It's time to say goodbye to Miss Thatcher! :'(
Six weeks ago, I was lying in the hospital feeling sorry for myself. Peter and Gwen never visited. I should have been glad. But instead, my heart screamed for them, for Peter's kiss and Gwen's laugh. I wanted them like I never wanted anyone. The only thing that kept me going was Martha, who slept in my private room and comforted me day in and day out. She barely left my side, and I was so glad she didn't for I was afraid I was going to lose my mind.
I got released about ten days after I wound up there, broken and tender, but making a great recovery. The nurses had said I didn't have to go home if I didn't feel right, but I insisted on getting out of there. So Martha signed the released papers and she took me home, calling for a cab. She had come to the apartment when I had slept, and when I got in the place was less of a bomb site. I was frightened because I was so sure that I would never escape the nightmares, but Martha assured me that she was looking for a new apartment.
And, two weeks after I returned home, we were moving to an eight story apartment building. We moved closer to my school, just a five minute walk away, and Martha got a new job at another cafe with better pay, but she was also starting to train to be a teacher. The apartment itself was much more homely and on the top floor. The walls were painted brown with cream skirting boards, the floor coated in a cream coloured carpet. It was a three bedroom apartment, and we were using the third room as a small office.
My room was completely different to my old room. It was big and open, the far wall made up of a window and looking over into the city. The walls were painted baby blue, the floor being wooden in a light coloured wood. I put pictures of myself and my family. The photo of us on the beach had been blown up into a medium sized canvas, something Martha had gotten me for my birthday a few days before moving. That now lived up above my bed.
Martha and I got on much better. We talked about mom and dad constantly, reminding ourselves of all the good times we'd had. We went shopping a lot and shared a lot of days out, and for once it felt right. She had gone over her side of the story when she had been kidnapped, and I had never been so proud of her. She told me how she now understood how I felt, and I her, and I knew now that nothing could separate us ever again.
I also gave up the hoody look. I opted for my old fashion style, which was back to skirts, dresses and simple t-shirts. If I was going to move on, I needed to ditch everything from the last eight months. But, just because I changed my fashion style doesn't mean I changed my personality. I was still untrustingly, still suffering from nightmares every night, still heartbroken. Only now I had better control over it.
And then, three days after moving in and getting settled, I faced the hardest task of my life. I went back to school. It didn't matter that it was only a month until the end of term, I needed to show my face. I had gotten Martha to send in my assignment, and that had been the only thing I had done associated with school. So, I faced my fears and went back, hoping against hope that I could make it through the day. I did make it.
Walking through the corridors with a slightly bruised face, everyone stared. They stared at my clothes, my injuries, my slight smile. Some took a double take. Others stopped and said hello to me. Many parted to let me past, murmuring to one another. I didn't feel annoyed or self conscious or even angry. I just felt like I was home. And then I bumped into Charlotte and Jason, the rough and tough love birds who had cornered me a couple months ago.
"Watch it!" Charlotte snapped. I laughed at her, especially when she realised who had bumped into her.
"My bad." I said. Jason moved toward me, gritting his teeth but unable to keep the surprise from his face. I lifted my shoulder and spread my arms in an 'I dunno' look. "She should have watched where she was walking." And with that I walked around him, continuing down the corridor towards my locker. I heard Charlotte huff, making me smirk to myself.
My smirk vanished in an instant.
Peter was staring at me from his locker, and it was the first I had seen of him for nearly four weeks. Gwen was there, too, and I felt my blood run cold. I quickly shoved my bag in my locker and hurried off to my class, feeling their eyes burn into my back. That was the first and last I saw of them for the rest of the day.
I was glad to get home, to my new home, and find Martha hanging up more photos.
"How was school?" she asked, turning to me. I shrugged.
"Fine." and then I helped her continue to make the place our own.
It continued like that for the next four weeks. I went to school, growing more and more confident but continuously avoiding Peter and Gwen. I would constantly feel Peter's gaze on me in the classes we shared, hot and sour, and the hours there were excruciating. It hurt to think that he probably hated me, hated seeing the act I was pulling. The new clothes, the open attitude. I hated to think that he thought I was completely happy. If he only knew.
I was miserable without him. Gwen too. I desperately tried to deny that I needed them. I longed for his lips on mine, hot and urgent, his scent clogging my thoughts. I wanted his body against my, his hands in my hair. I wanted our passion, our ridiculous, amazing passion. And I wanted to hear Gwen's laugh, call her Blondie or Barbie, and act like she was the most annoying friend I had. There had been many times when I had stared at the phone, battling with myself as to whether call one of them or not. But I knew there would be no point. I would only hurt myself and them. Besides, they hated me now. And so they should.
