Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect

A/N - I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long to get out, but I've been run ragged at work and I'm trying to organise a huge Halloween party so I have almost no free time.

A big thank you to the people who are favouriting and following this fic! An even bigger thank you to the people who give me feedback and leave comments - you're all amazing and you always make my week! :) Thank you so much!

Shepard woke up slowly, sleepily turning over in her bed and opening her eyes as she brushed against the warm body beside hers. James. Her eyes focused on his slumbering form and she smiled to herself as she realised that her lover was still fast asleep, most likely worn out from their amorous activities the night before. She was careful not to wake him as she yawned and stretched until her joints popped, then relaxed back against the pillows.

She let her eyes trail over his features, memorising every scary and line on his face and registering with surprise how much younger James looked when he was asleep. He'd been through so much in his life, more than the average Alliance marine would ever see or do. His experiences had made him an excellent solider, a determined combatant and a cunning strategist, but it was his good heart that made him stand out, and if she was honest with herself, it was one of the things she loved about him.

And she did love him.

The last thing she wanted to do when there was a war on was fall in love, but after last night there was little she could do to deny it anymore; she was in love with James Vega. She had wanted to tell him last night as he'd made love to her in the shower, but she'd held the words back even though she was sure he'd felt the same.

Because what if he didn't love her?

Shepard sighed, irritated by her own insecurity, and reached out a hand to trace the tattoos on James' chest, arm and neck, her fingers gently stroking the beautiful patterns. Normally he was awake before she was, so being able to watch him sleep was a treat. He really was the most gorgeously passionate lover she'd ever had and he made her feel like she was the most desirable woman in the world.

Given how badly she'd treated James when he'd been her guard, she had never expected to wind up falling in love with him. The tender way he'd held her as they'd made love and the look in his eyes had almost brought her to tears last night; she'd had no idea of what a wonderfully sexy guy was lurking beneath his tough guy exterior, but she was glad she'd found out.

Taking a chance on Vega had been the best thing she'd ever done. It wasn't just the sex, although James was fantastic in that department, it was how he made her feel and all the little things he did to support her. He made all the bad things in her life seem a little less screwed up, and all the anger and the hate that lived inside of her seemed to recede when he smiled at her; he made her happy.

It was nice to smile again, but it was also frightening. Whenever things seemed to go wonderful in her life, disaster inevitably followed close on her heels. Maybe it was her imagination, but she had a feeling that something bad was coming. It was like a tickle at the back of her head; a sense of someone sneaking up behind her or of waiting for an axe to fall, and in the past that feeling had always been spot on.

It was hard to keep smiling and keep everyone's spirits up when she felt so worried about what was going to happen next. Every day that Cerberus kept their distance and stayed quiet made her worry a little bit more about what they would try next. Cerberus had dedicated a lot of their funds and time to bringing her back, and they'd been just as dedicated with trying to catch her again.

The very idea of being put into their Phantom Initiative made her skin crawl; she didn't want to be an indoctrinated slave for the Illusive Man, forced to carry out his orders and fight her friends. Her greatest fear was that Cerberus would kill her friends and squad mates to get their hands on her. Each time she went on a mission, Rennah found herself looking over her shoulder in case they appeared.

It didn't feel like a case of if it was more of a case of when.

James stirred under her touch and his chocolate coloured eyes opened slowly, a smile curving his lips as he saw her, "Morning, Lola."

He wrapped a muscular arm around her waist, pulling her to him and nuzzling her neck as he held her. Rennah felt her fears about Cerberus fade as he dropped a kiss on her head and ran his fingers lightly through her hair, the look on his face so happy and relaxed that she couldn't help but smile back.

"Morning." She snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his chest, listening to the strong and steady beat of his heart, "Did you sleep okay?"

"Like a log." His arm tightened around her waist and he glanced at her playfully, "I think you wore me out."

Rennah laughed and stretched out to her full length again, relaxing against the pillows as she teased him, "So, James Vega does have his limits!"

"Well, I'm only human." He flashed her a sizzling smile and Rennah moved towards him, irresistibly drawn towards the warm look in his eyes.

