Regrets

Doofenshmirtz's groaned as the pain pulsed through him. It was getting worse every second.

He sighed. Maybe it served him right… abandoning everyone in the building as it was about to explode like that. He hadn't seen who had fired the shot as he'd raced through the halls…

The cool, smooth tiles felt good underneath him. He rested his head against the floor, wishing he'd thought this through more. He was an evil dictator. He didn't need help. Couldn't afford to be weak.

He… hadn't realized that he'd lost this much blood. His strength had sapped, and he was too tired to keep his eye open.

Beside him, Platyborg gave an anxious whimper.

Stupid platypus never worried about him like that. Wait… he'd already used that one. And on second thought… he squinted his eye open to peer down. Well what do you know?

The stupid platypus was worried about him.

He scowled. "If you think you're going to make me feel worse, you can forget it, Perry the platypus." He took a shuttering breath, determined to keep some of his dignity. "I said I was sorry, and that's all you're going to get."

He closed his eye again, but he couldn't shut out the feeling of the little hands pressing into his side, trying to stop the bleeding. Great… now he did feel worse.

"Sorry that took so long." AJ's voice followed behind the sound of wheels.

He let himself be pulled to his feet, and onto something cold and uncomfortable, that wasn't nearly long enough. "Am I laying on a salad cart?"

At least AJ had the heart to sound apologetic. "Sorry."

Candace, however, sounded like she was rolling her eyes. "You're lucky we found anything in this dump."

He was wheeled down a couple halls, to what he assumed to be his lab. He groaned, knowing that his operation table was platypus length. Luckily, the cart was about as high, and they pushed the two of them together, making it long enough.

He whined, "This thing hurts."

Somewhere below him he heard the platypus sigh in agreement. "You already got your apology, Platyborg."

Candace sounded angry now. "Where do you keep your pain medicine?"

He shook his head. "Don't have any. Never use it." Of course, that was only because he never thought he'd be the one needed it…

AJ was the most calm person in the room. "Perry, go get a first aid kit from the headquarters. We're going to need it."

The platypus gave a hesitant chatter. Doofenshmirtz barked. "Well what are you waiting for?"

That sent him scurrying.

He spoke to anyone that might be listening. "I do have bandages. Second cupboard, over there somewhere."

He could hear a door open, and then someone started unwrapping the bandages he'd tried to w wound. "Which one are you?"

She didn't bother with wit. "AJ. Candace went to help the others."

He groaned. "That's too tight! Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Yes, and it has to be tight.." She sounded focused.

He sighed. "How bad is it?"

There was actually a bit of sympathy there. "You're going to hurt for a while. But it'll heal."

He forced a chuckle. "Too mean to die, huh?"

"Well that sure doesn't factor in much."

He coughed. "I'm trying to make a joke here. Lighten up…. You know, you used to talk a whole lot more."

"This might sting…"

She touched something cold and wet to his side, and he gritted his teeth. "You weren't kidding."

She was dabbing at the wound now, and as much as it hurt, she was being gentle. It was no wonder the platypus liked her better. Despite his best efforts, his mind wandered back…

'Platyborg, go patrol. And when you're done, clean the toilets.'

'Platyborg! Why is the resistance winning? Get into that cell, and stay there until you're ready to win!'

'Platyborg! I said NO decaf! Why did I even build you, you worthless refurbished trashcan!'

'Hey, Platyborg! I'm bored. Get over here so I can mess with your wiring.'

And those weren't even the meanest things he'd said to the cyborg.

"Why is Platyborg even helping?" Whoa, he just said that out loud?

He could almost hear her blink. "Because that's who he is. There's a reason you needed the pain modifiers to keep him on your side, and it had nothing to do with you. It was what you were doing."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… Perry the platypus is good to the core… boring!"

He recognized the sound of the rockets as the platypus returned.

"Great! Thanks. Hold this."

He coughed again. "Took you long enough."

He could hear AJ unscrewing something. She warned, "This is probably going to sting."

This time, he gritted his teeth in advance, as she squirted something into his side.

"Ouch! What the heck was that? Are you trying to finish me off?"

"Disinfectant."

"Platyborg, you let her use that again, and next time I get you on this table, I'll…"

"You're not really in a position to be threatening anyone."

Finally, sarcasm! "For a second there, I thought this was going to be like one of those sappy tv shows I banned."

He could hear a chair push up by his other side, and the cyborg climbed into it. He chattered, but Doofenshmirtz couldn't make much out of it. He turned his head, and squinted his eye open. "What?"

Platyborg patiently repeated the chatter, pointing at the side that AJ was re-bandaging. She glanced over. "Yeah. What did happen?"

He shrugged his left shoulder. "During the whole, evacuation thing. Right after I passed you in the hallway. Someone took a shot at me."

Playtborg chattered again.

"I don't know who." Actually, at first, he'd thought it had been Platyborg. After all, If he'd been the platypus, he would have taken his revenge long ago. Instead, the little guy was standing on his tiptoes, anxiously watching his partner bandage the wound.

Doofenshmirtz felt nauseous. It had always irked him that his nemesis was so… he didn't want to use the word 'cute', but it was something like that. How do you take pride in fighting a cuddly little fur-ball? Not even the metal casing helped that much.

"I know you're the good guys and everything… but seriously…how the heck can you two help me, after what I did? Isn't that like… counter productive or something? Save the bad guys?"

AJ shrugged as she finished tying the bandage. "You need help. But don't think we won't go right back to punching you in the face the minute you're better."

"Oh come on, seriously?"

Platyborg smirked, and nodded.

AJ held out a hand, and he winced as she helped him sit up, letting his feet dangle.

He took the ibuprofen she offered. "Well, I may not capture you again and treat you like slime, or use robots to take over the city for a reign of terror, but I'll be back to my old tricks soon enough!"

A loud, theatric voice boomed behind them. "That is, if any of you get the chance!"

A rope shot out, and wrapped itself around AJ's arms, trapping her as it pulled her back.

Before Platyborg could react, the Reguritator stepped out, grabbed her in one arm, pointing a gun at her with the other.

"You know what you've done, platypus?"

Doofenshmirtz winced. They'd all fought him. And they were all about to pay the price.

"I want that machine, and I want it now."

AJ squirmed. "It blew up!"

"Not that machine! The one that will take me to the other dimensions! I know you're working on it

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eye. "Of course you know. That was our plan."

"What?"

Ignoring Platyborg's frantic hand signals to stop, he went on. "We tricked you! We're not building a machine! It was a trap!"

The Regurgitator started shaking, veins protruding on either side of his neck. "Then I don't need her, now do I?"

"Wait!" Doofenshmirtz held out the hand that wasn't clutching his side. "I haven't finished."

He could feel the platypus tense beside him. As long as that gun was pointed at AJ, there was nothing he could do.

It was the perfect setup.

"We don't have your portal, but I know who does. Cut me in on the plan, and I can get it for you."

To be continued…

A/N: Wow, Alt. Doof just got his own chapter! I never saw that happening! Hope you liked it!

Thanks for reading! : )