It was a Wednesday night, Martha's night off, and we were sitting on the sofa watching New Girl on our TV. It was when the commercials came on that there was a knock at the door, soft and tender on the wood.
"I'll get it." I murmured to Martha. She nodded, standing and trotting off to the bathroom. I couldn't help but smile. As far as home life went, we were both content. Walking towards the door, I looked through the peep hole.
My heart went to my toes.
May Parker stood on the other side, looking fragile and unsure of herself out in the hall. How on earth was she here? How did she know where I lived? I couldn't grasp the situation, and without thinking I pulled open the door, gawping at the small woman in front of me. She smiled, but her eyes were sad.
"May?" I said, swallowing nervously.
"Hello dear." She said.
"Not to be rude, but, how did you know where-"
"Forgive me, sweetie, but I called your sister earlier today." She smiled sheepishly. "Peter still has your number."
"Oh." It was a dumb thing to say, but what else could I do? Without hesitation, she reached forward and took my hand in both of hers, looking at me sincerely.
"Perhaps it's none of my business, but I have to know... why won't you speak to Peter?" she asked, her voice somewhat desperate. "I've never seen him so... glum. He's so quiet at home, rarely smiles anymore. Gwen has come around many times, but she can't seem to cheer him up. Actually, she seems miserable, too. Please, I have to know. Did they do something to upset you?"
Normally, I would have completely diverted the question and slammed the door in their face. But this was May Parker! Sweet, widowed May Parker. I could never slam the door in her face. I respected her far too much. With a shaky sigh, I answered her question as softly as possible, keeping the ache at bay in my voice.
"They did nothing wrong." I murmured. "Actually, they did everything right. They're to amazing people, May, and they shouldn't be getting mixed up with me and my personal life. I'm sorry."
"They miss you so much." She whispered, squeezing my hand. "Peter especially. And I know you miss them, too. I see it in your eyes."
"I just... want to protect them." I choked. She shook her head at me.
"You're a good person, Claudia, inside and out. Just because many bad things have happened to you, it doesn't mean it'll pass on to others. Look at you! New home, new look, new everything. And things are only going to get better. That horrible man is locked up and will never been seen again. So there's just one thing missing." She spoke so proudly, like a mother to her child. My heart warmed with the thought. "A girl like you, Claudia, deserves happiness."
"I don't think I-" I began, but she held up and finger and cut me off.
"Think about it. I mean it. Really think. I want you to be happy just as much as I want my nephew happy." She reached up and hugged me, planting a kiss on my cheek. I stood frozen, awed by her words, her embrace. And then she left, squeezing my hand as if to say "Make the right choice."
I closed the door numbly.
"Who was it?" Martha asked, a towel in her hands as she dried them. I offered a small smile and walked back to the sofa.
"Just an old friend." I murmured. She shrugged it off, but the look in her eyes told me she knew who had dropped by.
The next morning, I had a package. Martha brought it up from the lobby, frowning as she did. The item was in a box, wrapped in ocean blue paper with a pink ribbon tied around it. I gawped at it, extremely confused.
"Either it's a late birthday present or a very early Christmas present." Martha said, handing it over to me.
"What do you think it is?" I asked. She shrugged, urging me to open it. I did, delicately undoing the bow in the ribbon and carefully taking off the paper. The box was white, and the lid had a note stuck to it. Reading it brought a lump to my throat.
Sorry it's late, it would have been nice if you told me when your birthday was!
Happy 'Late' Birthday,
Love Blondie.
Xxx
I took off the lid, gasping at what was inside. The blue dress that I was going to wear at the spring dance, which of course I had missed. The dress was wrapped in blue tissue paper, crinkling as I took the dress out and held it out in front of me. Martha gasped at it, touching it with her fingers somewhat lovingly.
"It's beautiful." She murmured.
"I know." I whispered. How could she? I thought she had hated me! But she went behind my back and bought me a dress I specifically told her not to buy. I couldn't help but smile. She was indeed a stubborn bugger. And it made me miss her even more.
"Wait, there's something else in there." Martha said, pointing. I followed her finger, seeing a small silver box. Frowning, put the dress over the back of the sofa and opened the little box. On the inside of the lid was another note, and this one nearly made me cry.
