April 1999
Joey was able to finally return the wire to Tony a few weeks later on the night of the surprise party for Rachel. They were throwing her a surprise birthday party and surprise was that the party was a month before her actual birthday. He had met up with Tony at his restaurant to hand it over with a disclaimer telling him that Officer Gary was the biggest moron in the world. He didn't expect to hear back from Tony so quickly but as soon as he walked into his apartment the phone rang.
"Officer Gary is a moron," Tony said.
"That was fast."
"He is a moron."
"I know and I'm fine with Pheebs dating. I just wish she wasn't dating him. By the way, I thought my crap was cleared. How did he know?"
"I'll have to figure that out."
"I don't want that crap on my record...I've been clean for...for...well my last arrest was when I was twenty five, right and I'm thirty one so...so-"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tony asked.
"I'm not an accountant."
"I regret ever making you skip school. Six years. You've been out of trouble for six years."
"Well, there you go but still...how did he know that? I thought it was sealed. I thought it was off my record."
"I don't know. I'm gonna have to have some guys investigate. Don't worry though, I have a couple friends who can help Officer Gary out. If he needs to help clear your files," Tony said.
"Don't, no….Phoebe and Gary are still dating. No."
"I'm not touching her, just him-"
"She knows nothing. As long as they are dating, don't touch him although...the tape, can you use anything?" Joey asked.
"Ehhh, I can make it work."
Joey laughed when he heard call waiting come over the other end.
"Hold on, I have another call," Joey said, switching over, "hello."
"Hey, Joey? Uh, this is Tyler. Chandler's friend."
"Oh, yeah, Chandler's not here."
"I know, he's downstairs with me and I need some help carrying him up the stairs. He's passed out drunk."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, he's...he's really drunk."
"How did-how-okay," Joey said clicking back, "Uncle Tony, I gotta go."
"I'm not done."
"I know, I'll talk to you later," Joey said, hanging up and running down the stairs to see Tyler trying to pull Chandler out of his car. Chandler could barely move and it made no sense that he would get that drunk. They had a party for Rachel that night. Why would he get drunk before Rachel's party? Joey and Tyler each grabbed hold of Chandler and carried him up all the flights of stairs towards the apartment and he was beyond thankful that Monica didn't open her door.
"What the hell happened?" Joey asked as they finally got him into the bathroom. He was still passed out.
"We went for drinks….me and him and his friend, Gandalf and...I think he's upset about the party," Tyler said.
"Why is he upset about the party?" Joey asked.
Tyler cocked his head to the side and gave him a look that struck Joey as a little strange.
"You really don't know?" Tyler asked.
"I wonder if he and Rachel got into a fight," Joey mused.
"Yeah, I gotta go. I gotta pick my kid up from daycare. By the way, you know, I've known Chandler since high school and he's always been a drinker but I think it's getting worse. I'm starting to get worried. " Tyler said.
"Me too. We all are. I'll take care of it," Joey said as Tyler walked out the door. Joey shook his head and walked back into the bathroom to make Chandler more comfortable. Joey let out an annoyed sigh as he fell back against the wall. He really did hate this. He hated that Chandler did this, that he would let himself get this drunk. He loved Chandler but he hated how difficult Chandler made being friends with him. Chandler let out a loud groan as he sat up.
"What time is it?" Chandler asked. "Where...what..."
"You alright?" Joey asked, sounding a little upset.
"Joey?" Chandler asked."What...huh?"
"Tyler pulled up in front of our building with you passed out. He called me from your phone to help him carry you up here," Joey said.
"Does Mon know?" Chandler asked.
"No. I saved your ass. But we gotta get you cleaned up for Rachel's birthday party. It's in an hour."
"Rachel's birthday...right. Rachel's birthday a month early. Seems like you'd be forgetting something," Chandler groaned.
"Get dressed. I'll help."
"I'm fine."
Joey nodded as Chandler pulled himself up. Joey walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him as Monica walked into the apartment.
"Hey, have you seen Chandler? Monica asked.
"Uh," he began looking back at the closed bathroom door,"I don't know. I haven't seen him."
And then as if on cue, he heard Chandler throwing up in the bathroom. Monica looked at him as he scrunched his together. "Monica."
