Chapter XXXVI: Lullabye

"Here you go, three cups of coffee and three cupcakes!" Dayzee said cheerfully. "Christmas shopping takes its toll on you, doesn't it?

Taylor smiled at her. She had just sat down with Thomas and Steffy at Dayzee's coffeehouse after a morning spent running from one store to the next in search of the perfect Christmas presents. It was a rare thing for the three of them to go shopping together, but she was glad they had done it. Even though her children were all grown up, it felt good to spend some real family time with them now and then. Especially now, after everything that had happened this past year.

"This is perfection!" Steffy exclaimed, picking up her cupcake. "Almost too pretty to eat."

"Zee always makes them like that - they are the best in town", Marcus commented. He had the day off from Forrester today and was helping Dayzee out at the coffee house since it was quite busy there at the moment.

"That is your unbiased opinion?" Dayzee said with a smile.

"Definitely", Marcus replied.

"Good", Dayzee said, placing an affectionate peck on his lips.

"Enough already, you guys are so cute together I can't stand it", Steffy commented.

"Steffy!" Taylor said with mock reproach, then continued slyly, "Speaking of which, my maternal instincts say you have your eyes on someone new…"

Steffy looked at her mother suspiciously.

"Who did you send to spy on me?" she said.

"I know my daughter", Taylor said with a secretive smile. "Also, I just happened to hear you chatting with this Mark person on the phone the other day, making some plans for tomorrow…"

"Mom!"

"It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop, I promise", Taylor said, "I just coincidentally…"

"Yeah, right!" Thomas interjected, laughing. "Far be it from you to get involved in your kids' love life."

"Well, at least one of my kids actually has a love life for me to get involved in", Taylor retorted. "What about you, Thomas? Isn't it about time you get out there and start dating? Is there really not one of all those pretty girls at work…"

Steffy shot Thomas a curious glance. He looked away awkwardly.

"Not really, no", he said and took a sip of coffee.

"Hi, everyone!" Amber shouted happily, making her way to the table with Rosie on her hip. "How's it going?"

Everyone looked up and greeted her. They hadn't seen her as she came through the front door just now, but Dayzee and Marcus had been expecting her. Amber was dropping off Rosie with them for the weekend and they had agreed she should bring the child to the coffee house as they were both working there.

"Hi there, sweetie!" Marcus said, picking up Rosie.

Amber smiled proudly at their daughter. It was amazing how smoothly it had all worked out, her and Marcus co-parenting, even though they weren't romantically involved, and of course, Marcus had Dayzee. Marcus sat down at the table with the child in his arms.

"She seems a little sleepy", he commented. "What have the two of you been up to?"

"Oh, the usual", Amber said. "Playing in the park…"

"Sounds like fun", Dayzee said, smiling. "Hey, if you're not in any hurry, why don't you stay for a while and have coffee with us?"

"Maybe I will", Amber said. "I have some sketching to do later on though, but it can wait for a while…"

Rosie stirred and yawned. Taylor looked at the child, smiling.

"She's a precious little girl", she commented. "You are doing a wonderful job being her mother, Amber. You really have grown up a lot since I first got to know you, when you were that teenager from Furnace Creek…"

"Parenthood does that to you", Amber said with a smile. "And I wouldn't want to go back for anything. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I feel like I'm finally doing something right, you know? This time, for the first time in my life, I feel like I won't mess things up."

"You won't", Marcus said. "We make a good team."

"Yeah", Amber said happily, "yeah, you're right. Hey, I'll be right back, I just had an idea!"

Amber disappeared from the table for a moment. Steffy and Thomas looked after her with surprise, then turned to Dayzee and Marcus who also shrugged, indicating they had no idea what she was up to. A minute later, however, Amber reappeared. She was standing on the small stage with a microphone in her hand.

"Hi, I'm Amber", she introduced herself. "Some of you already know me and if you do, you know I love to sing. But there is one thing in this world I love even more. This song is for her."

The music started and Amber started singing, her eyes resting on her daughter who was dozing off over at the table with Marcus.

