, well, liked Wendy then."
"Cute," Zander said as he started lifting dirt out from the hole. "And you still do?"
Dipper stared at the circle outline in the patch of dirt before her. The answer used to be straight forward, and one she wouldn't want to share. Yet Zander seemed... surprisingly understanding. "It's kind of complicated."
"You're learning more about her then," Zander said as he began to wiggle out the wolfbane plant from it's plastic case. Dipper gaped as she watched Zander glance to him and continue. "Look, there's nothing wrong with young love, but when it comes to truly understanding someone, there's more than just what they show to the world."
"Yeah, I noticed," Dipper grumbled as she dug some more. "She's been hiding stuff from me."
"Everyone does that," Zander told her instantly.
"But it could be important!" Dipper shook her head as she she dug harder and faster. "This is a town about crazy mysteries and monsters! What if she got involved with something that hurt her? Or could hurt us? And she won't tell us?"
"Yeah, she may not," Zander shrugged.
"Why? I thought she trusted me," Dipper added as she turned to the plant and stared at it. Then it hit her- she was looking at a rare plant and had dug a hole for it. "Why do you need wolfsbane, anyway?" Dipper asked Zander, turning around to look at him as the rock star lowered his plant into the dirt hole.
"I hear the occasional howl in the night," Zander informed him casually, "just want something around to ward away any werewolf that thinks I could make a good meal," Zander said, and finally let the plant sit in the hole. After a sigh, he looked to Dipper and grinned. "I don't think you're thinking about this clearly, dude."
"But if she's lying to me, me of all people," she continued, "the guy who always solves mysteries and crazy stuff, she can't actually trust me!"
"Well," Zander started to push dirt into the hole with his gloved hands, "you're not wrong. But you're missing a crucial part of the equation. Her own trust in herself."
"Huh?"
"Dipper, if someone holds something so secret they won't share it to anyone," Zander told him as he patted the new patch of dirt, "people began to question themselves. Who can they trust to not vanish when they finally learn the secret. Imagine you held a secret for all your life," Zander pointed to Dipper with his own shovel, "you'd begin to think either nothing of it or everything of it. If you began to think everything of it, the idea of someone discovering that secret would terrify you."
"You think she's scared?" Dipper asked, leaning closer, "of what?"
"Loosing friends, maybe," Zander suggested, and stood up, "friends are easy to get, but harder to keep over time," Zander lifted the second bush from it's pot and Dipper scooped up the last bit of dirt, "because we all can find people we can relate or like, but when we find out more and more of what makes them tick, we need ourselves questioning that friendship."
Dipper nodded, and watched the plant descend into the hole. Some of the leaves brushed against her hair and face- soft to the touch but firm in form. Once situated, Dipper pushed the remaining dirt back in, and stood up next to Zander.
"Real relationships need care," Zander said as he looked at his two newest plants, "they need reminder why they stared in the first place, but have to be willing to grow. Like-"
"A garden?" Dipper suggested, turning to Zander, "you really brought me out here for a life-metaphor?"
"No, I brought you out here to plant something for me," Zander grinned and winked at him. As he turned and nodded for Dipper to follow, he pointed to the tools scattered about, and Dipper went to pick them up. "Dipper, in the end, you have to be willing to understand a friend's reasoning and accept that they make choices that may seem selfish, but are for what they think are in everyone's interest."
"I... I guess," Dipper shrugged, her arms full of tools, "if that's the case, what do I do?"
"See, there's the problem," Zander grinned as he talked away, "it depends on what you want more- answers, or trust?"
"Why can't I have both?" Dipper demanded as he laid the tools down on an outdoor table by the house.
"You can," Zander told him as he stepped onto the porch, turning to look at Dipper, "but just not at the same time. One usually comes after the other." Dipper groaned and put a hand to her eyes. Zander laughed and put a hand to her shoulder, grinning, "dude. If you really like this girl, you know your answer already."
Dipper lowered her hand and stared up at the rock star. Those eyes that were constantly filled with energy and buzzing with life seemed to have calmed. He stared into the soul of a man with wisdom, something he would never have expected from someone who spent his days before crowds of wild fans, screaming and singing his strongest.
"So, you and your sister got into a fight about you and Wendy and this boy of hers," Zander said, "and I believe I heard some angry things from the both of you."
"Yeah..."
"Doesn't sound like you meant it if you're feeling this bad over it," Zander told him as he turned and walked towards those glass sliding doors, "c'mon in. I'll get you another water."
"Thanks," Dipper nodded as she stepped inside and made his way for the couch. Sitting down, she pondered her real intent for being here: gaining help with her predicament. Zander had mildly derailed his plan, but she couldn't hold him against that. The man had organized his thoughts in a strange way. All Dipper could do was grin to herself. Finally Zander appeared, holding a bottle in his hand. He slid next to Dipper on the couch, handed her the bottle, and sighed. "You're not thirsty?" Dipper asked.
Zander gave a watery smile. "Nah," Zander shook his head, "go ahead." Dipper nodded thanks and took a swig of water. As she felt the cool liquid splash down her throat, there was a pair of eyes on him. Zander was staring at him. "You started shaving?" Zander asked, looking to his chin.
Dipper gasped and put a hand to her jaw, feeling the now smooth line. She had forgotten entirely about her growing facial hair. With a gasp, she realized that she may never get the chance to see her proud scruff again.
"Dipper?" Zander asked, "you okay?"
"I'm... no," Dipper turned and looked to Zander. Now or never. "After my fight with Mabel, I went into the woods. I was going to find something you liked alone... you know, to spite Mabel," Dipper admitted, and Zander rolled his eyes. "What I found... uh... changed me."
"That crazy, huh?" Zander asked. Dipper stared back as the rock artists awaited further answer.
"It literally changed me," Dipper said, and removed her beanie, "this isn't a wig."
"Woah! It makes you grow hair!?" Zander asked, "that would be freakin' awesome," Zander said, feeling his own shoulder length blond hair, "maybe I could get it to grow past my shoulders and pony-tail length."
"Uh... it doesn't just make your hair longer," Dipper steadied himself, and finally he let it be said with his newest voice, "it turned me into a girl."
Zander blinked and looked at Dipper, glancing up and down. After a moment, Zander began to smile wider and wider until he chuckled. Then he laughed. "Dipper," Zander said he shook his head, "you're not a girl. Look, voices come and go, and that's just puberty being a jerk. Don't get all self-critical because-"
Dipper groaned and rolled his eyes. "No! It... added certain things."
Zanders smile was frozen in place and his eyes grew wide. After a moment, the rock star's mouth dropped to neutral, and he stared at Dipper, examining his body carefully at a distance.
