Murdoc sat in the waiting room of the hospital with his face in his hands. The doctors had told him that the cut wasn't that bad, it looked like whoever cut him had been going rather deep, but then went shallow probably around the time they thought they heard cop cars near by. He also said that 2D didn't have any serious head injuries or broken bones, but he had a rather large bruise on his right side over his rib cage, black eye, bruises on his neck, arms, chest, middle of his back, and various cuts on his face along with a few on his hand from where they had taken the knife from him during the fight.

The Satanist was relieved to hear that there was no serious injury, quite a few stitched, a bit of bleeding, and a lot of soreness for the next week or so. Those were things 2D seemed to be accustomed to, usually injuries caused personally by Murdoc, but that was a different time…Now the bassist sat in an uncomfortable gray chair groaning and yanking at his greasy hair as he waited for his other two band mates to arrive. He had been slightly thankful when Noodle had answered, he hated worrying the young girl, but she didn't give him any hell. She had been worried, but calmed a bit when he explained the situation at hand. He knew Russel wouldn't be the same way; Murdoc really wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

He wished he fucking knew what those guys looked like. He wanted to find them and murder them; he didn't even care if he ended up in the electric chair. He knew he should have went with 2D, followed him just to make sure that nobody screwed with him. If he had gone with him then if those guys had tried anything Murdoc could have taken care of it, could have protected the blue haired man….Yet he had to hang around talking to idiotic girls and people telling him it was wrong to be with another man.

He thought about himself for a bit, how much he loathed hospitals. He'd rather stitch himself up, pop some pills, and sleep it off instead of go to a hospital. They made him remember all the times growing up that he ended up in them, broken bones, the stench of his own blood, and the sensation that he'd probably die from his father's over abuse….This wasn't about him though, it was about how he should have been looking out for 2D, keeping him safe. Ever since he'd ran the kid over with his van he'd become Murdoc's responsibility, for awhile that drove him insane, and made him resent the younger man, but anymore he wanted the responsibility. He wanted to be every role that he could be, he wanted to protect him and love him, but he'd fucked up on protecting him.

He wished that he had something to drink, he was nearing sober right now and it drove him insane. He hadn't had anything to drink since sometime before the concert. He'd really want something to drink when Russel was there screaming at him, telling him how he couldn't take care of 2D, accusing him of not even giving a fuck. Sometimes Murdoc still wished he couldn't feel, the things he felt anymore scared the hell out of him. It scared him how somebody could make him feel weak, vulnerable, and so open when he allowed himself to be….He craved it though, he had never been open or vulnerable with anybody before in his life. He craved that and the care the singer gave him more than the drugs he shoved into his system to shorten his life span.

"Where the fuck is he at?" Russel's voice yelled booming through out the vacant waiting room.

Murdoc growled and lifted his head up glaring up beneath his fringe at the drummer who towered over him. Noodle stood by his side with her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans; she looked worried, and nervous.

"In room 79, t'ey go' 'im all stitched up an' stuff…Said he fell asleep right after t'ey got done wit' the stitches…A couple cops went in to talk to 'im while they were checking him over." The bassist replied his voice sounded distant and he didn't even really meet the larger man's white eyes.

"I can't believe you let this happen, I told you this was going to happen. No you couldn't listen to me, because all you fucking care about is the shock value."

Murdoc stood to his feet and moved closer to the drummer.

"I didn' fuckin' mean for this to happen, yew really t'ink I wanted t'is to happen to him?" The Satanist yelled angrily.

"Yeah maybe you did, it's a good little stunt for you isn't it? Treating 2D like some fucking sex toy on stage, beating him up in private, then letting some guys gang up on him and beat him. I bet the press will love it and so will the ladies." The drummer said his voice filled with anger and bitterness.

The older man's body shook with rage, anxiety, and frustration. He couldn't stop thinking; thinking about how much he wanted to kill Russel, how much he hated himself, and how fucking pathetic all of this really was. How pathetic he was to let people think he really was nothing but a wretched excuse of a human. He hated all of this and he just wanted to curl up in a ball drinking until he slipped away from everything.

