Julie thought of the wall, and was suddenly in front of it, staring down its endless length and height. She turned, to look back at the other souls drifting in the void. They wavered and circled weakly, never going anywhere. Aimless. Pointless.
What did the wall mean? What was it for? She reached out, and realized that she didn't have anything with which to touch it... after all, she was just a really bright light, in a really dark space.
Like sunlight bouncing off a thousand waves...
Perry's voice came to her again, and she smiled. Or at least, she thought she did. He always did have a nice way with words. When he let himself be himself, not what he thought other people needed him to be. If it weren't for the freaking zombie apocalypse, she'd have pushed him to be a writer.
A heavy sadness hung on her then, but his voice kept drifting through her thoughts.
Everything is drawn to you... in this world, the next... the place inbetween...
Julie froze. Which was meaningless in a form that wasn't really a form at all. But her mind stopped on those words, then started to circle.
Everything? She glanced back at the twinkling lights that stretched out endlessly through the void. Through the darkness.
And suddenly she knew, as she turned back to the wall and Rowan's words echoed through her.
...it's like there's a wall in my head... and it's breaking, and everything's spilling out...
This was Rowan's wall.
It had to be.
She'd snapped towards him when the dark thing had taken him over, after all. Somehow... she'd ended up behind it... with all of the other souls...
Oh my god... is it all of them? All of the souls that were taken?
There were so many, what other explanation could there be?
What had Perry said? Something about.. when people slipped through, and felt the reality of their own death through Rowan... they were free?
What if... she drew them all together right here? To this point? Could they break the wall? Would they all be free then?
She stared into the endless, formless void, and back at the strangely mundane, ordinary wall.
What else could she do but try?
But... how the hell do I do that?
She looked back to the lights again, circling, drifting.. aimless.. oblivious.
You glow like the heart of the sun... everything is drawn to you...
Was it really that simple?
And could she do it?
Uncertainty gripped her. How was she supposed to be sunshine on all those waves, like Perry said? How could she even imagine that she could do something like that?
The doubts drifted through her, strangling her heart, and her light grew... dim.
And that just made her angry.
No. No room for doubt or fear. Not anymore.
Be hope.
Okay... let's do this.
Um...
Hope on!
The thought made her laugh, and she flared briefly in the suffocating dark. A few of the lights twinkling nearby stopped wavering, and grew stronger. Closer.
The realization brought a rush of excitement, and her light blazed strong again.
I can do this!
Julie focused everything she had, everything she was, on the feeling she got in her heart just before laughing out loud. She thought of Rowan, and the moments she'd been drawn into his eyes, drawn into his soul and felt a love there that left her breathless and trembling...
And she thought of the little one within her... the little life tied so tightly to her own, and refusing to believe in her own death, she thought of every bright smile they would share, every fit of laughter she'd hear, every uncontrollable giggle, and eyes as bright as the bluest sky looking back at her with the purest, deepest love of a child.
And Julie burst like a nova, into a star of brilliant diamond light.
Every light that she could see, every aimless drifting soul, suddenly stopped. And slowly at first, uncertainly, they drew towards her, then started to race, until they were speeding so incredibly fast she couldn't track them anymore.
They swirled and grew around her, and the darkness dissipated, and everything was so incredibly bright she wasn't sure where she was anymore in the thick of it.
And then she felt it.
The wall, at her back, or front, or whatever part of her faced it as pure light.
And she tried to push it.
It was solid.
Okay wall, time to break!
It did not break.
Oh come on, I have like a billion souls bouncing around back here - break!
The wall stretched away on all sides. Solid. Too solid. More solid than she.
Her light grew a little dim.
And a terrible thought hit her as she puzzled over how to get through.
If all of these souls were to 'die' through Rowan... wouldn't that hurt him?
Like, a lot?
And she knew the answer with heartbreaking certainty.
Yes.
Her light grew dimmer still, and some of the souls around her started to flicker and fade, just like she.
It's going to destroy him.
Julie felt a terrible pain at the thought, deep in the very center of her being, and her light dimmed dramatically, sputtering like a candle under breath. She pressed against the wall, and closed eyes she did not have.
But... I have to do this.
Because it wasn't about him. It couldn't be.
It was about saving... everybody.
Opening eyes she did not have, opening her heart despite the terrible knowing of what was about to happen, Julie drew in every joy she'd ever experienced in her short life, every moment of love and happiness she'd ever known.
And she glowed, brilliant and blinding, like the heart of the sun.
And the wall began to crack.