Their lips met in a soft kiss that made Shepard's heart beast faster and sent an intense rush of emotion sweeping through her. Last night had been one of the most beautiful nights she'd ever experienced, and even touching James was enough to bring the memories rushing back. She'd never been shy about sex, but some of the things they'd done last night were almost enough to make her blush.

She laced her fingers through his and they lay together in silence for a few minutes, watching the stars through the canopy above her bed. Had last night been as special for James as it had for her? He'd seemed very intense and she wanted to believe he felt just like she did, but he'd never said anything about being in love with her.

Finally she turned to him, hesitating for a beat before she asked her nagging question, "James, have you ever been in love?"

His hand tightened around hers and his voice was oddly quiet as he answered, "Once or twice. You?"

"Once or twice."

James glanced at her and abruptly he flashed her a wolfish smile, his warm brown eyes locking onto hers purposefully, "Okay, so who was the first person to steal Commander Shepard's heart?"

"What?" Rennah flushed red and began to wriggle away from him, abruptly wishing she hadn't broached the topic, "I don't want to tell you! It's embarrassing!"

"Come on, Lola," His smile widened and he kept his grip on her hand, wrapping another anchoring arm around her to halt her retreat, "you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine!"

Shepard made an uncomfortable sound and buried her head in the pillow, half to hide how red she'd gone and half to muffle the name she was about to say, "Anderson."

"What?!" James let go of her hand, and when Rennah peeked up he was staring at her incredulously, "Seriously? Anderson? Like, Admiral Anderson?"

"Yes, that Anderson." She shoved him away from her, self-consciously glaring at James as his grin widened, "He saved me! I was young and I thought I was in love. David put me straight pretty quickly and I worked out it was just a really embarrassing crush." Rennah narrowed her eyes as James began to chuckle, apparently finding the thought of her crushing on Admiral Anderson very amusing, "Shut up and stop laughing! Who was the first person you fell in love with?"

James dodged her playful swipe at him, and he caught her hand again, "Easy Commander." He dropped a kiss on her palm and pulled her back into his arms, "Back when I first joined the Alliance I had thing for this insane biotic marine. She was amazing; beautiful, strong and charismatic. I, uh, fell for her hard but I didn't know it at the time. I only worked out later that I was in love with her."

Shepard ignored the odd flutter that passed through her at the thought of her James falling in love with another woman, "Wow." She tried to sound normal and she pushed the uncomfortable feeling away, "So what happened?"

"Well, it took a while for me to even get a chance to make a move on her. We didn't actually work together, and I got sent to Fehl Prime so there wasn't even a chance of anything happening back then." James stroked a hand through her hair absently, "When I did see her after Fehl, she'd been burnt badly by another guy and I took things slow so she'd know I really cared for her."

James has been in love with someone so recently?

"That's sweet." Rennah made herself smile despite the bitter ball of jealousy that had settled in her stomach, "Was she just as in love with you?"

"I don't know..."

"What? You poured your heart out for this woman she didn't even return your feelings?" She felt outraged on his behalf, imaging the kind of cruel, selfish woman he'd obviously got caught up with.

His chuckled at the annoyance in her voice and kissed her palm again, "I think she felt the same way, but...I don't know for sure. I didn't want to push her and scare her away."

"She sounds like she wasn't worth it."

James shook his head, "Oh, she was worth it; she's perfect."

Jealousy flashed through her again and this time she failed to keep it out of her voice, "So why aren't you still with Miss Perfect?"

"Rennah!" James blinked in surprise at her tone, and he cupped her face with his hands as he murmured her name, his eyes searching hers, "You don't get it do you? The woman I'm talking about, the woman I love, is..."

"Commander?" Joker's voice came over the intercom, sounding far too awake given that the sleep cycle wasn't over for another hour.

Shepard put a finger against James' lips as he tried to keep talking and he stifled a groan and flopped back against the pillows looking frustrated. She ignored his pained look and instead cleared her throat and answered, "What's up, Joker?"

"Sorry to interrupt, but the quarian Admirals need to speak to you urgently. Admiral Raan, Xen and Tali are in the war room waiting for you." There was a pause and then Joker laughed, "I suppose I should start calling Tali 'Admiral Zorah', shouldn't I?"

