Lately Cartman didn't know how he came to be interested by other romantic couples. One day he'd been walking out of a convenience store with toys and candy in tow, only to be stop and stare as a teenage boy and girl were making out in an alleyway. Finding the sight to be annoying at first, instead he was rather fascinated by it. Now Cartman began to wonder what it was like to truly fall in love with someone. The idea of love sounded so alien to him… Something he'd been deprived of all his life. He wondered if he was even capable of it…
All day Cartman started seeing them everywhere he went, seeing happy couples on their dates, doing romantic activities, going to romantic places, spending special time together, just the two of them. Sometimes he would secretly spy on these couples and watch with increasing interest at their loving behavior and strong desire for each other. It was the ultimate bond to have with another human-being… It wasn't just something Cartman thought about but something he wanted to have. There was only one way he could better understand these strong feelings he was starting to have…and only one person who could teach it to him.
I had to dig a finger into my good ear just to make sure I was hearing Cartman right. "Let me see if I can get this straight…," I said slowly. "You want me to teach you how to love someone."
"That's right." Cartman nodded his head whole-heartedly. "So how about it, Kahl? You're a brainy Jew. Can't you teach it to me?"
I had my doubts about this sudden request of Cartman's. Teach the most vile, racist, sociopathic scum in the universe how to love? It sounded like an impossible task, not to mention I was having a tough time believing that Cartman really wanted to know things like that. I wasn't really taking him seriously. Even though we were getting along better than we ever did in the past; somehow I wasn't so sure if I was up to it. I frowned suspiciously at Cartman and wondered what his real motives were.
"I don't know, Cartman. I don't think you're ready." I gazed thoughtfully outside my bedroom window to see the bright sunny sky and felt a cool breeze blow into my room. "We still have a lot of other lessons we haven't gotten to yet. You're still having trouble learning."
"Dammit! Don't say that!" Cartman snapped. "I know all about compassion, friendship, loyalty, and…and the third thing, what was it? Anger management? Or was it manners? Ah screw it…but I really "am" learning, Kahl! I swear!"
"Quit screwing around, fatass," I sighed. "Anyway I can't really teach you about love because honestly…I don't know much about it myself."
However Cartman wasn't about to be deterred by this and kept on hounding me about it. "Well why don't you tell me your take on love? Tell me what you do know." With that, Cartman sat himself on my bed and patiently waited for him to speak.
Giving another sigh, I figured it wouldn't hurt to give him some pointers. "Oh very well…let's see… Love is the most powerful feelings in the world. There are all kinds of love out there. You need to open your heart and truly let someone in. Once you let a special someone into your heart, their love will stay with you forever."
I glanced over at Cartman and wasn't prepared for what I saw. Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but Cartman had been staring at me the whole time I've been talking, only to look quickly away when I tuned to face him. I had the irresistible urge to laugh because I secretly found it funny that he would pay such close attention to me. I found that I rather liked it… Eventually I changed my mind and decided perhaps I would go ahead and give him the lesson after all. Cartman tried to sneak another peek at me; I flashed him a smile which he returned.
"So you'll do it then? You'll teach it to me?" Cartman asked hopefully.
"Yes… I will." I told him. "But if I do this… there's something I want to know first. I need you to convince me of something. I want to know why you want to learn this. What do you have to gain from it?"
Cartman's smile faded a little as I waited around for him to give me an answer. Was he merely thinking up a good lie? Whatever his reasons, I had to know that he was serious about this. Because it's not like Cartman to be interested in knowing good morals…nor is it like him to be this interested in me. Chances were he was using me as part of some ulterior plan he had hidden up his sleeve. It wouldn't be the first time he exploited my help and kindness. But that wasn't the only reason… I think I'm developing a crush on Eric Cartman… I couldn't allow myself to get too close if it did turn out to be some sinister scheme. What felt like forever, Cartman finally looked me in the eyes and seemed to have a ready answer?
"Kahl…" he began quietly. "Would you believe me if I said…well… I've been having these terrible thoughts in my head lately? My headaches are worst than ever. I'm sick to death of constantly having to take medication for it. I feel like I don't know who I am or what I'm going to do. I've always felt like something bad is going to happen, and I only know this because "I'm" the one who's making bad things happen. I have no control…"
With that, Cartman threw his head into his hands as if trying to block whatever thoughts were tormenting him inside. It's hard to not feel sorry for him. Although Cartman's strained behavior was starting to worry me. Was this a sign that his old memories were coming back? Was his evil side taking him over? I couldn't ignore this, surely there had to be something I could do for him. Getting up from my chair, I approached Cartman and took his hands away from his head and held them. I comforted him as best as I could.
"Cartman…look at me…. I want you to tell me what exactly is bothering you. Stop being so afraid and talk to me. You know I can help you," I said soothingly.
"No…no you can't! I'm beyond help now." Cartman lamented. "You've no idea what I've had to deal with! I can't go through with it anymore. I don't want to live like this…"
"Don't give up on yourself, Cartman. Give it a chance. If you would just tell me what's wrong, it would make you feel better. And I promise I'll do my best to help you," I said gently.
"I really wish you wouldn't…" Cartman said miserably. "I'm not even worth the trouble. Even if you did know what was going on, you would never…"
Cartman's voice trailed off when he gazed into those brilliant emerald-green eyes that contained more love and goodness than anything he was ever going to see. His beloved Jew who never failed to feel compassion for a lowlife like him. If Kyle ever knew what kind of atrocious schemes he'd been participating in, Kyle would never want anything to do with him ever again. But he couldn't tell Kyle the truth either. Cartman felt utterly helpless…unable to do anything about his predicament. How had he ever let things get this far? Although Cartman did tell Kyle one honest thing.
"To answer your question, the reason why I keep coming back here to learn is because it's the only good thing I'm actually doing. It's the only time I ever feel good about myself. Most of all… it's because I want to see you Kahl. I like being with you and I know you like being with me too. I'm here because I want to be."
Hearing Cartman say all that to me just made my heart thump faster and my face go redder. It's not because he sounded so emotional and vulnerable, but because he looked me in the eyes and made a connection. It's because for the first time ever, he might actually have good intentions. Seeing Cartman express himself so openly like that made me fall even more in love with him. Despite his tough exterior, Cartman's heart was growing bigger with every human experience and emotions he welcomed into it. Now that Cartman had told me what I needed to hear, I pulled him closer to me and held him in my arms.
"Uh Kahl? Does this mean you're not pissed off at me?" Cartman asked as he placed his hands on my shoulders but didn't push me away.
"No Cartman. You just reminded me on why I waste my time trying to teach a fat fuck like you," I smirked broadly.
"We've been over this, asshole! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned! Wipe that smirk off your face or you'll be wearing it on your Jew ass!" Cartman hollers back indignantly.
Cartman shuts up immediately when he looked down and realized that I still holding his hands and now I was leading him out of my bedroom. If I was going to make the fatass feel the love, there was only one right way to do it. It kinda made me nervous about doing this, especially knowing how unsure I felt about Cartman. I didn't know where this was going to take us. It was only a crush anyway… I'm sure it would go away sooner or later. But I had no idea what fate had in store for me…
The Kyman romance is about to heat up like a summer-heat! The next chapters coming up will excite readers, especially if you're a Kyman fan. But not to worry, Dip and Stenny will also have their moments so keep reading and leave me reviews! I promise it'll be worth the read!