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
Then you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away

Anthony, who had been sitting alone at another table in a corner quietly eating a sandwich, looked up as Amber's voice filled the room. There was something in that sound that moved him profoundly. It was not just that Amber was a good singer, it was the depth of emotion in her voice, and the look in her eyes as she sang to her little daughter. That very moment, it suddenly hit him. There was nothing more profound, nothing more fierce, nothing stronger than a parent's love for their child. Why did that conclusion seem so significant now? Immediately, that familiar sense of foreboding came over him. Maybe it was the fact that Christmas was approaching, but Anthony had a sudden feeling that everything he had been seeing in his mind's eye for nearly a year was somehow linked to this peaceful scene that played out before him - a mother singing a lullaby to her child. That was the essence of this season, after all. The birth of a child, this joyous occasion, this newborn promise of salvation, of hope… it all started when that one sacred child was born. And somewhere at the core of all of this drama with the Forrester family, Anthony instinctively knew, in a flash of certainty, that there was also a child. A child had triggered all this somehow. Only this time, Anthony feared that the end result would not be any reason to celebrate…

He listened as Amber continued:

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

As she sang, Anthony's mind wandered. Images floated in his mind, not of the future, but of the present. He could see them all, as clearly as he could see little Rosie in her father's arms right now, as clearly as he could see Taylor smiling at her son and daughter over a cup of coffee and a cupcake, as clearly as he could see Dayzee softly rubbing her belly with an introverted smile when she thought nobody was watching…

Macy at the city court after the adoption finalization hearing, tears of joy in her eyes, holding Noah as they had pictures taken with the judge.

Pam, alone in her bedroom, eating lemon bars and talking affectionately to a picture of her beloved rottweiler Tiny.

Ally and Thorne at the beach house, sitting at the piano, laughing as they tried to come up with yet another verse of The Basement Blues.

Brooke on the phone with her youngest son RJ, inviting him to come home for Christmas.

A parent's love… a parent's urge to protect their baby at all costs...

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Anthony looked around. His eyes landed on a poster someone had pinned to the wall - a picture of the Virgin Mary and Joseph in the stable, and Baby Jesus between them in a manger. At the bottom of the poster a few words were printed: The birth of the son of God brings salvation. Anthony read those words over and over. Somehow, there was a clue there. He could feel it. Something that could help him understand the disaster that threatened to strike among the Forresters.

Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, he heard a voice. He didn't know for sure if it had come from a nearby table or if it was all in his head. But the words had been clear enough:

"Read the opposite."

Perplexed, Anthony read that short phrase again. The birth of the son of God brings salvation. Then, tentatively, with a strange feeling of dread, he did what the voice had suggested. He replaced every word of that sentence with its opposite.

The death of the daughter of the Devil brings damnation.

What did it mean? He couldn't make head or tail of it. And yet it felt as though he should, as though those strange words held the key to everything. But he was unable to interpret them and had to give up. He had never seen the Devil, much less "the Devil's daughter".

Amber finished her song:

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die
That's how you and I will be

Anthony shook his head sadly. Yes, someday they would all be gone.

The doorbell at Brooke's rang. Finally! Ridge was coming over for dinner tonight, and Brooke was determined to make the most of it. Wine, food from his favorite restaurant (Brooke hadn't cooked in years and wasn't about to start now if she could help it, at least not at a time like this when everything had to be perfect), romantic music… now all that was needed was the man himself.

"So, I called RJ today", she began as she greeted Ridge at the front door. "He says he'll come home for the holidays."

"That's great news, Logan!" Ridge exclaimed. "That kid has been away at boarding school too long already. He's how old now? I can't remember…"

Brooke laughed.

"Come on in", she said. "Dinner is served."

"Music to my ears!" Ridge joked.

They sat down at the dinner table. Brooke poured Ridge a glass of wine and then poured some for herself. She looked into his dark eyes and noted that nothing had changed, really, since that night when their eyes had met while she was helping her mother do the catering for the Forresters' dinner party. That night when she had first met Ridge and fallen head over heels in love with him. He still had that effect on her, even now. He only had to look at her and her whole body responded.

"I'd like to propose a toast", she said. "To new beginnings."

"To new beginnings", Ridge agreed. "And to learning from past mistakes…"

"Whose mistakes?" Brooke asked suspiciously.