Rennah ignored his quip and swallowed her displeasure at being called back to work already, "Tell them I'll be there soon."

James sighed in disappointment once Joker signed off, "Duty calls, huh Lola?"

"So it seems." She took his hand, squeezing it tightly as she took a deep breath and looked into his eyes again, "So what happened with this other woman?"

James shook his head wryly and looked up at her, his eyes intense, "Nah, the moment's gone. I'll tell you some other time." He glanced down at their entwined hands and smiled slightly, "You know that you're the only girl I want, don't you?"

"Of course." Shepard smiled and some of the jealousy faded at the honesty in his tone. She kissed him one more time, a gentle press of the lips that quickly escalated into something more intense and it was with great reluctance that she pulled it away. "I have to get ready."

"You go shower, I'll clean up downstairs while you're chatting with the quarians." James stood up, his dog tags jingling on his chest as the sheet slipped off him and his fabulous muscled body was exposed in all its glory.

Shepard felt her mouth run dry and she quickly looked away before temptation could get the better of her, busying herself with finding a BDU to wear and then slipping off to the bathroom. She showered quickly and by the time she was done, James was dressed and she found him annoying the geth head experiment she'd appropriate from Bryson's lab.

He straightened up and flashed her a heart stopping smile when he saw her, "Shall we, Commander?"

"We shall, Lieutenant." She linked her arm in his and they walked over to the elevator together, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together for as long as they could.

For the second time since joining the Normandy crew, James found himself left behind while Shepard went on a mission, only this time there was a good reason for it. She'd pulled him aside and explained her choice of ground team, and once he'd heard her out, he had to admit that her decision to leave him behind did make sense. Rennah needed people who could hack the geth systems and people who knew their way around terminals and technology, and that was certainly not him.

He could barely use an omni-tool, let alone hack a terminal.

Although he had weapons which he needed to finish upgrading down in the shuttle bay, he'd taken a brief detour to visit Garrus in the medbay and catch up on the latest gossip. The grouchy turian was being released soon, but for now he was still a prisoner of Chakwas', so James was making a point of stopping by and chatting to him as often as he could. From his own experiences he knew how boring it was being stuck in hospital while your friends were still going about their normal life.

"So Shepard's going to try and Rescue Admiral Koris and shut down the geth server controlling these fighter squadrons?" Garrus was sitting up in his bed and he narrowed his eyes as James nodded, "And you're okay with her taking Alenko along instead of you?"

James snorted and shook his head, "Hell no, I hate that I'm not going with her, but she wanted to take the tech-heads, so Alenko, Tali and Legion are with her. I don't like it, but I get it."

Truthfully, he wasn't all that thrilled about being left behind when the woman he loved was going into geth territory, but it wasn't his call to make.

Garrus shook his head as though he thought James was mad, "So I take it that things between you and Shepard are still going strong?"

"Yeah, things have been really good." James felt a grin stretch across his face as he remembered how close he'd come to telling Shepard that she was the woman he'd fallen for all those years ago.

He'd literally come within a heartbeat of admitting his feelings to her, and if Joker hadn't interrupted then with his usual impeccable timing, he would have. Shepard had actually been jealous when he'd started talking about this other woman and he hadn't been able to stand seeing her squirm uncomfortably at the thought of him being in love with someone else.

The turian made a huffing sound and leaned forward, "Come on, Vega, I need details here!"

"Well, she started telling me a little about her past, which seems to be a pretty big deal for her." James shrugged, "Oh, and the Major seems to have backed off after we had that fight..."

"What fight?" Garrus frowned and flared his mandibles in irritation, "Why doesn't anyone tell me anything!"

"It was nothing, he was just mouthing off about us and threatening to report us."

The fight hadn't been nothing, but James didn't want to cause waves when Alenko had been reasonably civilised to him lately. It was clear that the Major didn't like him, but as long as he didn't try to come between him and Shepard, or make any more poorly veiled threats, then he would play nice too. Besides, Garrus already hated the guy for hurting Shepard, he didn't need to give him another reason to dislike him.

Vakarian nodded as though unsurprised, "Alenko always seemed like a nice guy, but after Horizon I knew he was a jerk."

