ISSUE # 36:
A PRETTY HOT SUPER PUYAJIN.
The G King, that prodigy of robotic architecture, managed to (hardly, though) give that Cooler guy a beating he couldn't stand. Meanwhile, in a far away planet, the rest of our friends discover a strange civilization which was completely wiped out, so they set up to investigate what happened...
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N-VIII: We must warn the others! (runs) This looks like that Texas' slaughtering shed!
VEGETAL: I don't know why she is so scared... you Miss Whiner!
(Team Discolo is still trying to extract info from Broly, not getting anywhere.)
DISCOLO: We need to locate the rest of the peasants. Surely the other team must have located them...
CHIQUILIN: Ep, sorry, you dropped this. It's yours, right? Fell from your pants. Is it a kind of headdress?
(Chiquilin hands Broly a mask that looks like the titular item from the Jim Carrey film.)
BROLY: (0_0)
DISCOLO: Wait a moment... this matter is giving me really bad vibes...
CHIQUILIN: Are you tuning Cadena Cope in with your antennae or what?
DISCOLO: This boy is the only living being I have detected within a several kilometres radius... and this village has a scant eight hundred square meters! Doesn't that bug you?
CHIQUILIN: Yeah, true... wanna know what I think about this?
BROLY: (0_0) (busted)
CHIQUILIN: All the townsfolk left on vacation, and this guy overslept and was forgotten! (they facefault)
(Team VIII's members are running towards their mates, foreboding a grave disaster.)
N-VIII: Where do those two can be now? We should have handed out some kind of communicators!
VEGETAL: Heh, I just have here at least five cell phones from last year's Christmas!
N-VIII: A moment...! (senses) I'm beginning to receive that monster's wave signature... he's coming here!
(While Discolo detects the very same thing, a big, ominous shadow looms over them...)
DISCOLO: I am sensing a very evil presence, and it's pretty close! Must be the guy we are looking for!
CHIQUILIN: Er, look... (pats his shoulder) (BROLY: RAAAAAGH! (ki explosion).)
XVIII: Discolo! Chiquilin! (N-VIII: It has started... he is HERE!) (VEGETAL: (^_^).)
(Nailed inside a wall, the green warrior still has strength to try and make sense of this.)
DISCOLO: Are you seeing what I'm seeing?! (CHIQUILIN: With two black eyes? Can't promise anything...)
SPJ-BROLY: Ggggrrr!
DISCOLO: He is a Super Puyajin! He must be! But his looks are rather weird, though... His signature energy is similar to the Puyajin race, but where the heck did he come from?
N-VIII: (arrives) It's him, I knew it! (BROLY: Grur?)
XVIII: Then HE is the monster we came to annihilate? What a waste of a hot guy...
N-VIII: He's not what he seems! He acts purely by instinct, like a wild animal!
DISCOLO: Be very careful with him! He's some kind of Super Puyajin, and still not in his max level!
BROLY: AAAARGH! (powers up)
CHIQUILIN: He's charging up, the gravity is faltering! (VEGETAL: Bah, faggots...)
N-VIII: Quick, now's the time to strike. His power will increase beyond beatable if we don't stop him!
VEGETAL: Heh, must have told earlier! (puts on armor) This Flash-suits from Gragea Corp are da bomb!
(He has put his Puyajin armor in a flash of light, as automated as the PoiPoi capsules.)
VEGETAL: You will see now, hunk of drunken hormones! (rushes)
CHIQUILIN: Okay, I will activate my flash-suit as well and... (XVIII: And me too!)
(They both done battle-oriented suits, although Chiquilin is weirded out by his wife's.)
XVIII: So what? I was fed up of thrashing my other dresses! (CHIQUILIN: (0_0).)
VEGETAL: Take this, FINAL FLASH! (does scratch damage) The Final Flash hasn't affected him! He has sweated it out like a beach breeze! Ag, what a corny metaphor...
(Broly retaliates with his own ki wave, which leaves the Puyajin prince charred up good.)
CHIQUILIN: Geez... I could almost spread butter on him... (VEGETAL: (burnt) Thanks for comparing me with a toast... makes me feel slightly more alive...*coughs*.)
N-VIII: Cover me, I am gonna launch a plasma ball towards him!
XVIII: Let's join forces! I know it sounds clichéd, but it's necessary! (CHIQUILIN: Ok!)
