Chapter 10: Search Party

On my drive home I felt dazed. I still couldn't wrap my head around what had happened. It was as if my brain couldn't process it. They couldn't be gone. This was all just a dream, I would wake up soon. I'd wake up and the Cullens would still be here in Forks, and everything would still be okay.

Unfortunately, in the back of my mind, I knew better. They were gone. They weren't coming back.

I walked into the apartment, not really paying attention to where I was going. It was like all my actions had become mechanic and my brain was elsewhere.

"Mel? Where the hell were you?! I called you a bunch of times–I was worried," Paul said right when I was through the door. I didn't say anything to him. I didn't even look up at him. "What's wrong?"

"The Cullens…"

"What did they do to you?" he asked sharply.

"Nothing, they didn't do anything to me," I said. "They…they left."

"Where's Bella?" he asked gently, guiding me to the couch and sitting beside me on it.

"I…I don't know."

"Do you think she's safe?" he asked.

"I don't know."

The shrill ringing of the phone made me jump. Paul left my side and went over to it. I didn't pay attention to what he was saying. My mind couldn't process it. They couldn't be gone–they couldn't have left. I couldn't accept it. For some reason, my mind refused to let the reality hit me. They could not be gone.

"Mel," Paul said softly, coming back into my vision. "I need to go. Bella's missing."

"Don't leave me!" I cried desperately, clinging to his hands.

"Okay," he said. "I won't leave you. Do you…do you want to come with me?"

"I…" I hesitated.

"You know I have to go, but I can ask Sue to come down here and stay with you if you want."

"Where's Emily?" I asked. Emily would be good to be around. I wanted to be with her right now if I couldn't be with Paul. I almost wanted to go to Jared's house, but in the back of my mind I knew that he'd be helping Sam and Paul find Bella…and I knew that Paul would definitely not approve of that.

"She's at the Swan house with Charlie, trying to keep him calm."

I hesitated again. "Then I'll come with you."

He gave me a look. "You don't have to."

"I don't want to be alone," I admitted. It was more than that, though. I couldn't bear to have Paul leave me. With the departure of the Cullens it felt like everybody was just walking out of my life altogether.

He grasped my hand and pulled me out to his car. The drive to Forks was very, very quiet.

"What about the other guys?" I finally asked.

"They're already there," he said. He shot a quick glance at me, and then asked, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. I could tell he knew I wasn't being honest with him, but he didn't press the matter any further. When we arrived at Bella's house there was a lot of people standing out front. Sam, Jared, Harry Clearwater, Jacob Black, and Emily were all there. Charlie was sitting down on a lawn chair looking exhausted and worried. Emily and Jacob were standing beside him, talking quietly to him. When we got out of the car, Paul went straight for Sam and I went straight to where Emily, Jacob and Charlie were.

"They'll find her," Emily murmured. "Those boys can sniff out anything."

Jacob looked uncomfortable. I knew he had issues with the pack, but I also knew that he didn't have any problems with Em and me–but I knew it was still an uncomfortable situation for him to be in with both of us here.

"Yeah Charlie," I said. "She'll be fine." Charlie didn't say anything. Emily, Jacob and I kept talking to him, trying to convince him that it'd be okay. It was like I was trying to convince myself that it'd all be okay as well. It was hard, considering I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry my eyes out.

"Charlie," Jacob said urgently, pointing in the direction of the forest. Charlie's head snapped up and I saw Sam coming out of the woods carrying Bella. She was pale and looked lifeless. Charlie rushed over to her and Sam and took her out of his arms. I saw his knees buckle a bit under her weight, but Sam steadied him. Charlie held Bella close to him and took her inside. Paul and Jared came out of the woods not too long after Bella was inside the house. The three boys were shirtless, and I knew they had phased to search for Bella.

Paul came over to me and tucked me under his arm. He pulled me along to his car and we got in. He drove in silence. Neither of us seemed to want to speak. He didn't turn into the apartment parking lot; instead he just drove right by. I turned to look at him with a question mark look on my face. He didn't take his eyes off the road, so I had to say something.

"You missed the turn," I said quietly.

"I know," he said. "We aren't going home just yet."

"Where are we going?" I didn't really want to know the answer.

"There's a bonfire tonight," he said. I could tell he was choosing his words very carefully.

"Why?" I forced myself to ask.

"We're…celebrating." He bit his lip.

"Oh."

"We don't have to go," he said.

"No. You shouldn't miss it because of me," I said.

"Mel it isn't–"

"Paul, I know that you're happy they're gone," I said. "Don't try to hide it from me because you know I was friends with them. Don't lie to me."

He took a deep breath and raked a hand through his hair. "I'll take you home if you want."

"No," I said immediately. "I don't think being alone will help me right now. I want to be with you."

