My sincere thanks to Lolo84 and Capricorn75 for their pre-reading and beta skills. I can't thank you two enough for all your help and encouragement. And thank you to all you wonderful readers for your kind words of encouragement via reviews. Thank you so very much!
Chapter 35
Bella and I were sitting at the kitchen table with our coffees and the newspaper one Sunday morning. Bella did the crossword while I read the obits. Don't ask - it's one of my weird-isms. Sometimes I know people; sometimes I don't. Most of the time I'm thankful I wasn't in there. A lot of the time I'm annoyed by the write-up. I mean, if someone died 'suddenly and tragically' can't you find it in your heart to post why for those of us morbidly curious? It would save me a Google search. And if your father, rest in peace, was ninety years old, was it really sudden when he passed on? Just giving you something to think about the next time you write an obituary.
As we were relaxing, Jacob and Vanessa walked into the kitchen, hand-in-hand, and asked if they could talk to us for a minute. When your kid voluntarily wants to talk to you, you stop whatever you are doing and listen because it's probably important. If your son is already sweating bullets and the girlfriend looks like she might throw up, you pop an anti-anxiety pill and then talk.
"Am I going to need another cup of coffee?" I joked, but I saw Nessie nod with a serious look on her face.
I fixed both Bella and myself some extra-strong coffee and prepared myself for the worst. Of course, the first thought that came to mind was that she was pregnant. They say condoms are 99% effective. Jacob must have hit the 100 mark and met his fate. Was I really going to be a grandpa at forty-three? Was it weird if I asked the kid to call me 'Uncle' instead of Grandpa so I didn't feel so old? I wondered if calling me Uncle but Bella 'Gramma' would be confusing to the kid?
When I couldn't avoid them any longer, I sat back down beside Bella.
"What did you need to talk to us about?" Bella asked, as she brought her cup to her mouth and softly blew on it before taking a sip. How she always remained so calm, I'll never know.
It was Nessie who began speaking first.
"This is difficult for me to tell you, especially after dating Jacob all these months. Please know, I meant no disrespect." Nessie looked over at my son and he nodded his encouragement to her. She let out a breath before she blurted out her secret.
"I have a daughter. Madeline – she's almost three."
"W-what?" I croaked out. Internally I said 'Holy fucking shit!'
"I got pregnant when I was eighteen – by my high school boyfriend. We had an amicable separation when our baby was six months old but he's still very much a part of Maddie's life. I love her more than anything."
Bella set her coffee cup on the table and smiled at Nessie.
"I have no doubt that you do. Well, this is certainly a surprise."
There was a solid minute of uncomfortable silence. I certainly wasn't going to be the one to open my mouth and say something idiotic. Thankfully, Bella spoke up and broke the silence.
"Nessie, forgive me for being so blunt, but why did you feel you had to hide her from us?"
"I wasn't hiding her - I was protecting her. I've dated here and there since my ex and I separated, but not once have I ever introduced Maddie to a boyfriend. Her health and wellbeing is the most important thing to me. I always wanted her to have a stable life, and boyfriends- or girlfriends, in my ex's case- coming and going was something we both agreed we wouldn't subject our daughter to. But I know what Jake and I have is something special and last weekend, I finally introduced the two of them."
Until then, I'd been wondering how Jake felt about dating someone with, pardon the expression, baggage, but the huge grin on his face said it all.
"She is the cutest little thing ever. She's beautiful like her momma." Jacob reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind Nessie's ear.
"Have you known about Maddie all along?" I wondered.
Jake nodded. "Nessie told me on our first date."
"I'm always honest with guys I date. Some aren't into a girl who already has a kid and that's fine, but not someone I obviously want to pursue a relationship with. Maddie never was an issue for Jake." The couple exchanged smiles.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Bella looked to Nessie for the answer. I was glad she was asking the hard questions. It made me look like the good guy for a change.
"I really wasn't sure how you guys would react. I'm already the 'older woman' dating your son. First impressions are huge. I thought if you knew I had a kid so young, you'd think I was a tramp or something." She shrugged and looked down at her hands and paused for a moment. "Not that it matters, but even though Maddie was an accident, she was never not wanted. And she's always been loved."
I looked at her face and could not only see but feel the love she felt for her young daughter.
"Why tell us now?" I asked.
