Ben stares down at Rey, unable to look away from her delicate face in sleep. There's something quite erotic about being fully clothed with her naked body in his arms. He can't quite process that she'd allowed him to taste her. It had been beyond anything he could have imagined; the intimacy of the act making him feel closer to her than he ever has. Is it even possible that he could feel more entwined with her?

As it is, he's suspended in a place of total devotion. His heart couldn't hold any more love for her than it does already, could it? Yet … to be able to hold her eyes as he's inside her, know her as he should have before their little daughter … it calls to him, as if the order of the universe demands it.

He thinks it might be time. Rey wants it, he's sure of it. And it's really only his own insecurity that's holding him back. He desperately needs it to be perfect, yet after a lifetime of constant failure, he feels doomed to disappoint her.

But … even if he did, Rey always seems to make his bitter recriminations fade away. Perhaps he needs to just trust her. It is an act of trust, after all.

She sighs in her sleep and his lips pull into a gentle smile. He wants this. He wants to join with her, be one being. It feels as natural as breathing to be close with Rey. Somehow, she's turned his whole world upside down. He honestly never thought he'd ever be with a woman like this. The thought had just been … confusing.

Letting anyone near had seemed the height of folly. He only got hurt when he did. By his early teens he'd learned his lesson. So when women—and a few men—had tried to entice him, there hadn't been even the remotest spark of interest on his part. His walls would slam down and he'd sometimes feel revulsion.

With Rey, though … she passes through his protections like they were made of smoke. The doors she's opened in his heart have left him simply wanting to follow wherever she leads. She swept away a lifetime of struggle, leaving only his little family in her wake. All that matters is them, now.

Gathering her closer, he drops a kiss to her forehead. He can still taste her on his tongue and just the memory of how she'd trembled against his mouth has him responding. She'd wanted to see to him, but he'd needed to bask in the glory of knowing Rey in such a way. Now he's beginning to wish he'd chosen differently, an ache gathering in his core. He shifts uncomfortably, trying not to wake her.

Instead though, he finds himself grinding against her thigh. He knows he really shouldn't disturb her rest, but oh gods, it feels so good. He has to stop, the relief though …

"Mmmmm," Rey purrs and he looks down to find her eyes open and knowing.

Completely caught, he shifts his hips away, but she reaches out and pulls him back, throwing her leg over him. Now the only thing separating him from her heat are his trousers and underthings.

Her eyes pin him; they're already dark with arousal. "Ben … I want you."

He makes a helpless little whine as he continues to unconsciously thrust against her. It's impossible not to wonder what it would feel like to slip into her. But he can't make this decision when he's barely able to think through the haze of lust.

Shaking his head, he flips on his back, breathing harshly. "We shouldn't decide something like that unless we're thinking clearly."

Rey sits up and her hands go to his belt. "I think I've been ready for a while now. Please … please. I need to feel you inside me," she pleads with a husky voice.

Oh, gods … that does something to him, alighting his already primed body with sparks of almost frantic want. He's trying to come up with something reasonable to say when she manages to undo his belt and trousers. His head falls back into the pillow and he moans from the feel of her slim fingers freeing his erection.

He's wanted this from the moment he found out she was pregnant, needed to lay claim to the mother of his child. No, well before then, if he's honest. He's wanted her from the moment he found her in the forest. But he can't, he can't do this if it's not a real, clear decision.

Taking in a shuddering breath, he stills Rey's hand and slips himself back into his open trousers; it's the only way he can even begin to try to be rational. His heart still racing from anticipation, he sits up as well so that he's facing her. She pulls up the sheet to cover herself.

He laces her fingers with his and holds her eyes. Her expression has grown guarded and he sees the beginning of that insecurity that always lives so close to the surface. Stars, he hopes he can find the right words.

"Rey … it's not that I don't want this. I want this, want you, desperately."

"Then why did you stop me?" she asks with a small voice.

"Because I want you so much."

She cocks her head and shakes it slightly. "I don't understand."

"I'm afraid," he says quietly. "Afraid I'll hurt you. Afraid you'll regret it. Afraid you won't like it."

Her expression melts and she huffs lightly. Squeezing his hands, she says, "You won't hurt me and I could never regret it. As to not liking it …" She actually rolls her eyes. "I've loved everything we've done. The way you touch me, the way you make me feel … I know it will be wonderful."

It's his turn to be incredulous. "How can you possibly know that?"

"Because it will be with you," she says simply, her tone sincere. "You are the father of my child."

