Alright for those of you who don't follow me on tumblr, I will also put this message here. I am leaving to go to New York on Thrusday morning, so this will be the last chapter before probably next Tuesday. Alright, so, I guess I'll Ttlk to you guys in about a week! :D

The next two months passed with little note of worthiness. School ended and I still worked. Karkat stayed home, doing whatever he wanted while I stood bored as hell in that book store. Other than the fact that I think I was going insane with my constant nerve-wracking nightmares and the ever present coughs scratching their way from Karkat's throat, things were pretty much the same. Well, that's what I wanted to think. I couldn't say that they got better in the least. He may have not wanted me to notice, but I did. Oh, did I notice.

He thought I didn't notice him trying to cover it up. Quiet the harsh sound with his arm or a pillow smothering his face.

He thought I hadn't heard him puking his guts out in the middle of the night.

He thought I couldn't tell when he ate nothing and drank only water.

He thought I hadn't purposefully left medicine out on the table only to find it gone when I returned to the room.

He thought I hadn't taken sight of the bags under his eyes growing deeper and darker by the day.

He thought he was fooling me.

He thought I wouldn't notice.

He thought wrong.

One day especially, he spent the entire day lounging on the couch. He said it was because he was feeling lazy, but when he got up to use the restroom, he walked slowly. Hunched over and clutching his side. It was painful for me to watch. If I tried to help, he would merely growl at me and push me away with a puny shove and a stricken curse. And so I let him be. I peered over the newspaper that was unfolded in front of my face to spy on him with his face glued into that damn book. The soft brown leather and the frayed pages with things sticking out in every direction. Every now and then he would snicker and make my curiosity peak. Finally, after he couldn't help from laughing quite loudly, I stood with my chair scooting back. Walking over, I towered above him, looking down with a bank expression. He peeled the book back to raise a brow at me, snuggling his back further down into the couch as his head rested on its arm.

"Yes?"

"What are you reading?" I asked bluntly.

The book fell back in front of his face. "Piss off."

My agitation flickered a little and my hand shot, grabbing the back and ripping it from his hands. His arms immediately reached for mine, but I stepped back. He swiftly moved to his feet trying to pry it from my grasp, but I raised my arm and he was clearly too short to reach it. Even on his toes, he was still too little. His fingers grabbed at my arm, the other hand using my shoulder to push himself up further.

"Sollux- give it."

My hand rose more, and I shook my head. "Nope. I'm curious about what you're constantly giggling about."

"It's nothing important." He muttered, forcibly falling back on his heels and lowering his reach slightly.

I began to open the book, still holding it in one hand. He flipped again and began snatching at the air. This drug out a punitive cough which sent him curling in on himself a little and backing down. He sat back on the couch, hand covering his mouth. My arm lowered, and I glanced down with slight regret.

"Sorry Karkat." I whispered as he continued to cough.

He waved a hand, opening one eye to look up at me. "Don't be... Just-" He cleared his throat, wincing slightly before sinking back into the cushion. "I guess… I guess you can look at it if you really want."

I stood for a minute, staring at him and visibly not the book. "What is it?"

He fidgeted a little, seemingly nervous. "Just something your dad gave me. He said I might be able to get a good laugh and learn a few things."

My brow perched. "Learn a few things about what?"

He paused, gaze on the floor. "…You…"

I only became more confused. I shifted and sat down beside him, holding the closed book in my hands. I glanced down at the worn cover. It was obvious there was once writing on the front but it had long since been worn away. I sent a wavering glance to Karkat but he just nodded.

"I wasn't really supposed to let you see it… but I don't think it'll do much harm."

I stared at him for another moment before turning my full attention back to the messy clump of pages in my hands. Steadily, I opened the cover for my eyes to be met with an old picture. I recognized who they were immediately. There my fathers stood in front of our house. One hand from each of them was being occupied by my own. I had to be at least three or four; short and scrawny as ever. Underneath it was a small space of carefully written words.

'Today was the day we finally brought him home. Even if he is quiet, that smile never leaves his face. Words will never be able to describe how happy we were to have a little boy of our own now. '

After that, I flipped a few pages coming to a new entry. 2003. I was twelve and just starting middle school. I cringed a little at the thought.

'Things have seemed to be getting better. We've saved up a little money. Work is steady now-' I skimmed the next part, not especially interested in anyone else financial issues of the time. I didn't want to think about that. Not at all. I stopped when I spotted my name again. '-other than that, things have also betting quite better with the kid too. Sollux at least seems a little happier now. Recently he's been so glum. It's a little unusual, but I didn't think much of it. After those few days when he came home looking bruised, of course I asked what had happened, but being as stubborn as he is did I really expect a straight answer? Anyway, lately he seems to have acquired a new friend of sorts. Sure, I've only met the kid a few times, but he seems decent enough. I'm a little surprised that all they do is sit around and watch movies, barely speaking a word. And even when they do- well god, that kid has the quickest mouth I've ever heard. It's so hard not to laugh. Either way, if it cheers him up, I can't be anything other than glad-'

I stopped there, eyes rising back to Karkat. He just smiled back lightly and gave the smallest shrug.

"Your dad has kept this journal you're entire life. I've actually learned some interesting things about you. And how you grew up. Like when you were young and for some time you wouldn't eat anything unless it had honey on it. Or your odd infatuation with bees and anything with yellow or black stripes- I was a little surprised I didn't notice that one myself. It's just stuff that your dad thought I might want to know…"

I was utterly speechless. I tried to speak. Open mouth and escaping breath, but no words. Then a reflexive grin cracked its way across my face. Holding the book in one hand, I turned slightly and wrapped both my arms tightly around his shoulders. He fell into my chest with a puzzled grunt. It took him a moment, but he soon let out a small breath and hugged me back softly.