"I have to get ready for the party," Monica said, glaring at the bathroom door before walking out. Joey let out another sigh as he looked towards Chandler's room. He walked in and looked under the bed. Had he fallen off the wagon? He looked around Chandler's room and found no pills. He kept looking and looking until he heard Chandler clear his throat in the doorway. Joey stood and let out a gasp, before catching himself. Chandler had finished his shower and was standing there in robe, looking furious.
"I don't have drugs," Chandler said.
"I know," Joey said.
"I've been clean for two years."
"You're drunk now."
"Yeah. You think there might be a reason?" Chandler asked.
"Look, dude….you told me to keep you from messing this up. Monica's gonna be pissed. You're fucking it up," Joey said.
"Yep, that's what's fucked up about this whole thing. Me being drunk. That's what's fucked up," Chandler said.
"Alright, you're clearly not in a good mood," Joey said, walking out of the room and into his room to get ready for the party. Chandler was still angry when they walked across the hall. He went to talk to Monica and Joey watched as Monica was ignoring him.
"Hey, I need to talk to you," Phoebe said, approaching him.
"What?" Joey asked, not looking at her.
"Okay, Gary keeps asking me questions about you."
"What?" Joey asked, now fully paying attention to Phoebe.
"Questions about Tony, about your arrests, about what you might know about Tony. If you've helped anything. He mentioned someone named, Willie Overall. They found remains in a basement-"
"What did you say?" Joey asked, he needed to talk to Tony. The name Willie Overall scared him.
"Nothing. I've said nothing. I said you don't really tell us very much and I don't know and-"
"Tell him nothing."
"I'm not an idiot but what's the deal?"
"I really hate Gary. I love you, Pheebs. I want you to be happy but-"
"I know. I'm going to his place tonight after this and-I won't say anything but who is Willie Overall?" Phoebe asked.
"I don't know," Joey lied.
"Yes, you do. You know."
"I'm not telling you."
"He's drunk," Phoebe said.
"Willie Overall?" Joey asked, wondering how that was possible?
"Chandler? What's going on?" Phoebe asked.
Joey shrugged. His thoughts about Gary were shoved to the back of his mind, he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Tony would take care of it, he always did. Now, he had to focus on the present. He really wasn't sure why Chandler was in such a pissy mood but as soon as Rachel arrived, Joey hoped that would be the end of Chandler's bad mood….or it would just make things worse.
"Wow….but….my birthday isn't until next month," Rachel said, as everyone gathered around her after yelling surprise. Joey noticed Rachel was carrying what looked like a present and something in him started to get nervous. Sure, Rachel was the type to buy herself many gifts but the gift she had did not seem like it was for her.
"That's the surprise," Monica smiled, walking over to Rachel to hug her.
"That's great, thank you but why isn't the party for Chandler? His birthday is today," Rachel said and suddenly the room went silent as everyone stared at Chandler. Did everyone really forget his birthday? How had that happened?
"Yeah, that's-that's what I wanted to tell you Mon," Chandler said.
"Oh my G-d," Monica said.
"But you know….let's party," Rachel tried, trying to make it all less awkward. Everything suddenly clicked for Joey. That was why Chandler was so pissed off? How had he forgotten Chandler's birthday? His thirtieth birthday? This made no sense.
"Chandler, I'm so sorry," Monica said.
"I'm fine, it is what it is," Chandler said, "but we can talk later."
Chandler walked off, leaving Monica looking stunned as the group surrounded her. Joey kept glancing over at Chandler, pouring himself another drink.
"We'll fix this," Ross said.
"We forgot his thirtieth birthday? How the fuck did we forget that? We've known him for twelve years, Ross, how did we forget his birthday? I'm his girlfriend….and..now he'll get drunk," Monica said.
"I'm sorry….thank you for the party," Rachel said.
"How did I forget? And here's the thing, here's a man who some people thought wouldn't even live to see thirty and we forgot his birthday," Monica said. "This is a big deal and we forgot. I forgot…."
That hit Joey hard. He remembered Chandler saying something like that once on his twenty fifth birthday. He had told Joey that people thought he wouldn't live to see thirty. That killed him. Joey watched as Rachel walked over to Chandler to talk to him as Chandler kept drinking.
