Maverick Geo, 16 - District 1 Male

Salt the Snail

Day Eight

I put one foot in front of the other one

I don't need a new love or a new life

Just a better place to die

"Got it!"

The urban terrain has lead to a decrease in food options and Kai's vampire fish from the other day is long gone. So when I was able to actually snare myself a lone rabbit, I was proud as a peacock decked in out in diamonds. Of course, that rabbit paled in comparison to Kai's gizzard and Ariella fawned over him.

Of course she did.

Sleep is a strange mistress, alluding me until the last possible moment. At any time, Kai could turn on me and Ariella would be too smitten and lovestruck to save me. Suspicion left a long time ago and paranoia is slowly moving into its vacancy. I feel unworthy of their company, an outsider watching their feelings bloom in front of them. Neither of them seem to care that they can be dead tomorrow, neither care that only one or neither of them will come out of this place alive. They are living fast and loose, as though they won't see tomorrow.

If I'm lucky, our fearless leader won't see tomorrow.

No, that isn't very fair of me. Kai hasn't been an out-right dick to me in the slightest. Actually, quite the opposite; he's tried to be a big-brother type and for some reason, that didn't sit right with me. Maybe, once again, it's my pride. Maybe it's his disregard for his supposed girlfriend back home that he is now cheating on with a wonderful, but gullible girl.

"Hey Geo, care to share a piece of your tasty bunny?"

No. It's the condescending attitude from a guy that's never had to fight for anything in his life.

There have been no deaths since the girl from 8 exploded near one of the towers, so I guess everyone is taking it easy. It's leaving me with a rock-sized ball in the pit of my stomach, tight and heavy, leaving me to wonder what is around the corner. In Granite's game, there was no official Career pack. It was kill or be killed, alliances be damned. It wasn't until that boy from 4, the one that was watching Gemini like a hawk during our interviews, won that us Volunteers from 1, 2, and 4 got together. They were the first Career pack.

And the turned on each other the first moment they had.

Should I be the first to turn? Or do I prepare myself for when Kai comes for me? Either way, it is bound to be the fight of my life. Either way, I'll lose Ariella. The only thing keeping me in this alliance any longer is her. I will see to it that she makes it far. She deserves that at the very least.

Ever since my tuck-and-roll out of the hallway window two days ago and Ariella's shower, things have been awkward between us all. Kai noticed the way I was looking at her when she left the steamed up room and how I drank in the sent of citrus and has been showering my district partner with attention whenever he has the chance. He can see how deeply I care for her and he is rubbing it in my face that he has her. He wants to get me going, he wants me to attack first. This way, I am the bad guy in the eyes of Ariella.

But is he really?

Ever since the fog, my perception of reality is shot. When I close my eyes, all I see is my nephew...his lifeless body, my sisters tears. That girl from 6's mutilated face. I've even shadows in corner of those house we were staying in, faceless entities that are following me. Maybe it's guilt getting to me, maybe I'm going crazy. I just can't do this anymore...

"Penny for your thoughts, Mav?" Finally alone, Ariella snuggled up to me as the fire slowly died out. "You look as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

You think? "I'm fine."

"You're a terrible liar."

"I keep seeing her face," I tell her as her head falls gently onto my shoulder, as though it always belonged there. "She was so tiny and frail and I ended her life. Her family will never see her alive again, she will never pick flowers or smell the trees. I don't even know her name and I can't bring myself to ask what it was. Is that selfish of me?"

"You need to deal with your feelings of guilt and pain how you see fit," she answers after a few moments of awkward silence. "I knew who she was and if you want to know, all you have to do is ask."

I sigh, realizing what I have to do.

"Tell me about her."

"Her name was Aran and she was fifteen years old," she begins and it takes a minute for the fact that she was just a year younger than myself set it. "Her sister's name was Kiva and she was just thirteen years old, both girls were all her mother has."

Thus far, this story isn't making me feel any better.

"Her best friend was Evie and together, they took care of her sister while her mother worked hard in the factories. Her favorite color was lilac and she loved the smell of strawberries."

A large part of me believed that she had made this up, just to give me something to hold onto. A larger part than that loves her all the more for it.

She continues on, telling me of how the girl's father passed away when she was young and I can't help but think of my own father. Were my dreams portending to his fate or just my subconscious mocking me for my actions as of late? Either way, my fragile mind cannot take much more of this. If I am to survive this with my sanity in tact, I'm going to have to fight it head on.

And what if I can't do it? What if I am a broken mess?

What if I'm just like Dazzle?

Then I will sacrifice myself to bring Ariella home. It's the only fair thing to do.

She deserves this.

Jake Noir, 12 - District 5 male

Eternal Pages Invisible Ink

Day Eight

It's getting worse now.

My arm, that is, my arm, my leg, everything is starting to hurt at such a terrible pain level I only feel a numbness, all that surging stinging and soreness in my limbs just grows and soon it's so much and been going on for so long, I don't feel it anymore.

Just numbnesS, never ending Numbness of pain, which I suppose is much better then the alternative.

Has that also been my entire life? Better then the alternative?

My mother and father are dead, and I now live with my grandparents at least that's Better then the alternative of being a complete orphan.

