Paper Mario X: The Thousand-Year Door

Chapter 37: Not-so Macho Grubba: OWNAGE!

The gang had learned Grubba escaped to the arena, and realized it was completely empty.

"Wow…never realized how different it looks without a million people trying to paw you…" Sonic trailed.

"It's so quiet too!"

"There's Grubba."

Mario put on a game face and marched his team up to the stage, where Grubba was waiting with an evil smile. The screen was fuzzy, the lights were going haywire, and Koops thought he was going to have an accident.

"I gotta say, y'all are couple of slack-jawed idiots, sniffin' about my business…"

"What happened to being ijits?"

"Worst time for that question Link…"

"Now that you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l ol' dirt nap."

"Huh. Whatever happened to keeping the fights clean?"

"Oh what- no one's going to yell at Sonic?"

"He didn't have a random question."

"Everyone's a--hey! Why isssss the staggggge shhhhhaking!?"

"WAAAAHHH!!!"

Everyone backed away to the edges of the stage as pieces fell around Grubba. Soon, he sank down with it, and a large machine reappeared.

"Did not see that coming…"

"Up there! The Crystal Star is on the top!"

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?"

"It looks tacky."

"Yup I've been suckin' power from fighters with this baby! SLUUUUURP!"

"That's…really insane!"

"yer darn tootin'!"

"I know I am!"

"An' you know why? Cause it keeps my bod forever young son!"

The gang was unsure whether to be impressed, afraid, or just sort of crept out.

"You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like that!" snapped Spike.

"Oh, just shut yer traps now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang please!" Grubba hissed back. He then did a small chant, and started shaking with the overwhelming power. He suddenly grew 5 times his size and turned into a huge, hulking, orange monster!!! AHHHH!

"MAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!!! "

"Yow! Grubba beefed up!"

"I'm at a loss for words…" gulped Link.

"That's a first!" chuckled Goombella.

"There is a huge mutant thing in front of us and you still want to taunt me?"

"Every time's a good time to taunt you!"

Link ignored the following sounds of "Burn!"

Grubba punched his fists together threateningly. "Hoo-WEE! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole and snack on yer energy too!"

Everyone gulped.

"This is tragic…" Sonic moaned. "I don't have a witty comeback!!!"

"I don't have a pun! WE'RE DOOMED!" Link cried.

"And you tell me to get a grip…" Spike muttered while rolling his eyes.

"I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin' li'l piece of prairie piffle!" Grubba growled, his massive voice echoing in the huge empty room.

"See, if you're going to insult us, at least make it so we can understand…" Sonic stated, happy he came up with something.

"Let's rock Big Blue! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!" Spike said, plainly pumped up.

"Stay out of this- this is mine and Mario's fight!" Link stated, sword ready to strike Grubba. "This is for the Crystal Star, and Mario and I are going to get it!"

Sonic tapped on Link's head. "Hello? Remember I promised that I would help you get this Crystal Star no matter what? We'll I'm gonna!"

"But that was back when we thought the Crystal Star was on a belt! Did we really think it was that easy?" Koops put in.

"Even if it wasn't for the Crystal Star I'd still wanna show this grub all I got!" added Spike.

"I've face tougher monsters than this chump! A perfect God of destruction, a huge experiment gone wrong…We've even taken down an invincible mutant koopa together!" Sonic continued. "I'm battling whether you like it or not!"

Link didn't argue anymore.

"60...HP…" Goombella read off nervously. "Attack of four, but no defense-"

"Piece of cake!"

"-can charge attack up to 7, up defense to three, can become dodgy, and double his own number of turns."

"Screwed?"

"Most definitely!"

Mario used spin jump, and Flurrie used Body slam for a total of 9 damage. Mario braced for whatever monster attack Grubba was about to dish, out, but instead Grubba simply struck a pose.

"That's honestly it?" Flurrie questioned.

"Um, he just made the number of turns he uses 2, you know…" Goombella pointed out.

"Let's do some damage Kooper!"

"I am not Kooper! I'm telling you- I even saw the real Kooper!"

"One-I'm so used to Kooper I can't help but call you that, and two-there's no way Kooper could've been in the Rogueport area!!"