"Why?" He whispered over my shoulder.

"I don't really know." I answered.

It was the truth. I had no answer as to why I was hugging him so tightly. Whether it was from the fact that he'd take the time to read something this meaningless so intensely, or it was all the stress bubbling over and forcing me to break down a little, I didn't know. Either way, I just wanted to sit and hug him for a bit. And that's exactly what I did. Thankfully, he didn't try to pull away once. He sat right by me, holding on and smiling into my shoulder. Every now and then he would hum something quietly, rubbing small circles on my back.

And so life continued as it would have it.

Another day of worked rolled by a few weeks later. An exceptionally boring day. Of course it would be my luck that this particular book store stayed open even throughout the summer. And my 'exceptional slacking skills' had earned me the permanent position ever day at the same register. I couldn't really blame myself from never trying at this job. A child could do it, and it was excruciatingly mind numbing to do this every day, waiting on people who obviously had better things to do than stand in the line at the book store. Between that and the fact that I just did not want to be there, I never actually tried to do a good job. And thus, I was forced into the awful shift that worked from nine in the morning to five at night. Why would anyone want to come to a book store at nine? That I will never know. But I still came. I said goodbye to Karkat after he grumbled every morning for waking him up. You'd think if he hated it so much, he'd go sleep in his own bed. But every night he would crawl up next to me, arm slung over my stomach and head nuzzled down into my chest.

Couldn't say I minded it.

Still, I hated this job. It was a waste of my time. I only got me enough money to get by, and now with the constant stress of Karkat being sick, I really didn't want to think about money. And yet it kept popping up. I'd pay for groceries and bills, the rent was going to kill me, by the time all that was done, and I would have practically nothing left to spend. Living comfortably was never a term I could use. Right now, I was living quite uncomfortably. Not only with the money and my job, but also because my nerves were always on end. Anything seemed like it could push them over the edge. Every little cough or wheeze of displeasure would scratch against my ears and make me cringe. Of course I never told Karkat how worried I was. He still wanted me to act like nothing was wrong. But how could I? He obviously was not fine. It was almost infuriating how lightly he was taking this whole situation. Sometimes I couldn't handle how stubborn and obstinate he was acting about things. I tried to explain to him how worried I was, but he just stormed off into our room and slammed the door. Later that night, he re-emerged, saying nothing. He simply hugged me tightly and rubbed my back. He didn't need words sometimes. He could easily let me know things would be alright with a simple gesture or a passing look. But I couldn't help but feel something was desperately wrong. Even if he assured me of it, he didn't seem alright.

What scared me the most is I knew he was hiding it. I knew he didn't want me to know how bad it actually was. But I did know.

One night I woke up to find him coughing exceptionally hard. Somehow, he had managed to learn how to sleep through his fits. He would could, but never wake up. I would though. Every time he whined in pain my eyes would flick open. It was torturous. This night, once he had finally finished his coughing, I glanced down. My eyes only widened a little with the small drip of blood slid down from the corner of his mouth. Rolling over and plucking a tissue from the box beside the bed, I quickly dabbed it away. It bothered me. Even something like this. Something that could easily be so much more; he never shared it. Never once had I heard anything about it. Even after that night, he never spoke of it. I didn't bring it up. I didn't want to stress him out, but he never once led me to believe it was this bad. The coughing had only gotten worse and I could see him wiping his mouth but when I glanced at him, he would just shake his head dismissively and continue on.

I hated that he wouldn't let me carry some of his burden. I'd rather him spend time sick in my arms then deal with it on his own. But every time I thought this I would always smile back on the past. It was just characteristically Karkat. He would never tell me if he was scared or hurt, even if it was blatantly obvious. He tried to be stronger than he was. Oh, he tried so hard. It must have been tiring. Day in and day out he tried to deceive me. I believe he was mostly trying to deceive himself. As if people didn't talk about it, it would just go away. If he didn't acknowledge that his condition was worsening, he would magically get better. Except he didn't. And I knew he wouldn't realize that until he hit the bottom.

And he did.

On this particular day as I stood with my hands in my pockets, leaning up against the counter behind the register. It was a slow day and my phone began to buzz just before I subdued completely to my day dreams. I pulled it out to read the unfamiliar number. I picked it up anyway, having nothing else to do in the meantime. Holding it to my ear, I sighed out a hello.

"Is this a Mr. Sollux Captor?" The feminine voice was quiet but professional.

I quickly straightened up and cleared my throat. "Yes. It is."

She let out a small, slightly shaking sigh. "Mr. Captor. I need you to come to the Rose West Hospital immediately. I have you marked as the emergency contact for-"

"Karkat…" I breathed.

She stopped for a moment before continuing. "Eh, yes sir. Mr. Vantas- he's not doing well. After collapsing in the market on 8th, he was brought here. Now please Mr. Captor. It would be in everyone's best concerns if you would come down here immediately."

My muscles were already shaking, breath uneven and eyes wide.

"Yes Ma'am." I replied quietly. My feet had begun to move, but the next words she dropped made me halt. And my feet stuck. Glued to the floor, my eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched, and my hands clasped into a fist.

"Hurry, he may not make it much longer."