"Fuck yew Russ; I didn' let t'is happen. How many fuckin' times do I got to tell yew t'at I actually love him, t'at I haven't hurt him one fuckin' time since he over dosed. I've been looking after him, I fucked up, okay?"

"Bull shit, you're a womanizing prick, and all you used to say was how gross gay guys were. I don't believe for one fucking minute you actually care about that kid. All you fucking do is lie, do whatever makes you money, control every fucking thing around you, and you never give a damn who gets hurt along the way."

A few nurses slowed and watched the confrontation, but quickly moved along when Murdoc glared in their direction.

He could feel the tears burning in his eyes, his face was hot, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to break everything in sight or just kill over.

"This isn' about t'e Fuckin money! I don' even fuckin' care 'bout t'at, I'm so fucking sick of yew giving me shit over t'is. I get he's like a brother to yew, I get I'm a sick fuckin' bastard, but I'm not using him. I love him and I'm fuckin' sorry t'at this happened to him, I shoul' 'ave fuckin' been there…I shoul' have fucking protected him and beat those bloody pricks up for doing this and I didn' fuckin' mean for any of t'is to happen…I jus' I didn't….I didn' mean for it to happen." His voice went from angered to weak and breaking.

Murdoc sank back down into the chair and covered his face with his hands as tears began falling from his eyes. He muttered cuss words beneath his breath, cursing himself for crying. He cried in private and around 2D, nobody else, especially people who wanted to see him as nothing but soulless. Why should they see him as anything besides that, he was so fucking tired of everything. He wondered how things would have been if he'd never hit 2D with his van; he could have stayed perfectly fine, his job, and his college…he could have went on to do something less stressful, meet some beautiful girl, and start a normal family somewhere. Russel could have stayed with his family, kept his friends inside his head, and just lived peacefully without any Satanic bassist giving him hell constantly. Noodle probably would still be in a fish shop in Japan or probably living with some random family. He knew in some way he fucked up all of their lives and he couldn't stop thinking about it right now, he felt light headed, and more insane than usual. He let out a weak growl and leaned his head back against he wall closing his eyes tightly.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and his body tensed in response. He opened his eyes and looked over to see Noodle on the chair next to him.

"It's okay Murdoc-san I don't blame you for what happened, you did not know something like this would happen, and 2D-san is okay for the most part is he not?" The young girl asked smiling softly.

"Yeah mostly he's fine luv, I still should 'ave been t'ere wit' him."

"It is not your fault, I know that you care about him, I can tell by the way you are around him. You seem quite happy when you are with him and I like that, I know you did not mean for this to happen. Everything will be just fine." Noodle said as she smiled up at the older man.

The bassist smiled and nodded, he ran his fingers back through his hair. He didn't even bother looking at Russel, he didn't even give a fuck if the drummer believed him or not. At least Noodle knew he wasn't a completely horrible human being.

"Are you family?"

Murdoc looked up to see a doctor, a man probably in his late forties standing there looking at the three of them.

"No, but we're t'e closest that he's got here." Murdoc replied.

"Right, well you can see him, actually when he wakes up you can take him home if you like. He'll probably be in a bit of pain and a bit out of it so if you want to keep him here over night that might be a better idea just in case." The doctor said before nodding and walking away.

Russel was the first one out of the room; Murdoc got up and followed keeping a good distance between him and the drummer. Noodle walked by his side holding his hand, he looked over at the young girl and smiled at her. He actually was beginning to see some of the good sides to a female presence in the band; she seemed to keep them from all murdering each other most of the time.

When they entered the room Murdoc pushed roughly past the larger man and went over taking a seat in a chair next to the hospital bed. 2D was still asleep, the cuts on his face were cleaned, and his shirt had been removed and thrown away. Murdoc looked over the large bruises on his body and the long trail of stitches on his stomach. Looking at him like this made him feel like hell, he didn't even care if his band mates saw him crying this time. He couldn't help it, if Russel thought he was faking it then he didn't fucking care.

He buried his face in his hands and began crying his body shaking with each strangled breath.