The burst of joy he always feels when he thinks of Little Star makes him smile. "I suppose we are doing things rather out of order." He feels a shiver of cold as he thinks of what the Force took from them. He could never regret any part of it, because without the Force's meddling, he might never have been able to see what truly mattered. But he is wistful that he wasn't able to court her properly … marry her before they got pregnant.

The thought makes him flinch. He wishes she would agree to marry him, but somehow he knows that is a step too far. How could he expect her to give him her entire life when neither of them know if he can learn to handle his rage?

"What is it?" she ask with a whisper of concern.

Smiling sadly, he says, "I was only thinking of what I wasn't able to give you."

"Oh, Ben … you give me so much."

He pushes away the strange melancholy feeling and scoots closer to her. "I just wish I had been able to go about this in the traditional way."

"I don't even know what that means. You think too much, you know that?"

He barks out a laugh. "Yes, I do." Then his face grows serious. "But don't you wish we'd been able to make her, together?" he asks earnestly.

She stretches out her hand and cups his face. "We did. We might not have known it, but when I reached for you, it meant something to me."

Placing his hand over hers, he responds, "As it did to me."

"That moment, when our fingers touched … I think we joined in a way that's outside of what our bodies can do. Something profound happened."

She's completely unguarded and he can feel her emotions lap at him like the ocean's waves. With a start he realizes she feels the same way he does about that moment. It was sacred, pure, eternal.

"Even though we can't change how it happened, I think we did mean to connect with each other."

He smiles bashfully. "I don't think I've ever been more nervous in my whole life."

"Me neither." She grins wickedly. "See, we already got being horribly nervous out of the way." She lunges forward and he finds himself with a lap full of naked Rey. "Now, please Ben, please make love to me?"

He pulls back slightly so he can hold her gaze. There's nothing but desire and love in her eyes and without really meaning to, he's nodding. Suddenly, all of his doubt just melts away. They're bonded, they have a child on the way. They're already connected so completely that his feelings shift into a sense of it being the most natural thing in the galaxy. Of course he will make love to her. Gods! Rey truly wants him.

Overwhelmed by the swell of love and devotion coursing through him, he holds her face firmly as he kisses her deeply, slipping his tongue between her soft lips. She whimpers into his mouth and he feels her hands working at the buttons of his tunic.

He doesn't want to stop kissing her, but he's now extremely eager to get his clothes off, so he gives her one last passionate kiss then swiftly pulls his tunic over his head. Rey scrambles from his lap and starts to pull at his trousers. Lifting himself slightly, together they manage to pull off the last of his clothing.

Enfolding her in his arms, he drops back into bed. He's on his back and she's draped along his torso. "You're so beautiful," is all he can say. Simply feeling their skin sing together … it's as if the line between them has begun to grow fuzzy. Her delicate lips glisten from his attentions and she's already getting that gorgeous flush. The way her hair is mussed from when he had his face buried between her folds makes his core clench in pleasure.

"I loved tasting you," he growls before leaning forward and again capturing her lips.

"Oh my gods, Ben, it was so good. You were so good," she croons between kisses.

His chest swells with pride at her words. Being able to focus wholly on bringing her to her bliss had been a singular experience. Now, though, now he's determined to make her cry out even louder. He wants her incoherent with pleasure.

Her kisses are making him dizzy with pent-up lust, his cock throbbing almost painfully. He flips her onto her back, making her squeal with delight as he grins down on her. "We already belong to each other, but I need you to know what it means to me that you want to share this with me."

"Oh Ben, I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else."

He nods once, firmly. "Good. Because after tonight, there's no going back."

"I wouldn't want to." Her brows crinkle. "Would you?"

"Gods, no. Never," he vows and he's again on her, kissing her until he needs to taste her skin. Sucking at her neck, he trails his hand down her gorgeous body, thrilled at the fact she wants him to touch her like this.

Women must be prepared, he remembers learning somewhere. He has to open her up for him so that he doesn't hurt her. As he slips a single finger between her silken folds, he groans at how her walls grasp him. She's already slick and her sex is swollen and oh so hot.

Holding her tightly against him, he slowly slips in another finger, stroking along that special patch that always makes her gasp. She shifts from kissing his lips to caressing along his cheek until she's at his ear.

"When you do that with your fingers I always imagine it's your cock inside me." Her warm breath in his ear and her suggestive words make him pulse and twitch, almost as if he's seeking her tight heat. Maker, he's never been so lost in need and desire. Will he ever be able to quench this thirst she inspires?