"Uh... I don't know if I want to provoke a reply, but... I'm not seeing it," Zander admitted.
Dipper groaned, and in a burst of resilience and desperation, she did the only thing he thought would prove his point. Dipper grasped the zipper of his vest, pulled it down, and let the pressure on his chest fall away. Dipper felt the release and drop, and his face heated up by easily twenty more degrees than usual, as it did admittedly feel nicer.
"WHOA," Zander gasped and looked away, holding his hand between his face and Dipper's chest, "Okay, wow. That was... they did look... uh... real."
"They are real," Dipper told him, "I found crystals that turned me into a girl," Dipper told him, "and they aren't turning me back," Dipper added, her voice cracking at the worst part of the whole ordeal.
"Okay. So, uh, do you think you could zip 'em back up, dude?" Zander asked, still not looking towards Dipper, "don't need to, eh, see them any more." Dipper pushed her newly acquainted breasts back into his vest, feeling the cry of resistance as she zipped her vest back up. Zander turned back, slowly checking to see if his view would not include Dipper's newest additions. "Phew. Okay... so... you're a girl."
"What do I do?" Dipper demanded, leaning closer to Zander.
He shook his head, eyes wide as he stared back at Dipper. "I-I-I don't know! Why the heck did you come to me first with this!? You and your mystery club by the Mystery Manor seems a lot better choice than me!"
"I... I wanted to go to someone who wouldn't make fun of me," Dipper admitted, lowering her head as she felt her strength drain. Next to her, she heard Zander sigh and then Dipper felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Well... I'm happy you think I'm that kind of guy, Dipper. I am," Zander nodded his head, but continued to look at the changed boy, "but unless you like your new gender-"
"No! I'm a guy! I want to stay a guy!" she declared.
"Like I thought," Zander nodded. "Then we need to get you help that actually knows a thing or two about this."
"Like who?" Dipper asked. Zander crossed his arms and stared. "No. No way!" Dipper shook her head, stepping up from the couch. "They'll make fun of me for the rest of my life if they know I turned into a girl! And how would I explain this to Mabel!?"
"The same way you would if you had changed your skin color to green or something," Zander told him, "by asking her for help."
"She won't want to help me," Dipper groaned, pulling her new longer hair, "we were jerks to one another. Why should she help me?"
"Because you're her brother," Zander told him. Dipper sighed and leaned against a wall, finally prompting the man to stand up and walk to him. "Dipper, I think Mabel is the kind of person to find the humor in this- "Dipper scoffed, but Zander held a hand up, "albeit, she'd have bad timing with it... she isn't the kind of person to turn you away when you really need her help."
Dipper's heart knew this to be true. It wasn't just true for Dipper: but for everyone. Mabel almost never turned away anyone when they really needed her help. Only those who had made enemies with the twins had she sworn to not help, and even then she always had wished she could. Dipper finally sighed and nodded. "I... I just wanted to not have her lord this over my head for all time."
"Hah!" Zander laughed, and shook his head as Dipper glared at him, "you think that's bad? Man. You must think the rest of your life is this summer, because people make mistakes. Wait until Mabel really, really screws up, and then you can tease her about it whenever she brings up your whole gender-crisis. Heh. Gender-crisis," Zander snickered to himself. Dipper cleared her throat, and Zander shrugged. "Just was funny sounding."
"Fine. I'll ask if Mabel will help me. But what about my Grunkle Stan? Or Wendy!" Dipper gasped, a hand over her heart, "she can't see me like this!"
"Dude. It's not as bad as you think. You're passable as your normal self as long as you tuck your hair... and keep that vest tight," Zander added as Dipper did his best to stuff his hair inside the fabric beanie, which began to bulge awkwardly. "Eh. It'll do," he shrugged as he turned, "c'mon. I'll drive us there."
"You're coming?" Dipper asked.
"Course I'm coming," Zander told him as he marched away, "part of the plan."
"What plan?"
"The brilliant, awesome plan I have," Zander told her as he opened the front door, beckoning Dipper to follow. Once Dipper moved from her wall and outside, Zander continued. "So I'm going to go in first, and make a scene. No one will think any of it because I'm a celebrity. Then, you'll sneak inside from one of those crazy side doors. Everyone will be too busy to realize that you're in the background, grabbing Mabel and whatever else you need."
"That... is a good plan," Dipper acknowledged, "Okay, I'm for it."
"Yeah!" Zander cheered, pumping at the sky with his fist, "awesome! Let's solve this problem and get you your penis back!"
"HEY!" Dipper screamed, hands stiffening to her sides.
"... what?" Zander asked, looking towards Dipper sheepishly, "you... did loose that, right?"
"I'm not even going to answer that question," Dipper told him as her face went beat red. Following Zander towards the driveway, Dipper saw the glorious sports car that was Zander's ride. Polished, smooth and sleek and black in color, it reflected the light pouring from the sky like an obsidian. "Man, this is cool."
"It was a gift," Zander said, "first off the line, so they decided that a celebrity should drive it around and stuff. Jokes on them though- I rode around in a bus until last week."
Dipper was careful as she tracked around the side to the front passenger door. Once inside with Zander, she gasped at the amazing and ridiculous designs that the inside had. She was looking at what appeared to be an entire computer terminal: a massive touch screen for every feature of the car. The wheel's design was covered in leather with red lines around it. It felt like a super-spy car, and Dipper reveled every moment she sat in it.
"One second," Zander said as he pressed a button on the touchscreen, and the gates behind them swung open. "Hold on dude," Zander said. With a press of his thumb to a small scanner next to the wheel, the engine roared to life.
"What do you mean- WOAH!" Dipper gasped as she was lurched forward. The car went from zero to thirty in no time what so ever, and then as Zander straightened up the vehicle and sped forward, the G-forces pressed Dipper against her seat. Zander was laughing already as Dipper re-aligned herself, straightening up and stuffing loose hair back under her hat.
"Warned you," Zander told him with a chuckle.
Dipper pushed herself forward, feeling the strain of the forces as they leveled out to a more moderate speed; the car was slowing down mildly. "Yeah, no kidding. I felt my heart in my throat."
"Got to love a little adrenaline once in a while," Zander said.
"I feel adrenaline too often. Try switching genders,- it hurts!" Dipper proclaimed, which Zander laughed and nodded.
"I bet!" he turned the car down one of the outlying streets, and started towards the Mystery Manor's direction. "So. Your sister. Got a plan of action?"
"I, uh, guess apologize and ask her to help her stupid brother out, before she has a sister for the rest of her life," Dipper grumbled and poked her fingertips together.
