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Chapter 38

When the Doctor set his guitar back down, he caught Clara smiling at him from the other end of the sofa after she had finished scribbling down the last notes of their song. It was moments like this that he wished he knew what was going through her head and even though Clara had begun sharing some of her thoughts and feelings with him, she still was a mystery to the Doctor sometimes.

"I guess that's it," she said after a moment. "All the songs we need to make our album happen."

The Doctor scoffed softly. He had completely forgotten about the album. During the last few days, it had been about Clara, about them both, not about the album, which was the only reason they had even met. Maybe it was the only reason they were here at all.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?" Clara went on.

"What does?"

She gave a shrug. "Finishing the album."

In response, the Doctor chuckled softly. "Well, there's still all of the recording and the promotional stuff," he replied because the idea of finishing their work wasn't one he liked to entertain. There was no reason for them to see each other after the album was finished and he didn't want to think about their relationship coming to an end.

Then suddenly he noticed that Clara cocked her eyebrows at him. "You know what else feels weird? The way you acted when Donna showed up."

"Ah," he uttered. Donna catching them was not something he had planned. "Well, I figured you'd find it weird that. . . uhm, that she knew about you. And Donna is always blowing things out of proportion. I was afraid she'd put you on the spot."

To his surprise, Clara started to laugh. "The only one being weird was you," she replied. "I thought she was nice."

"She thought we were a couple," he argued, but Clara just brushed his argument aside with a waving hand gesture.

"Let her," she said before her face turned into a grin. "Or do you think it's embarrassing for a man like you to date an attractive, young woman? Is that beneath you?"

"Clara-"

"Ugh, terrible! A beautiful woman touched you," she teased him, still grinning broadly and finally, the Doctor's face lit up as well.

"Downright disgusting. I mean, have you seen you? Gorgeous face, perfect body, lovely hair – who'd want that? No wonder I was embarrassed."

Clara giggled in response, but somehow, the Doctor could feel her gaze boring into him as if she was considering a new question already.

"So, your real name is John?" she asked and then bit down on her lip as if she felt a little bashful for not asking about his proper name earlier. It had been on their contract, but the Doctor doubted she had paid a lot of attention to that detail back then.

"John Smith," he said and then cracked a smile. "Why? Is that a problem?"

Again, she shrugged. "No, I just thought it sounded. . . I don't know, ordinary? Yeah, ordinary."

"I'm not sure what to reply to that, Clara Oswald," he chuckled.

Clara laughed with him and for a brief moment, the Doctor thought that he loved her. Everything between them had changed over the course of the last few days, it had become so much easier and so much more confusing at the same time and he didn't know what to make of it. Were they actually going somewhere? Were they, in a strange way, a couple after all? Were they just enjoying each other's company? The Doctor couldn't say and it was probably too early to know, especially after Clara's recent loss, but whatever they were doing, he really didn't want it to stop.

As if Clara had read his mind, she suddenly moved from her spot on the other end of the sofa and before he knew what was happening, she had straddled his lap and hooked her arms around his neck. The sensation of her body so close to his own made his skin tingle and the butterflies in his stomach went crazy at the excitement.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he spluttered.

Clara granted him a soft, warm smile. "I just realized we haven't done this in a while," she explained.

"This?" the Doctor asked.

She laughed and the sound of it shot straight through him. It made his heart skip a beat to hear that she was actually happy right now. "It," she replied. "I mean sex, you idiot."

In response, the Doctor raised his hands and cupped Clara's cheeks in his palms. Her skin was so soft, so warm. He wanted to be with her more than he wanted anything else in the world right now.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, his voice hushed. Then he stroked a stray strand of hair out of her face and fastened it behind her ear. "There's no rush. We have all the time in the world."

"I've missed you," she admitted. "These past few months, I've missed you. I've missed what we had even though I knew I shouldn't. And this-"

The Doctor cut her off before she had a chance to finish her sentence. Somehow, he knew what she was going to say because he felt the exact same thing. He had missed being with her, but he also felt that what they had now was infinitely better, so the Doctor simply pulled her down for a kiss. It didn't matter what they were to each other. The only thing that mattered was that they both felt and wanted the same things.

They kissed each other hungrily as if they had all these months to make up for and the Doctor could tell, that a lot of things had changed – but only for the better. When he undressed her, it felt just as exhilarating and exciting as it had the first time, but there was something else as well. It seemed as if she had only grown more beautiful in his absence. He kissed and caressed every inch of her skin that he could reach and he didn't find a single spot that wasn't perfect. Everything about her was perfect from her lovely scent to the sound she made when she sucked in her breath. By now, the Doctor knew her body just as well as she knew his, but after such a long time, it felt like he was discovering her all over again. Yet he only truly realized how much he had missed her when the Doctor finally sank into her. With their lips locked and entwined in an impossible embrace, far away from the rest of the world, he understood that they were doing more than having sex. They were making love for the very first time.

The sofa was small and narrow, but the Doctor held her so close to him that somehow, they both fit. Their breathing had returned to normal a while ago and still, Clara hadn't quite come down from cloud nine just yet. For some reason, it all felt a little too good to be true. She was happy, she was in love and the man next to her seemed to be exactly what she needed right now.

"Are you okay?" the Doctor asked softly.

In response, Clara craned her neck and smiled at him. "Yes," she replied truthfully. "More than okay. I'm happy."

His features lit up when he heard her words. "I'm happy, too. And I'm happy that you're happy."

Clara wanted to freeze this exact moment. She wanted to stay here, in this cabin with the Doctor because she knew that once their little trip ended, she would have to go back to everything that interfered with her happiness. The pressure of putting together a new album, the promotional work, the fans that recognized her in public. The Doctor was one of the few things about her life that she didn't hate.

"Thank you," she whispered before she could stop herself.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows at her and Clara nudged him in response, laughing.

"Not for the thing you did just now, silly," she chuckled. "For everything. Well, I guess that somehow includes the sex, but you know what I mean."

"Yes," he replied with a smile and Clara felt him tighten his arms around her as he pulled her back against his chest. "I know."