I miss you.
P xxx
And what he had bought me made me want to punch him in the face with annoyance, but also jump into his arms with joy. Inside the box was a silver necklace, a heart hanging at the end of it. It glimmered at me, begging to me worn. When I looked more carefully at it, however, I saw that my name had been carved into the centre of the heart. I hated to think about how much this must have cost him. Martha sighed dreamily at the necklace, making me look at her. She looked at me, smiling, and then she frowned.
"What?" I asked, holding back the choke of pain and happiness.
"Isn't there an end of year dance tomorrow night?" she said, raising a brow at me. My heart accelerated. God I wish I could hate you, Gwen.
And, sure enough, I went to the damn dance. How could I not? Peter and Gwen had made me want to see them with all my might, just by sending me them gifts for my birthday. And so I slipped into the dress Gwen had gotten me, unable to stop myself from twirling in it. Martha curled my hair and put into a half up and half down style, and she put some slight makeup on my face. She lent me some blue heels, saying that they were too small for her anyway. And, of course, I put on Peter's gift, letting the heart settle in the centre of my chest.
And when I got there, the sports hall was filled with dancing bodies and blaring music. The lights of the disco blinded me, the heat of the dancing bodies hitting me square in the face. I felt a blush run to my cheek when I saw my fellow students' mouths drop, taking in the transformed me. I hurried past them, searching for the only two people I wanted to see. I couldn't deny myself any longer.
I needed them.
I found them, standing in the far corner of the hall. Gwen wore that dress she got with me, scanning the crowd as if looking for someone. Peter looked rather dashing in a black suite, his arm around Gwen's waist and also searching through the crowd. And then, simultaneously, their eyes landed on me, and they grinned widely. I edged closer to them, suddenly unsure of myself.
Gwen ran at me and threw her arms around me. "You came! And you look amazing!" she said in my ear over the music.
"I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled back, making her laugh. And then I hugged her back, holding onto her tightly. "I'm sorry-"
"It doesn't matter! You're here!" and released me, looking like a bubbly child. I laughed at her, fighting back the tears in my eyes. Thank god she acted like nothing happened. I knew I could count on Gwen not making a big deal out of something that should have been. She fanned her face, furiously blinking away tears of her own. Before I could comment, she ran off into the crowd, distracting herself and effectively leaving me and Peter alone.
"Hey." He mouthed, smiling as his eyes raked over me. I didn't reply. I just rammed my body into him and flung my arms around him, needing to have him in my arms and six weeks of nothing. And I poured my heart out to him.
"I lied!" I shouted in his ear over the music. "I should never have said those things! I just thought I was doing what was best!"
"I know." He said, his breath hot on my ear and making my skin tingle. And then his mouth was on mine, kissing me furiously. It was the first time we had ever kissed in public, and I couldn't have a care in the world. His kiss took away all the pain, all the nightmares, all the fright. His hands on me made me feel secure, promising me safety I had denied for far too long. He poured everything he felt into our kiss. Pain, anger, relief... love. Hot, passionate love. It we weren't in a room full of people, I was pretty sure I would have lost myself.
He pulled away, brushing my hair out of my eyes.
"I love you." he said in my ear. My heart hammered in my chest, my skin warming with the words.
"I love you, too." I said, kissing him again. When he pulled away again, the way he grinned made my heart flip with nerves. He mouthed the word 'Dance', and I just burst out laughing, shaking my head. He pouted like a child.
"No!" I screamed. Instead, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bodies of dancing people. The song that was currently playing ended, and the room fell silent for a moment.
"Just one dance." He said, raising a brow.
"Fine! Just don't let me fall, okay?" I told him.
"I would never!"
And we danced all night.
That night was one of the best I had had in a long time. But, realistically, I would always be haunted by mom, dad and Rick. I would never escape the nightmares. Maybe they would become less frequent, but they would always be there, waiting to snatch me up when I was least expecting it. But that was what I needed. I would forever need those memories to help me keep going. I wanted to remind myself that I had made it through, and that I would continue to fight life until the very end.
After all, I was Thatcher. Thatchers never stopped fighting.
Just wanna say think to every single one of you who have supported me all the way through this fanfic! You have all made me so so happy, and it has been my pleasure to write this for you guys! For now, time to say good by to the Thatchers! I would never have been able to finish this without your support, and I mean c'mon... OVER 300 REVIEWS! I wish I could write down each and every one of you! So... Thank you thank you thank you!
For now, adios!