"Sounds solid. Sister's love hearing that their brother is dumb. Must be one of those weird genetic things," Zander guessed as he shook his head in thought.
"You make it sound like you have a sister," Dipper said to Zander. The rock star grinned and glanced to Dipper. "You do!?" Dipper gasped, and Zander nodded.
"I'm the oldest of three; a sister and brother," Zander told him.
"Wow! Are they musicians too?" Dipper asked.
Zander shook his head as his smile lingered. "Ah, no. That's just me. They were farming and hunting with my dad and mom."
"Farming?" Dipper asked, "you lived on a farm?"
"Yeah. Way, way long ago," Zander told him, "but, you know. Can't stay on the farm forever when you're stuck with a curse like mine," Zander grinned, and looked to Dipper, "I mean music."
"Have you seen them in a while then?" Dipper asked. Zander's eyes dimmed as he looked ahead, watching the road. Zander may have been one of Dipper's newest acquaintances, but he could have sworn the rock artist held back a response. "So, no?"
"I haven't spoken to my family in a long time," Zander sighed.
"Oh... sorry," Dipper said, having seen the energy the man had before him drain at the mere topic of his family.
"Don't be. It's not like there's bad blood between us or anything like that. Life just... had us go our different ways," Zander shrugged.
"You must miss them," Dipper commented.
Zander nodded, and his eyes adjusted as he looked around the road. "Every day."
"You should go visit them," Dipper suggested. Zander laughed and grinned. "What? I thought you said that there was no bad blood between you and them."
"There isn't."
"Then why-"
"One second," Zander held Dipper's words hostage for a second as he turned the car suddenly, and started up the gravel driveway towards the Mystery Manor. "Okay. Only a minute before we're there."
"Right," Dipper nodded.
"And to answer your question," Zander looked to her, "it's because I still have work I need to do."
"Huh? But you retired," Dipper asked Zander. The man laughed and nodded as he slowed the car further.
"Not all work comes from someone's job," Zander told her slyly, "okay. So why don't you get out now, and creep around the woods to the side entrance. I'll make a commotion inside, and get everyone's attention. Deal?"
"Okay," Dipper nodded. Her door was whisked open and she stepped out. Then her mind called one more time to Zander. She spun around, and put a hand on the hood of the car. "Hey... thanks for helping me."
"No problem dude. Everyone needs help then and again," Zander said.
Dipper sighed and closed the door. With her back to the vehicle, she made her way towards the edge of the woods. She could now see the borders of the edge of the forest, and the tall building just past them. The car behind him sped ahead, dusting the air with pebbles and loose rock.
Dipper was able to sneak around to the newest additions of the building undetected. From the border of the woods she approached the building rooms, and found herself on the porch, moving closer to the side and back of the Mystery Manor. She saw Zander park and leave his car. He only needed to wait for a sound of Zander's announcing presence before striding inside, to the door he knew closest to himself.
A moment later, there was a loud outcry, and Dipper swallowed. It was her turn to act. Quietly and softly as she could, she pulled open the doors that lead to the back hallway, which would lead to the kitchen and bathroom, and eventually the tour rooms. Her feet softly pressed against the floorboards as quietly as she could, moving herself down the hallway. With a quick glance as she passed a doorway, she saw the gift shop. Grunkle Stan and his crew were all present as Zander spoke to them.
"I was hoping I could have a tour set up sometime in the near future?" Zander asked.
"Oh! But of course!" Grunkle Stan nodded feverishly, "now? Tomorrow? Both?"
"Eh, further in the future than that," Zander said as his eyes darted towards Dipper and he gave the man trapped in a woman's body a tiny nod.
Dipper gulped and stepped past the room. Mabel's training had paid off, and Dipper was able to contain her movement's volume to a minimum. Up the stairs she climbed and turned to the left, finding the decorated door that she was certain she would find Mabel in. With a sigh, she pressed her hand against the door and knocked loudly.
To her surprise, Dipper found no reply. Not even a groan, or gasp. Not even a squeal. Instead, as Dipper listened intently by the door, she heard something behind him. Across from their room was the bathroom, and Dipper was certain he heard a small noise inside. With a glance back to her own room, Dipper made for the bathroom and knocked.
"O-occupied," Mabel's voice sniffled through the door. Yet another side emanated from her side, and Waddle's oinks found Dipper.
"Mabel?" Dipper asked quietly. There was a short pause, with exception of a confused squeal from Waddles.
"Who is it?" Mabel asked, "Dipper?"
"Yeah," Dipper said, not bothering to mask her voice. "I'm back."
"One second," Mabel said from inside. Dipper listened for a moment longer, hearing the scrambling sounds of someone rustling around. Then there was a loud bang, and Mabel groaned loudly.
"Mabel!" Dipper gasped, and pushed open the door without considering waiting, afraid she would have hurt herself.
Mabel indeed was on the floor- one foot was out of the small bathtub, and the other was crooked and still inside, along with the rest of her body. Dipper stared at her and sighed. She was rubbing her head, but it seemed more or less she had just bumped it against the tiled back of the wall. Then Dipper saw Mabel's face; she had red cheeks and puffy eyes.
"Mabel, you okay?" Dipper asked as she stepped closer to her sister.
"I'm okay," Mabel shrugged, "just chilling in a bathtub with my pig." Waddles nudged against Mabel's arm. He too was in the tub, his beady black eyes looking from Mabel to Dipper, where he paused and stared. Dipper wasn't certain the abilities of animals, but he was certain the pig noticed the changes.
"Is your head okay?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah, just a stupid little bump," Mabel waved her away.
"What were you even doing in here?" Dipper asked with a chuckle. "Hiding in the bathtub from a fire-elemental?"
Mabel sniffled as she looked at Dipper. Only the tiniest warning prepared Dipper's mind for the coming cry. Mabel placed her hands on her face as tears fell from her eyes. Dipper stepped over and leaned down, next to Mabel.
"I just feel so-"
"Me too."
Mabel looked up, her tears free-falling as she shook her head at Dipper. "Well you shouldn't!" she told him defiantly. "I was being the huge jerk when I said that... that you and Wendy hadn't... UGH!" she buried herself into her arms. Dipper sighed and nodded.
"I'd by lying if I said that didn't sting a bit," Dipper admitted.
"See?" Mabel demanded and continued crying. "That has to be the meanest thing I've said to you in forever. Ever. I can't continue being your sister," she decided and lifted her head. "You are now free to choose a new sibling."
"Mabel, stop it," Dipper told her, pushing her hands to Mabel's shoulder. "I egged you on."
"So?"
"So?" Dipper repeated.
