Disclaimer: Twilight and all the associated characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. The story line and all their naughty little actions come to you courtesy of me.

Investing in Love – Chapter 37

I wake up after my morning nap and stretch out my arms and legs. My muscles are feeling stiff from being in bed all night and most of the day. The clock reads 4:00pm and I realize I have almost slept the entire day away, but I still feel exhausted. I take Edward's jacket off, fling it over the chair, and decide I should probably try to eat something.

I step outside my door and I can hear the TV. It sounds like someone is watching 'What Not to Wear'. I take a peek and see Rosalie and Alice casually sitting on the couch, both with a glass of wine in their hands. They don't realize I'm there until they hear me opening the cabinet door.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" Rosalie of course is concerned.

"I'm doing better," I lie. They're not stupid and obviously know I'm lying, but they are kind enough not to call me out on it.

"I'm glad you're going to try to eat again. Would you like me to fix something for you?"

"No Alice, I think I will just start with some crackers. Thanks though." I reach up and grab the crackers and get myself a glass of water.

"You know Bella, Rosalie and I were talking and we were wondering if you maybe need to go back to a therapist…you know, like you did after the first incident with James."

"I appreciate the thought guys, but it's…it's…"

"It's what?" Rosalie encourages me to continue.

"Well, the James thing bothers me a little bit, but that's not what bothers me the most."

"Well, what is it sweetie? You can tell us." Rosalie is anxious to hear what I have to say.

Alice, who is naturally intuitive, already knows what I'm going to say. "It's Edward, isn't it?"

I feel a lump form in my throat and I know I will not be able to get the words out so I simply nod my head in admission. Rosalie in turn nods her head in understanding.

"Well, I know you're not ready to talk about this now, but just know we are here for you whenever you are ready."

Once again I can't form the words and I feel the emotion bubbling up inside of me. I simply nod my head in understanding and take my crackers and water back to my room. My girls know me well enough to know I just need some time to myself.

When I get into my room, I remember what they said about the therapist and it reminds me of the visits I used to have. My therapist used to have me keep a journal. Every day I would write down what I was feeling. Sometimes it was hard for me to vocalize my feelings; somehow putting them in writing was easier for me. I walk to my night stand and open the drawer. My old journal is just sitting there collecting dust, with a black pen still attached to the side binding. I sit at the edge of my bed and open the journal to the first available blank page.

Day 1

I feel betrayed and hurt. Will I ever be able to trust another man again? Why did this have to happen?

Day 2

I slept in Edwards's jacket again last night…It was the last time though. It makes me feel comforted to have it on, but I know it's a false sense of comfort. It has to stop. Jacob said I could come back to work whenever I'm ready. I feel so drained…I feel lost.

Day 3

Okay, I'm giving myself a week before I have to officially give up Edwards's jacket. The girls are concerned about me and Alice threatened to send Jasper in to talk to me. I sat in the living room and watched some TV with them hoping that would appease them. I think it worked.

Day 4

I just got word today that James is still in a coma. They say if he doesn't come out of it soon they will have to pull the plug. I don't know how I feel about that. The man was an awful person, but I don't wish him death.

Day 5

Why didn't Edward tell me what James was up to? Why didn't he trust me enough? Why did I trust him?

Day 6

I guess watching TV with the girls wasn't enough to appease them. They sent Jasper over today. I guess he has a minor in psychology and he is using me as a guinea pig to flex his psychological muscles again. I didn't ask him about Edward….but I wanted to.

Day 7

It's been a week since the incident. I was supposed to give up sleeping in Edwards's jacket last night….that didn't go over so well. I couldn't sleep. It makes me mad that it comforts me so much, but I don't know what else to do about it.

Day 8

Edward sent me a text today! It simply said 'I miss my Dancing Queen'. I didn't respond.

Day 9

Jasper came by to tell me they are pulling the plug on James tomorrow. He asked how that made me feel…but I didn't really know how to answer that. I do feel a little relieved that I won't have to worry about him anymore. The problem is I'm hurt more by Edward's actions than by what James did to me…..maybe I will tell Jasper about that...I'm having a hard time understanding it.

He texted me again…'thinking of you'.

Day 10

He's gone. James is gone.

Edwards's text today read 'This isn't the outcome I expected, but I can rest better knowing you are safe'.

Day 11

Jasper came by again and I told him about my feelings towards Edward. He thinks James's actions don't hurt as much because I was never in love with him. He thinks it's different with Edward because I am in love with him….am I?

His text- 'I know you know how I feel about you…I just want you to know that hasn't changed.'

Day 12

It's been long enough so I decided to go for coffee with the girls today. I felt like I was being watched. Could it be Edward?

His text- 'I dream about you, but it doesn't compare to the real thing.'

