A/N: Good people. I have returned! The crappy things about finding your place as a working woman is that the dream projects are sacrificed at the altar of "adulting". But I have written to the last chapter so there will be regular updates. A lot has happened in OUAT since this story was first posted. A lot of complications I'm sure we'd rather forget (*coughs* *unnecessary beards* *coughs*). So please, enjoy this story as a reminder of simpler times between our lovely ladies. Not that this is a simple chapter in their love story. Enjoy!
Chapter Thirty Five
Emma's eyes fluttered open as the weak grey light of pre-dawn streamed through her curtains. She was splayed out on her front and stretched out the kinks in her body after the athletic night she had enjoyed. She smiled as she recalled how good it felt to be with Regina after so long. It seemed the older woman just kept finding better ways of pleasuring her and she turned to Regina in the hopes of a repeat performance. However, what she found beside her was cold sheets. She sat up in the bed and glanced about the room- Regina's clothes were gone. Emma sighed in disappointment. There was no greater feeling than waking up next to the woman she loved in the morning. She remembered how breath taking Regina was the first time Emma woke up beside her and how warm she felt with the brunette's body close to hers.
Typically, Emma would have just gone back to sleep but her throat was dry (no doubt from the panting and silent screams of the previous night) so she slipped out of the bed, dug around in her closet for sweatpants and a tank top and made her way downstairs. She was surprised to find Mary Margaret leaned against the sink and staring into space. A conflicted expression marred her face. For a second, Emma wondered if her mother had somehow heard her and Regina in bed the previous night or had bumped into Regina as she made her walk of shame. Either option would be embarrassing if Mary Margaret wanted to have some big talk about it. And that was the last thing that Emma needed the morning after such a glorious night. However, Mary Margaret did not seem to notice when her daughter walked in.
"Mary Margaret," Emma broke her mother's trance.
"Emma," Mary Margaret jumped slightly at the intrusion. "You're up early."
"I just wanted some water," Emma made her way to the fridge. She found a bottle of water and headed out of the room hoping to avoid any and all potential conversation about her sex life. But her mother stopped her before she could get too far.
"Last night was unexpected," Mary Margaret began.
"Which part," Emma tentatively asked.
"The dinner with Regina. What else?"
Emma sighed in relief. She was off the hook. "I'm really grateful you guys didn't turn it into a big deal. It was good for Henry to see his family try and get along."
"And you?"
Emma shrugged, "You already know how I feel."
Mary Margaret nodded slowly as though she were still processing it all. Emma was happy to let her do that if it meant that one day her parents could at least accept her choice. But there was something else in the brunette's demeanour. There was an air of hesitation about her as though there was something she wanted to say but couldn't just spit it out. Whatever had her up so early in the morning clearly weighed on her.
"Are you okay," Emma asked.
"No," the brunette confessed.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know."
Unsure of how to proceed with her mother, Emma decided it would be best to leave the woman alone. If she felt the need to share with her daughter, she knew where to find her. Emma took a gulp of her water and turned away but her mother stopped her again.
"Regina's leaving," Mary Margaret announced.
Emma stood frozen in her tracks. The two words hit her out of nowhere to the point where she was not even completely sure that she had heard her mother correctly. She turned back slowly.
"What did you say," asked Emma.
"She's leaving Storybrooke," Mary Margaret repeated. "She told me last night. She didn't think I'd tell you."
"Then why are you telling me?"
"I honestly don't know," replied Mary Margaret.
Emma slammed her bottle down on the kitchen counter.
"Don't go after her," Mary Margaret cautioned. She knew her daughter too well.
"Did she say where she was going," Emma ignored the request.
"No," explained the brunette. "Just that she was doing it to protect you and Henry. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's a good reason. I think it's best for everyone if you just let her go."
"That's best for you," Emma snapped. "Let me fill you in. Cora's in Storybrooke. She has been for almost a year now. The mess with Henry running away and Neal showing up- that was all her. Who the hell knows what else she's done. If Regina's leaving, she's either going with Cora who will eventually destroy her or she's going to do something that could get her killed. Either way, I have to stop her."
Emma did not have the time to feel anything about this revelation. She wasn't always good with feelings but she knew when to act. And now was the time for her to be in full Saviour mode for Regina. Mary Margaret rushed up to her daughter and grabbed her by the arm stopping her from attempting to running out again.
