Complicated
Chapter 37
Weeks Later
Having a baby in the house again is a huge adjustment. My schedule revolves around her and taking care of Eugene. He has school, his after school basketball practices and his games every couple of weeks along with his drawing classes that his goes to twice a week. I am divided in half. Work isn't something I'll be thinking about until Emma is 6 months old. Maternity leave I'm grateful to have this time with her.
She is a very calm and quiet baby. The complete opposite of how Eugene was. Emma only cries if she needs to eat or be fed. Or when she needs attention. Very easy. She already is showing her dad's Eugene was a baby he was practically glued to me. Fussy and always wanting to be held. And in my eye sight. He made sure you knew he was there. At moments I missed those days. He was getting to be so independent. And he loved his sister so much. He always wanted to help take care of her in some way. As soon as he gets home from school. She is the first person he asks about.
Emma was 8 weeks old now her smiles were a favorite sight of mine. She was actually reacting and listened as you spoke to her. It was a highlight every day waking up and walking into the nursery to see her adorable had her dad's squint. It was so cute to see whenever it happened. My favorite part of the day was bedtime. I read a story to Eugene then he read a story to Emma it filled my heart with joy seeing their closeness and the bond they were building develop right in front of my eyes.
Karen has stayed true to her word and has been a huge help. With both kids. And a person I can talk about motherhood who understood and get rid of my worries. I stressed out on a daily basis. Trying not to make mistakes and I worried about the impact of my choices on them. Becoming a mother had brought out this side of insecurity, fear, and protectiveness. I never had before.
On the few moments of quiet it's then I take the time to read Lucas 's letters or write back to him. Our phone calls last for a few minutes same with our video chats which can cause my heart to ache missing him so much. But I deal with it. He thanked me multiple times for the video of Emma's birth.
I smiled and told him how much I enjoyed making it and how we were holding it together really well. Which was true for Eugene and Emma being unaware of the absence Karen worried but she was used to it. Given her history with Keith. Lucas told me recently what his commanding officer had told him and the rest of the soldiers in his unit. This tour would last 4 years. I almost dropped the phone when he told me.
Eugene would be 8 years old. Continuing to grow and change. Becoming more his own person by the day. Memories and milestones would pass by. Emma would be 4 years old. Just beginning her childhood.
My heart felt as if it was breaking into pieces. But this was the life I chose. My children needed me to be strong for them.
...
3 years Later
I had just managed to finish cleaning up from the birthday party.
Emma and Eugene were tired but awake. They were coming down off a sugar high of cake and other desserts.
Emma was 3 now. Into clothes, wanting to play dress up, get into my make up, and always was involved in something she loved baking with her grandma Karen and was fully engaged in everything she did. Her best friend was Peyton and Jake's son Wyatt.
Eugene was now 7 years old. Was now enjoying junior league in basketball. Had grown a talent for drawing. He and Emma were best friends. He was very protective over her. When he wasn't at school, doing extra curricular activities, or spending time with family. He was hanging out with his best friends. Jamie Scott, Jenny Jagielski , Skills and Bevin's daughter Mia Taylor. They were practically inseparable.
At the sound of the front door opening they looked up smiles of happiness coming across their faces.
(Daddy!) They said in unison. Rushing into Lucas 's arms as he walked through the door.
(Happy birthday buddy!. Hi sunshine.) Lucas said. Hugging them back.
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