The air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. Jason felt it impossible to breathe he couldn't hear this, he wouldn't become demonized as if he weren't in the room. He had to get out and find a way to regain his balance and to breathe again. A sick feeling overcame him as he watched the look on Derek's face morph from shock to disbelief and shock again. Suddenly feeling invisible he had somehow made it to the door. His hand was on the knob turning it and beads of sweat were beginning to form on his skin and he prayed for forgiveness for all of the pain that he represented and he prayed for mercy that the sins of his father would not be held against him.

Fran saw him bolt toward the door she wanted to stop him but her attention was still focused on Derek and again she chose him over Jason…it seemed the natural thing to do and she cursed herself silently for the wretch of a woman that she had willingly become. Dave saw the guilt of her choices raging in her eyes and he quickly followed Jason out the door leaving mother and son alone in the room.

He'd always found solace at the large fountain at the front of the hospital. From his first day there he'd been drawn to it the sound of the water being pushed up into the air then crashing down on itself seemed to give him a sense of peace that was hard to explain. He loved how the water would spray light remnants upon his face if he stood close enough. Now as he stood near the concrete bench that surrounded the fountain he wasn't sure if the wetness on his face was from the fountain or his own tears.

"She's not a monster you know."

"Yeah, you keep saying that."

"You're not a monster either."

"Then why do I feel like I've destroyed so many worlds?"

"You haven't destroyed anything if anything you've been fighting a battle all your life to save your own world."

Jason turned finally to face the older man somehow he'd found it easy to talk to him. They were strangers yet he was the only person who had not judged him. He made him feel worth a conversation just like Derek's father had done. James had been like a father to him and now this man who like James was connected to the woman who'd given birth to him. Why was it that they understood him but she could barely stand the sight of him?

He didn't want to hear any more. He felt the anger welling up inside as she shared the details of her past. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't protect her; he was supposed to be responsible for keeping her safe that's what sons did. But he hadn't been born, yet he felt guilty. Maybe because he knew his words had hurt her spoken in anger and from feelings of betrayal. Still, there was no excuse. How many times would he have to apologize before he felt he'd served his penance? He listened it was as if she was back there on that night alone pinned to the hard wooden floor a victim of being too weak to fight. Now he knew why he and his sisters never spent time with his father's family; they'd sided with Charles his uncle. They'd chosen a rapist over his mother blaming her for causing a rift in their family. His father had been caught in the middle loving her and feeling an obligation to a child that was almost as much his blood as Derek and his sisters.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because a mother is supposed to love her child no matter what. I couldn't love him and I was ashamed of myself for that."

"But you have no reason to be ashamed. You were young and you were the victim…"

"So was Jason. He didn't ask for any of this. I can't imagine how he must have felt when he found out that…"

She still couldn't say the words…still couldn't bring herself to admit that that one night still held power over her.

"That his father is a rapist?"

"Yeah, that."

"Where is he now?"

"Charles?"

"Yeah."

"He was killed in prison three years after it happened."

"Good."

"Baby Boy…"

"No Ma I'm glad he's dead…"

He gently took her hand in his and pulled her closer. She sat down on the bed and for the next several minutes the room was silent. Again the regret for what he'd said earlier began to creep to the surface.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier…"

"Don't worry about it. I should have told you."

"So now what?"

"I don't know. I'm so tired of letting this control my life. I didn't know how much I'd become a prisoner of my past until now. I thought if I worked hard and went on with my life then it wouldn't matter…that Jason wouldn't exist."

"But he does exist, Ma and he's your son too."

"I know and he deserves a mother. I want to let this go. I've given Charles my power! He's been dead for a long time but he still has his nasty, filthy hands on me."

"He doesn't have to…it's up to you…"

"How do I let it go? How do I make up for what I did to Jason?"

"I can't tell you that Ma. I don't know but all I can say is you need to stop running and start standing in your truth and let Jason come to you in his own time and in his own way."

"It won't be easy…"

"No it won't."

"But it's time."

She smiled knowingly. He was right it was time and it wasn't going to be easy but it was necessary.

"Yeah, it's time."

It was silent again then the door opened. Dave walked in alone. Fran stood and met him halfway. He quickly took her in his arms holding her tightly against his chest. Derek saw the love between them. Maybe this would work, and perhaps he could make her happy at any rate he would be watching and he knew the two of them would need to discuss the consequences should he ever hurt his mother.

Dave pulled away slightly without breaking his hold on her. Looking into her eyes he knew she was ready and strong enough to fight for her children…all of them and he would be there with her…for her ready to give her whatever she needed to be whole and happy again.

"I think Jason needs his mother."

She searched his face wondering how he had become so wise. Her knees felt weak as she thought about facing the man she'd abandoned years ago.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

The walk down the hallway toward the exit felt like an eternity. She didn't know what to expect or if he'd still be there. Dave had directed her to the fountain and now as she stepped outside she wasn't so sure she was ready for this. His back was to her and perhaps that was for the best.

"Jason?"

"Yeah?"

"I…I am so sorry…for everything. I don't have the right to ask."

"Fran…"

"Can we start over?"

Jason turned slowly to face her. Her teary eyes gave him pause. He'd planned to yell and scream and tell her how much she had ruined his life. He needed her to know how her rejection made him feel and how he felt cheated and thrown away. But he didn't say any of those things. Perhaps later, but not now…

"I guess so…we can try."

She forced a smile as she examined him. He was so much like Derek after all that he'd been through he still had a kind, gentle spirit and he had done so much to help her younger son get better even though he knew who he was.

"Okay, then." She began. "Hello Jason, my name is Fran Morgan and I'm your mother."