"That was a low thing for me to do," Mabel said as her lips tremble, "and the worst part about it is- is-"
"You meant it," Dipper nodded. Mabel shook her head but said nothing as her face screwed up. Dipper looked to the ground. "I thought so. But... maybe I needed to hear that," Dipper shrugged. Mabel looked up and stared at her, a squint of the ages studying Dipper in all her form. Mabel looked like she had just heard the word of god.
"What?" she demanded.
"I... you know... haven't made progress with Wendy. Sure, I like her," Dipper admitted with a short bob of her head, "but at the same time I just keep a safe distance from her. Like I'm too afraid to put anything on the line." Mabel sniffed and shrugged.
"There's nothing wrong with that," she tried saying.
"Three years ago, maybe," Dipper told her, "but it's not three years ago. It's now. And I knew she's holding secrets from me. Maybe I need to try something new."
"Who are you," Mabel asked as a tiny smile cracked on her face, "and what have you done to my brother?"
Dipper laughed and put a hand on her head, scratching away the uncomfortable pressure of his large spindle of hair all pulled up under her hat. Without warning, Mabel pushed forward and wrapped her arms around Dipper and pulled her tightly, hugging her.
"You were right too," Mabel said, "I'm dumb for thinking that I... even have a chance with Zander."
"Hey, it's okay to dream, right?" Dipper said as she hugged back.
This proved to be a mistake, as Dipper felt her chest bump against Mabel's. She gasped and pushed herself away from Mabel, groaning at the aching pressure. As Dipper adjusted his shoulders, trying to organize himself, Mabel gasped.
"Dipper... what are you hiding in your vest?" she asked, wiping away her tears. "You sound like your hiding something."
Dipper blinked and looked at the open door behind him. There wasn't a single sound from the upstairs hallway. She turned back and looked to Mabel.
"So... uh... I kind of... um..." Dipper collected her thoughts, "I was angry, and decided to go walking in the woods... to try finding something else to get to Zander."
"Dipper," Mabel said as she pouted.
"Well... I did find it, but... it had an effect on me," Dipper admitted.
"What? Made your crazy dude brain think right?" Mabel asked, poking her hat. The poke shifted the small beanie just enough for the entire thing to fall aside. Dipper's now long hair fell out past her head. Mabel gasped and stared as Dipper tried blowing the hair away in short puffs. "Dipper? You're wearing a wig, right?" she asked.
"No... uh..." Dipper sighed, brushed her hair away, and then undid the vest zipper. Dipper was angry at himself as he enjoyed the freedom from the tight vest, and his chest fell open, restrained only by his t-shirt.
Mabel's mouth fell open.
"I got turned into a girl," Dipper said.
Dipper's sister wasn't moving. She merely stood there, staring at Dipper's chest, and then his face. Slowly she reached out, her fingers moving closer to Dipper's face. "Your face is different," Mabel admitted. With another sudden burst of movement, she grabbed Dipper's chin, and pushed her against her own, and rubbed them together.
"Ow!" Dipper grasped, and pulled away, "the heck, Mabel!?"
"Oh my god," Mabel gasped, her own hands pressing against her cheeks, "no fuzz. No burn! No facial hair! And your voice was a little... wait- Dipper!?"
"Like I said," Dipper repeated, "girl now." Mabel's face exploded in the strangest mix of excitement and confusion Dipper had ever seen. She squealed and leapt up from her bathtub, pulling Dipper up with her into a hug.
"That mean's we can do girl stuff together now! Dipper, what if we go bathing suit shopping together?! Or bra shopping! Ohhh, this could be soo cool-"
"Slow. Down," Dipper demanded of her, yet Mabel commenced.
"Or we could go on double dates with guys, and talk about which one we like more! Oh, this could be soo-"
"MABEL!" Dipper roared, "just because my body's been switched doesn't mean I think any differently!"
"I... oh... so, boys aren't, you know, sexy to you?" Mabel inquired, her hands held together by the fingertips.
"No. I like girls," Dipper told her flatly.
"Wow! I have a lesbian sister!" Mabel cheered.
"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, her cheeks growing red, "I'm not going to stay female!"
"Oh. Drat. Well, how long does this last?" Mabel asked. Dipper prepared an estimation, but as she opened his mouth, she was unable to speak. In all truth, Dipper wasn't even sure, with her sister's help and Zander's help, they could turn her back. As Dipper held her breath, Mabel stared and her mind began to come to his conclusion. "You don't know?"
"Not yet," Dipper hastily stated, "It could only last for, uh, a day! Or a week... or forever," Dipper admitted, her shoulders falling as the weight of the realization hitting her hard.
"Well, if you get stuck a girl, it won't be that bad," Mabel rolled her eyes, "I make it look pretty easy, but you'll manage."
"Mabel. I don't want to be a girl. I've been a boy for fifteen years, and I don't plan on stopping now," Dipper informed her with a strong voice. Mabel snickered and pointed as his lips. "What?" Dipper demanded.
"You're trying to sound manly, but you have a girls voice," Mabel snickered. Dipper scowled, heat flowing to her cheeks as she glared at Mabel. "Okay, okay, fine, so you're dead set on being a boy again. If that's the case, what do we do?"
"I was hoping you'd help me with that," Dipper said, holding her hand through her hair as she pulled it, "I don't know really what I'm up against, well... and I could use my sister's help to get my stupid butt out of this."
Mabel's lower lip trembled. It was enough for Dipper to smile and reach out for her. The two embraced again, as Mabel nodded. "Duh, of course I'm going to help you, bro-sis."
"Ugh," Dipper let go and stepped away, "don't call me that."
"How about Pine-sis?"
"NO."
"How about-"
"We can go now," Dipper cut her off, pointing to the door with her open hands.
"Fiiiiine," Mabel rolled her eyes and lifted Waddles out of the bathtub. "Wait here, buddy. It's up to you to guard the building," Mabel told Waddles. A small short was given for her, and Mabel grinned as she patted his head. "I trust you, you peachy beastie."
Waddles snorted and followed her and Dipper out into the hallway, and then sat by their door. As Dipper looked down the staircase and slipped back on her hat, she caught the voices of Zander still talking away to the crowd below. Now with her hair tucked back under her beanie, she wandered how they would get Zander out of here without drawing suspicion. Mabel stepped next to him and gasped.
"Is that... who I think I hear?" she asked, looking to Dipper.
"Yeah. He's helping me distract them while I grab you," Dipper told her as they began down the stairs.
"Wait... you didn't tell them?" Mabel asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure that'd go well with them. Hey Dipper, nice gender-switch look, I think you should keep it," Dipper grumbled.
"Oh stop it. They'd want to help you just as much as I do," Mabel told her, patting her hair as Dipper held her arms tightly, pouting. "After getting a good laughing."