Ridge looked at the ceiling and started counting on his fingers.

"Well", he said, "I will not jump to conclusions about a silly text message, if you won't accidentally sleep with your daughter's boyfriend believing it is me…"

"Ridge!"

Ridge laughed.

"You are never going to let me off the hook for that one, will you?" Brooke said.

"I think it's alarming", Ridge said. "It shows something very clearly…"

"What?"

"That you need to be reminded, and very frequently, of the difference between my body and anyone else's."

"And how should we do that?" Brooke asked. "I am so forgetful, you know. My memory is not what it used to be…"

"I can think of a way…" Ridge said with a grin. "Are you terribly hungry right now?"

"For food?" Brooke asked. "Not really, no."

"Good", Ridge said. "Because I had a sudden appetite for something else."

Hope discreetly sneaked in from the garden. She knew that her mother was having Ridge over for dinner tonight and assumed that they would not like to be disturbed. What little she had picked up of their conversation confirmed that assumption. Quickly, Hope fled up the stairs and into her own room. Ridge and Brooke hadn't noticed her - they had seemed much too occupied with each other. After all this time, it appeared that they were getting closer again, almost the way they had been before Ridge had disappeared off to Europe a few years ago. Maybe it wasn't too late for the two of them to patch things up after all, Hope thought. It would make her mother so happy - Brooke had always been in love with Ridge, Hope knew that.

It had never been like that between Brooke and Deacon. Hope remembered how whenever Deacon's name was mentioned, a dark cloud had come over Brooke's face. Of course, Hope knew why. It was because of Bridget. Because Deacon had been married to Hope's sister when he had slept with Brooke. That kind of scandal was hard to get past. And it was only natural that Brooke had cut ties with Deacon, for Bridget's sake if nothing else. If Brooke had kept in touch with Deacon, Bridget would never have forgiven her mother. As it was, Hope had the impression that her big sister genuinely loved their mother, and that there were no hard feelings or awkwardness between herself and Bridget.

And yet…

And yet, Deacon had been Hope's father. She had needed him, she had needed to know him. All those years when she was growing up, believing that he didn't care about her, that he didn't want her. And it just hadn't been true. Hope had sensed that, that short precious moment before the fire, when they talked. Her father had loved her. He had wanted to make up for lost time. But he had never had the chance. Now he was gone. Dead.

Hope sat down on her bed and took out the photos of herself and Deacon - the only photos she had of them together. She had lost count of how many times she had looked at them these past few months. If only she could turn back time…

The phone rang. Hope picked it up, quickly pushing her melancholy thoughts aside.

"Hello?"

"Hope? Hi, it's… it's Oliver."

"Oliver?" Hope said with some surprise. She hadn't talked to her former boyfriend in quite some time even though they had run across each other at Forrester, of course.

"Hope I'm not calling at a bad time", Oliver said. "I just saw you at work today and you looked a bit preoccupied, so I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Thanks, Oliver. That's very sweet of you. I appreciate it."

"A lot of people care about you, Hope. And we want to help you get through this. I'm really sorry about your dad. I'm sorry, I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable…"

"No, not at all", Hope said hurriedly. "I'm glad you called. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

"Well, you know you can always talk to me", Oliver said in a friendly voice. "That's what I'm here for. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"I won't", Hope said with a smile.

"Maybe we could meet some day?" Oliver suggested. "You know, grab a bite to eat or a cup of coffee or go to the Bikini or something…?"

Hope smiled.

"Yeah, actually that would be really nice. I haven't got out much lately."

"Well, I can change that!" Oliver said confidently. "How does tomorrow sound to you?

"Perfect", Hope said. "I'm looking forward to it!"

"Tomorrow it is", Oliver confirmed. "I promise, you won't regret it!"

"That's them! I can hear the car!" Alexandria whispered excitedly to her father. "Are you ready?"

Thorne looked around his living room. The decorations were all in place - every corner of the room was filled with balloons, there was a huge pile of wrapped gifts on the floor and a big cake on the table. He nodded to Alexandria. Everything was ready. Thorne went to the front door, waiting for Macy's knock.