"Nessie is quickly becoming very important to me." Jake raised his eyebrows at me in such a way that I immediately understood that this was far more serious than he'd ever led on to before. I guess that explained the happy look about him recently. "Her ex is moving out of state next month. I know I'm not Maddie's dad but I can see myself stepping into that roll. I - we, wanted to make sure you guys realized that I am okay with this. I want this. One day, I want to officially make Nessie and Maddie my family."
I hadn't realized that my 'wow' was out loud and was quick to apologize.
"Sorry. This is a lot to absorb."
"I understand. I'm sorry for not telling you both about Madeline earlier. She's everything to me, and I never wanted someone to dislike her simply because of my circumstances. I also want you to know, I am not pressuring Jake to be anything more than a positive male role model in her life. She has a father – he just happens to be moving 5000 miles away."
"I don't know what to say. Sorry, this never happens to me." I shook my head at myself.
Nessie laughed at me; her words made me blush. "Yes, I have learned that about you over the past few months."
"Can we, I mean, will we be able to meet her?" Bella asked quietly and both Jake and Nessie smiled.
"Of course. She's extremely shy around new people – part of the reason why I took so long to introduce her to Jake, but I'd love for you to meet her."
"You'll adore her as much as I do," Jacob said, confidently.
"Speaking of which, I actually have to go pick her up from her dad's. I'm sorry I don't have more time to spend with you and I promise to answer any questions you have. I'm sure you want time to talk to Jake alone anyways. Please, forgive me for not telling you."
"Well, thank you for being honest with us." Bella put it so eloquently.
"Talk to you later?" Nessie asked Jacob who nodded. They kissed briefly before she let herself out, leaving the three of us alone in the kitchen.
"Heh, heh. Nothing like a bombshell, huh?" My son laughed nervously, not sure what to expect from us now that we were alone.
"Holy shit comes to mind." I received an arm smack from Bella. "Sorry, but come on, that's from way out of left field. A kid? Does she live with her?"
"They have joint custody so Maddie lives with each of them half the time. Are you mad?"
"We're not mad," Bella said.
"No, more like in shock. Maybe we'll be mad later."
"Edward."
"Sorry."
"You're really okay with this? You're walking into an instant family." Bella reached over and held onto Jake's hand.
"Surprisingly, I am. I love Nessie and I can see myself loving Maddie. How can I not love something that came from her?"
"Even if that something wasn't a part of you?" I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I was being honest, something Jake didn't chastise me for.
"Truthfully, I didn't know how I would react to actually meeting her. Would she hate me? Would I even like her? Little kids are messy, clingy, and needy, you know? I was a nervous wreck. Nessie warned me that she was really shy and may just run back to her room without a word. But within twenty minutes, Maddie was sitting on my lap, snuggled right up to my chest showing me her dolls. And you know what? It felt right holding her. Nessie got all teary-eyed and said she's not even like that with her parents, and they're pretty close. It made me feel like it was meant to be. And then when we found out her ex was moving away, I don't know, it really did feel like it was supposed to be."
Bella wiped away a tear as she listened to her son talk so honestly about his feelings. Sure, we'd had meaningful discussions before, but this was the first one where I felt like I was talking man-to-man with him. He was raw and honest; so refreshing to see. I realized then, that he truly had matured more than I ever thought over the past few months.
"You sound really content," I noted.
"I am. Crazy, right? I feel like Nessie was a part of me I didn't know was missing. And then I met her daughter and she fits right into my life, too. Do you think I'm nuts?"
"I think you're in love. And when you're in love, you accept the person as they are. For most people, you have to get used to their annoying habits like leaving the cap off the toothpaste." I winked at Bella and she rolled her eyes. "In your case, you'll just have to get used to sharing more than the bathroom sink. I can't tell you it will always be easy. Lord knows raising a child together is tough."
I thought back to all the fights Bella and I had after Leah was born. It's hard to learn how to balance being a spouse, parent, lover, employee, and friend. Like when the honeymoon is over, you learn to live with your spouse's habits that were endearing before. Having a baby is something that takes patience and a lot of work.
Bella agreed with what I was saying. "I imagine being a step-parent is harder than being the parent, as well. And you have to remember that Madeline's needs will always come before you. Sometimes that's hard to accept, but it's the way it is when you have kids."
"I know. There have been many date nights that Ness had to cancel because Maddie was sick or the babysitter bailed. But I think I have a big enough heart to love them both."
