Death was nothing like I had expected. I felt all of the pain. I felt when my lungs ceased taking in air. I felt when my organs shut down, one after the other. My bones had felt like they were stabbing me in every part of my body. My blood rose into my mouth and suffocated me. It had felt like my death had taken an eternity, but finally the pain stopped. Then there was nothing. That was the only way that I could describe what death was like. It was nothing. Nothing but me and my thoughts. Even my thoughts were so scrambled that I had no idea what I was thinking. Most of it was memories.
Before you fade into the black, they say that you see your life flash before your eyes. That was exactly what had happened to me. I saw flashes of the best and worst parts of my life. I saw myself take my first trip to the zoo with my parents, one of the few happy memories that I have of them. Then there was my first day of school. My father had been so afraid to let me go that he had almost kept me home. My mother was the only reason that I had even made it in the doors that day. Then there was the day that Penny was born, everyone was so happy that day. Then there was the day that my mother took Penny shopping, leaving me alone with my father after they had been fighting. He had drank so much that it was the first time that he laid an unwanted hand on me, and it was the first time that I had been sent to the hospital. Then it was the day that I left home, and my time in prison after that.
There were a few glimpses of my time working, and my time in college, but then there came the most important day of my short life. The day that I heard the announcement that the dead had come back to life. And there was the next day, when I had drank too much and nearly been killed by Glenn and Daryl. Seeing it a second time the whole fiasco was hilarious. There was making up with Glenn and meeting everyone from the Atlanta group. So few of us were left alive. Now they were down one more. But that same day had been the day that Daryl had first yelled at me. Then there was the rescue of Rick and when we lost Merle. The CDC, and Highway 81, where we had lost Sophia. The first time that I had been shot and meeting everyone on the Greene farm. Daryl's story of the Cherokee Rose, and the day that he had been shot by Andrea and I had attacked her. The barn where we had lost Sophia, and Hatlin's bar where I had been shot again. The first kiss Daryl and I had shared, and goofing around with everyone in the Greene yard. The day we had lost Dale, the best father I had ever had. Killing Shane had come after that, and then there was the time that I had managed to evade death. I guess he was coming back for me now.
Plenty of other memories had flown by too. The winter where I had been busy recovering, and when we had first spotted the prison. The first time that Daryl and I had slept together. Losing Lori and meeting my father again. Meeting Merle again and having him and Daryl leave. The day that my father had attacked the prison and we had defeated him. Taking everyone in and building the prison. Losing Zack and having the sickness spread. The panic in Daryl's eyes as he fought to save me.
Looking back, my life could have been much worse. It would have been had I not met the people that were my real family. The people that I loved more than anything. I was blessed to have ever met any of them, and despite the fact that my time with Daryl was cut short I was so grateful to have ever met him. Light began to flood my vision and I knew what was coming. I was going into the light. This was now officially the end of my life here on Earth.
"Rain," a deep voice called out to me. I struggled to find the source of the voice, the light being so overpowering. I fought to move around in the light, but nothing worked. Finally, my eyes pulled open and I was blinded by bright white light. My eyes were crusted and every part of me felt like it was on fire. I had thought that when you died all of the pain was taken away. I guess that was wishful thinking though. "Rain," the voice called once more as my vision fought to recover.
A few minutes later, my vision was finally back to me and I wondered if I was truly in my version of Heaven. I was laying on a small cot with a bunk bed above me. The walls of the room that I was in were all a solid grey and the door to the room that I was in was barred. The prison? That was my Heaven? Or was I really alive? Had I somehow survived? I blinked and looked around. The room was still fuzzy but I saw a figure sitting at the foot of my bed. I tried to speak to the figure, tried to ask why I had needles sticking out of my arm, but it came out as nothing more than a low moan.
"Rain," the voice called, louder now. I looked once more at the owner of the voice and finally my vision came back full force. Daryl. It was Daryl. He was looking at me with red eyes that were now glistening with tears that hadn't been shed yet. I stared at him in shock as he grabbed my hand and leaned his head into my bed. I wanted to say something, but the only thing that would come out were nonsensical moans. I felt a warm tear fall on my hand and weakly I placed a hand on the back of Daryl's head. He looked up at me and leaned into me. For a moment the sickness jumped into my mind, but clearly if I was alive, I was over it. His lips met mine and I smiled into the kiss. It was deep and full of raw passion. He pulled me into him so tightly that it hurt, but I wasn't going to say anything. Our lips moved together and I smiled as our mouths opened. For what seemed like eternities, we sat there together, our lips locked. But finally he pulled away and smiled at me. "I can't believe you're alive," he said to me in a voice thick with tears.
