Chapter 38

The water was cold, though his body had been numb now for some time. The priest known as Abel Nightroad had sat in his bathtub for more than twenty-four hours. His long beautiful hair hung over the sides, while he laid his head on the back of the old fashioned tub. He stared out into nothingness. He felt like a hollow man, like his heart had once again been ripped from his chest. His mind raced with questions. Why hadn't he been faster to get to her? Why did she have to come back? "All this over a stupid necklace. I've lost another lover to him. I've lost Esther and..." he paused his thoughts, he had ran out of tears days ago. It hurt to cry. "Esther... I'm so sorry." A knock on the door broke his train of thought.

"Abel?" It was Cardinal Caterina. He ignored her, hoping that after some time she'd give up and leave. "Abel I know you're in there." She called out. "Just go away." "Fine. Have it your way." He heard her jiggle the lock. Abel's eyes widen. He had forgotten that he had once given Caterina his spare keys in case he lost his. The door opened slowly. "Abel?" she called out. Caterina turned and looked into the bathroom. There sat the priest, sitting in a tub, naked as the day he was born. "Honestly." She crossed her arms. "Is this were you've been hiding?" Abel didn't answer. He was hoping if he ignored her she'd just disappeared. Instead the Cardinal grabbed a stool and sat next to the tub. She rolled back her sleeves and touched the surface of the water. She shook her head. "Are you trying to catch a cold or what?" She dipped her hand into the frigid water and pulled the plug, then turned on the hot water. "I'll be right back." Abel watched her leave, and then turned his attention to the warm running water. "What in god's name is she doing? Can't she just let me be?" "Here we go." He turned to see Caterina carrying a basket filled with shampoos. She had taken off her red cardinal robes and wore a pair of red pants and a white shirt. "Let's get you fixed up." Abel looked up at her.

"What are you doing?" Caterina put the plug back in and adjusted the water's temperature.

"What does it look like?" She pulled out a bottle of bath incense. She opened the top and he smelled the faint scent of vanilla. "I'm going to wash your hair. I was smart to bring my special hair shampoo. I thought it would help calm you down and rest." Caterina went to grab his hair. Abel grabbed her hand and pushed her away.

"I don't need your help."

"I didn't say you did. I was trying to be nice." Caterina grabbed a handful of his hair. "Besides, you need it." Abel didn't object the second time. Caterina took her place behind him and started washing her oldest friend's hair. Abel, for his part, kept his head down and never spoke. Caterina smiled. The soaps and shampoos had been gifts from the Empress herself. In times of stress, the cardinal would lock herself in her quarters and indulge herself. She was hoping it would help Abel now. Abel let out a soft sigh, indicating that he was enjoying it. "Feeling better?"

"So-so. As best as someone can be after losing his family." He spoke with no feeling.

"We are all grieving too. Everyone is worried about you."

"They shouldn't. I'll be fine." Caterina grabbed a cup and rinsed the soap from his hair. She then grabbed the conditioner.

"Why do you always think you have to put the weight of the world on your shoulders?" Abel lowered his head. "We worry because we care. We loved her too." Caterina smoothed his hair with the conditioner. She like touching his hair. It was so soft. "Your sister may come and visit you."

"I don't want to see her." He mumbled.

"You may not want to, but you sure need it." She grabbed a clip from her basket and clipped his hair up. "There...leave that in for a few minutes."

"Thank you. " She smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I've worried you all. I just..." Caterina noticed how hard he was trying to hold back the tears. "I...promised her." Caterina moved forward and hugged her friend. Abel sobbed into her shoulder. In all the times she had been with Abel, never had the cardinal watched the full-grown man lose it so quickly. "I failed." He kept on mumbling. "I failed. There can't be a god. For a god would never bestow this upon a person."

"Abel..." She pulled back. Her eyes were starting to get a little watery. "Don't say that. There is a God and he loves you. He's testing you. You've got to be strong. You of all people must remember that. We are all his children."

"Then why Esther? Why did he take her from me?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "Maybe it was her time to be called back home." Abel shook his head and wiped his tears away. She combed her fingers through his hair, before pulling his head forward and kissing his forehead. She stood back up and started rinsing his hair. Abel remained silent. Caterina knew that her words had pained him. She blamed herself for some of it. She knew she should have never pushed Abel to open up to Esther. Once the conditioner was rinsed out, Caterina pulled the bathtub plug and grabbed a few towels.

"Here" She handed him one. "I'll go and grab you some clothes. Come and have dinner with me. I could use come company."

"I don't think I'll be any good company." She smiled and turned her head as he got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"I didn't say you'd have to be. I just wanted the company. After all, it's awfully boring just having dinner by myself." Caterina walked back into his bedroom and towards his closet. She grabbed him a clean set of robes. "I'll wait for you in the hallway, and I won't take no for an answer."