"How do we fix this? I mean, I've been through a lot but I don't know how to fix this. How do we fix him? 'Cause this is probably gonna drive him over the edge," Phoebe said.
"It probably already did," Ross said.
If Ross only knew how true it was. He might have to tell Ross about what happened. After Rachel left Chandler, Joey thought he might try. He walked over to Chandler who was pouring himself another drink.
"Hey, buddy. Go easy, okay. I don't want you sleeping with another one of my sisters."
"Fuck you. You wanna look in my room for drugs again?" Chandler asked.
Yeah, Chandler was pissed. This was going to be a long party.
"If you're gonna be an asshole, I will," Joey said. "I'm sorry. Okay, I am...I don't understand how this happen."
"I get it."
"Oh, don't be an ass. We didn't forget on purpose," Joey said.
"Leave me alone," Chandler said, walking off.
Joey let out a sigh as he walked over to Ross and plopped down next to him and began eating the chips from the bowl on the table. He was about to say something when Monica sat next to him.
"Joey, today when I went to your apartment….that was Chandler throwing up in your bathroom, right?" Monica asked.
"Yeah. He got wasted with Gandalf and Tyler. I think they've become his drinking buddies 'cause he knows we'll judge him," Joey said.
"I hate Gandalf and hate that Chandler's hanging out with that guy again. He's really convinced Chandler doesn't have a problem," Ross said.
"What about Tyler?" Monica asked.
"Tyler thinks he has a problem. He was the one that called me and we got him upstairs to the bathroom. I was mad too and forgot, we'll take him to a game. We will make it up to him," Joey said.
Monica nodded and looked towards the door. Chandler had vanished from the party and Monica got up and walked out.
"How the hell did this happen?" Joey asked.
"I don't know."
"I'm gonna take him to a Mets game or something. You okay if it's just me and him? Sorry, I haven't hung out with him in awhile and-"
"It's fine, Joe."
"Thanks," Joey said.
"Yeah, I'll do something else."
"You know, I don't know…." Joey tried, not really sure of what he was trying to say.
"So...we have to do something," Rachel said as she and Phoebe joined them on the couch.
"He got so drunk today and I feel bad. How did this even happen?" Joey asked, knowing he was asking the same question over and over. He just couldn't figure it out.
"He really has a drinking problem, doesn't he?" Rachel asked looking at Ross.
"Yeah….and I'm sure this didn't help," Ross said.
They needed to figure something out. They needed to change this. Somehow. There was a cake on the table and maybe that's what they could do? Phoebe grabbed a post-it and wrote, "Chandler" on it and covered Rachel's name. When they were done, Joey went up to the roof knowing they were probably up there. He saw Monica and Chandler sitting together. Chandler was smoking.
"Hey, there you guys are," Joey said, "I think you both need to go downstairs."
"I guess. Hey...can we not tell the others that I was...that I-" Chandler said.
"That you drank too much? I won't." Monica said.
"I won't either," Joey said, although he was pretty sure everyone knew "And how 'bout I treat you to a Mets game, this week."
"Really?" Chandler asked.
"Yeah, you and me buddy," Joey said.
"I'd like that," Chandler said.
Chandler extinguished his cigarette as Monica stood up. Joey reached out his hand and pulled him up as he wobbled slightly. They walked silently back down to the apartment, Monica's arm around his waist. They reached the apartment and were immediately surrounded by Phoebe, Ross and Rachel.
"We are so sorry, Chandler," Phoebe said.
"I'm fine," Chandler said, "Happy birthday, Rachel."
"No, we're turning it around. Blow out the candles," Rachel said as they approached the cake that now had his name on it "Although...how drunk are you?"
"Look, we'll make this up to you," Ross said.
Chandler smiled as he leaned in and blew out the candles as everyone cheered and tried to turn it around.
"I'm getting a drink," Chandler grinned as he walked off. It didn't work. Joey looked over at Monica who looked completely shattered. He walked over to her and placed his arm around her.
"There were no drugs in his room," Joey said.
"He loves you and me more than his addiction, right? That's what you said?"
"I still believe that."