"So long as he leaves Shepard alone, I don't care how much of a pendejo he is." Shrugging, James opened a protein bar and munched on mouthful as he watched his friend, "So, what about you? Shepard mentioned something about you and Tali..."

"Well, I, uh..." Garrus looked uncomfortable and his eyes darted around the room as though looking for an escape route, "Tali is…"

"She's pretty hot." He decided to cut his buddy a break and James grinned at him. "I mean, that waist and those hips..."

Although quarians weren't really his thing, he could see why she would have caught Garrus' attention. Tali was spunky and bright, and her vivacious personality matched what appeared to be a terrific body. James wasn't averse to admiring a woman who looked good in what she wore, and Tali wore her enviro-suit damned well.

Garrus settled himself on his pillows more comfortably and managed to look dignified as he nodded, "Okay, I'll admit that she does have a very firm waist."

"She's hot and you know it, Scars!" James tried not to grin as the turian shrugged and then nodded without saying a word, "So are you two…?"

"No, I mean, not yet. Maybe. I don't know." If turians could blush, James was certain that Garrus would have been bright red as he awkwardly struggled to articulate his thoughts, "Turian's don't usually go for inter-species relationships, so I'm not really sure how to make a move on her."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly the average turian."

Garrus did his version of a smile and laughed softly, "True, and Tali isn't the average quarian."

"You should make a move on her." James liked the idea of Garrus and Tali together. He hadn't known Tali long, but he trusted his instincts when it came to people, and his instincts told him that she and Garrus were peas in a pod. "You could get some dextro wine and take her out to dinner, that sort of thing."

"Yeah, yeah I can do that."

He stood up and nudged Garrus, "Plus, chicks dig scars. Anyway, I'm going to head down to the armoury and get some work done. Catch you later…Scars."

"Wait, you're not going to say anything to her are you?"

Vakarian looked grey at the thought and James had to bite back a laugh as he innocently shrugged, "What makes you say that? It's not like you and your big mouth went around gossiping about Shepard and I…oh, wait…"

James chuckled evilly as he walked away, and Chakwas returned his grin as Garrus spluttered desperate threats behind him. He let the doctor deal with her patient as he left the medbay and headed downstairs in the elevator, determined to get some work done and maybe get a quick workout in. Exercising would help him get his thoughts together so he could figure how to tell Shepard that she was the woman he loved.

The elevator doors opened and James walked out, his mind still so full of Rennah that he almost walked into Steve who was walking in front of the elevator.

"Whoa there, Mr Vega!" Cortez laughed as James avoided him just in time, "You look like a man with a mission."

"Who me?" He grinned at his friend, "Nah, I'm just thinking about…"

"Shepard?" Steve guessed, still smiling broadly.

"Yeah, you know me!" James crossed his arms over his chest and considered his friend for a moment; Steve liked to tease him every now and again, but he was a good person and was someone who he respected. "Esteban, how did you tell your husband that you loved him?"

Cortez's eyebrows shot up and he looked at James as though impressed, "You thinking of dropping the L-bomb on Shepard are you?"

He shrugged uncomfortably, "I love her, but I'm not sure when I should tell her or how. I've never done this before…"

"There isn't a right or wrong time, Vega. You just need to go with your instincts and tell her how you feel." Steve looked at him fondly, "I told Robert I loved him as soon as I fell for him, but I'm not you and Robert's not Shepard."

Sighing, James nodded, "I know. I've almost told her a three or four times, but I don't want to rush her or scare her off. Things have been amazing between us lately and I'm sure she feels the same way but…what if I screw things up?"

"I'm not sure you can scare the Commander away that easily." Cortez leaned against the workbench, "Just tell her how you feel."

"What? Just say, 'I love you and I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you…'"

There was the sound of a sharply indrawn breath behind them and James wheeled around to see one of the Alliance privates who worked maintenance down in the shuttle bay staring at them both with wide eyes. The young man, who was carrying a crate of weapons and had clearly been hidden behind a stack of boxes, was looking from James to Cortez with a disbelieving and embarrassed look on his face.

"Uh, sorry guys. I'll just…" He flushed red and put the crate down quickly, "I'll just leave you two to it. Sorry to have interrupted."