N-VIII: Here goes my PLASMA-BALL! (fires)
(Again, the ki attack seems to do little to no damage to the spiky haired blonde beast.)
CHIQUILIN: NO! Can't anything put a dent in his defenses? He seems Brazil's football team!
N-VIII: What is he gonna do now...? This is not cool at all... I have a horrible hunch...
BROLY: (charges) RAAAAAH!
CHIQUILIN: (covers ears) Arg, what a scream! He is not the type to suffer in silence...
XVIII: I will make him shut up! (BOTH: Get him! Go for a headshot!)
(He stops them in their rush off-screen, and splats them on the street's floor head first.)
VEGETAL: (still burnt) It's not that easy, huh? (CHIQUILIN: Alright, it really was a head shot...)
BROLY: Any other suicidal fool wants to mess up with Broccoly?
DISCOLO: He talked! So he's conscious of his acts! I thought his transformation nulled his free will... maybe it's something far more complex... a case of multiple personalities. This one's seems to be his 'other-me'...
N-VIII: Hey, XVIII, you okay? (XVIII: I think so.) We are gonna take advantage of our common systems. We will launch a combo attack. Ready? (pause) Start the combo hit!
(She fires a ki shot at Broccoly's underbelly, while XVIII shots hers to his face.)
XVIII: Ha, we did it! We finally hurt the big boy! (N-VIII: Don't get so confident...)
BROCCOLY: Well, well, the sweet babes can hit hard. I wonder what other things they can do.
XVIII: (0_0) You heard that? (N-VIII: Of course... maybe you could let him grope you while I look for his weak points. Or you could electrocute him while you make out...) Whaaaat?!
DISCOLO: (rushes) Ha, I am fully recovered! I will get him! (PAF!) (bounced back)
XVIII: Well, you know... your idea is looking nicer the more I think about it...
NARRATION: Back to Earth, which we left forgotten behind, the poor thing.
ROSBIFF: (Gendo Ikari pose) We're going to approach Gosh... I will go spend some days in his palace. We must talk about the future... this time, Gragea Corp will have a responsibility: to stop the Apocalypse...
WILMA: Yeah, of course... (¬_¬) Daddy is seriously weirding me out... he is like this since Pompom spoke to him a week ago... well, as long as he doesn't plan on making a clone of mom...
(Pause to take breath, while she continues pondering.)
WILMA: I only know there is something important behind the scenes... but he does not want to tell me anything... and meanwhile, in the city, that triviality of the martial arts tourney is being prepared...
ROSBIFF: If things come to worst, I will have to bring here the Third Child...should I call the Kame staff to bring me the Third Cat? Bah, we look so stupid, staring at each other without crossing a single word...
(On TV, a news host gives the news about the oncoming Tenkaichi Budokai or else.)
HOST: There is not much left for the new Tenkaichi Budokai, which will be hosted on our city! The streets are crowded with expectation! The great champion Patan looks over the last preparations to be done in the city's stadium!
(In the stadium proper, Patan and his right-hand man supervise the last-minute details.)
MAN: The first sign-ups were done a month ago. Since then we have listed many more participants... won't they be too many to fit them all in the final roster?
PATAN: That won't be an issue. Half of them will rule out the other in the first rounds. Everything's planned!
MAN: With the income from the shirts, action figures and condoms' sales we were able to finish installing the broadcasting system. No need to sacrifice show quality by leaving out participants. The audience wouldn't forgive us...
(Zoom out to see the area of the fighting arena, surrounded by hundreds of seats.)
MAN: The arena's been concluded, its sensors' equipment are in the middle of testing. All is going OK...
PATAN: We have only a week more to make final adjustments. I don't want to mess up in front of the world!
MAN: Of course, sir... but then again, why are you participating?
PATAN: Ah, it's something personal, you wouldn't understand...
(In the high school's training facilities, Bidet ends thrashing a pretty big sand bag.)
CHUNGOHAN: Gee, Bidet! Didn't know you had improved so much! Your power does not look human...
BIDET: I don't understand it either, but I am dying to fight. It's like this tourney stuff awakened something...
BLONDE BOY: Heya guys, the exam listings are being shown on the billboard. Aren't you gonna check?
BIDET: And why? I can do those exams whenever I want as long as my dad keeps givin his subsidies to the school. Now the most important matter is the oncoming tournament!