"Okay," Monica said as she walked off towards Chandler. Joey let out a sigh as Ross walked towards him.
"I don't know," Joey said. "I don't what else to say or do anymore."
"Hey, you know I never thanked you," Ross said.
"For what?" Joey asked, confused.
"For telling me about your arrests and some of the story of your life. How come you've never told me?"
"Cause you can be a judgemental asshole," Joey said.
"True, but you still should have told me," Ross said.
"I cleaned up your shit on Space Mountain. What more do you want from me?" Joey asked.
"Keep him alive," Ross said.
"Shit cleaning might be easier," Joey said.
"Well, at least you can rest assured he won't banging your sister tonight," Ross said.
"No, he'll be banging yours," Joey said.
"You wanna give my sister a break and go help out a raging alcoholic?" Ross asked.
"Yep, that's exactly how I want to spend my night," Joey said as he and Ross walked towards Chandler who was standing with Monica. Chandler was pounding back another shot. Monica looked absolutely petrified as Ross and Joey led Chandler away from the booze. They would figure something out.
It was six o'clock the next morning, he was laying in his bed when he was gently woken up by Phoebe. He woke up with a start and looked towards the door and back towards Phoebe. She had just walked in without knocking.
"One day, we should totally start locking the doors. It can't be safe," Joey said. "Phoebe, why are you here?"
"I broke with Gary."
"When?"
"About an hour ago. He shot a bird."
"On purpose?" Joey asked, that was a little odd.
Phoebe nodded as he made room for her in his bed. She lay down next to him as he pulled the covers over both of them and wrapped his arms around her.
"Where's Chandler?"
"Sleeping in Monica's room. Passed out."
"Oh. He scares me."
"I think he scares a lot of people. Except himself and that's the problem."
"Well….you got your wish, I'm not dating Gary."
"I may have to pay him a visit."
"Joey, I don't want anything to happen to him," Phoebe said, turning and looking at him.
"It's actually not your call now."
"What do you mean?"
"It may be me paying a visit or Tony or Christopher or….one of Tony's associates. He's digging deep and going up against some people he shouldn't really be going up against."
"I don't want you paying him a visit," Phoebe said.
"I won't."
"He knew so much stuff, Joey. A lot. I already knew about the four arrests but….what did you do? What was your job for Tony?"
"You're not wearing a wire, are you?"
"You're currently feeling me up, do you feel a wire?" Phoebe asked.
"No. I would um...I would bring people to Tony and they would….well kill 'em. I would bring that person….remember the story Rachel told us about seeing a guy being dragged out of his house? She was sure it was a mob hit."
"Yeah."
"It was."
"Oh G-d….wait-"
"I was the one with the gun getting the guy out of the house."
"Wow."
"I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of," Joey said.
"You and me both," Phoebe said as she leaned in and kissed him, "if you could help it, I don't want anything happening to Gary."
"This might be bigger than you or me or a dead bird. The feds are looking into Tony. Gary is also digging around so he could get info to the feds. They want Tony Soprano in prison and they're gonna do everything they can to track him down. I mean, if Gary arrested Tony Soprano it would be a big career changer for him but Tony's gonna make sure that doesn't happen."
"Oh. I'm glad you're out of that life."
"Me too but nothing is gonna happen to you right?"
"I'm fine."
"Good."
They leaned in and kissed each other as soon the benefits part of their friendship became apparent. They always seemed to know exactly how to treat each other and what to do to make each other happy although he was never sure why they could never just date. It would be so easy but maybe it would always be better to just have benefits to their friendship. That worked too.
Monica had planned a thirtieth birthday for Chandler on the roof of the building. She had made macaroni and cheese and they had set up a projection screen. Ross was setting up movies, Monica was getting nervous and Phoebe and Rachel were sitting together on two of the lawn chairs, chatting and Joey kept eating the mac and cheese as Monica approached him, frantic.
"Joey, stop eating the mac and cheese. Okay, where is he? Joey, go get him. Call him," Monica said.
"I will. Don't worry, Mon," Joey said as he walked towards the door that led from the roof to inside the building. He practically ran down the stairs and opened the door to his apartment when he saw Chandler walking towards his bedroom with a bottle of vodka and a glass. Joey slammed the door shut as loudly as he could. Chandler jumped and turned around, looking like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Having a party?" Joey asked.
