A/N: Everybody likes fluff, right? Good, because things are going to be very fluffy for a while. Thanks for all the reviews last time around!
April 2011 (Present Day)
"Hey," Emily said to Hotch when she heard him passing by her open bedroom door on a Saturday morning.
"Yeah?" Hotch stopped and peeked inside. Emily was changing Henry's diaper—at least, trying to.
"Are you sure you bought fives?" she asked, tugging at the sides of the diaper. Henry whined when she secured it too tightly for his liking.
"Yeah. They don't fit? Already?"
"I swear, yesterday they fit just fine."
"Maybe that one's defective," Hotch said with a frown.
"Well, hand me another one. But I think he's going through a growth spurt, to be honest. He's been eating a lot. And he seems like he's gotten a lot taller lately."
"Hindsight's always twenty-twenty," Hotch said with a smirk, swapping clean diapers with Emily. But the new one was just as small. Emily looked up at Hotch, sighed, and shrugged. "I guess you have to run back and get some sixes for this big boy."
"Wait," Hotch said raised eyebrows, smiling just enough for his dimples to show. "I went and bought diapers yesterday. On my way home from work. When I had all three kids."
"And I would have gone, but I got caught up at work. I know, I'm sorry," Emily said, strapping on the too-small diaper and putting Henry's pants back on him. She released him and he trotted to his and Jack's bedroom.
"Still your turn," Hotch said.
Emily rolled her eyes. "All right, all right. Wanna split up the kids for a bit? You need to go get your car detailed before we bring it in to the dealership."
"All right. Who do you want?"
Emily smiled and patted her thighs as she walked downstairs, Hotch following behind. "I haven't gotten much time with Jack lately. Mind if I take him?"
"Sounds good."
—
"Where are we?" Jack asked Emily as he climbed out of his booster seat. He habitually grabbed her hand before walking away from the car and across the parking lot.
"We're at the book store. Want to pick out a book while we're here?"
"Yeah!" he answered, nodding eagerly. He started to run and tried to pull Emily along with him.
"Hey, slow it down there. No running in the parking lot." Jack must have had a nose for the children's section, because he found it before Emily did. "Hang on one second," she said. "I need you to stay with me. We can go look for a book for you in a minute but I need to find a book first. Deal?"
"Okay," Jack said with a little pout.
"Don't be so bummed. It'll only take a minute." Emily skimmed over the aisle markers until she found the parenting aisle.
"What book are you getting?" Jack asked.
"We…" Emily said, trailing off for a moment until she found what she needed. "…are going to potty train Henry so he can go on the potty like a big boy."
"Like me," Jack said proudly.
"Exactly."
Happy that he'd impressed Emily, Jack waited patiently while she selected a couple of books. She added What to Expect the First Year and What to Expect the Toddler Years for good measure. She smiled devilishly at the thought of replacing Hotch's typical mystery bedtime hardcover with one of these, picturing his reaction.
"Okay, time to go pick out your book," Emily said sweetly, gesturing Jack back toward the children's section.
"Emily…" Jack said tensely.
Emily looked down to see Jack holding his hands between his legs.
"Uh oh. Gotta go?"
"Uh-huh."
Emily glanced around in all directions. "Over there," she said quickly. "Come on, let's move it."
"But you said no running," Jack said worriedly as he ran to keep up with Emily.
"You have my permission to run this one time," Emily said. "Do you want me to come in with you?"
"Uh-huh," Jack panted as he ran ahead of Emily.
"Other one, sweetie. I can't go in the men's room with you."
—
"Good, you're back," Hotch said when Emily walked in the door with Jack. "Diaper. Now."
"What's going on?" Emily asked, handing over a plastic bag with the new diapers in it. "We had a whole thing of them. I mean, yeah, they were too small, but—"
"He won't keep it on," Hotch said in a somewhat panicky voice.
"He won't—" A huge smile spread across Emily's face as a naked Henry came sprinting through the kitchen. She hid the smile right away. Jack just watched wide-eyed at Henry's strange behavior. "Oh my God, I really hope it's just because the diaper was too small. Put a new one on him, quick," Emily said.
"Daddy?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, buddy," Hotch said as he tried to chase down Henry, who now squealed in delight at being hunted.