"Oh, forget it…"

Link used a perfect action command with Jab, pulling off 8 HP worth of pain. Koops pulled into his shell, and Link gave him an extra kick to get going.

"Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle!" Grubba chuckled. "Keep on scrappin' sons…cause it ain't gonna do you much good in the end…"

He then made two muscles, signaling his attack had gone up. He struck another pose, ran backward, then ran up and clobbered Link with a devastating 6 hit. It wore off, and his double turn was going to last for two more turns.

"Finally my turn!" Sonic groaned. He performed a magnificent whirlwind, then Spike did what he said he would and chewed Grubba up, then spat him out. Grubba shook himself off, brought his arms behind his head, and then made more muscles with a huge toothy grin.

"Now his defense is up to three- hardly anything will work!" Goombella called. Mario pulled out his trusty Piercing Blow and winked.

Grubba then pulled the same attack he used on Link on Sonic, but this time hitting the partner instead of the hero.

"Aaaahhh-yow!"

Flurrie, feeling bad for KO-ing him before, used her turn to throw Spike a Shroom.

"There you go sweetie-I hope it helps!"

"Chomp-I think it helped!" Spike replied when his HP was quickly replenished.

Mario used the Piercing Blow on Grubba, doing maximum damage thanks to its defense piercing power, and did three back flips and summoned confetti.

"STYLISH!" chimed Link and Sonic.

Grubba raised his attack, then crashed down on Flurrie. Everything he powered up wore off, and he had nothing special up his sleeve for Link's turn. Link failed his action command for jab, this time only doing four, and Koops slammed his shell again.

"Not too shabby! You guys got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz!" Grubba noted. "But this here battle's just getting' started! It's time I showed you some REAL moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump-kickin; move they had to make some illegal!"

"That must've been a long time ago!"

"You might wanna hold back on the smack talk…"

Grubba raised his arm and yelled, growing even larger than before.

"How big is he going to get?!"

"He'll raise the roof pretty soon…"

He struck his first pose again, gaining his extra turns back.

"Do all you want! You're still under 20 HP already!" Sonic exclaimed confidently.

"Yeah! Our strong moves must be too much for your old, out of style ones!" called Link.

Sonic attacked with a Spin Dash, then Spike followed up with Ground Pound for a combo of 8. Grubba began his turn with a spell to make himself dodgy, then punched Sonic and Spike in the faces with his massive fist. Flurrie went in to Body Slam, but ended up missing.

"Let's just end this Mario!"

Mario nodded and pulled out the ever awesome Diamond Crystal Star. Link and Sonic jumped onto it, and built up power. Grubba gasped.

"You sons have Crystal Stars of yer own?! I'll take 'em and become even more powerful!!"

"You really need to go to a home…" sighed Link, right before the Crystal Star started causing quakes on the ground.

"Ya-hoo!" yipped Sonic. Grubba only suffered 6 damage, leaving him with a measly two. Once again, he beefed up his attack, then let out a battle cry and back flipped into Mario. The rest of the team cringed.

"Ooh…OW!"

Link glared at Grubba as his attack and evasiveness fell. "Time to finish this…stylishly!"

"Careful this time!" warned Koops. Link nodded and jumped into the air to perform Hack. It destroyed what was left of Grubba's HP, leaving Spike to start a long speech about how awesome they were. Link landed on his once broken foot, spun around, then slowly raised his sword as he stopped.

"STYLISH!" cheered Sonic, Spike, Koops, Goombella, and Flurrie.

Mario: Oh yeah!!

"Thank you, thank you…" Link bowed. "Nice to know my latest battle has been a success!"

"YAAARGH!!"

Mario, Sonic, and Link all leveled up.

"Oh, it's been so long…" sighed Link, taking HP. Mario chose FP, and Sonic also chose FP.

"Nooo…how could this happen? How could such a perfect bod like mine lose to such chubs?" moaned Grubba, now lying limp in his machine.

"Who are you callin' a chub?!" Sonic snorted.

"Oh…Great Gonzales…Blue Blur…great fight there sons…great fight…uurrggh…"

"Hello? What about the Missing Link?"