The moment it came, he flung open the door, and on cue, Alexandria joined him in the cheerful cry of "Surprise!". Macy, holding Noah in her arms, stopped on the doorstep, open-mouthed.

"What in the world…" she said, looking around. "The two of you did all this? I…"

"We thought you might want to celebrate today", Thorne explained with a wink. "I hope you don't mind us not clearing it with you first."

"I… so that's why you wanted us to come over!" Macy said, laughing. "I should have guessed. Wow… um, gosh…"

"You okay?" Thorne asked.

"Yeah… yeah. Yes! Of course I'm okay", Macy confirmed. "I just never expected… all of these presents. I mean… it's almost too much…"

"Well, this isn't just any day, is it?" Thorne said.

"Wait till you see the cake!" Alexandria filled in.

Macy went to the table, guided by Thorne, and looked at the cake. A magnificent chocolate cake with "Congratulations, Mom!" written on it in large letters. She read the words a couple of times, until they started blurring…

"Oh, no, no, no, no crying!" Alexandria exclaimed, seeing that Macy was tearing up, and quickly handed her a paper napkin from the table.

"Sorry", Macy said with a smile, wiping her eyes. "I just haven't got used to it all yet. I keep thinking I must have misunderstood something, that there's a catch somewhere, that someone will show up and tell me to give him up, that I don't really have the right to call myself Noah's… Noah's mother."

"But you are", Thorne said reassuringly. "You are his mother. Noah is your son. Legally and in every way that counts, for life. I'm so happy for you, Mace. I know how long you've dreamed of this."

"Longer than I can remember. But that moment today in court when the judge spoke the words, it was just… it was unreal, so much bigger than anything I had imagined…"

"I know the feeling", Thorne said, smiling. "I felt the same way the day Alexandria was born. The day I became a father was the greatest day of my life."

He smiled at his daughter, who looked away, a little embarrassed, but pleasantly so.

"Hey, why don't you open the presents?" Alexandria said, changing the subject. "I can hold Noah while you do!"

Macy allowed Alexandria to pick up the baby and turned her attention to the gifts, opening them one by one. A lot of toys. Baby clothes. A gift certificate for diapers. And the "pièce de résistance", as Aly put it, a brand new crib.

"Thank you so much", Macy said. "I really don't know how to thank the two of you enough. You've already done so much for me, and now this… I'm just so lucky to have you in my life. Both of you."

Thorne smiled.

"We are the lucky ones", he said. "And don't you ever forget that. What do you say we let Noah try out that new crib of his? He's looking a little sleepy."

Macy looked at the baby who was resting in Alexandria's arms, appearing as if he was about to doze off.

"I think you're right", she said, taking the baby. "It's way past his bedtime already."

"Oh, is that the time?" Alexandria asked innocently. "I just realized I am late to Christina's. She's having a pre-Christmas party tonight", she added as an explanation. "Just a bunch of girls from school. We're all staying the night. Sorry I have to cut this party short, Macy."

"Popular girl, huh?" Macy commented. "One party after the other."

"She takes after me", Thorne said proudly. "Get your things ready, Aly - I'll drive you there. If you're okay with being abandoned for a little while, Macy?"

"Of course", Macy said. "I have to put Noah to bed anyway."

"Good", Thorne said, taking his car keys. "I'll be right back."

Half an hour later, Noah was sound asleep and Macy was sitting alone in the living room. How her life had changed these past few months! How much had happened, horrible things, wonderful things… She rose and went out onto the deck overlooking the ocean. It was too dark to see, but she could still hear the waves crashing onto the shore. For the first time since her final confrontation with Luigi, tonight she was able to hear that sound without fear. At last, the beach was a friendly place, the sea was just a sea, and its sounds were once again reassuring, comforting, like they had always been before. Luigi hadn't ruined that for her.

"Lost in thought?" Thorne's voice asked softly.

Macy turned around.

"Thorne!" she said. "I didn't hear you return. I was just listening to the waves, that's all."

"I do that a lot too", Thorne said. "Always have. After a long day at work, all it takes for me to clear my mind is just a few minutes out here. It's so peaceful."

Macy nodded.

"It is now", she agreed.