"Okay." He took my hand in his and squeezed. He pulled up to the beach and I could see that people had already started celebrating. There was a huge fire going already, and it looked like the flames touched the sky. People were dancing around–they were eating, drinking, and just all around having a good time. They were all so happy.

Right away I knew I shouldn't have come.

Paul pulled me over to where Sam and Emily were sitting together–he had his arm around her shoulders and they both had big grins on their faces. Jared was sitting with them, and Paul and I sat beside him. I was surprised that I was sitting between the two of them. I guess Paul was in too good a mood to get territorial over me. I looked around to see the Clearwaters sitting not too far away. Even Seth and Leah were here dancing and laughing.

I didn't really know many of the other people here. Sure, I had seen a few of them in the grocery store during my shifts, but I had never really spoken to them. I could see Jacob, Embry and Quil laughing, and even the elders were cracking jokes to each other and having a good time.

Was I really the only one who couldn't enjoy this? I guess it was different for me, considering my relationship with the Cullens and Bella, and that I had grown up in Forks.

"Paul, I need to leave," I said after what felt like hours, but had probably only been about half an hour.

"Okay, let's go," he said.

"No," I said immediately. "You stay. You should be able to enjoy this."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I got up and started to walk home. It was drizzling a little bit, so I tilted my face up, loving the way the cool droplets soothed my skin.

"Mel!" I heard Jared call from behind me. I ground my teeth and groaned quietly. "Wait up!"

"What?" I demanded. I realized my tone probably sounded harsher than it needed to be, but I just wanted to go home and be alone.

"You shouldn't be alone," he said.

"Why?" I asked in irritation. "The Cullens aren't around to 'hurt' anyone anymore!"

"Still, let me walk you home," he said.

"Will you talk?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"I don't."

We walked in complete silence. My mind was so preoccupied with thoughts about the Cullens that I didn't even notice when tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Mel, you're crying," he said quietly.

"So?"

"They were important to you, weren't they?" he asked.

I wanted to get mad at him for asking such an obvious question, but I felt like I didn't have the energy, so I softly said, "They were my friends and now they're gone."

He put his arm around my shoulder. "It's okay."

"No it isn't," I said, shaking my head. "You guys have hated the Cullens since they came here. It's different for you."

"They were a threat," he said quietly. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for Paul and me when you'd go over there?"

We had reached the apartment by then and I felt my anger rising. "How the hell are they any more of a threat than you?!"

"We protect."

"They don't hurt humans!"

"Didn't you see what they did to Bella?" he hissed.

I felt my brow furrow. "So he left her out in the woods. Big deal. He probably left her on the path, but she's stubborn. She probably tried to follow him."

"No," he said. "Her arm."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "She wore a sweater today and when I saw her earlier tonight she had a jacket on."

"She has stitches," he said. "Charlie told us to be careful not to jostle her arm too much when we found her, in case the stitches ripped. And we all know where she was last night."

I stiffened, and I knew Jared felt it, but my mind was whirling. Suddenly it all clicked into place. Edward had said there had been an accident last night and that they were leaving because of what his family was so that she would stay safe. I remembered the look on Jasper's face today in the garage. It had to have been him. Idly, I wondered exactly what it was that had happened. Had Jasper's self-control just suddenly snapped and had he attacked her?

"Mel?" Jared asked quietly, snapping me out of my reverie.

"I'm sorry Jared…I…I have to go."

I stepped out from under his arm, turned away from him and went into the apartment.

Oh my God.

No wonder Jasper had looked so ashamed in the garage today. No wonder the Cullens had all been so upset and obviously shaken by it. It had been so strange to see the Cullens looking so sullen and sad today. I wasn't used to seeing that. It had been especially odd to see Emmett so subdued. Normally he was such a happy person, but not today.

I stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. I knew that I should probably eat something, but I couldn't even bring myself to open the fridge and look inside of it. I wandered into the bedroom and pulled my comfiest sweat pants out of the drawer. I slid off my jeans and pulled on my sweats, basking in the comfort and warmth of them.

I stared at my bed, debating with myself as to whether or not I should crawl under the covers.

I just didn't want to function. I felt numb and empty. I wandered back out to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. I felt like my body wasn't even under my control anymore, it was as if it was just going through the functions of existing.

In the fridge there were at least five boxes that I knew had been from the party. I pulled one out and took it to the table. I set it down and saw that it was the birthday cake–it hadn't even been touched. I felt tears prickle behind my eyes. Even the box itself still had their scent on it. I pulled a fork out of the kitchen drawer and sat down at the table. As I ate a tiny bit of the cake–it was so huge I could barely eat any of it–I let the tears fall freely. I finally let it all out and bawled my eyes out.

When I was full, I put the cake back in the fridge and crawled into bed. I hugged my pillow close to me, fighting the urge to cry again. I wanted Paul here. I wanted him to come back and hold me tight against him.

I fell asleep before that could happen.