Tseng stared at the two men who stood in bloody disarray in front of him. His mouth was open and he was pretty sure it had unhinged as he couldn't close it enough to force out the words he wanted to scream at the moment. Reno and Sephiroth had taken turns filling him in on what had happened and he had never been more surprised to learn of a botched mission in his entire life. Sephiroth was the General of the army and one of the very few people Tseng feared, and Reno was the best Turk they had employed since Valentine. With these facts added together the plan had seemed foolproof, but they had been discovered. It wasn't the fact that they had blown everything up that surprised him. He expected that after botched missions and it actually saved him a lot of trouble, but it also gave him about three months of excess paperwork to do and he had to send a team in to clean up the considerable mess a decimated building left behind. Reno was staring at his feet and Sephiroth was staring at Tseng, but not looking at him. Tseng was used to Reno's method of dodging blame; the red-head felt that if he just stared at his shoes and looked small no one would blame him for anything. It usually worked in his favor as Tseng always felt like he was kicking a very small, sick puppy when he was punishing Reno, but Sephiroth's point-blank see-through stare was going to drive him insane. The silver-haired man's face was completely blank and he radiated absolute perfection even after such a royal screw up.

Tseng finally was able to shut his mouth and end the awkward silence with a cough to clear his throat. "Do you at least know what kind of information they were selling around?"

Sephiroth answered while Reno continued to try and look very, very small. "Nothing of importance for the most part. A few people had credible information, but not many. Does it really matter though?"

Tseng's eyes narrowed and he slammed a hand on the desk. "If it didn't matter I wouldn't have sent you in in the first place!"

Sephiroth sighed and reworded what he was trying to say. "All of the gang members are dead, all of the benefactors are dead, all of the prostitutes are dead, and all information they had is now dust floating over a rubble of a building. Does it really matter anymore what kind of information they had? They don't have it anymore."

Tseng sighed and ran a hand over his face, angered and impressed by Sephiroth's logic. He peered through his fingers at the pair, noting that Sephiroth's eyes were no longer on him. The silver-haired man was gazing at the upset Turk standing beside him and the unmasked concern he showed made Tseng feel extremely guilty. He removed his hand from his face and regained his composure, rearranging his face back into what Reno had dubbed his 'angry boss' look. "Reno." Reno's head jerked up with sickening speed, making Tseng wonder why Reno didn't have serious neck problems. his neck hurt just watching Reno's bounce on its hinges. "You are off duty for a week. Sephiroth, I cannot reprimand you, but I will be having a word with someone who can. You have caused an unnecessary amount of work to fall on the shoulders of others and I am very disappointed in you both." Reno sighed heavily and lowered his face back to the floor, his shoulders dropping guiltily. Sephiroth stiffened, his anger apparent in every flawless inch of his face. Tseng cleared his throat and resumed talking. "Off the record however, I would've done exactly the same thing."

Reno's head shot up again and he gave Tseng one of his best imitations of a confused puppy. "So we're in trouble, but you're not actually mad at us?"

"Go clean yourselves up, you're dripping blood all over my carpet." Tseng smirked and waved them out of the room, chuckling lightly as Reno's face broke into a wide smile. Reno grabbed Sephiroth by the arm and dragged him from the room, stomping happily down the hall. Tseng leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair, jumping as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He flicked it open and answered curtly. "Tseng here."

"Do you know how distracting you are?" Rufus' voice was irritated yet amused, something that confused Tseng more than he would admit.

"I'm distracting?" Tseng raised an eyebrow at the camera hiding in the corner of his office.

"Very distracting." Rufus sniggered, his voice still laced with annoyance he obviously didn't feel.

"How do I stop being distracting?" Tseng smirked at the camera.

"Get your ass up here and distract me, that's how!" Rufus gave a predatory growl that went straight to Tseng's loins.

Tseng stretched and gave an overly dramatic show of flipping through his files. "Rufus, I have a lot of paperwork to do. Can this wait until later?"

Rufus growled again. "Are you saying you would rather do paperwork than come see me?"

Tseng grinned and lounged back in his chair. "I might be saying that." He heard the rush of air that let him know Rufus' ego had deflated.

"So you're not going to come be with me?" Tseng sniggered at Rufus' rather pathetic attempt at whining.

"Do you really think I want to do paperwork? Holy hell Rufus, I thought you were smarter than that?" Tseng chuckled and hung up the phone, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair and slipping it over his shoulders before locking up his office and making his way towards the elevator that would take him to a very horny Rufus' office.

Sephiroth let Reno drag him down the hall, content to be led to wherever the red-head wanted to go so long as his view of the dress-covered rear in front of him remained unobscured. He didn't notice that Reno was talking until the red-head stopped walking and turned to face him. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow as Reno put his hands on his hips and glared at him. "Were you staring at my ass this whole time Seph?"

"Yes." Sephiroth saw no need to lie when it was obvious he had been doing exactly what he was accused of. He wasn't the least bit ashamed of that fact either as Reno had quite the amazing ass. Very, very round. Sephiroth agreed with the inner voice, remembering the very nice feel of that very round ass. He had every intention of feeling it again, but he didn't think Reno would appreciate being grabbed in public no matter how much his inner voice told him he would.