I work hours and hours a week for little pay and if could die any day in that factory from an electrical surge, just my luck.

Yet I suppose it's better then the alternative of getting no pay for slave labour.

And I also like guys, in the way a regular guy should like girls, especially Julian, and those soft curls of his that I would always get caught staring at. His slightly muscular form for a thirteen year old that he slightly revealed with sleeveless, thin shirts on summer day when he played baseball with other kids in the wheat field.

God...he was just...hot.

Where was I? Train of thought...oh yeah, better then the alternative of...well...I can't imagine my situation getting any worse possibly besides my sexuality actually being know, I can't imagine what would happen to me then.

It's not like five is really that bad. Like they would lynch some guy just for liking other guys, and the peacekeepers the same, I wouldn't know, but I actually heard of a kid from across the street who said he caught two Peacekeepers ( both male) making out on Reaping Day, probably a rumor, yet not my actual point.

No, five was not like that, it was illegal to do such terrible things to a human being for no reason but just 'not liking their sexuality', we had enough terrible, depressing shit in five and we didn't care to host any ourselves.

There was a simple way to deal with an apparent unwanted behavior in Five, shunning.

Yes, it made us sound like we were Amish, but that's what we had. When a person commits something such as murdering another human being and getting away with it (not a peacekeeper, we already barely talked to them unless we were forced) or a rapist, a pedophile, and of course a homosexual, as the term was apparently called.

You were shunned, completely shut off from any interaction from anyone, even possibly your own family members if it was that bad.

Shunning lasted a long, long time, your whole life, and people even shunned you after a while even if they don't know or remember what to shun you for.

But perhaps the one thing that honestly kept with me was that one summer day I had honestly never thought anything would go right.

"It was summertime, so a couple weeks before the Reaping," I explain to Genie and she nods. "And basically as I've said before Julian was playing Baseball with his 'dude' friends, and basically he was wearing one of those sleeveless black shirts that are really thin..." I pondered to remember the name.

"Tank tops." Said genie as she sits next to me and I nod.

"Tank tops, right. And before that my day was going really terribly, I woke up with really bad, knotted hair, nearly killed myself at the plant..." I drone on.

These discussions, talking about boys and past experiences an admitting just truly who we were in the farm house was all I needed anymore. Unfortunately, besides my fun discussions with Imogene, the Capitol citizens probably aren't getting much entertainment from me since I've accepted death and can already barely move, and maybe if they wanted me to be more entertaining, they would send medicine, or just kill me, or maybe they just like this, hearing me babble on about myself, my life, it's all very entertaining, and watching me writer away is tragic but perfect also, it seems they're allowing me to die on my own terms, how thoughtful.

"...With these rubber gloves, thank god I was wearing them really," I say with a smile as Genie nibbles on a piece of Mutt Jerky, my voice is weak, frail an I feel awful, but my words carry out nonetheless.

"And so I walk out of the plant, and he's playing baseball, and I watch from these stands and after he's done playing, looking sweaty, and gross but kind of attractive, he asks to see me alone, and I think, what did I do to piss Julian off this bad?" I say with a smile and Genie chuckles.

"And so he takes me behind the stands, basically the place is deserted and everything's rusty, we haven't had an actual sports team in millennia, so everything sucked, but he takes me behind the stands and-" I cut myself short as I realize this is televised, people are watching, there are cameras everywhere.

"And so," I whisper into Genie's ear after pausing for a second. "He kisses me behind those stands!" I whisper as quietly yet as excitedly as I can. "He tells me not to tell anyone, so I didn't, but at least I'll have that hanging on, at least I won't die without a first kiss. From an actual boy I like."

"Really? So you are a lover boy from five huh small Fry?" She say with a laugh.

This wasn't really Imogene, se wasn't this bubbly and so enthusiastic about talking about boys like any other teenage girl, she just wants to humor me.

And I thank her for that.

"So, Genie," I say an she turns her head at me for a second.

"Small Fry." She replies.

"What's the one thing you miss most about home." I ask her simply.

"I don't know, I was never fond of home quite exactly, but this place makes it seem better." She says.

"What do you miss?" She asks.

"Well...lots of stuff, the people, my grandparents, but there's one thing I really miss especially." I say.

"What? Julian's mouth on yours?" She asks and I laugh.

"Yeah, that too, but I miss my goggles." I say to her and she looks at me, slightly surprised.

"Your goggles?" She says with a smile.

"Yup, I loved those things, and honestly, when I die, I want you to have them, of course, they'll probably go to my family, so you'll have to talk to them during the whole Victor's Tour." I explain and she shoots me a look.

"You're going to make it, and if you're not like hell I'm making it." She says simply.

"Yes, yes you are, you're so making it, and you're talking to my grandmother, and she's going to give you my goggles, in fact, to all who are watching in five, I want Patricia Noir, Nee Osbourne, to give this scarlet haired girl my goggles when she gets to our district." I announce so the cameras can hear and Imogene laughs.

"I hope you're happy, because you don't know the outcome, maybe someone will fly in some medicine for you and I die from a freak tribute coming out of nowhere and slicing my neck accident." Says Imogene and we both laugh.

Yeah Genie, I hope so.

I hope so, but I don't know so.