"There's no doubt in my mind that you do." Bella got up and went around the table to pull Jacob into a hug and I did the same.
"Thanks for being so cool," Jacob told us sincerely before he left to study.
Really, what choice did we have? You can't choose who you fall in love with. He happened to love a girl with a daughter. I was proud of him for stepping up the plate and not being scared away. I couldn't say I would have felt the same.
About two weeks later, we met the infamous Madeline. Bella and I watched from the living room window as Nessie walked up to the house, a little girl in her arms, her head resting on her mother's shoulder. Jake met them at the front door and within minutes, the three of them walked into the living room together, roles reversed. Maddie had her little arms wrapped tight around Jacob's neck, her face buried between his shoulder and chin. She certainly had taken a liking to our son.
Jacob announced her arrival in a quiet, yet royal sounding voice.
"I'd like you to meet Miss Madeline." The little girl made no attempt to greet us. Very comfortable with kids, Bella took the lead; I smartly kept my mouth shut not wanting to scare her away.
"Oh, I was hoping a little girl would come over to play. I have a new dolly that's been waiting for a friend." Bella sat the doll on her lap where Madeline could see. Behind a veil of dark hair, I saw one little eye sneak a peak.
"I thought a tea party might be fun. I have some cookies, too."
Nessie shyly smiled her thanks at Bella's gestures as Jacob sat down with Madeline still firmly attached.
"Thanks, Mom. I'd love some tea. I sure wish someone would pour it for me." He sat down beside Bella, with Maddie still clinging to him – chest to chest - her little legs wrapped around his middle like a monkey. After a minute, she lifted her head and whispered something ever so quietly in Jake's ear.
"Madeline is wondering if there's enough for her."
"There most certainly is and enough cookies for everyone. I'll just leave things right here in case anyone feels like having any."
Then Bella struck up an unrelated conversation with Nessie, leaving the doll on the couch between her and Jake. It took a little while but soon enough, Maddie ventured off Jacob's lap but stayed as far away from Bella as possible. She brushed her hair out of her face and smoothed down her dress over her white tights. She looked around and realizing no one was paying attention to her, poured a cup of tea into a tiny teacup and set it carefully before the doll. Bella and I avoided eye contact with her but we both had to smile.
Next, Maddie poured a cup of tea and brought it over to her mom, and one for Jacob who declared it to be the best cup of tea he'd had in his whole entire life. I saw the smile tugging at the little girls lips and I couldn't help but to smile as well. My big, burly, six foot two son holding a tiny plastic teacup in his fingers, pinky extended was quite the sight. He sipped from it like he was having high tea with the queen. It was in that moment that I realized he was more than cut out for this. He was a natural.
Very tentatively, Maddie poured two more cups and slowly walked over to Bella. She stood before her and offered it much like a peace offering. Bella smiled and thanked her profusely.
When it was my turn, the little girl inched her way over to me, set the cup down on the coffee table in front of me and ran back to the safety of Jake's bulky arms. I couldn't help but grin. Leah had been shy like that when she was that age. Charlotte and Jake were never shy – wonder whom they got that from! - but watching this little girl brought back memories of my oldest.
By the end of the afternoon, Maddie had warmed up to Bella enough to exchange a few words. She left that day giving me a cautious high five before she left with Nessie and her new doll. She opted to leave the tea set behind for another visit one day soon.
Jacob, Bella, and I sat back down in the living room talking about the meeting.
"She's pretty cute," I admitted.
"I know, right?" Jacob's smile was infectious.
"She's certainly comfortable with you." Bella leaned back against the couch.
"Nessie said that's rare. I have to admit, I like that she likes me." He paused and drummed his fingers on the side table nervously. "I, uh, think she's the one I'm supposed to marry. Nessie, not Madeline. Obviously. Falling in love with a kid would be weird."
"I figured that marriage talk was coming."
"You did, Dad? How?"
"Look at your face, son. You are so ridiculously in love – with both Vanessa and Madeline."
"I guess I am. Gotta say, it feels good."
"You know what I love about all this?"
"What's that, Dad?"
"That you're going to have a daughter. And one day Maddie's going to ask you to buy her tampons, and you'll say 'hell, no' and she'll bat those pretty little eye lashes and you'll cave." I laughed.
"Not likely."
"Oh you scoff now, but just you wait. And you will interrogate any boy who comes knocking on your door wanting a date with her."