"Can we just sneak in and get Zander and rush out please?" Dipper pleaded. Mabel rolled her eyes and shrugged as they made it to the last doorstep. A few feet distanced themselves from the gift shop, and once there, the twins peeked inside from around the corner. There, they could catch the middle of a conversation.
"You'd think that, right?" Zander was saying to Wendy and Soos, who seemed alone in the room now, "but honestly, Robbie isn't as much trouble as you'd think. He's leveled out a bit. We had to teach him a lot of P.R., and that's what sort of smoothed him out."
"P.R.?" Soos asked.
"Public relations," Wendy quickly answered for her co-worker.
"Oh. Well that makes sense- you're the kind of Metal and P.R.," Soos told Zander who grinned and shrugged.
"Make music people want to hear, and then make people want to hear you," Zander told them, "and you have better than fans, you have friends."
"Okay, this isn't bad," Dipper told Mabel as they pulled back behind the wall, "we can probably rush past them and grab Zander."
"Okay. I'll be on distraction duty. You go for Zander, and I'll make noise and stuff," Mabel told him.
Dipper nodded and glanced once more around the corner. She would have to let Mabel take point on this one. Then again, she was already great at being the loud distraction. Dipper only had to ensure she stayed out of the collective noise Mabel would be making, and she could get out without being seen. Dipper sighed, and nodded.
"Go for it," she told Mabel.
Mabel strode quickly around and passed Dipper, and once she stepped inside, Dipper followed her. He could take an indirect route towards Zander, and just pat his shoulder to indicate it was time to go.
"My fellow undistracted friends!" Mabel declared as Dipper stalked the edge of the room, "I come to enlighten thee to the ways of distraction!"
"I don't know dude," Soos said to Mabel, "we're already pretty distracted with Zander being here."
"Yeah," Wendy nodded to Zander, "he just sort of showed up out of the blue and is chilling. Pretty sweet, huh?"
"Yeah!" Mabel shouted as she too looked to Zander, and she momentarily looked as if she were about to sway and stumble, but she grounded herself, "yeah. That is pretty awesome."
Dipper was half way across the room, sneaking upright as she squeezed between two shelves of postcards when she felt a tug on her vest. Slowly turning around to find the source of attachment, she found one of the two shelves teetering now, rocking back and forth as Dipper had nearly pulled it off it's stand. She withheld a gasp and pushed it back to place.
"So, what've you been up to, mister mega-musician?" Mabel asked Zander.
"A little of this and that. After you guys left, I started a little bit of gardening," Zander told them, "had some new plants to put in the ground."
"You garden?" Wendy asked, an eyebrow risen to the new information.
"Yup," Zander nodded, "that yard looks empty, and lawns are too boring. So, I'm planting things."
"Man, talk about swiss army knife," Wendy chuckled, "anything you can't do?"
"Cook," Zander admitted with a sigh, "being on the road made sure I wasn't cooking. So I just order or whatever," he explained with a wave of his hand.
Dipper felt a tug on her vest. Stumbling just short of tripping, she found the edge of a coat-wrack snagging one of her pockets. Dipper scowled and swore in her mind- two times in one attempt to sneak out? The vest would have to be re-evaluated. She tugged her hands at the fabric, pushing it backwards and forwards, un-snaring herself from the metal frame. Too late though; the damage was done.
"Dipper," Wendy called over, spotting her from her counter, "dude, come over here man. Zander's like, just come to chill or whatever." Dipper remained facing away for a moment as the heat of her neck and cheeks slowly drained away like a leaking battery. She whipped around as she found her best attempt at her 'manly voice' and marched forward.
"Hey! Wendy! Soos!" Dipper waved to them as she made a quick march towards Zander, who was eying the boy-turned-girl and her friends. "Hey, how's it going?"
"Oh, you know, it's-"
"Oh yeah, that's great!" Dipper cut off Soos loudly, and quickly side-stepped Zander and found herself behind him, out of sight, "yeah, so, Mabel, Zander, and I are just going to go and do stuff now. Bye."
"What? You're about to do stuff?!" Wendy asked, pushing herself off the counter with a shove.
"Y-yeah," Mabel nodded as she grinned and waved to Zander, who shrugged back, "we'll be, uh, going now to discover the meaning of life."
"Oh! Hold up, I'm totally not missing this one," Soos told them, and reached around the desk and grabbed a large backpack of supplies.
"Soos, uh, I think we can handle it," Dipper tried saying, barely peaking around the rock star.
"Sure can! And you can handle it even better with plus one!" Soos told them, shoving on his backpack to his shoulders.
"Make that plus two," Wendy said, stepping around and adjusting her hat. "We still got plenty of light before Stan starts coming after us with bloodhounds. Let's go solve something!"
"B-but, uh," Dipper asked, stepping around Zander to console her friends, "you know- we just got out of a heck of a dangerous fight with The Warlock! You shouldn't have to get involved unless you have to."
"You kidding me?" Wendy chuckled, "I missed out on messing on the guy who cut you? I'm in on this so much you can't even measure it."
"And dude, if this is dangerous, you should totally get us in on it too," Soos added, nudging Wendy in his efforts to compile reason together. Dipper clenched her teeth together, glaring between her two friends.
"But who'll watch the shop?" Dipper asked, to which Wendy laughed. "What? With what's going on around here, it's a legitimate concern."
"Yeah right. Stan and Yuki got it under control, especially since Stan will be having him fix the oven to be super-tech," Wendy informed them with a sigh. "C'mon dude," Wendy approached Dipper, beaming with her smile, "friends got to..." she blinked and stared at Dipper. A moment passed as Dipper felt Wendy's gaze become confused and uncertain.
"What?" Dipper asked.
"Something is different with you," Wendy stated.
"Wh-what?" Dipper stuttered, looking between Zander and Mabel for back-up. Mabel shrugged, but Zander stepped up quickly.
"Nah, he's just having a rough day, you know?" Zander told her.
"Dipper saved his stubble because he's having a bad day?" Wendy asked Zander. The rock artists groaned and looked to Dipper. As they shared a single thought of anticipation, Soos stepped next to Wendy and also stared.
"Hm. Kind of makes you look more feminine, dude," Soos admitted. Dipper's jaw tightened as she felt the sweat in her hands build. Her face too twisted as she fought frowning too much, but Soos and Wendy both saw the changes. "You know, not that it's a bad thing- lots of girls like feminine traits in a dude."
"More, some than others?" Mabel suggested with a giggle. Dipper whipped to her, red in the face. "Sorry, bad timing, I know," Mabel apologized as she snickered.