"I'm sorry, I really am…I should've been watchin' yew, I'm sorry Stu. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" Murdoc muttered

He felt fingers in his hair and his body shook for a different reason. He looked up at the singer who was now staring at him smiling sadly.

"Why yew cryin' luv, I'm not hurt t'at bad….Jus' a bit sore an' all, but nofink too serious like t'ey told me." 2D said his voice soft as he tried to soothe the older man.

He ran his thumb over the bassist cheek wiping the tears away from his skin. He felt stupid for crying, no matter how many times he did it he always felt weak for it. That was how he was raised that he wasn't supposed to cry it was just another worthless human emotion, but these were rules that came from a man who spent most of his time stoned and angry. Murdoc really didn't aspire to be like that man.

He took hold of the blue haired man's hand gripping tightly, he lightly ran his fingers over the cuts and bruises on 2D's face careful not to hurt him.

"I'm sorry luv, I didn' mean for yew to get hurt….I should've been watchin' yew"

"It's okay Mu'doc I'm not a little kid, yew don't gotta watch me all t'e time. I'm jus' glad t'at yew found me in t'e first place."

"2D-san did you tell the police what happened?" Noodle asked as she took a seat on the edge of the bed looking concerned at the singer.

2D turned his attention to the young girl and smiled.

"Yeah I did luv, told 'em wot I remember anyways…I kinda did black out fer a bit y'know, but I tol' em t'at some guy knocked me in t'e back t'en another started kicking me…I tol' em 'ow t'ey got t'e knife from me and cut me t'at I fink t'ey were just gonna cut me up real bad, let me bleed out until t'ey heard t'ose sirens…T'ey said t'at they'll look for 'em, but I don't fink they really will." 2D said frowning slightly.

"I hope that they find them, they should pay for what they did to you. I am glad that you are safe now, I am very happy that Murdoc-san found you when he did." She said nodding in the direction of the bassist.

"Me too…So when did t'ey say I can leave 'ere, I don' really like bein in hospitals much."

"Doctor said you can leave tonight, but it'd be best if you stayed over night….I think he's right…I think that you should stay over night and tomorrow we'll pick you up and we can discuss the rest of the tour. Maybe we should cut it short and just head back to Kong, maybe pick it back up next year or something." Russel said as he looked at Murdoc like he was waiting for an argument.

"I agree wit' Russ, sounds like a good idea to me." Murdoc said nodding slowly in agreement.

"I don' wanna stay 'ere alone t'ough, place gets really creepy and quiet." 2D said sounding annoyed, he tried to sit up but ended up falling onto his back again.

"Murdoc will stay with you then, I'm sure that you two could use some alone time after what happened. We'll go back to the hotel and come here in the morning."

The Satanist smiled slightly and nodded in agreement, he watched as his other two band mates left the room closing the door behind them. Murdoc leaned back in the chair and sighed heavily, he felt exhausted like he'd just went through every emotion humanly possible in just a few hours.

"C'mon I wan' yew to lie next to me." The singer said patting the spot next to him.

The older man got up on the bed curling up against the blue haired man's side. He placed a hand on his chest his fingers playing with the charm that rested on his pale bruised up skin. He closed his eyes when he felt fingers combing through his hair.

"Don' worry luv it isn' yer fault, a'right?"

Murdoc nodded slowly, he opened his eyes again and looked at the long cut on the vocalist stomach.

"I'll really look after yew t'is time, I don' wanna lose yew cause I'm self absorbed and in my own world….I jus' care about keeping yew safe and happy, t'at's all I want."

"I know luv, it wasn' yer fault t'at t'is happened…Fings jus' happen, t'ose guys were Fuckin pricks y'know….Now stop finkin' so much an' I really hate seein' yew cry too." 2D whispered gently running his fingers along the older man's cheek then across his jawline.

"I will….I love yew so much Stuart, I really wanna be wit' yew, keep yew happy….Safe, anythin'….I jus' like t'e idea of yew bein' mine….I love yew."

"I love yew too Mu'doc, let's get some sleep, yeah? Yew look more exhausted t'an I am."

"Yeah, good night 'D"

"Good night Muds"