Thorne shot her a worried glance.

"I'm sorry, Mace", he said. "I didn't mean…"

"No, it's all right", Macy said, interrupting him. "Really. It is all right. That's what I was thinking about just before you came. I feel the same way you do about this place."

"You always did", Thorne reminded her, gently putting an arm around her shoulders. "I think I got my love of the ocean from you."

"Really?"

"It's no wonder, really", Thorne continued. "After all those years together, we must have grown quite alike. Not that we didn't have a lot of common to begin with…"

"Like the singing?" Macy suggested.

"Like the singing", Thorne confirmed. "I think the first time we ever sang together all those years ago, that was the moment that I knew for sure…"

"Knew what?"

"How good we would be together. And I'm not just talking about the music."

"I know. Although the music was pretty good too, wasn't it?"

"It was", Thorne confirmed with a dreaming look on his face. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it lately. Ever since that night on the Queen Mary, before… before the fire. But for a few minutes there, it felt like we still had it. Like we could do it all over again."

"I remember", Macy said, smiling. "You said you wanted to drop everything to go on tour with me."

"I really was only half joking, you know", Thorne said. "And every time I go to work in the basement at Forrester lately, it's all I can think about. Being on a stage, with you. Do you remember Rotterdam?"

"No. I wish I did."

"You will. And even if you don't, we'll make new memories, even better. You and me, singing in front of thousands of people…"

"It sounds wonderful."

"It will be. If it's what you want too."

Macy thought for a while. It seemed so far away, like an impossible dream. She looked at Thorne, then pictured her own face in her mind's eye. They weren't young anymore. Way past what an unforgiving and youth-obsessed music industry would consider their expiration date. And yet… and yet. They had something. She had felt it that one time a few months ago. If anybody could do it, they could. Together.

"It is what I want", Macy finally said. "Maybe it's crazy, and maybe we're fooling ourselves, but I think we have what it takes. Stranger things have happened."

"Yes", Thorne agreed, softly caressing Macy's face. "Stranger things have happened."

He leaned forward and kissed her, then put his arms around her, holding her tightly, protectively. They were silent for a while. Macy closed her eyes and leaned her head against Thorne's chest. She could stay like this forever. But she didn't resist as he started guiding her away from the deck, gently leading her into the bedroom, slowly, without letting her out of his embrace, as if they were two parts of one single organism. And still without letting go of each other and without speaking a word, they lay down on Thorne's bed...

It was so different, Macy thought. Nothing like all those times in the past two years when she had given up her body to Luigi's desires in return for temporary relief from his ever present rage. Having sex or making love - no two things could be further apart. With Luigi, there had always been an undercurrent of disgust whenever he touched her, one that she had more or less successfully tried to suppress. But Thorne's hands, his body against hers, his kisses and his passionate embraces… they all felt right. Even if she couldn't remember, her body did, and her body recognized all of it. Everything about him was familiar, it felt like coming home. For the first time, or what felt like the first time, she let herself fall. Deeply, with no reservations. And it was both a thrill and an immense relief.

"Macy," Thorne whispered, still out of breath. "Are you crying?"

Macy nodded, then smiled and pulled Thorne into an even tighter embrace.

Later at night, as they lay close together and Thorne was sleeping soundly, Macy observed him, his handsome face lit by the moonlight, his bare chest rising and falling slowly and evenly. How she loved him! She reached out her hand and touched him lightly, just so she could feel his heart beating. Her fate was sealed now. Wherever he went, she would follow. Because that is what love is about - true love.

True love…

Macy remembered Anthony's words that night at Dayzee's, as he had read her fortune. He had promised her true love, and he had been right. What was it that he had said, exactly? Yes - true love like Romeo and Juliet, like Tristan and Isolde, like Anthony and Cleopatra…

Suddenly, it hit her, like a punch in the gut. The reason why she had felt from the start that there was something off about Anthony's promises of future romance, and the reason why she had felt this nagging unease whenever she thought back to his predictions.

Yes, all those couples he had mentioned had been legendary. Their tales of romance had inspired artists, writers and musicians for centuries. They had all found true love beyond what most people could ever imagine.

And they had all died.