CHUNGOHAN: Wow, what a woman.
BIDET: From now on, we will stay on my home's private gym to train. This last week is decisive!
CHUNGOHAN: Er, my uncle has an awesome gym at Gragea Corp, and he isn't home!
BIDET: Okay. We will check that gym. If it has good and modern props, it can be as useful...
(In Gragea Corp proper, Wilma is finishing Gragea King's repairs while her dad's away.)
ASSISTANT: And Professor Rosbiff?
WILMA: He is on an important meeting. I'll manage the G-center in his absence. (pause) Meanwhile, the priority is recovering G-King's functionality, now that we've witnessed his efficiency, we will perfect it...
ASSISTANT: To me, this iron mass is still scary... is it really necessary?
(In Heaven, Tente is meeting professor Rosbiff, just where he said he will be staying.)
TENTE: The matter's simple. We must detect the Destroyer's location, and the one who is trying to use him.
ROSBIFF: That won't be an issue. The way I see it, the matter depends entirely on our own skill. Having no Discolo, Vegetal or Goku, our strongest warrior now is Chungohan and yet, he's still developing his potential...
TENTE: Let's drink a toast for our triumph over the evil forces, and may our conjoined effort not be in vain.
NARRATION: In the Other World's other world...
PESKAITO: Then, are you sure you want to go? You are not forced, and in fact, you'll have a hard time...
GOKU: I don't care. I want to take part, and moreover... I want to see my little kid. I have only seen him by telepathy, and encoded... I will be ready for the tournament in a couple days.
PESKAITO: It's your 'life', ahem, but ten years of eating couch and cheetos will come to haunt you. I don't think you will manage with only two days. I could even do the no-hand masturbating feat before yours...
NARRATION: We go back to the source of the Pow, Crash, and Ouchs...
CHIQUILIN: (pain) Arg... hey mister... would you mind telling us, before sending us to that harp-playing place... where in the seven hells did you come from or something?
BROCCOLY: As you wish, worm... My name is Broccoly. I am the last of the proud race of the Puyajin warriors. Somehow I escaped from our dying planet, and was taken in by this planet's inhabitants when I was but a kid...
(Pause blended into flashback images, to better understand.)
BROCCOLY: For many years I ignored my true nature, but when I reached puberty... it manifested in the form of uncontrollable violence fits in which my strength increased in spades. When kids my age got pimples and such, I got biceps, triceps and crab mood...
(Image of Regular Broly standing on a pile of corpses, not knowing shit about him...)
BROCCOLY: Although I lost all memory of it when I reverted back to normal form. For a time it was like Jekill and Hyde over again. Soon I began to control my transformation and figured out that my power was greater than a normal Puyajin. I searched in some old documents, and it came to me... I am the Super Puyajin of the legends, the mythical being who appears in each generation and whose power surpasses that of his entire race's! The universe's most lethal fighter!
VEGETAL: Ahem, I don't agree...
BROCCOLY: After my last transformation, I finished the people that still remained in here and started building a spaceship that would let me travel to other worlds and extend my reign of terror, haw, haw!
N-VIII: (narrows eyes)
BROCCOLY: I have it hidden in that house's cellar. Now that it is almost done, I will celebrate my departure by annihilating you all! (points)
VEGETAL: Don't know if you noticed, pretty boy, but yours truly is a Puyajin warrior too, and to boot, the planet's royal family's last heir. So, do you want us to get SPJ and start rocking?
BROCCOLY: Come on. If you really think that high of yourself, mister Prince of Fists, try and get me!
VEGETAL: Okay! (goes SPJ) Scared yet, pal? What do you think of my new looks?
BROCCOLY: Well, I can buff myself to hell too, you see? (goes L-SPJ)
VEGETAL: (0_0) Er, wow... I didn't expect that... I am starting to get why you came for our help, gal...
N-VIII: Grrr, if Vegetal is scared, I am NOT! I will fight to the end of my strength, to destroy you and avenge my lover, who you massacred along all this poor townspeople!
DISCOLO: Same here, I won't let you beat me!
XVIII: Neither I will! No one beats on my dear peachy boy! (CHIQUILIN: The peachy boy is in too!)
BROCCOLY: Oh, well, such a suicidal fool epidemic has suddenly appeared! As you wish. I will take on all of you, and I'll still have time to clean my hands from the mess!