"No. I'm...I thought you were out," Chandler said.
"Forgetting your birthday was a mistake. It doesn't mean we hate you. It doesn't mean we want you to leave," Joey said, choosing his words very carefully.
"I never said that."
"I know you. Chandler, we're going to see the Mets tomorrow. Everyone feels bad. There was no deeper meaning behind this. Hey, I wish you guys had missed my birthday."
"Well...easy for you to say, you're only twenty nine," Chandler smirked.
"Twenty two," Joey shot back.
"I'm...I'm a mess."
Chandler glanced at the floor, still holding the bottle of vodka and the glass. Joey hated these emotions that he felt for his friend. He wanted to punch him in the face, but also wanted to hug him and take away whatever pain was there.
"I know...I'm not letting you die," Joey said.
"I'm not gonna-"
"No, shut up. It was stupid. We shouldn't have forgotten your birthday. But you're gonna throw away everything away because we forgot your birthday?" Joey asked.
"If it was important-"
"I'm not doing this. Let's go upstairs...to the roof," Joey said, sounding annoyed.
"Why?"
"'Cause...just come," Joey said.
Chandler nodded and walked towards Joey, placing the liquor on the counter and following Joey out the door and upstairs towards the roof. They did not speak although there was a lot Joey wanted to say. Plenty Joey wanted to say but instead he said nothing. Soon, they reached the roof and Joey opened the door as the two stepped outside. Joey looked at Chandler and Chandler took in the scene. Ross was by the projection machine. Rachel and Phoebe were sitting on patio chairs, drinking. There was a giant table filled with many, many trays of mac and cheese. Chandler looked over at Joey, who had a smirk on his face.
"Happy birthday, asshole," Joey muttered so only Chandler could hear. Chandler smiled as Monica ran up to him and threw her arms around him. She quickly kissed him.
"Surprise," Monica said, "we felt really bad. I'm a horrible girlfriend. I mean, who forgets their boyfriend's thirtieth birthday."
"I wish people had forgotten mine. Thirty one. I'm thirty one," Joey mumbled, feeling choked up again as he walked towards the table of food, figuring now it would be okay to eat.
"Nine more months, you'll be thirty two," Chandler teased.
"Shut up, man," Joey said.
"Chandler, I'm really sorry," Monica said.
"Yeah, we all are," Phoebe said.
"I'm not," Rachel said. The other five looked at her. "What? I'm the only one that remembered?"
"Then why didn't you tell us?" Phoebe asked.
"It's okay, guys. Really. I'm not mad," Chandler said.
"Really? You aren't going to use it as a reason to do stupid crap because you think no one would care?" Ross asked.
Joey looked up from the lobster mac and cheese and stared at Chandler wondering how he would respond to Ross' comment. Would he tell the truth? Would he lie?
"Ehhh, I thought about it...but I knew you felt really bad so that was enough for me. So what do we have?" Chandler asked. Joey shook his head, it was unbelievable how good Chandler was at lying. It really did scare him. Monica wrapped her arm around Chandler's waist as she led him to the trays of mac and cheese.
"Oh, we have movies. It's set up and ready to go," Ross said.
"We have to see the Hot Dog movie first," Chandler said.
"No, we don't. If a movie sucks when you're fifteen and sixteen, it's gonna suck forever," Rachel said.
"Yeah, but Phoebe and Gary broke up. So we have to watch it," Chandler said.
"Thank you, Chandler. But we don't have to. It is a horrible movie and I'm okay," Phoebe said.
"No, we have to watch it. It's tradition...and then Rach, we can watch Weekend at Bernie's followed by Animal House," Chandler said, holding up the movies.
"Okay...fine. Let's watch the damn movie...and you're promising Weekend at Bernie's immediately after?" Rachel asked.
"Yep, I'll even kick Joey in the crotch as a preview," Chandler said.
"You do and I punch you in the head and throw you off the roof," Joey said.
"Alright, let's go. Hot Dog movie," Rachel said.