Day 13

I told Jasper about going out for coffee yesterday. I told him about feeling like I was being watched and he thinks I have Post Traumatic Stress syndrome. He thinks it will take time, but I will get better. He assured me I had nothing to worry about, and that he's proud of me.

His text- 'They say time heals all wounds… I don't think there is enough time in this lifetime to heal the wound of losing you.'

Day 14

I went to yoga today. I still had that feeling of being watched. I know I'm just being crazy. Jasper said it will get easier over time.

His text- 'Do you miss me?'

Day 15

His jacket is losing his scent. I wonder what Jasper would say if I asked him to bring me one of Edward's shirts from his hamper. I haven't told Jasper about the jacket, but he would probably think I have gone off the deep end if I told him that. I do miss him.

His text- 'I'm forgetting what my purpose is.'

Day 16

I need to get back to work. I went out shopping the other day and I still can't shake the feeling of being watched. If it's Edward, I will be so mad. I think I'll text him.

He promised it wasn't him, and now he seems worried. I probably should have never texted him.

Day 17

I had a good day at work today. I seem to be getting back into the groove, but I kept looking at the door, hoping Edward would walk in. I'm starting to wonder if Jasper was right.

His text- 'I know Jasper thinks your feelings of being watched are PTS, but you can never be too careful. Please make sure you are locking your door. Sweet dreams my Dancing Queen.'

Day 18

I confessed everything to Jasper. I told him about the jacket, about the dream, and even about how much I miss Edward. Jasper always has a calming effect on me and he didn't make me feel like a crazy lunatic. He said he wouldn't steal one of Edwards's shirts for me though, but I'll keep working on him.

His text- 'I hope you will be able to forgive me. I just want to be able to talk to you. I need to know you are alright. Jasper won't tell me much.'

Day 19

I had the feeling of being watched today at work. Jacob also let it slip that he has been talking to Edward. I guess they are BFF's now.

His text- 'I would like to say I would take back everything I did wrong, but the truth is… I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if you are not with me, I couldn't bear the thought of a world where you are not in it.'

Day 20

I received a gift today….It's one of Edward's button down work shirts. It came wrapped in a box with a tag that read. 'If this is the only way I can comfort you then so be it. I won't deny how happy this makes me.'

I can't deny how happy I am when I put it on…..It smells just like him.

Day 21

Jasper came over again today, and it was the first time I've seen him frustrated. He is tired of both Edward and I moping around. He said it is obvious we want to be together. He doesn't deny it will take me awhile to build trust again, but he thinks we need to talk. I sent Edward a text. 'Thanks for the shirt.'

His text. 'I would do anything you asked of me Bella, don't you know that?'

My text. 'Yes.'

His text. 'I miss you.'

My text. 'I miss you, too.'

His text. 'Sweet dreams, my Dancing Queen.'

My text. 'Sweet dreams Edward.'

Day 22

Edward and I have been texting back and forth. I'm starting to feel better and getting back into my old routine. I'm also trying to ignore the feeling of paranoia I've been having. Edward swears he is not keeping tabs on me…he only gets his info from Jasper or Alice when they are around, but can I trust what he is telling me is the truth?

His text. 'I find myself wishing away the day and wanting the night to last forever, because when I close my eyes…it's you I see.'

Day 23

It's been over a month since I went to Twilight. Demetri is getting fussy with me. I really want to dance again….but I know he has cameras there. Jasper understands my hesitance and told me Edward will be out of town tomorrow, so I made plans with Demetri for tomorrow. I can't wait!

His text. 'I don't know how much longer I can stand being apart from you.'

Day 24

I had a great day at Twilight. It felt so good to be dancing again. I enjoyed it so much I've decided to forget about the cameras and just enjoy myself. Demetri and I are starting back on a schedule. I was skittish on the way home, but I pulled my phone out and called Jasper. He talked to me until I got back to the apartment. I couldn't wait to put Edward's shirt on and go to bed.

I didn't get a text tonight…. He must be busy.

Day 25

It's been another day and I haven't heard from Edward. I could send him a text, but I don't have the nerve. Work must be occupying his time.

Day 26

I'm so mad I can't see straight. There was a picture of him with Medusa in the local newspaper. It looked like more than a business trip to me. Did he get tired of waiting for me? She got her fake nails into him, I just know it. The part that pisses me off the most is they looked like a couple that belonged together. She fits into his world. She is perfect….even if she isn't real.

He didn't text me again today….It's for the best….right?

A/N: Okay, so we have had some time pass and a lot of info all balled up into this one chapter because let's face it, who wants to read a bunch of chapters without Edward in them ;) That being said….Yes Edward will be back in the next chapter. I am so enjoying reading all your comments and I appreciate every single one of them, thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to make my day a little brighter with all your thoughts. Your words are my motivation. If you like the story, please review. Your kind words and constructive criticism would mean the world to me. If you don't like the story, then remember what your mama told you, "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." I hope my story brings you a welcoming escape into the world of fantasy.