"Can we go to a Bug Ranch in Maryland?"
"NO!!" yelled Kagome.
"Well why NOT?!" Inu-Yasha demanded. "Whatever you're planning can't possibly be as fun as a Bug Ranch."
"What are you planning for us to do, Lady Kagome?" Asked Miroku.
"I plan on taking you to the United States Capital, Washington DC!" answered Kagome as she put her hand over her heart as if pledging allegiance. Then a flag background appeared behind her and began a-wavin'. "So…there are SO many things that we could do!"
"Such as…?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"Well…there's the White House, there's the Lincoln Memorial…" started Kagome as she counted on her fingers.
"Ooooh…" said Shippo as he pointed to a Dippin' Dots stand. "What's that?"
"That's just a Dippin' Dots stand." Said Kagome.
"Can we eat it?" asked Shippo.
"Yeah, it's KINDA like ice cream except…not…" answered Kagome. "So anyway, we can go to the Washington Monument or to the Jefferson…"
"I LOVE ice cream!" exclaimed Shippo. "And I'm hungry!"
"But don't you want to see any of the sights?" asked Kagome.
"I WANT ICE CREAM!!" Shippo yelled as he bounced over to the Dippin' Dots stand. Miroku obliviously followed him and soon, Inu-Yasha and Sango pursued this mysterious 'ice cream' that those two had never had.
Kagome sighed and trudged after them.
"What choices do you offer?" asked Miroku to the salesperson who was NOT Sessho-Maru.
"We have chocolate, vanilla and RAINBOW!!" said the salesperson.
"I WANT RAINBOW!!" Shippo yelled as he jumped up and down on the counted. The salesperson handed Shippo a cup of rainbow and before anyone else could even see what the Dippin' Dots looked like, Shippo said 'YAY!!', turned into a balloon and floated away.
"What do you recommend?" asked Miroku. "There are so many choices and I do not want to make the wrong one!"
The salesperson just scooped Miroku up a cup of chocolate and handed it to him. Miroku inspected it long and hard.
"This is not the same as the ice cream I got earlier…" he said.
"Exactly." Said Kagome. "They're Dippin' Dots."
"Hm…" said Miroku. "I don't know…"
"They look suspicious to me." Said Sango as she picked up a spoonful of them and allowed them to fall back into the cup.
"Here Inu-Yasha…" said Miroku as he handed the cup to Inu-Yasha. "You try them first and tell us if they're poisonous or disgusting."
"Why do I always have to test things?!" Inu-Yasha demanded.
"Because you've got a much stronger body and I do not wish to consume something that could potentially poison me." Said Miroku. "I try to avoid being poisoned at all costs."
"Yeah right." Said Kagome.
"I don't poison myself on PURPOSE, Lady Kagome!" Miroku yelled as if he were appalled. "I am not suicidal!! Or…I should like to THINK I'm not!"
"Here…" said Kagome as she swiped the Dippin' Dots away from Miroku. "I'll test them to show you that they're not poisonous."
"But if you take a spoonful of mine and they turn out to not only be NOT poisonous but also very good, then I'll have less." Whined Miroku.
"That's a sacrifice that you'll have to take." Said Kagome.
"Um…you have to pay me." Said the salesman.
"SILENCE!!!" yelled Miroku as he was ABOUT the purge the guy but Kagome realized this and since she didn't want anymore death and destruction, she dove on top of him and knocked him to the ground. "Lady Kagome! Please! I am a monk!"
"Yeah!" said Kagome, getting up. "I thought so! So why do you randomly kill people when they annoy you?"
"…I like it when people answer their own questions. Because then I don't have to say anything."
"So how did I answer it?!"
"Because they annoy me."
"You're NOT supposed to kill people when they annoy you!!"
"Then why WOULD you kill people?" asked Miroku.
"Yeah, Kagome, why WOULD you kill people?" added Inu-Yasha.
"You're not supposed to kill ANYONE!!" Kagome tried to explain.
"But what if they got REALLY annoying?" asked Inu-Yasha.
"No!" Kagome yelled.
"What if they were trying to kill us?" Inu-Yasha asked.
"No…" said Kagome slowly. "We REALLY shouldn't…"
"What if the offender had the person you loved hanging upside down over a pit of molten lava with a machete in one hand and a very large gun in the other hand. Not only that but there was a magnifying glass angled at the sun and the ray of heat was pointed at the rope that was tying your loved one up. What if the ONLY way to save the day was to KILL this person? Would it be okay?" asked Miroku.
"No." said Kagome. "I can say this because I know that this will NEVER happen."
"What if it does?" asked Miroku. "If by slim chance it DOES happen? Would it be okay to kill then?"
"NO!!" Kagome yelled. "NO killing!!"
"Are you guys going to pay or not?!" demanded the salesman. Then the salesman grabbed Sango and Kagome and tied them up and hung them both upside down over a pit of molten lava. He had a machete in one hand and a very large gun in the other. There was a magnifying glass angled at the sun and the ray of heat was pointed at the ropes that held Sango and Kagome in place.
"And Lady Kagome said that this would NEVER happen." Said Miroku.
"PAY ME OR THEY DIE!!" yelled Salesman as he cackled maniacally. "The only way to get by me, IS TO KILL ME!!"
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR INU-YASHA?!" Kagome demanded. "Do what you ALWAYS do, kill this guy and RESCUE ME!!"
"Now I'm just confused." Said Inu-Yasha. "ARE YOU SURE?!"
"Yes!" Kagome yelled. "Completely ignore everything I said and rescue me!"
"Fine, whatever." Said Inu-Yasha as he easily smote Salesman and saved Kagome and Sango from certain death.
"I knew you were going to eventually save us." Sango said casually to Inu-Yasha. "That's why I didn't say anything."
"Kagome, does this mean that I ignore EVERYTHING you said?" asked Inu-Yasha as he turned to Kagome who was practically hyperventilating. "Like the fact that everything is fake and things like that?"
"You know what I meant!!" Kagome HOLL-ered.
"Well now I don't know WHAT do believe." Inu-Yasha said, crossing his arms and seemingly TRYING to be annoying though that doesn't really happen often with him. It can happen with him now though. After all, he's out of character. Everyone is! YAY!!
"I'm sick of Maryland." Said Shippo as he ate more Dots. "It's boring."
"But we haven't gone to any of the sites yet!" Kagome pointed out, trying to sound patient. But then everyone starting simultaneously complaining to such an overwhelmingly large extent that Kagome decided not to bother since she didn't really care about US history either. "All right, let's just get back to the car." Said Kagome. They all turned around and the car was right there! YAY!!
Then they drove about a foot and crossed over the Maryland border and entered… PENNSYLVANIA!!