Jacob's brow furrowed and I continued, because I was just getting started.
"And the first time you catch her with a boy with a hand up her shirt, or worse, dry humping on your couch or screwing in your car, you'll have an aneurysm."
Beside me, Bella was trying to contain her laughter and Jake got up in a hurry.
"Yeah, uh, I should probably hit the books. I have an exam tomorrow." Before he left, he kissed Bella's cheek and extended his hand to me.
"Thanks, both of you, for being so supportive and understanding. And thanks for the dose of reality. Shit." He left the room shaking his head at all the scenarios I'd planted.
I pulled Bella to my lean against my chest, wrapping my arms around her and resting my head on her shoulder.
"That was mean."
"I know. Wasn't it fun?" I chuckled as Bella jabbed her elbow into my side. "Did you notice how the two of them looked so much alike?"
"I thought the same thing, Edward. She looked so much like Jacob; he could have been her father. With Vanessa being so fair, I wasn't expecting that. I guess she takes after her dad. Both Maddie and Jake have those big, expressive chocolate brown eyes; those long lashes. Even some of their mannerisms were similar. And they were so at ease with each other. That was something I couldn't get over. I mean, Jake playing tea party and soothing the doll when she was pretend crying? Wow. It's like he said, maybe it was meant to be."
"How are you feeling about it all?"
Bella shrugged against me. "Jacob's never done things half-assed, you know? He plays hard, works hard; loves hard. If anyone is cut out to have an instant family, I know he is."
"Wasn't he the kid who not that long ago stole my car to have sex with his girlfriend in the middle of the night then crashed on the way home?"
"He's come a long way. Remember, he's also scholarship winner, Valedictorian, and college student."
I shook my head. "That's so effed up!"
"What's effed up?" Charlotte asked as she came into the living room.
Leah and Charlotte didn't know about Maddie yet. It was something we were leaving to Jacob to explain when he thought the time was right.
"We were just talking about how fast you kids grow up, is all." Bella covered up quickly as her cell phone rang. Seeing it was Rosalie, she excused herself to take the call, no doubt to fill her in on everything. Our daughters may not have known about Madeline, but our friends certainly did.
Charlotte flopped down in the chair opposite me. "So…"
"How was your birthday dinner and sleep over with your friends last night?"
Had my baby really just turned seventeen? Crazy.
"It was good. We met up at … You know what? I can't lie to you anymore."
"Anymore?" Exactly how much had she been lying to me in the past?
"You make me feel all guilty with your whole 'let's always be honest with each other' talk."
I quirked her an eyebrow.
"Uh…Paul and I…we….uh, we were together last night."
"Yeah, I assumed he was going out for dinner, too."
Charlotte raised her eyebrows at me. "Together together."
It took me a minute.
"Ohhhhhh!"
I wasn't sure how I felt about actually knowing that she'd lost her virginity the night before. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she felt comfortable enough with me to tell me but it also felt weird. Was I supposed to ask her how it was? Find out if he used a condom? (He sure as fuck better had!) Inquire as to where they did it? Was any of this any of my business? What exactly was a dad's protocol for this? Pretty sure there wasn't one. Damn, I wished I had time to consult Google but instead I had to wing it. You know that never bodes well.
"You didn't sleep at Crystal's last night?"
Great start, dumb ass.
Charlotte shook her head and I scratched mine. I couldn't believe I'd fallen for the old 'I'm sleeping at a friend's house' trick. Shit, I was getting old. But there were more important things to address.
"How are you? Are you okay?"
Charlotte gave me a shy smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was sort of scary, but yeah, I'm good."
"It's just as scary for the guy the first time."
"Really?" Charlotte sounded surprised.
"Heck, yeah. We know that we're hurting our girl. That part sucks." Not to mention that our lasting capabilities are slightly less than stellar the first fifty times or so.
I thought back to mine and Bella's first time in my bedroom all those years before. The pain that flickered on Bella's face as I pushed into her would always resonate in my heart.
Char nodded then spoke quietly, her eyes downcast.
"It won't always be that way, will it?"
I wanted to tell her that practice makes perfect but I refrained.
"No, baby. It can be an amazing experience but it does take some getting used to. If he truly loves you, the guy will be as gentle as he can for as long as it takes."
"Paul was sweet the whole time. He must love me."
"Do you love him?"
"I do."