Chandler handed Ross the movie. Ross took it and got it ready as the rest of the group loaded up on mac and cheese and began watching. Joey had to make himself two plates as there was just too much mac and cheese to choose from. He could hear the Hot Dog movie begin and it was a horrible movie. When Phoebe was sixteen she had apparently run into Chandler as he was seeing this movie. Joey didn't mind the movie. It had naked chicks in it. Once his plates were filled, he sat with Ross, Rachel and Phoebe. Ross was messing with Rachel and teasing her about hating the movie.
"Is Rachel angry about the Hot Dog movie again?" Joey said.
"They are skiing naked. You cannot ski naked," Rachel said.
"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Ross said.
"You're a dumbass," Rachel said.
"I know you are, but what am I?" Ross grinned. Rachel stuck out her tongue at him. Ross laughed as he wrapped his arm around her.
"So how are you?" Joey asked Phoebe as he sat closer to her.
"I'm okay. G-d, would you look at these two?" Phoebe grinned. Monica and Chandler snuggled up together, Ross and Rachel were snuggled together.
"Yeah, we're the better pair though," Joey said.
"Duh. That's not even a fair contest," Phoebe said.
Phoebe rested against Joey. He placed an arm around her while trying to eat. It was difficult but he was impressed with himself. It was funny though, to anyone looking at the six of them in that moment, they looked like three couples, not one couple, one on again-off again couple and one pair that was strictly friends with benefits. Each pair came with drama, baggage and tears yet they each came with so much history and an unbreakable bond.
The first thing Joey did when movie night ended was go to the bathroom. He had held it in as long as he could and he ran into his apartment, ignoring Chandler yelling after him and went into the bathroom to see it clogged. That seemed odd to him. He hadn't clogged it. He walked out of the bathroom to see Chandler staring at him.
"It's clogged," Joey said.
"Yeah."
"Did I clog it?" Joey asked.
"No. It was me….I um-"
"How did you clog it?" Joey asked, trying to ignore the wild beating in his chest. His gut told him something had happened. Monica and Chandler had disappeared for a while during the movie night and Monica had looked upset when she returned.
"I...um...toilet paper."
"Chandler. Did you flush something down the toilet?"
"It was just one bottle. I only got one bottle, that was it," Chandler said, sounding very flustered.
Joey glared at him before turning and walking into Chandler's room to begin looking for drugs. Chandler didn't even stop him this time, didn't even say anything to him. Joey kept looking and found nothing. He turned back as he saw Chandler still rooted to his spot. He lunged towards Chandler, shoving him back just as Monica opened the door.
"Joey," Monica said as Chandler fell back and she ran between both of them, stretching her arms out to keep Joey from lunging again. It made him furious. Why did he make it so hard?
"I'm gonna kill you," Joey said.
"No, you're not," Monica said, "Chandler, are you okay?"
"Yes. Joey, I'm sorry...it was the one bottle," Chandler said. "I'm done. I'm not gonna do it again."
"He had drugs on him tonight. You were gonna take pills," Joey said, "you've been clean for over two years."
"Boys, it's okay. Stop. We talked about it already, I already got mad. Okay," Monica said.
"Who's your dealer?" Joey asked.
"What?" Chandler asked.
"Who is your dealer? Where do you get these pills?" Joey asked.
"I'm not gonna tell you. It's a guy, he calls his brother and…"
"What's his brother's name?" Joey asked.
"I don't want to tell you because you'll do something and-"
"He won't. Joey, you won't do anything, right? But I kinda want to know too. Where are you getting them? Who do you buy them from?" Monica asked.
"I'm going to bed," Chandler said, getting up and walking into his bedroom. Monica looked at Joey, sadly.
"He loves us more than the addiction. There were no other pills in his bedroom," Joey said.
"I almost dumped him tonight. This is hard, this is really hard but I mean, we did fuck up….even still….G-d, fuck, this is so hard."
"I know."
"I wish I didn't love him so much. It would be so much easier," Monica said.
"Yep, I'm right there with you. You go to bed. I'm gonna use the bathroom in your place," Joey said as he gave her a hug before walking into Monica and Rachel's apartment. After using their bathroom, he walked out and thought he heard noises coming from Rachel's room. He slowly crept towards her door.