"As you wish." Abel spoke from the bathroom. Caterina walked outside and leaned against the doorframe. He looked bad. She knew whatever he felt was worse than the loss of Lilith. She sighed.

"Where did everything go wrong?" She felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Why did it have to be her?"

Abel put on his robes and looked in the mirror. His hair smelled nice. He knew he would have to thank Caterina for the gracious gesture. Without a second thought, he turned around and left, leaving his ribbon and glasses on his nightstand. He didn't feel like being Father Abel Nightroad, the priest who often trips over his own feet. He wanted to be left alone, but for Caterina's sake he would indulge her just this once. He opened the door to find the cardinal wiping a lonesome tear from her eye. She tried to hide it from him. Caterina gave him her best smile and placed a hand on the small of his back.

"Come. Let's get you something to eat. I know you must be hungry. I'll have the cooks bring you up a whole pot of milk tea if you like." Abel smiled. "Why is it everyone tries to cheer me up with tea?"

"Thank you." He spoke. "You are very kind." "Though sometimes you scare me."

"What would you like? Anything you want." She looked at him. Abel sighed.

"I don't care. I'm not that hungry." The sentence nearly blew the cardinal away.

"Not hungry? The Abel I know would jump at the thought of a free meal."

"THE ABLE YOU KNEW DISAPPERED IN THAT GOD DAMN ABYSS!" Abel shouted. Caterina took a step away from him. She had a feeling this was going to happen, but it needed to. "What is it with you people. I want to be left alone! I thank you from coming to check up on me and for dinner, but shut up! I don't want to hear about Abel this and Abel that. I just lost the MOST PRECIOUS THING TO ME!" Abel could feel the tears start again. Caterina tried to place a hand on his quivering shoulders.

"Abel, I didn't mean to..."

"Yes, you did." He turned his back on her. "I just need some time alone." Able tried to calm himself. "I need to get out of here. Everything reminds me of her."

"I'm sorry, Abel. It was never my intention to pry. You are my friend. I just want to help." She tried once more to comfort him. To her surprise, Abel quickly turned and hugged her. He fell to his knees and held her tightly. Abel sobbed. Caterina brushed his damp hair and let his tears stain her shirt. He needed this. She'd be damned if he stepped foot into those catacombs. Caterina refused to let Abel mourn for Esther for 900 years, because she knew that behind those pearly white gates of heaven, Esther would be raising hell. She of all people would never want to see Abel cry. Caterina smirked; she knew exactly what Esther would do in this sort of predicament.

"Abel." She spoke softly. The priest hugged her tighter. " You've been moping around for a week. Have you even thought about what you're going to do now?"

"What?" He looked up. "Nothing, there's nothing left." Abel got to his feet and pushed Caterina away again. "I lost her. I have nothing."

"Yes, you do. You have me; you have Tres, William, Leon, and Father Hugue, well him sometimes, and you have your sister. Who is deeply worried she is losing her brother again." Caterina looked away from him. "I remember when you died and hearing from Leon how bad Esther took it. She blamed herself you know." Abel nodded. "What is she getting at?" "Like I said before this whole mess started, Esther took up what you started and became the Queen of Albion to find peace within herself. She worked hard, because she knew that's what you would have done. Abel, we all knew back then that there was something going on between you two, but your death didn't break her. It made her stronger. That's why I think she survived the experiments. You believed in her, but I don't think you believe in yourself. You know fully well what she would do if she saw you like this. "She'd give me a long lecture, with her hands on her hips the whole time. Before smacking me in the back of the head for being an idiot." "You're acting like a three-year-old. Stand up and do what Esther would do. Carry out what she started. She loved you Abel. Don't waste it." The last few words floored Abel. "Don't waste it. She's right. The longer I continue to mope around, the more time goes by. The Rosenkruez is still out there. Cain may still be alive. I have to finish this. For Esther and our child. I owe them that." Abel graced the cardinal with a smile.

"Thank you." He spoke. "I needed to hear that, and you're right. No more mourning. I need to finish what Esther and I started." He hugged her gently and kissed her cheek. "You are very kind, as you are stubborn." She smiled back.

"I just know you far too well." Abel smiled.

"Thank you. I probably would have wandered off and continued to be miserable. I had almost forgotten about that. I can actually see Esther making a fuss." Another tear rolled down his cheek.

"Come on." She grabbed her arm. "You may not be hungry, but I'm starved. You can sit and watch me eat."

"On second thought. I am a little hungry."

"Oh? Come on." She smiled and continued down the hallway. "Let's go."

"Yes, lets."

Advert not thine eyes

She must have a guardian angel looking out for her