37
As Adam screamed with raw fear and pain, the ethos of time flooded into the Hub and a chattering, fluttering and rustling that was almost deafening had them covering their ears.
Then …. release.
Feathers and leaves fluttered down from the ceiling, a clump of berries on a nearby workstation sat accompanied by a sprig of fern and wild flowers.
Adam lay panting on the ground as he gripped his head, trying to release what had been gifted, the memories, emotions and pain of living so long…so long…. Adam finally found the strength to scream. Ianto looked down at him dispassionately as the team woke from their fugue, blinking and looking around with confusion as they realised what had happened. The Monster remembered. And he looked down at Adam with a dispassionate curiosity as the man seemed to implode and die, husking, then crumbling to dust.
Jack looked at Ianto with wide eyes.
"What did you do?" he whispered, "Sweetie, what did you do?"
Ianto looked at Jack with his golden orbs swirling in his sockets, then he smiled.
"I remembered."
"Remembered what Tiger?" Jack asked, feeling no fear from this enigma he knew loved him back.
"I am the monster and the monster is me" Ianto's voice was deep, booming and melodic as he looked at the dust at his feet.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Dance with a God and return to mud and crust" Ianto intoned, "I remember who I am. Who I was and shall be once more."
"Wow" Jack said as he watched light come from Ianto, like the ashes still floating about becoming sparks. Ianto seemed to shimmer with a heat, a power.
"I have many names. Aja. Xochipilli. Viridios, Tapio, Ash, Actaeon, Indra, Tane, Abu, Ngen, Faunus, Veles, Loco … so many names through time."
"Mara's Watcher" Jack said with growing confidence, "You are an ancient?"
"Yes. I think so, I believe so. I think … I do not know if I am reborn over and over or simply forget, create a new set of memories and move on. I am … like…something close to the Mara but not" Ianto struggled to find the words he needed, "Why I ghost. I am unseen. I think I am at a place where it is all coming together. Maybe I am not supposed to put it all together until it is my time to move to the other place at will."
"Die?" Jack swallowed thickly as he spoke.
"No Cariad. I cannot"
Jack felt the punch to the gut as he fumbled for a chair, Tosh canting her head, "So … you are another type of human?"
"Yes. I am something called an Ancient. We were considered Gods I think, at one stage we were very big headed and possibly quite up ourselves. I feel. .. I cannot be sure but I feel we were punished for our young arrogance. We are to walk this world many times over to see the ravages of time, man and loss. We can move between worlds, I think this may be why I can see the other verses. I am in all of them."
"So … timelines may not be the same, you might be repeating like a really big Ground Hog Day" Owen snorted, "Shit."
"Sort of… Owen, that was a great idea. Maybe. I mean, we were not told, it was not explained, we were just…boom. Here" Ianto shrugged.
"Who wants to live forever" Andy said ,then frowned "Tell me. Are you a Highlander? I mean, you have a sword and cut the heads off your enemies?"
"What?" Ianto frowned "Are you being naff?"
"No?"
"No. Wait….um….what? No" Ianto spluttered, "Ah, no. But … maybe in one verse we believe this? Shit, it's all so jumbled."
"It does make sense" Andy said sagely, "So many memories and feelings, you can't have them all at the same time or you would go nuts or thing you have multiple personalities or something. You have to be ready, maybe…. Maybe you are reborn over and over again. As you become yourself, you remember more?"
"Well, how do you feel?" Jack asked the main question, the important one, as always.
"Fine" Ianto said simply, and he was.
"You think you are a monster. I caught that, at the moment of giving to Adam you projected yourself like some huge towering monster" Jack said softly, "You are not that to me. You… to me you are beautiful."
"Yes, but a true warrior must have a monster in his heart because only releasing the beast would win the war while keeping the gentle human side protected within. When a good man goes to war, the battle is won but the child is lost" Ianto explained, "I am me. I am many things but all is me."
"And I accept all of you" Jack replied, "For you see all of me and know I am many things as well."
"Time brings layers" Ianto nodded.
"Why you ghost" Owen suddenly blurted, "Why you can sort of disappear. You bloody do!"
"I'm the Invisible Man" Ianto nodded, smiling as he finally saw that it was OK.
Even monsters can be wanted.
And Ianto felt such an immense feeling of need from Jack.
And what he really wanted.
Love.