The young man fled into the elevator before James could say anything or ask what the hell he was talking about. He turned back to Cortez in confusion, "What the hell? Did I just miss something?"

Cortez burst out laughing, "He thought you were talking to me!"

"But I was talking to you…." James went red as he realised what Cortez meant, "You? He thought I was telling you that I loved you?"

James felt himself go red as he imaged the gossip this would spread around the ship, and he buried his face in his hands with a groan. Cortez was laughing so hard next to him he had tears coming out of his eyes and his shoulders were shaking with laughter.

"My dream come true!" Steve gasped in between bouts of laughter, "James Vega confessing his love to me!"

"Shut up, Esteban!" He shook his head and glared at his friend, who had been reduced to a chuckling mess, "I knew I should have kept my mouth shut!"

James wheeled around and marched over to his weapon's bench, doing his best to ignore Cortez as he periodically burst into laughter as he worked at the weapons bench. The last thing he needed was for Shepard to hear rumour around the ship that he'd been professing his love to anyone, especially after their chat this morning. Of course, knowing Rennah and her warped sense of humour she'd probably find this situation hilarious too.

"I love you." He decided to practice saying those three little words as he upgraded his weapon mods and waited for Shepard to return, "I love you!"

"Your first attempt when speaking to Lieutenant Cortez was your best attempt." James nearly jumped out of his skin as EDI interrupted him over the intercom at his desk, "Currently, your voice is strained and your attempts to profess your love sounds forced and insincere."

"Gee, thanks EDI." James glared at the intercom box as though she could see him, "You're a real cheer squad."

"If you wish to admit your love to Commander Shepard, I suggest you tell her when you're next alone together. She is most receptive to emotional admissions when she is calm and relaxed," EDI paused and James wondered if she was deliberately stringing her advice out, "She is frequently relaxed around you when you are intimate in her cabin."

James frowned; was EDI spying on them when they were in Shepard's cabin? Could she see them? Hear them? It was unsettling and a little bit creepy to imagine that the whole time they'd thought they were alone together there had been an unseen third party watching over them.

"Uh, you don't watch us do you?" He rolled his shoulders and tried to dispel the creepy tingle that had marched across his skin at the thought of EDI's surveillance.

"No." EDI answered simply and quickly and James breathed a sigh of relief, but the AI continued a moment later, "However, I do monitor all conversations in Shepard's cabin, and the Normandy is outfitted with state of the art monitoring technology so I can track her biometric rhythms anywhere on the Normandy."

"Wait…you listen to us?"

"No, I monitor all conversations." Despite being an AI, EDI sounded amused, "Although I have recorded some of the more amusing romantic interludes between yourself and Commander Shepard…"

"What?!" James voice cracked as he stepped back from the bench in shock, staring at the intercom as though it was about to attack him.

"That was a joke."

"Not funny, EDI." He shook his head, absently wondering if Joker had anything to do with EDI's wickedly cruel sense of humour. His chin jerked up as a thought occurred to him and he stepped closer to the desk again, "Hey, if you hear everything, you must have heard what she said to me in Russian last night? So what did she say?"

James suspected her already knew when EDI was going to say, so it came as no surprise when she shot him down, "I believe Shepard will share the translation of that phrase with you when she is ready."

He snorted in amusement, "Yeah, okay EDI. Thanks for the advice."

"You are welcome Lieutenant." The AI sounded oblivious to his sarcasm as she continued, "On a more personal note, you should tell Shepard how you feel. You are good for her and I'm certain that your love would not scare her away."

"Gracias, EDI." James smiled at EDI's attempt at relationship advice and went back to upgrading the weapons.

Steve and EDI were right though; he needed to tell Rennah how he felt and when she came back he would tell her. Maybe she was in love with him too, and maybe she wasn't, but it wasn't going to the way he felt. Keeping his feelings bottled up and watching everything he said around her was killing him; the time had come to be honest with her and just tell her straight up that he was in love with her.

A/N - Maybe I should have warned you that this was a deliciously fluffy chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed it. I just love Jimmy and Lola when they're being all loving! There is a storm on the horizon, but for now things are still calm! Feedback is always loved! :) Thanks for reading!