"Dipper, something's already happened, hasn't it?" Wendy asked, coming closer. Zander didn't stop her advance, and Dipper was left to her own devices as Wendy examined her. "What happened? Are you sick or something?"
"Sick of being a man!" Mabel roared with laughter, and held her stomach.
"MABEL!" Dipper roared at her.
"C'mon, it's a little funny," Zander snickered, and Dipper turned to him, her mouth fallen open in her defeat.
With a final absolute sigh, Dipper reached up to her head and ripped away her hat. In the same quick motion, Dipper then reached up to her neck and ripped down the zipper. Soos gasped and stared, looking between the hair, Dipper's face and the vest and what had been revealed. Wendy sighed, and grinned.
"I knew it," she said as she fought back a grin. "Something changed."
"How... how did you know?" Dipper inquired as she felt a sickening tightness in her gut as shame crept into her world in large waves.
"The way you walk changed, and your hat was bigger," Wendy pointed out. Dipper blinked, looking up to her head and sighing. Of all the reasons to be caught by, they were not on his immediate list of things he had expected.
"Wait, so, Dipper has... long hair?" Soos asked, stepping next to Dipper, "and a baggy shirt?"
"I think Dipper got turned into a girl," Wendy said simply, looking into Dipper's vulnerable stare.
"Whoa. Dude. And I thought being a pig for a day was weird," Soos chuckled, patting Dipper on the shoulder, "well, at least your experience in your sister's body prepared you for-"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Dipper finished for Soos.
"Well, if we aren't trying to hide your condition from your friends anymore," Zander said aloud, drawing attention to him, "I think it's time we found these so-called crystals."
As Mabel nodded and lead the way out, with Zander and Soos in following, Wendy passed Dipper, who held an hand to her shoulder. Wendy stopped just short of passing through the door, and turned to face Dipper.
"Dude?"
Dipper lifted her gaze from the floor, and stared at Wendy. "Sorry for holding off on you," Dipper said quietly.
"Oh..." Wendy watched Dipper as she remained rooted to the spot, barely moving. She didn't blink as she watched him, taking in each movement he shad. "It's okay, dude."
"I, uh, just felt like... you all would laugh at me for this," Dipper shrugged.
Wendy scoffed and put her arms to her hips. "So, being a woman is something to laugh at, is it?" Dipper quickly widened her eyes and shook her head. Words and syllables spilled from her mouth like a flood, but Wendy just chuckled. "Hey, c'mon dude, I'm teasing you."
With a sigh, Dipper nodded and followed up next to her.
"Besides, I bet you still think I look attractive," Wendy poked her in the shoulder. Dipper's mouth vacuum sealed shut and she quickly looked away. "Hah!" Wendy laughed, but rubbed Dipper's hair with a quick brush. "Don't worry dude. We all have our secrets," she said as she gently pushed him out the door.
"Wow. Talk about crystal all right," Soos said as he and Zander stared at the large growth of crystals in the forest.
It had been half an hour since the cat was let loose from Dipper's metaphorical bag. With Wendy and Soos in tow, two cars had driven down to Zander's home, parked, and the five hiked their way towards Dipper's suggestion and guidance. Finally they stood before the three story tall growth of strange mineral. As it crackled with electricity, Wendy and Mabel marched around it, staring at the smaller crystals protruding from around it.
"I've seen some almost this big," Dipper admitted to the group, "but never this big."
"So, uh, that electricity isn't being picked up on this," Soos pointed to a small device in his hand, a home-made E.M.F. detector, "and with how loud those suckers are up there," he pointed to the top of the crystal, "I totally should be getting something."
"So, it's not measureable electricity," Zander pondered, striking his chin.
"My thoughts exactly," Dipper announced, "I think it's either a form of un-recorded energy, or... uh... pure, raw, magic?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Zander shrugged.
"Or mine!" Mabel shouted as she came around the large crystal, "there's a ton of smaller ones around here. What if it's just 'Gender-Energy', and only reacts to things with genders?"
"That's stupid," Dipper replied.
"You're stupid," Mabel retorted.
"So, I'm getting a whole 'don't touch' vibe from the big one," Wendy said as she caught up with Mabel, having tied a rope around her body, over a shoulder and under the opposite armpit. "Did you touch big-daddy here," she pointed a thumb behind her, "or to one of these puppies?" she indicated one of the smaller ones next to them.
"That one," Dipper pointed to a specific protrusion from the earth. The five slowly moved closer, coming close enough to feel a static buzz from it's surface. Once there, they all watched it carefully and nervously. The glow of the light around them illuminated their faces as they stared down at the three foot crystal. Mabel then grabbed Dipper's hand and pushed it against the crystal.
"Ahhh, c'mon," Mabel grumbled.
"See? Not working," Dipper sighed as she took her hand back. Mabel frowned.
"Well... I bet that's because this one is busted. See?" Mabel pressed her hand against the surface.
"MABEL!"
Dipper's warning came far too late. Just like he had, screamed and pulled her hand away from the surface as a very loud discharge of energy coursed through her. Hair standing on end, Mabel marched away, holding her hand to her chest. Dipper stumbled, but followed after his sister worriedly. The three behind watching, Dipper caught up with Mabel as she groaned and hissed as she shook away the pain.
"Mabel?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah?"
Dipper groaned. That voice... was too deep for Mabel, and Mabel had heard it too. She gasped and spun around.
Mabel's hair had receded and become short. Scruff extremely similar to Dipper's had come to light, and protruded from her chin. As Mabel felt a hand across her jaw and she laughed, she suddenly gasped and widened her legs.
"Whoa! New package," she stated, and stepped aside. Dipper blushed for her, and clapped a hand to her face.
"That may be the least graceful way of letting us know you're fully a guy now," Dipper told her.
"Quiet! I need to examine myself," Mabel told her as he patted his arms and shoulders. "Wider. Huh. Okay," he said, and began to feel the side of his ribs, "ow! That damn bra!" Mabel declared, "it sucks when it doesn't hold on to anything!"
"Can we please not talk about your bra?" Dipper asked, looking back towards the group. Wendy had walked over, leaving Zander and Soos to stare at the crystal.
"She looks exactly like you," Wendy shrugged, "not bad considering."
Dipper whipped to her, but then looked away, uncertain how to react to Wendy's possibly unintentional compliment. Instead, Dipper watched as Mabel clapped his hands to his butt, and nodded.
"The same. That's good," he assessed, and then turned away, and his hands vanished somewhere around his pelvis, or regions possibly lower. "Whoa!" Mabel declared, "I wonder if Dipper and I have matching-"
"AAAAND you're done looking at your body," Dipper shouted as she was burned from the inside out with the embarrassment flaring through her. Wendy roared with laughter, but Mabel shrugged and turned back, hands at his side.