Reno frowned and blushed at the same time, looking angrily flattered. "Well stop staring at it and listen for a sec okay?"

Sephiroth chuckled. "Can't I do both?" You already proved that you can't.

"No you can't!" Reno's face was a very alluring pink underneath the thin layer of crusty gangster blood that dotted his cheeks. "Listen Seph, I'm going to my apartment and I'm gonna get cleaned up okay? I'm sick of these damned heels."

Sephiroth frowned as he finally caught the angered tone painting Reno's voice. "Why are you so angry? Did I do something wrong?" Maybe he doesn't like having people stare at his ass?

Reno sighed and shook his head sadly. "You've been nothing short of perfect Seph. I'm just pissed because I got suspended for a week. Even though I hate working a punishment is still a punishment and I don't think I deserved it. It's better than what Tseng had me do last time I botched a mission though." Reno's face took on a faraway expression and he shivered noticeably, hugging himself as if the memory were painful. "So many toilets...."

Sephiroth tried to give Reno a sympathetic smile as he held back laughter. He began walking towards his apartment. "Get cleaned up and then come over."

Reno grinned and followed Sephiroth for a few feet. "Can't I come over now?"

"I thought you wanted those heels off?" Sephiroth arched a silver eyebrow and looked at the stomping feet that followed him, feeling his own toes pinch in sympathy pain as he examined the pointy things.

Reno shrugged with an evil grin. "I could take them off myself but it would be more fun if you took them off for me."

Sephiroth felt a sudden wave of appreciation for the shoes as very tempting images flooded his mind at Reno's suggestion. He cleared his throat and shifted as the hallway grew distinctly warmer. "We should probably get all of this blood off before we...." Sephiroth cleared his throat again and tried very hard to ignore Reno's giddy giggles. "Just wear the heels back after you get clean okay?"

Reno gave him a sloppy salute before stomping back down the hall towards the elevator. Sephiroth watched the swaying hips swing away with interest, glad that he was alone in the hall. He would die of embarrassment if anyone saw him flushed as red as he was. He opened his apartment and went inside, determined to take the fastest shower he had ever taken in his life.

Tseng tapped Rufus' secretary's desk in agitation as she pointedly ignored him and continued talking on the phone. He had been waiting for her to get off of the damned phone so she could let Rufus know he was there for almost twenty minutes now and his patience was wearing precariously thin. She glared at him as she popped her gum and talked into the phone, oblivious to the danger she was putting herself in. Tseng growled and grabbed the phone from her indignant hands. "She'll call you back." He slammed the phone onto the receiver and growled menacingly. "Let Rufus know I'm here."

The secretary glared at him and pushed the intercom. "Sir there is a very pushy Turk here to see you."

Rufus' voice came through the speaker, amusement coloring his words. "I wouldn't piss off that pushy Turk if I were you. He's liable to shoot you if you continue to agitate him."

The secretary rolled her eyes before responding, not noticing the death glare Tseng was piercing her with. "I assume he can come in then?"

"Are you an idiot? Of course he can come in." Tseng didn't wait for Rufus to finish speaking and let himself into the office, slamming the doors shut behind him.

"She had better be a temporary replacement Rufus." Tseng growled as he locked the door behind him, not wanting any interruptions from the aggravating woman chewing gum outside.

Rufus smirked and lounged in his chair, watching Tseng's face with amusement. "I think she might be permanent if she gets reactions like this from you. Do you have any idea how good you look when you're pissed off?"

Tseng rolled his eyes and crossed the room. He leaned over Rufus and clutched the blonde's wrists in his own, pressing them into the arms of the chair. "Tell me she's a temporary or I'm going back to my office."

Rufus chuckled and leaned up to give Tseng a gentle kiss. "Fine, she's a temp. She's annoying as hell isn't she? I swear she's been on that phone since I walked in this morning. She's more useless than the last one."

Tseng snorted and threw the intercom a cautious glance. "Is that fixed?"

Rufus pulled his arms out of Tseng's grip. "No, but I'll get rid of her for awhile." He pressed the intercom button with a sly grin. "Candace, go take a lunch break."

"No problemo Ruffie." The girl's gum popped loudly over the intercom and Tseng cringed visibly.

"See? Taken care of." Rufus pulled Tseng into his lap with a smirk. "So how about that distracting you were supposed to be doing?"

"My apologies, I thought I was being fairly distracting already." Tseng smirked and pressed himself into Rufus' lap, grinding his hips against the Vice-president's. Rufus' sharp intake of breath let him know just how successful he was at distracting his lover. He bent his head down and toyed with Rufus' ear, nipping it as he whispered seductively. "Are you sure you want me distracting you in this chair sir?"

Rufus groaned and placed his hands on Tseng's hips. "You're staying right where you're at until I can stand."

Tseng ran his tongue over Rufus' ear and gave it a slow suck. "How long do you think that will be?"

Rufus growled and began tearing at the buttons on Tseng's shirt haphazardly, almost tearing the fabric in his desperation. "Screw standing!"

Author's Note: Heehee, I love teasing you guys! Now you know they're gonna have lemony fun-ness, but you hafta wait to know what kinda lemony fun-ness!