I wanted to cry. Hearing my baby say she loved a man that wasn't me kind of hurt my heart. Sure, I always knew the day would come but it didn't make it easier. Somehow, I managed to curb my tears and asked her to sit close beside me.
"I guess you're a woman now, huh?" I pressed a kiss to her temple.
Char shrugged. "I guess. Can I still be your little girl, too?"
I smiled.
"You betcha." I snuggled her in close and we sat in silence for a few minutes. It took me that long to realize she was quietly crying.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I smoothed my hand over her hair, from the top of her head down to the ends as she took a moment to answer.
"I feel different."
Oh shit.
"Uh, pregnant different or just different?"
She managed a low chuckle through her tears. "We used protection so no, not pregnant different, just different. I didn't think I would. Don't get me wrong - I don't have any regrets - I wanted to do that with Paul. I can't explain it."
I thought I'd give it a try.
"Sex changes everything whether you want it to or not. It forms an even stronger connection than you thought possible. It also makes you very vulnerable. Not only were you physically stripped naked but emotionally, too. And in that state, you put all your trust in another, that's a scary thing to do. So, it's no wonder you feel different - you are different."
My daughter looked up. "How do you do it?"
"What's that?"
"Find the words to make everything make sense. You always know what to say." Charlotte hugged herself into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her and held her close.
"It's trial and error, baby girl. Sometimes I hit the nail on the head and other times, I'm an embarrassment to myself."
"And me."
"Thank you for that." I laughed.
"But most of the time, you say exactly what I need to hear. You're not mad are you?"
"For what - having sex?"
"That and for lying to you about going out with friends for my birthday."
"It's not like you could have told me what you were really going to be doing last night. I sure as hell wouldn't have let you go out."
I was teasing her – sort of.
"Besides, you're the first one of my kids to come tell me about it the next day. That shows you have integrity."
"Or balls."
I laughed, again. "Or balls. You're definitely my kid."
"Did you tell Grandpa after you had sex the first time?"
"My Dad? No. My brother, yes."
"Did Mom tell her parents?"
"You're kidding right? As far as Grandpa Swan is concerned, your mom and I have had sex three times to make three babies. End of story."
"Are you going to tell Mom about Paul and me?"
"Am I allowed or did you want to?"
"I'd actually prefer if you did. I'm afraid she'll lecture me more about safe sex than anything else."
"Shit, I probably should have done that, huh?" I put on my deepest 'dad voice' and got ready to school her. "Charlotte, don't even think about having intercourse without a condom. Not even for a fleeting moment. There's something called pre—"
Charlotte held a finger to my lips.
"Please stop. I've taken sex ed. I know exactly what you're referring to and I don't want to ruin this moment by talking about it."
I nodded, her finger still against my lips. Truthfully, I was thankful she knew so I could simply enjoy the moment with my daughter in my arms. We stayed like that for a while until Jacob came back down and plopped down on a chair.
"I've been meaning to ask, what's with the play tea set?" Charlotte asked. Jacob and I exchanged looks.
"Uh, Nessie sort of has a kid."
"Holy shit, really?"
"Yeah, she's three; her name's Madeline. Mom and Dad met her for the first time this afternoon."
"Wow, what's she like?"
"She's really cute, Char. She's super shy but she likes me."
"Are you going to marry Nessie and be her step-dad?"
"I hope to, yeah."
"Huh. We haven't talked in a while apparently."
Jacob laughed. "No kidding. Hey, you want to grab some dinner with me and catch up? My treat – consider it part of your birthday present."
Charlotte smiled. "That sounds like fun. Should we call Leah? See if she wants to come?"
Jake agreed and called Leah, who happened to be free because Adam was busy for the evening. Brother and sister headed upstairs to get ready and fifteen minutes later, Leah had arrived. I loved that she knew our home was still her home and let herself in with her key. I greeted her with a big hug and kiss. Bella came back, oblivious to what had happened while she was on the phone, so Leah explained the kids were going out for the evening.
"Really?" Bella looked confused.
"Yeah. We haven't hung out for a while." Leah shrugged like it was no big deal, but it was. I couldn't remember the last time all three had voluntarily gone out together.
"Hey, Leah." Jake gave his sister a hug when he joined us in the living room. He'd fixed his hair – spiked up in the front a bit – and had on jeans and a button up shirt. You have no idea how sweet I thought it was that he dressed up for his 'date' with his sisters.