"I gotta know what it's like before I switch back," Mabel informed his sister, marching over, "you know, it's kind of weird walking," Mabel told Wendy with a shake of his head, "more to watch out for down there."
"I bet," Wendy snickered as she wiped tears from her eyes.
"Seriously. You don't need to see ANY of that stuff," Dipper told him.
"Look, it's for both our interests that I check it out now," Mabel said to Dipper, "as Alpha twin, should you get into a date, we need to know equal amounts of each other's bodies, in case a significant other asks one of us what it's like. Also, I needed to make sure I went from girl cute to boy cute."
"Okay, first of all-" Dipper started.
"Hey!" Zander called out, "we're working on something!"
The three ran back over, coming to stand around Soos, who held his multi-purpose detector lower for them all to see.
"So, Zander and I got to thinking- this thing may have been gender specific. Like, it only zaps you if you're a boy sort of thing," Soos began.
"We just disproved that," Dipper stated.
"Right, so instead, what if it works like an electrical switch?" Zander explained, his eyes wide with excitement. Mabel blinked as he scratched his chin.
"Okay, I was kind of hoping chin scruff does make you think better, but I'm just getting the same thoughts. What's the deal with the electrical switch?" Mabel asked.
"So, if you haven't touched the crystal," Soos began, "you have a positive signature. It doesn't matter what gender you are. So now, a new current will flow through you, and turn you negative. Mabel, go touch it again dude," Soos suggested. Mabel suggested and did as told, and placed a hand on it's surface. "See? Nothing."
"So, once you touch, it doesn't work," Wendy summarized.
"We think so. It will only flow through a 'positive' signature," Zander shrugged. "Here's the bad part. We don't know... and we need to take a little risk," Zander told them with a grimace.
"We need someone else to get changed, don't we?" Wendy sighed.
"Yeeeaah," Zander nodded as he stared at the largest crystal, some fifteen feet from them.
"I thought so," Dipper crossed her arms before her, "so... who's next?"
"Well, I've been a pig once," Soos stated, "I think I can manage being another form of myself. Like, what's the worst that can happen?" Soos asked.
"You want to hold onto the detector for you?" Zander asked as Soos reached out.
"Nah, don't worry about it," Soos assured him, "these puppies will take more than just a tickle of electricity to-"As Soos placed his hand onto the crystal, he seized and shrieked, "YEOW! Ouch!" he shouted. Held in his hand, the detector exploded into smoke and plastic bits high into the air. Soos looked around as he shook himself clean of the remaining pings of pain within his body.
"Soos?" Wendy asked. "How do you feel?"
"Uhh, normal?" Soos asked.
"That's normal," the twins said in unison.
On cue, Soos's hair on his face vanished and a huge tuft of hair fell from under his cap, a soft, light hue brown. Soos gasped and looked to his legs, and then shook his head. As he spoke, his voice had changed slightly to become higher in pitch.
"Well. I know how Grandma feels now," Soos stated sadly.
"Dang it!" Zander growled, and marched over to backpacks by a tree. The other's followed as stepped away. "We need a study of this energy before we're all stuck as the opposite gender. Soos," Zander called, and Soos stepped next to him, "grab another one of those EMF thingies."
"Sure thing." Soos said, and she marched over.
"You three," Zander said, turning to the twins and Wendy, "study me. Everything. Anything in any detail, no matter how small, pay attention to it."
"Sure," Dipper nodded.
"Yeah, no problem," Mabel sighed as he played with his hair. Dipper smacked Mabel's stomach with her backhand, and he grunted. "Hey. Ow."
"Okay, got another one," Soos stated.
"Great. Okay... take four," Zander said, and he began to march over to the same crystal.
"Wait, Zander!" Dipper called.
"Oh no!" Mabel shouted, "not into a girl!"
The twins ran over, but Zander's stride was too quick. As Soos just barely managed to catch up, the rock-artists put his hand onto the charged structure, and he too groaned and pulled his hand away within a moment. His already long blonde hair grew substantially, falling to the middle of his back. Two rather rounded blossoms formed under his shirt, and his facial features sharpened and thinned. Zander Maximillion, as Dipper was shocked, was a gorgeous bombshell.
"Got a reading this time!" Soos shouted aloud as she jumped into the air.
"Read it to me," Zander demanded, her voice smooth and silky.
"Electrical in pattern. Like, probably able to transmit through anything electricity can," Soos suggested. "What it is? Still no idea, dude."
"Anything else?" Zander asked as the three stared at the very pretty woman before them.
"Uhhh... yeah. I think there was a delay this time," Soos admitted as she looked up from device.
"A delay? Wassup with that?" Mabel asked.
"Maybe... it's height," Dipper suggested, looking at the still taller woman before him, "she- uh, he has slightly longer arms than the rest of us. Maybe this energy is slow enough to actually be traced when it's moving?"
"There's only one way to find out," Wendy grunted, and turned away.
"Oh no, not you too!" Dipper shook his head as he ran after her.
"Dipper, dude, I got this," Wendy said as she walked backwards briefly, facing Dipper.
"Wendy, if you change back, we're going to need more people to figure this out!" Dipper told her, "maybe you should just, you know, stay back for now, and we can come back with help first? You know? Not get you changed before you get stuck?"
"Dipper-"
"He's got a point," Zander added as Wendy turned and pulled out a very long metal chain from Soos's backpack, and wrapped one end once around her arm. "If we can't get this figured out, for all we know, there is no changing back," Zander said to her.
"If there's an on switch," Wendy shook her had as she dragged one end of the chain with her, marching back towards the crystal, "there's an off switch."
"Wait, Wendy!" Dipper demanded of the redhead. She didn't need to be more confused than she already was. Zander was a friend, and already Dipper was certain that there was a very unconventional amount of attraction whenever she looked at the new gorgeous woman. But should Wendy be turned into a man, the one woman who Dipper saw so many admirable qualities... "Wendy, wait!" Dipper grabbed the end of the dragging chain just as Wendy reached out and grasped the crystal.
In her attempt to pull Wendy away, Dipper saw her flinch and let go. However, she also saw a bright surge of yellow light course through the chains in the nearly two seconds. Fifty feet through the chains the energy shot, and Dipper shouted and dropped the chains, feeling her hands burnt yet again.
Then... suddenly her head and chest felt lighter. Dipper felt a familiar addition in his waist. Dipper gasped, and then felt his hands over his body. "Oh... oh my god!" he shouted, "I'm-I'm back! I'M A DUDE AGAIN!"