"Oh, Ross….oh, baby….okay, okay and now I will take my tongue and slowly run my tongue up and down your body and…."
Joey's mouth dropped. Rachel and Ross were having phone sex? Oh, this was too good of an opportunity. He shuffled slowly into the living room and peered across the way. Ross' apartment was completely dark. He went back into his apartment and towards Chandler's room. He knocked and was pleasantly surprised when they told him he could come in. He saw them lying side by side, glad he hadn't interrupted anything.
"Chandler, come play with me real quick," Joey said.
"What?" Chandler asked.
"It's past midnight," Monica said.
"Come with me and play. I need you," Joey said.
"What's going on?" Chandler asked.
"I just walked past Rachel's room. She and Ross are having phone sex," Joey said.
"Ewwww," Monica said.
"I saw an opportunity. I figured you'd want to play," Joey said.
Chandler looked at Monica and then at Joey, a huge smile slowly appeared on his face as he jumped out of bed and ran out of the room. Monica laughed.
"I don't even want to know what you boys are gonna do just don't mess up my stuff and I'll just stay here and cut off my ears," Monica said.
"Perfect. 'Cause you're not really invited to be part of this," Joey said.
"I know. Thank you, Joey."
"We're in this," Joey said.
"Joe, I got the balloons, come on. Hurry," Chandler yelled.
Joey ran to the kitchen and the two boys began filling the balloons with water. When they felt they had enough, they walked back into Monica and Rachel's apartment and towards Rachel's room. They got closer to her door when they heard her.
"Oh, oh, Ross...yeah, yes….that's amazing, I love when you kiss me like that," Rachel moaned.
"On three," Chandler whispered.
"Why three? Just do it," Joey whispered back.
"Three's better," Chandler said.
"No, it's not. Let's go, dumbass," Joey said when suddenly they jumped into Rachel's room. She screamed at the sight of them as they pelted her with water balloons. The two boys were cracking up as they high fived each other.
"I'm gonna kill you both," Rachel said, getting up. She was completely drenched.
"Wait, what's going on?" Ross asked, through the telephone, "Rachel? Are you okay?"
"Sexy dinosaur," Joey yelled.
"Ross is a horny dinosaur," Chandler said.
"I'm gonna call Tony Soprano and order a hit on both of you," Rachel said.
"You can't do it that way," Joey said.
Rachel hung up and got out of the bed and started to move towards them.
"See, she doesn't do it on three," Joey said.
"Let's discuss while we run," Chandler said as he and Joey turned and ran out the apartment and into their apartment. They ran into Chandler's room and shut the door as Rachel was pounding on the door.
"I'm gonna kill you. I'm so gonna kill you," Rachel yelled.
"Happy birthday, buddy," Joey said.
"Thanks and I'm sorry."
"I know. I'm sorry too. It's all good. I love you man," Joey said.
"Yeah, love you too...by the way, where's Monica?" Chandler asked.
Joey looked over at the bed. Monica wasn't there. That was odd. They looked back at the door. It was now strangely quiet outside. Rachel had stopped pounding on the door.
"Did Rachel give up?" Joey asked.
Joey and Chandler exchanged a look as they slowly opened the door and stepped out into the living room. It was strangely empty.
"Monica?" Chandler asked.
"Rachel?" Joey asked.
They stepped into the middle of the living room, a little confused when suddenly Monica and Rachel popped up from behind the counter and began pelting them with water balloons. The boys started laughing as the two girls high fived each other.
"Monica," Chandler said, shocked.
"Sorry, baby, I love you but….sisters before misters," Monica said, placing an arm around Rachel.
"Yeah, baby," Rachel said.
"Great, you want to know what your metaphorical sister wanted to do to you literal brother?" Chandler asked which made Monica cringe.
"You know, I should probably call him to let him know I haven't been killed," Rachel mused.
"Or…." Chandler said as the foursome exchanged looks and without having to say a word, filled up more water balloons. They all then proceeded to walk across the street into Ross' building and up to his apartment. When they knocked on the door however, they were greeted by Ross and a water gun. He began spraying them as they started pelting him, laughing hysterically as the games continued. It did seem that these late night games were the perfect thing that made up for forgetting Chandler's birthday. He seemed happier which made all of them happier.