As he thrusts his fingers into her, he decides to do something he's never done before and he adds a third digit.

"Oh, gods," she groans as he feels her stretch around his hand deliciously. He presses into her as far as he can and he thinks he's going to lose his mind if he doesn't feel her around his aching, desperate erection.

"Please, Ben, please. I need you, I need you so much."

Shifting, he holds her eyes as he slowly keeps a languid pace. "You want this? You want … me?" Part of him still can't believe she could truly want him.

"Yes! I want you more than I even knew I could," she exclaims.

He makes a slight nod and gently removes his hand from her beautiful sex. Carefully, he rolls on top of her and holds her pleading eyes.

Taking in a deep breath, he grasps his cock and slides it along her folds, the sensation shooting up his spine. Just this, just his head not even inside her has him groaning deep in his throat. As he'd dreamed, he makes sure he's lost in her gaze as he begins to enter her.

Gods, gods, gods! He can feel each ridge within her as he sinks into her as slowly as he can. But the urge to thrust into her completely is nearly overpowering. It's as if her body, her eyes, her very heart are drawing him in.

As he goes deeper, her eyes widen and he stills immediately. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Force, yes. Don't stop, don't stop!" she cries out.

Her words give him confidence and he finally thrusts into her completely and blinks down on her. He's … he's inside Rey.

All at once, he's nearly lost to the tide of his love for her. She's wrapped within his soul; linked in the Force. And now … now their bodies are as connected as two people can be. The incomprehensible intimacy comes for him and his eyes prick with tears.

"Oh, Rey … I love you, I love you," he breathes out raggedly as he begins to move.

She shudders out a breath and her high little whimper makes him tremble; the energy, the openness between them fills him to the brim and his eyes grow wet. Hers too have begun to glisten.

"I had no idea, Ben, none at all," she whispers.

He can't speak through the thick knot of feelings in his throat, so he only nods and presses into her again. She feels like home, like their bond has been given physical form. He's not sure he can bear this to ever be over. Every single part of him clicks into place and he can't really understand how right this is.

Then the sheer pleasure of moving inside his love curls in his abdomen and he moans out her name. Her hands grasp at his shoulders and she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, urging him to go faster.

Always eager to give her anything she wants, he speeds up his pace and he almost sees stars from the bright hot ecstasy cascading through his body; his body that was built for merging with Rey.

Her little pants spur him on and he tries to angle himself so his head drags along her favorite spot. She keens and her heels dig into him.

"Please, just like that, oh my gods, Ben, just like that!" She's getting so loud and, Maker, he loves it.

He, he is the one inside her for the first time. He's the one giving her pleasure with his body. This, this is his.

But his orgasm is gathering quickly—he'd been so primed and needy. He tries to slow down but she actually growls when he does.

"Rey, I can't, I can't last," he admits.

"I don't care! I need you, I need to feel you!" she declares, her voice almost otherworldly.

Then he can't think and can't possibly stop himself. His balls tighten and then his climax hits him so hard he bellows out, "I love you!" as his release fills her over and over again.

"Yes!" she cries. "Mine, you're mine!"

Gasping and panting, he slows his thrusts as the last waves of pleasure move through him. "Always, always, my love."

Breathing hard, he collapses on top of her, trying to hold his weight on his knees and elbows. But she pulls him close and says, "I want to feel all of you."

Her arms come around him and she strokes his hair. He can feel her heart beating quickly against his chest and he frowns.

"I'm sorry you didn't-"

She grabs his face and forces his eyes to hers. "Don't you dare apologize! Don't you dare! That … Ben … I …"

He's shocked to see her eyes quickly fill with tears. "What is it?" he asks in alarm.

"I just … I love you so much and having you inside, joining like this … it's everything I ever needed. I feel … I feel complete, Ben. I feel loved."

Smiling down on her beloved face, he strokes her cheek and her hands card through his hair. "I do, too. I always knew it would be special, but …" How can he explain how this is somehow more permanent than even the Force?

"I know. Oh, Ben," she sighs out and then she's kissing him.

In the back of his mind he knows he still wants to see her face as she finds her own release, but for now he just loses himself in her body and her lips. He must hold onto this feeling for as long as he can.

He knows he won't be able to hold onto it forever.

But gods, he's going to try.

A/N: Thank you ArtemisBare; you're so kind to read so much of my smut!

Thank you Readers! Thank you so much for sticking with me through 37 chapters to get to the smut. That is dedication!