"Rock on, man," a deep but soft voice told Dipper, causing him to stumble and stare.
Wendy looked very, very much like her father now. Granted, her shoulders were not as incredibly brawn and wide as his were, but her hair was shorter, her face covered in bright red tufts of beard, and her body had filled out. As Wendy stroked his moustache, he turned to Mabel and grinned.
"You know what we need to do," Wendy told her gender-swapped friend.
"I'm soo on it!" Mabel grinned and nodded. The two stepped closer clapped their hands together in an armbrace. Then they let go, and quickly stroked their beards.
"Testosterone!" they both declared, and spat to the side. Dipper, beside himself, began to laugh and had to hold his hands to his knees to keep himself from falling forward.
"Dipper, you're back to normal?" Soos asked.
"Yeah! Whole packa- uh, all me. I retract the word 'package'," Dipper told them, and then gasped, and felt his face, "phew. Beard hairs are back. Among other things," he added with a pleased grin.
"Not as much as Wendy!" Mabel shouted, and stroked Wendy's face, "she's got a forest of red curls!"
"But if we got Dipper back," Zander said around, pacing back and forth as she thought aloud, "that mean's we can all get back! We just need to have the current pass through everyone on the chain!"
"Right... how exactly is that going to work?" Dipper asked, "if we need someone to always be a 'normal' self to activate it, someone always has to be a gender they didn't start out as in the end!"
"What makes you think that?" Zander asked Dipper, a sly grin on her face.
"You've got a plan, I take it?" Dipper asked.
"Sort of. I think so," Zander shrugged, "we take this chain, and circle the crystal. All of us stand in a circle, attached by the chains. Dipper, you have one hand ready by the crystal-"
"And one next to a part of the chain!" Dipper concluded, "and that way when the circle is completed-"
"Simba rises into the sun, and is proclaimed the next kind of Africa!" Mabel concluded with a happy sigh. The other four, either confused or irritated as was Dipper's case, stared at him. "What? No circle of life? We're just sticking to 'circle of really bad shock'?"
"So, how do we get this started?" Wendy asked as he patted Mabel's head gently.
"It's up to Dipper, honestly," Zander gestured to Dipper with her hand. He looked to them all, ready to wrap the nonsense up.
"Let's do this," he told them.
Set up around the crystal, the four changed awaited. They had found the best possible distance around the strange charged object, widening the circle in the middle so both ends were as close as possible without the possibility of chain links touching, and shortening the distance.
Dipper stood by both ends. To his left, Mabel stood waiting, her confident brown eyes staring at Dipper as he checked in with her. To his right, tall proud Wendy stood, her own green eyes shining with her usual amount of confidence. Dipper stood between them, aware of the whole procedure resting on his shoulders. So, with a grasp on the last chain neatest Mabel, he reached out and touched the surface.
"GAH!"
Dipper shouted and retracted the hand. Mabel screamed, and then Soos. It was already half way across the chain, and Dipper still felt the pain of the shock coursing through his body. Yet he would have to steel himself. There was no time. Zander yelped as well- only half a second remained.
As Dipper reached out for the chain, Wendy reached out for him. Just as the energy struck the edges of Wendy's skin, the two connected their hands.
"DOUBLE OW!" Dipper roared as he fell back and held his hand. Wendy had spun in a quick circle, whipping her hand through the air in quick punches as she grunted. Yet, his body remained the same. He was not undergoing the changes, as he lay flat on his back on the floor of the forest. Slamming his two fists into the dirt below him, Dipper cheered his loudest into the covered sky above.
"Nice one, dude," Wendy said, her voice back to her usual tones. Dipper craned his head up and found a hand reaching down for him. With a grin on his face, he took it and was lifted up easily.
"Looks like being a man didn't make you any weaker," Dipper chuckled. Wendy laughed and shoved him gently.
"Looks like being a girl didn't make you any dumber," she winked as Dipper laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. From the side, Dipper felt a slam into his side as Mabel Pines, returned to female-hood, rushed at him.
"Yeah! Finally," Mabel shouted as she let go of Dipper, "we get a mystery that isn't life or death. That's got to be the first one in a while."
"At least the first one I've been on," The masculine voices of Zander Maximillion added as he stepped over, patting the shoulder of the twins. "Good work you two. Got me a site to photograph, and a heck of a memory to keep."
"And not to mention an intimate idea of what you would look like if you were the opposite gender!" Soos added as he stood next to them. "I don't think many people get that chance."
"Eh. I think we kind of knew what we'd look like," Dipper admitted, winking to his sister. She chuckled and poked him in the nose.
"Well, I'm off to get my camera. Hey! You guys can help me out!" Zander told them as he started walking off, yet still facing them, "just chill here for a bit, and we'll get some awesome scenic shots of these things!"
As Zander jogged off, Soos began to collect the metal chains, rattling them against the various exposed roots of the floor around them. As Mabel watched Zander go off with a sigh, Dipper felt Wendy's presence next to him. He turned and smiled to her, happy to have had her by his side again.
"See dude?" she said with a nudge, "aren't you glad you can trust me?" she asked.
Dipper laughed harder than he should have, but he turned away, following the gaze of his sister. It would be easier to look away from Wendy as he let her words sink in.
Granted, without Wendy's persistence, there was a good chance that there may never have been a return to their normal genders. She had genuinely tried to help them all, offering what she could when she could. All like the Wendy Dipper had knew for three years. The Wendy he trusted. Still... Dipper could feel the notepad sitting in an inside pocket of his vest, reminding him of the simple truth of his red-headed friend next to him: she was still hiding a secret from him.
However, as Dipper let a deep breath slip from his lips and he grinned to himself, he could enjoy the moment as it was. She, whatever her secret was, Wendy Corduroy had stood next to him and his friends once again.
I bet the photoshoot was boring after that fiasco. At least by comparison. Once your gender-based body parts had been switched back and forth, you tend to have a muted perspective on the things of life.
Or at least, I can only imagine. :o
So that's this week of RtGF. The 'obligatory gender-based' episode has been completed! WOOT WOOT! Which means now, we're about to stop the silly and step almost entirely back into the world of seriousness. And I mean serious. The next Episode is called "Ashes in the Sky".
Yeah. They're back.
Anyone have any speculations to the coming episode? I'd love to hear a theory or two! Heck, if you're right about something, I might tell you- or even give you more hints!
(Without warning, EZB liquefies. Like, he just turns into a puddle of blue stuff. Someone mop him up, please?)
Wkhuh lv douhdgb idqduw ri wklv
-AND-
Xlnrmt fk mvcg- Azmwvi Nzcrnroorlm; Rh gsviv hfxs z gsrmt zh 'gll xsroo'?