Brenda was aware that it probably reflected poorly on her that she was so excited to be taking her mother to the airport in about 45 minutes, but at the moment, she was past caring. Willie Rae's broody silence was unnerving and unnatural, and if there wasn't going to be some sort of reckoning, Brenda was ready to go back to the comfortable quiet of her daily life with Sharon, and the noise and chaos of police work.
Take this morning for example; after placing a few phone calls to be sure her squad had their marching orders for the immediate future, she and Willie Rae had spent a tense hour not talking, occasionally regarding one another across the kitchen table as Willie Rae read the paper and Brenda futzed around with some photos on Sharon's laptop. She'd had Tao demonstrate the process of transferring photos from phone to computer so many times at this point that she could accomplish the task with confidence. With one eye on her mother, Brenda played with filters and cropped and rotated - some of her adjustments turned out well, and she saved them, but mostly she was trying to keep her hands busy.
When Willie Rae excused herself to shower and pack, Brenda sent the four photos she was proudest of to the printer, including one of Sharon and Lucy stretched out on the living room floor watching movies, and the snap she'd taken of the first flower arrangement she sent Sharon. It was nice to have a photo printer in the house; in the past she'd prevailed upon Buzz to print out the few pictures she wanted to have physical copies of, and it was never many, a few a year. But with her new predilection for taking photos, the easily accessible printer at her new abode was impossible to resist.
Almost meditatively, Brenda trimmed the white edges from the photos, half-aware of the sounds of the showering running upstairs. When she was through, she considered the collage of pictures and mementos on the refrigerator; there was still plenty of room, but she would have to move some things around to fit everything on. Digging through the junk drawer for the double-sided tape, Brenda let herself get carried away with her task.
So absorbed was Brenda that she failed to hear her mother reenter the kitchen.
"Well, that looks nice, Brenda Leigh," Willie Rae said, peering over Brenda's shoulder at the refrigerator. "What are those flowers, there." She pointed at the photo of the flower arrangement that Brenda had position at the center of the collage, the rest of the pictures leading out from it in a tight spiral. Brenda started.
"Mama! Make some noise next time, goodness," she protested, hand flying to her chest in startlement.
"That is a lovely arrangement, Brenda Leigh - look at all that honeysuckle. Did Sharon give those to you?"
Brenda rolled her eyes. "No Mama, I gave them to her a couple of months ago."
Willie Rae blinked at her, then leaned in closer to get a better look at the picture. "I recognize the forsythia and the daffodils, but what are the orange ones?"
Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Brenda was unsure if she wanted to answer as she was unsure where this conversation was going. She sighed, giving in. "They're gladioluses, Mama."
"And what is the meaning of the gladiolus?" Willie Rae wanted to know.
Brenda resisted sulkily for a few beats before answering. "It means 'you pierce my heart' and 'sincerity'." Willie Rae was silent for a few long beats, and Brenda was sure she was going to be facing another awkward conversation filled with questions that she didn't want to answer - questions that her mother would really not appreciate the answers to.
"I never knew you were payin' attention when I taught you about flowers, Brenda Leigh."
She turned slightly to favor Willie Rae with a steady look, and shrugged. "I was," she stated simply, not wanting to get into the fact that while in college she had pored over a few books on the subject to find the perfect flowers, and would often spend the little bits of change she accumulated on a single blossom for Neecie. Brenda enjoyed languages, and one that could be a secret between lovers who couldn't express their love openly had been compelling for her, probably for all the wrong reasons. But what had been a tool for teenage romance was now useful as a way to communicate extra meaning to a mature and reserved partner - and more use would come when she was able to openly sign the cards on the arrangements she sent.
Willie Rae caught her up in a hug then, surprising Brenda mightily, but she relaxed into it; her mama was still her mama, after all.
"I love you, Brenda Leigh, and I like your Sharon, so have a little faith in your ol' mama, alright?"
Brenda pulled away a little and looked Willie Rae straight in the eye, and said with some gravity: "Sharon is really important to me, Mama."
"I can see that. You've made a lot of changes in your life, Brenda Leigh, and I just need some time to catch up." Brenda looked as if she was going to protest that statement, and Willie Rae hushed her. "You have, honey. And it's not a bad thing, by any means, but it's a lot to spring on a gal at once."
"I'm sorry you found out about Sharon and me the way you did, Mama. That was never my intention, and I can't help but think that the way you were told is coloring your reaction."
Willie Rae knew that what Brenda said was true, but she didn't want to admit it; she liked to think she didn't let other people's biases affect her own opinions, but when someone she trusted held something in poor regard, it colored her own perceptions. Until a few days ago, she had trusted Fritz Howard, and now Willie Rae wondered how long she should have been regarding him with a bit of suspicion. It was a lesson, she supposed, in her own tendencies, and it shamed her how frequently she misbelieved her own child, and she had an inkling as to why that was, too. Brenda's life wasn't what Willie Rae had pictured for her as a child and as a young woman, but if Brenda continued to insist, quite vehemently, that she was happy, Willie Rae couldn't ignore that; it was time to get over that her expectations hadn't been met, because her daughter was a respected and successful woman.
"I know," Willie Rae admitted a little grudgingly, and Brenda made a sour face in warning. "I just don't like bein' so wrong about people, is all," she quickly reassured, to which Brenda snorted; Willie Rae didn't imagine Brenda liked being wrong about Fritz any more than she did.
"Maybe we should end this conversation on that relatively positive note, Mama," Brenda said after a moment's consideration. "I dunno if you realize this, but it has been a pretty emotionally stressful weekend for me, and I don't wanna get frustrated with you just because my nerves are frayed, ok?"
"Ok, Brenda Leigh," Willie Rae agreed, "but there's one more thing we need to address: your daddy."
"I know, Mama," Brenda whined, but it was only a little whine. "What do you think I should do?"
"Well, you know how he is with Frank, honey. He treats him with respect and like family, but he never acknowledges what Frank is to your brother. I think he used to need that little bit 'a fiction, but at this point he just doesn't know how to apologize or change things, you know?"
"Yea, I do know Daddy," grumbled Brenda under her breath, and Willie Rae gave her an arch look that spoke volumes. "So what should I do?" she asked, ignoring her mother's expression - she figured she was due a little bit of sarcasm.
"Why don't you let me work on him for a couple weeks; you should send all a' those pictures you have of you and Sharon, especially with the kids, and I'll make is so's he can't turn around without seein' the two of you enjoyin' yourselves, and then in a few weeks you can call him and continue the process, and he'll already be used to the idea."
Brenda gaped momentarily, then recovered her wits enough to say: "Mama, you don't need to do that, and isn't talking to daddy something I should be doin' for myself?"
"I want to do it, Brenda Leigh. And like you said, reactions can be dependent on the tellin', so let me work on your Daddy," she stated with finality. "Now let's sit and pick out those pictures before we have to leave for the airport."