"Hi! Thanks for inviting me out. This'll be fun."
"Yeah. I thought maybe dinner and a movie?"
"Sounds good. Where's Nessie tonight?"
I watched Leah's face as I anticipated Jacob's answer.
"She's home with her daughter."
"Wh-what?"
Jacob, Bella and I all laughed – the look on Leah's face was priceless.
"You're serious?"
"Very." Jacob grinned.
"Shut up! You're like a step-dad?"
"Well, not now. But I want to marry Nessie so, yeah, I will be."
"That's a whole lot of crazy, Jake."
Jacob chuckled lowly as he pulled his phone from his pocket. "Wanna see pictures?"
"You have pictures of a three year old on your phone now instead of porn - you're definitely a dad now."
"The porn's still there," Jake clarified.
"Thank God, I was worried about you for second there. Now show me pictures of your kid."
The two of them huddled together as Jake scrolled through about fifty pictures.
"Dude, she looks like you, that's crazy." Leah shook her head in disbelief.
"You think so? Yeah, I guess, kind of." Jake smiled to himself, as he looked at one of the photos.
"What about you and Adam – you guys going to have kids?"
I cleared my throat. "Ring first, please."
Leah laughed. "Yes, Daddy, ring first."
"You two talking marriage? Like seriously?" Jacob asked and Leah nodded and answered quietly.
"Yes, we are." She shrugged like it was no big deal but I knew better.
"Hey! I'm ready to go." Charlotte bounded into the room wearing jeans, thigh high boots and an off the shoulder shirt. Before I could open my mouth to say anything, Jacob beat me to it.
"You're not wearing that. Go change."
"But—"
"No."
Charlotte rolled her eyes and stomped back up to her room.
"And wash your face," Jake called over her. "You're too pretty to wear that much make up." He shook his head and sat down, Leah following suit. We all knew it could be another hour before she was ready.
"And so it starts," I chuckled.
"What starts?" Jake looked at me.
"You. Making Charlotte go upstairs to change. She's your sister, not your kid."
"Well I'm sorry but that outfit wasn't age appropriate…oh shit. I've turned into a dad." We all laughed at Jacob smacking his head.
Surprisingly, Charlotte was ready in record time and the three kids got up to leave.
"Hey, did you guys want to come with us?" Jake offered at the last minute. Bella waved her hand.
"You kids go, it's nice for us to see you guys bonding."
"Yeah, don't worry about us. A house with no kids, I'm pretty sure we'll be fine. Maybe do our own bonding." I wriggled my eyebrows and Charlotte told me I was disgusting. I still had the ability to gross out my kids, awesome.
"Hey – thank you both for being so great with Nessie and Maddie earlier."
"No problem, Jacob," Bella told him on behalf of both of us.
"And Dad, thanks for the talk," Charlotte gave me a shy smile and I nodded at her. I squeezed Bella's hand letting her know I would explain everything in a few minutes.
"Any time, kiddo. And Jake? Take my car tonight – the keys are hanging up."
Jacob grinned like the year Santa brought him a brand new BMX bike on Christmas morning.
"Really? Wow! Thanks a lot!"
With that the kids took off for their date, leaving Bella more confused than ever.
"Are you going to explain things to me? There must have been some serious bonding going on for you to let Jake take your beloved baby out."
"You have no idea. Come on, let's go make some dinner, open up a bottle of wine, and I'll fill you in." I extended my hand to her and together we walked to the kitchen.
"I have a feeling I'm going to need more than a bottle of wine."
"We can go straight for the tequila if that makes you feel better?" I half-teased.
"Oh God, what did I miss?"
Two hours later, Bella was caught up to speed and we were both slightly drunk.
We'd pushed our dinner plates aside, the remnants of our meal all but wiped clean, our fourth or fifth glasses of wine before us. The candles we'd lit slowly burned their way down to the wick. Bella was lamenting about how our babies had all grown up so much within the last few months.
"They've grown up before our eyes. They were just our babies – toddling around in diapers and onesies. And now Leah's going to get married. Jacob too. He'll step into the role of father at the same time as husband. Then there's Charlotte. Edward – she had sex. It's like a right of passage to womanhood. My baby, my sweet chubby-cheeked, thumb-sucking Charlotte, is a woman." Bella's finger traced the top of her wine glass as she spoke. She looked up at me, her make-up smudged like a raccoon under her eyes from the random tears that had fallen during our long discussion. She was still beautiful to me.