"Why is Henry naked?"
"Because he didn't like his diaper. Or his shirt, apparently," Hotch said.
Emily stifled a laugh when Hotch finally caught Henry in one arm. He took the bag of diapers into the living room with him and Emily and Jack followed.
"I really hope he's not going to go through a streaking phase," Emily said, the humor of the situation beginning to wear off when she realized the possible consequences of such a thing.
"Let's hope not," Hotch said. He thanked Emily when she tore open the bag and handed him a fresh size six diaper. Deciding that after having had fought Henry on the nudity issue for half an hour already, getting him to stay in a diaper would count as a victory, Hotch let him run off without putting his clothes back on him.
"You didn't laugh at him, did you?" Emily said.
"The first couple of times," Hotch said helplessly. "I couldn't help it. It was funny."
"Well, that probably encouraged him," Emily said.
"I'm sure we can undo that if we look upset instead."
"Yeah…" Emily replied distantly. "Did you get your car detailed?"
"All ready to go."
"Think maybe we should stick around here for a bit to make sure Henry the exhibitionist keeps his diaper on?"
Hotch checked his watch. "We're cutting it close on time. I'd like to have as much time as possible to look around."
"Why do I have the feeling that car shopping with you is going to be H-E-double hockey sticks?"
Hotch grinned briefly. "Because you have good instincts."
"You sure you don't want to just do it on your own? We already know what we're getting…"
"No, we all need to be there. I want to make sure everyone fits comfortably, take it for a test drive with everyone in it. What's in that other bag?" Hotch asked once he spotted Emily's bag from the bookstore.
"Oh, just a few things I thought we ought to read, and something for Jack because he behaved while we were out."
"Oh, let me pay you back for his—"
"Don't even think about it. Here," Emily said, reaching into the bag and handing him the What to Expect books. "I figured we could each read one and swap."
"In case you haven't noticed," Hotch said, watching Jack with amusement as he dug in the bag to get his own book, "I have raised one child already."
Emily gave Hotch a sardonic look, hoping he wouldn't be offended.
"Okay, Haley raised him. All right. I'll take the toddler one, you take the baby one. What else is in there?"
Emily winced in anticipation of Hotch's reaction. "Given that we have a two-and-a-half-year-old who might be done with the whole diaper thing, I thought we could try to potty train him. And I thought a book might not be a bad idea."
"Do you learn everything from books?" Hotch said, raising his eyebrows.
"How much do you remember from potty training Jack?"
"Not much besides how every time he wet the bed when I was home, I was guilted into cleaning up," Hotch said with a straight face. "All right, well, let's…not think about this today. We already have enough on our plates."
"Fair enough." Just then, Henry came tearing through the living room as fast as his little legs would carry him, his butt bare for all the world to see. "Oh, joy."
—
"Kind of tempting," Hotch admitted to Emily as they walked the used car lot with a salesman, right past a black Suburban.
"We have three kids, not five plus a giant dog, and a speedboat" Emily said quickly. "Don't even think about it. We already decided on an a Tahoe, even though I wanted something with better gas mileage. I've compromised enough. A Suburban is way too big. No." She smiled when she realized how wife-like she sounded, and how Hotch didn't seem to mind.
"Can we still get it in black?" Hotch asked with a grin, switching Henry over to his other side. They'd decided the best way to keep Henry dressed was not to put him down.
"If that will make you feel important again," Emily said lightheartedly, rolling her eyes.
"Well, we'll see what they have here," Hotch said.
"Well, there you go," Emily said. "Black Tahoe, right there."
"Shh," Hotch whispered, eying the salesman, who walked ahead of them. "We can't be that easy of a sell."
"Oh my God," Emily moaned. "I so should have stayed home."
—
"Stop making him run back and forth," Emily hissed as their salesman walked to the back office to "talk to his manager" for the third time about the price of the SUV and the value of their trade-in.
"It's all part of the process. Have you never bought a car before?"
"Yes, and I gave them my price and they met it. You need to stop pushing it."
"You won't say that after I save us three grand. Cash is king at a dealership," Hotch mumbled. Twenty minutes later, Hotch managed to do just that. Their salesman was in the back getting paperwork ready while the five of them waited patiently.