"Here's the thing about Cora. She has a hold over Regina," explained Mary Margaret. "It's not the usual mother daughter stuff. Cora obliterated everything that Regina was. And as much as she may hate her mother, Regina knows the power that woman has over her. She loves her mother just as much as she fears her. It's dangerous- for her and everyone she loves. So if Regina is willing to walk away from you and Henry after how hard she fought to break away from that, you have to trust that she knows why she's doing it."
Emma looked down at her mother's hand on her arm and then back into brown eyes, "I can trust it. But I don't have to agree to it."
She pulled away from Mary Margaret, bolted up the stairs and burst into her room. She fumbled about in search of Regina's satchel and dug out the spell book. Regina had been right the previous night. There was no time for cute little magic tricks. She needed to be the Saviour now more than ever. She was grateful that she had taken her studying seriously and had already begun English translations of some of the spells but finding a tracking spell of some kind in the old book wasted time that she did not have. She put the open book down and held both palms over it. She closed her eyes and focused on her need to find Regina. The pages started flipping and Emma fought hard to maintain her concentration until the flipping stopped on a particular page.
"Okay, give me English baby," Emma pleaded. She flicked her hand as Regina had done the first time she had given Emma the book and the foreign language transformed into perfect English. "Yes!"
Emma picked up the book and ran to a mirror. She cradled the book in her left arm while holding up her right hand to the mirror's surface. She uttered the spell. Purple smoke distorted her reflection but it gave her nothing else. She stared at the mirror intently. Her hand quivered at using more magic in three minutes than she had in her entire lifetime. Suddenly, she saw a view of the harbour in the mirror. She slammed the book shut, grabbed her jacket and ran to the door before she stopped and remembered that she did not have to drive there. She pulled on her jacket, closed her eyes and willed herself to transport to the dock. She opened her eyes and found herself still within the familiar walls of her bedroom.
"I don't have time for this," Emma yelled in frustration. She closed her eyes again, clenched her fists and pictured the dock in her mind's eyes. There was still no movement. "Shit!"
Emma opened her eyes and spotted the window. It was time for extreme measures. She walked up to the window, opened it and was assaulted with a gust of fresh morning air. She sat on her window pane with one leg hanging out.
"I trust me, I trust me," Emma chanted as she swung her other leg over so that both legs hung out the window and she faced the street. "Dammit Regina, I hope you're right about me."
With that, she took a deep breath and jumped.
Whatever vortex Emma was travelling through, spat her out so that she crashed on the ground in the harbour.
"Son of a bitch," Emma groaned as she felt the gravel pierce into her skin. Through blurry eyes she noticed two dark figures a short distance away. The blonde tried to pull herself up but gravity proved to be her enemy in that moment. It seemed that teleporting from out her window to back inside her bedroom was nothing compared to teleporting across town to the harbour. She grimaced as she tried to will herself into getting up but then felt cold hands yank her to her feet with no regard for the pain that her crash landing had caused her. When her vision became clearer she saw a livid Regina glaring back at her.
"You really have a terrible habit of just showing up where you're not wanted Miss Swan," Regina accused.
"Mary… my mom… she told me…" Emma struggled to form a complete sentence since she had just got the wind kicked out of her.
"What did she tell you," Regina demanded.
"That you were leaving," Emma replied a little less breathlessly.
"Are you kidding?! I can't trust that woman to keep her mouth shut for anything!"
Emma held onto Regina- partly to achieve some level of balance and partly because she needed to keep Regina as close to her as possible. She was under no illusion that convincing Regina to stay would be easy but she could not bear to imagine the alternative.
"So you were really just going to leave like that," Emma asked sounding more hurt than angry.
"We can't do this right now," Regina avoided Emma's gaze, her voice softer.
"Why not?!"
"Because she's watching."
For the first time, Emma looked over Regina's shoulder and saw Cora standing a safe enough distance so that she could not hear them if they whispered. But the look on the old witch's face suggested that it did not matter whether or not she could hear them. Cora knew exactly what was going on between the brunette and blonde.
"I don't care," Emma replied as she glared back at Cora. She did not know if she was trying to convince Regina, Cora or herself.
"Well, I do," Regina answered.
Emma looked back at Regina. She was pale with dark circles around her eyes. There was weariness in the way her shoulders sagged. It was reminiscent of when the curse had broken and Regina was left with nothing. It broke Emma's heart. She cupped the brunette's face in her hands forcing the older woman to look at her.
"I know you're scared," Emma said whispered. "I know that you're trying to stop the whole Daniel thing from happening again. But this is different. You're powerful now. I'm the Saviour. We can stop her together."