I turned my chair so I was facing her, cupping her face in my hands. I stared deep into her misty eyes for a moment and smiled at her before I leaned in for a passionate kiss.
"Leah isn't getting married just yet." I paused to smile at my wife again, reassuring her that things weren't changing over-night. "And I think Vanessa and Madeline are good for Jake. He's always been grounded but now he truly has his feet on the ground."
"And Charlotte? Tell me something good about her losing her virginity?" Bella's eyes pleaded with me and I was left scratching my head.
"Shit, Bella, I don't have all the answers. Maybe it's that we know she's in love, you know? Char said she was going to wait to have sex until she was really, truly in love. Hasn't our wish for our children always been that we want them to be happy?"
Bella nodded as she swiped her fingers under her eyes in an attempt to fix the black smudges.
"Well, I truly believe that in this moment, they are. Leah is blissfully in love with Adam. Jacob is content with both Nessie and Maddie. And Charlotte, she's happy with Paul."
Bella's eyes welled up with tears, again, as she listened to me.
"I love you."
I smiled because Bella slurred her words and it was ridiculously cute.
"And I you." I tapped my finger on the end of her nose. "Even though the kids are growing up and moving out before we know it, there is a plus side to all this, you know?" My finger traced the v-neck of her shirt, dipping lower that was necessary. Bella watched me with hooded eyes as I licked my lips in anticipation.
"And what would that be, Mr. Cullen?"
My answer came in the form of a kiss, my tongue probing deep. God, I loved the taste of the red wine on her tongue. I couldn't stop kissing her; didn't want to. The love I felt for Bella in that moment not only as my wife, best friend, and lover but as the mother of my children, knew no bounds.
While kissing her, my head was filled with quotes of love that I'd often peppered through my books.
"The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or touched, they must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller. Bella and my children taught me that, every single day.
"There is no remedy for love but to love more." Henry David Thoreau.
And my personal favorite by Mother Teresa: "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
I pulled away from the kiss only far enough so I could really look at my wife. The beauty etched in her face shone through in her spirit. With my finger, I followed the creases along her forehead. She hated them but to me, they told the story of our life. Like the life rings on a tree trunk, the lines in her forehead represented her timeline with me. I drew my index finger down the side of her cheek and my thumb traced across her lower lip. She parted her lips slightly, her breath warm on my fingers.
I tangled my fingers in the length of her hair as it hung down her shoulders. My eyes searched hers as she stared back at me with those sinful undress-me eyes.
Right then, I profoundly understood the words Mother Teresa so eloquently spoke of. Bella, Leah, Jacob, Charlotte. I loved them with my whole being, so much that it scared me to think of how broken I would be if anything ever happened to any one of them. I was not whole unless I had them all in my life. When they were happy, I was happy. When they hurt, I hurt. I smiled at Bella and repeated the quote for her ears.
"'I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.'"
Bella's lips curved upwards; the corners of her eyes crinkled with her smile. There was no doubt that she loved me as I loved her. Truly, madly, deeply.
"I like that quote. 'If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." Bella nodded as she thought about the depth of those profound words.
And then, because I was drunk and an idiot and have never learned the art of keeping my mouth shut when I'm ahead, I started singing.
"Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars. Any heart, not tough, or strong enough, to take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain. Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain. Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts."
Bella gave a drunken snort as she took another sip of her wine. She leaned in close, her lips brushing against mine as she begged me to kiss her again. You can bet your ass, I did.
Before I knew it, drunken hands were tugging my shirt over my head and it was tossed aside with her shirt, followed by my pants and hers. Undergarments were removed unceremoniously before Bella straddled me where I was sitting. Bella and I literally came together as one at the head of the table. Together - just as we'd raised our family. The only way I'd ever wanted it to be.
This is essentially the end of the story of EA Masen. *sniff* I'm already missing my made up family.
I have some outtakes to post and three epilogues. I hope you'll read the epilogues - they really complete the story. Epi 1 takes Jacob into the future. Epi 2 is Charlotte's turn and Epi 3 is saved for Leah. I hope you'll tune in for those.
THANK YOU ALL so much for taking the time to review. Love you for it!
As a PS: I'm on twitter if anyone is interested: VanCanuckGrl