"Oh my goodness," a friendly female voice said from behind them. She circled around to see them all straight on. "Look at that blonde hair, ohh, and those precious blue eyes," she marveled, looking down at Charlotte.
Emily cast Hotch a furtive, awkward glance. The look on his face told her he didn't quite know how to react either.
"She's beautiful," said the woman, whom Emily suddenly recognized as the receptionist who'd greeted them when they'd arrived.
"Oh, thank you," Emily said.
"Where on earth did she get that blonde hair?"
"Well, not from either one of us," Emily said with a smile. "We're just legal guardians for her and the little boy."
"What about the older one?" the woman asked, smiling at Jack, who hid behind his dad.
"He's mine," Hotch said.
"Not yours, though?" she prodded, eying Emily suspiciously.
"Oh, no," Emily said. "We're friends."
"Oh, is that right? Oh, I think I hear the phone ringing. You folks have a nice day," she said without a fraction of the friendliness she'd shown before.
Once she'd walked away, Emily turned her face slowly toward Hotch's, her mouth dropping open. "Did she just…"
"Snub us because we're living together with three kids and we're not in a relationship? Yes," Hotch said quietly.
"What a…" Emily stopped and just growled under her breath. "Do people seriously act like that? Seriously?"
Hotch saw the deep hurt in Emily's eyes and, though he hadn't really taken offense to the woman's attitude, the fact that Emily had taken offense made his blood boil. "We can take our business elsewhere. Let's go."
"No, no. Let's just get this over with. It's not a big deal," Emily lied. "Being judged for the way you live by a total stranger, no worries. I've dealt with worse."
"Hey," Hotch said softly, moving his head until he caught Emily's wandering eyes.
"It's seriously not a big deal. I have dealt with worse. She just caught me off guard."
"We don't have to stay a minute longer. I'm serious. There are plenty of other dealerships around. We don't have to decide this today."
"Aaron, I'm fine, I promise." Emily gave Hotch a fleeting smile and then distracted herself with the baby. Hotch suppressed his nagging urge to touch Emily. He knew she was putting up a front, but he also grasped that she wasn't that hurt, or at least wouldn't be after some cooling off. He entertained the notion of writing the dealership a nasty letter, but he knew himself well enough to realize that in time his temper would die off and he would see that in the grand scheme of things, the receptionist's reaction was of little importance. They were doing the best that they could with what they had, and he couldn't let a stranger's attitude affect him, or Emily, for that matter. So he would let her downplay her feelings until, inevitably, she would cool down just like him.
—
"Your turn," Emily said wryly later that night as Henry entered the room bottomless once again, his diaper and jeans likely abandoned somewhere else in the house.
"Okay, I'm on board with the potty-training thing," Hotch said as he got up from the couch, where he and Emily had been flipping channels while the boys now played on the floor. He went off in search of the missing diaper and pants and came back a minute later. "You think we're ready for this?" Hotch asked.
"We might want to read up on it a little first," Emily said. "We're both basically beginners."
"Yeah, but…we've had them for two months and haven't messed up majorly yet. And people have been potty-training for ages without books," Hotch said as he re-dressed Henry, who didn't put up a fight for the time being.
"You making fun of me for buying parenting books?" Emily said with a sardonic grin.
"What? No, not at all. We're no less parents just because we're not married. You know that. I know what the receptionist said struck a chord with you, and she did with me too, to be honest, but she doesn't know anything about us."
Emily nodded. "I know," she said honestly. She appreciated Hotch's support more than she could say, so she didn't try to verbalize her gratitude. "Let's start tomorrow. He seems ready. We don't have to change him often and he's obviously fed up with diapers. And honestly, who can blame him? We just need a potty chair for him." She saw Hotch's smirk as he set Henry free again and reclaimed his seat on the other end of the couch, leaving the middle cushion between him and Emily unoccupied. "What?" Emily asked.
"Nothing."
Emily thought for a moment and caught Hotch's drift. "You never thought you'd hear me say the 'potty chair,' did you?"
Hotch chuckled and shook his head.
A/N: Please review if you have a moment! Thanks for reading.