"I thought you said to let the name go!"

"I know but I, Link, deserve to be mentioned…"

"Mr. Champion! Mr. Superstar!"

Sonic and Mario blinked and turned around to see Jolene calling them.

"…No. I mean, Mario and Sonic."

"Still! No one gives a hoot about poor ol' Link…"

"Please allow me to offer my earnest thanks for defeating that foul Grubba."

"Ms. Jolene!" all the partners gasped.

"no- It's Santa!"

"Oh with the sarcasm Pouch of Pout!"

"I really have to apologize…I'm so sorry I had to get you involved…" Jolene explained. "But you must understand…I had to learn the truth about this arena by any means. Let me tell you everything."

Usually, Sonic would've made a scene about having to wait and listen, but the sad tone in Jolene's voice made him change his mind.

"I had a little brother once, by the name of Mush. He'd have done anything for me. Our family was always poor, so he came here to become a fighter to support all of us…But he suddenly went missing one day. Our family was inconsolable. I suspected foul play, so I got hired on as the manager and investigated in secret. As I looked for clues about my brother, I accidentally saw Mr. Grubba transform. Seeing what I was up against, I almost gave up hope…and then you guys appeared."

"Sniff…poor little Mush!"

"I know it's sad, but I'm not exactly a tissue!"

"…So I decided to secretly guide you."

"So you're our mysterious X!"

"Correct…It was me. Once I saw all of you fight, I knew you were the only ones you could challenge Grubba."

"Now THAT time she included me!"

Jolene climbed up on the stage and ,with a hint of anger, confronted a near-unconscious Grubba.

"Isn't weird how bad guys lie on the ground acting all dead and tired, and we're perfectly fine?"

"Awfully peculiar."

"Now sir…no not 'sir'! Grubba! I want answers right NOW! What did you do with my precious little brother? You know exactly what I'm talking about! The first champion: PRINCE MUSH!"

"Talk about a plot twist!"

"Urggh…Prince Mush…he…he discovered the secret of…my power-suckin' machine…I had him…urgh…disappear."

Jolene looked like she was about to cry.

"Any which way you look at it…oooh…he ain't around these parts no more."

"…No! I…suspected as much…oh, poor sweet Mush…"

"Gee, she seemed kind of aloof, but she really just loved her bother…" Koops realized.

The Crystal Star suddenly spun around in the machine, summoning incredible power and sparkling with energy. Then out of thin air came a young Toad in a blue costume, with a similar hairstyle to Jolene.

"Whoa…Is this…am I back in the Glitz Pit?" he wondered

Jolene burst out in a happy scream. "MUSH!!!"

She ran over to her brother and wrapped him in a hug.

"Oh…is that really you sis? What're you doing here? I…I was just…"

"There, there Mush…it's okay…it's over…finally…" soothed Jolene.

"Who would've thought a Crystal Star could do that!" exclaimed Link.

"Now…the Crystal Star is yours."

The star flew out of the machine and landed in the middle of everyone.

"We can really take it?" Spike asked.

"It's better that you have it…so that nothing like this will ever happen again."

Sonic was the first one to the star. He picked it up and showed it Spike.

"Is this one real?"

"Of course it is!"

"Just making sure…" he chuckled. He turned to Mario and Link. "I promised I'd get you the star…"

He held it out to Mario.

"…and I did. Take it- this is the entire reason you came here in the first place!"

Mario nodded and let the star swirl around him, then held it up above his head.

"We got a Crystal Star!" announced Link. "Mario's Star Power is now 4, and he can use the special move Power Lift! Yay!"

"…that certainly came from nowhere."

"It seemed so epic at this time."

After a long, and mysterious, trip in the Glitz Pit, they finally had their Crystal Star. Finally. But, what still lay ahead for them?

Chapter 3 at last comes to a close- yet we're still far from over! Very, very far. Anyway, tomorrow we have a Peach chapter I had Writer's Block on, and Sunday an entertaining Bowser chapter! :D

And Chapter 4 brings a whole new atmosphere to the team... in real life, I ended up getting STUCK in Chapter 4 thanks to all the backtracking, but ironically I like the way I wrote it. So, it all works out at least!