"What you don't understand is she has nothing to live for and everything to gain. That makes her dangerous. That makes her strong. I have you and Henry to live for which means I have everything to lose and that makes me…" Regina dropped her eyes unable to say the word.
"Weak," Emma finished the sentence. "You're like her. You think love makes you weak."
"No," Regina looked back up at the blonde. "It makes me vulnerable. And I refuse to let that vulnerability destroy everything that matters to me."
"That's not your decision to make."
"It has to be," Regina insisted. "If not for you, then for Henry. If I'm gone he can have his parents- both of his parents- and his grandparents and a real family. He can have the kind of life that you and I couldn't even dream of. You could go to California."
"We're not going anywhere without you."
"But your life will be peaceful without me. Emma, there will always be something that we're fighting against: your parents, my mother, the people in this town wanting me dead. Gold, another curse, our past- it's endless. Our son deserves more than that. Both of you do."
The mother in Emma agreed with Regina. Henry had endured more than any kid should ever have to. She wanted him to be happy and normal. She wanted for him to have everything that she hadn't. But she refused to believe that Regina leaving was the only way. What kind of happiness was Henry going to have with the woman who raised him completely erased from his life? Where was the normalcy in that?
"You can't go. I won't let you," Emma insisted. She no longer whispered. She no longer cared.
"You don't have a choice," Regina responded. The brunette stepped back and waved her hand up between her and Emma. Regina took another step back but when Emma tried to step forward to reach out to her again, the blonde was blocked. It was as if there was an imaginary wall built in front of her separating her from Regina.
The human in Emma tried to pound against the invisible wall with her fists. Then she remembered who she was. She was the Saviour. She had just teleported. A stupid wall wasn't shit in the face of that. Emma closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. It was a tough call between her breaking heart and her fear that Regina would disappear before Emma got to her. The blonde pushed her hands against the wall but it refused to budge. She tried to teleport but her feet felt like lead.
"What did you do," Emma asked Regina.
"What I had to," Regina replied simply.
Emma could feel the lump form in her throat. She could feel the tears sting her eyes. What the hell was the point of being the Saviour if she couldn't break down this damn wall? What was the point of being the Saviour if she couldn't stop Regina? As the tears brimmed her eyelids, she hated Regina. She hated Regina for forcing Emma to believe that she could make anything happen when she couldn't. She hated Regina for being such a coward. She hated Regina for making her love the impossible woman when a tiny part of her knew that it would probably only destroy her.
Regina turned away. Emma hoped it was from shame. She hoped that Regina would forever feel the pain that wracked the blonde. She wanted to hurt the Evil Queen. She wanted to burn her.
"My mother was right about you," Emma yelled out of spite. "You're incapable of love! And I was an idiot to think that your heart was anything but black and broken! Now I know better. I'm glad you're going because you never loved me and you never could."
Regina clenched her fists and bit down on her bottom lip as though she were fighting the urge to respond- to cry, to speak, to blow Emma to hell.
"Regina," Cora's voice cut between them like the cold blade of reality. "Regina!"
Regina turned to her mother. She stared at her old tormentor for a long moment before she turned back to Emma. She then stepped up to the invisible wall between the blonde and herself.
Regina whispered, "My love for you resembles the eternal rocks beneath- a source of little visible delight, but necessary. I am you- you're always, always on my mind."
Emma recognised the quote. She understood the words. It was Regina's way of confessing her love. Once again, Emma was breathless. It was a confession but it was not the words. She still could not say the words.
"I was supposed to just break your heart so that you could move on without me. To make this less painful for you. To make sure you didn't wait for me or try to find me. Now I'm quoting Bronte because I can't stand you thinking that I don't… care. You see, love is weakness," said Regina.
With that, the brunette walked away. With all of Emma's begging and crying and yelling, Regina did not turn back. Not once. Every step that she took away from Emma, became another sharp jab through the blonde's heart until she collapsed on the floor sobbing. Emma had known heartache throughout her life but she had never felt it as intensely as she did in that moment. She could not watch Regina go. Her eyes clouded with tears, the sound of her own calls of Regina's name in her ears, her hands and knees raw from the gravel as she tried to hold herself up. And the hope. The pathetic hope that Regina would change her mind. That everything could go back to the way it was between them just hours ago as they lay tangled in her sheets. But when she forced herself to look up several moments later, Regina and Cora had disappeared. It was all over.