"I-I-I'm really alive?" I asked, tears beginning to fill my eyes. I had no idea that I would live through the sickness. Before I had passed out in the car I had parted with Daryl. I was ready to die. No part of me had been prepared to wake up again.
Daryl nodded at me and handed me a glass of water. I downed it quickly and cleared my throat. It would probably take me a while to get the scratchy tome out of my voice. I watched as he leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed a protein bar. He unwrapped it and I happily munched on the bar. I had to go slowly though, too much food and I knew that I would throw it up. "What happened? How did you save me? I only remember passing out in the car," I told him.
He sighed and shook his head. "Rain, you didn't just pass out and wake back up. It's been a while." I wanted to slap Daryl for what he had said. I knew that I'd been out for a while. "This is the seventh day since you passed out," he told me and my jaw dropped. I had thought that I'd been out for a day of two. Not a week. "When you passed out I had Michonne take care of you. When we got back to the prison you weren't breathing. Hershel got to you immediately and told us that you were dead. He wasn't willing to give up on you. He had to do CPR on you and got you hooked up to the machine. Hershel knew that we could keep you hydrated, but we had no way to feed you. A few more days and you would have died from hunger. There was no way to wake you up, we tried but nothing worked. Anyways, you stopped breathing two more times over the past few days but we saved you. Hershel didn't know if you would ever wake up so I was sitting here. This morning you seemed a little responsive and then you opened your eyes. Most of the people who were infected are doing better. A lot of people still died from it though. Glenn and Sasha made it though."
I nodded at him, trying to process what he had told me. I saw that his hand was sitting in his pocket, fiddling with something, but he removed his hand and grabbed mine. "I love you," he told me. I smiled and told him that I loved him as well before asking what everyone was doing today. Besides a pounding headache, I felt fine. And after a week of being asleep, I felt like I needed to get things done. "Rick just got back not too long ago, he went out with Carol. He asked if I could meet him. I've got a few things to fix up in the recovery room but then I'll head over there. He'll want to see you, everyone will. Hershel and Michonne are burying the bodies of the infected now."
My ears perked up as he told me that and I nodded at him. I sat up slowly and smiled as he helped me. I felt fine but my muscles were sore after not using them for so long. "Thanks," I told him as I moved to stand up. He helped me gain my balance, and after a moment I was able to push him away and stand on my own. "I'm gonna help them get to burying the bodies," I told Daryl.
His face immediately fell and he glared at me. "No Rain, you just woke up. There's no way in hell that I'm letting you go out there. The last thing we need is for you to get sick again," he said, worry thick in his voice.
"Daryl, "I'll be fine. I've already contracted the virus and I've gotten over it. The whole thing is like chicken pox. I had it and I beat it, now I'm immune to it. It's a better idea for me to be out there than anyone else who was lucky enough not to get it," I told him. He didn't look happy about the whole thing but he nodded anyways. "Trust me, I'll be careful. If anything happens to me I'll come back inside right away. I have to get out there and do something Daryl. I'm gonna go stir crazy if I sit in here and stare at the walls."
"Fine. But please, be careful. Take breaks, drink lots of water. And don't kill yourself trying to be the hero," he told me with his hand laying on my cheek. I smiled and leaned into him, kissing him lightly on the lips. He grabbed my head and pulled me closer and I let myself melt into him. It had been too long since we had been close like this.
I pulled away from him and smiled. "Yes dad," I teased. He laughed and let me walk out of the cell. I ran into Merle right off the bat and the man gave me a huge smile, pulling me into a bone crushing hug that lifted me off of the floor. I coughed as he constricted my lungs but laughed anyways. My stupid, lovely, family. "Hey Merle, missed me buddy?" I teasingly asked as he let me back onto the ground. I stumbled slightly but he grabbed my arm, keeping me steady.
"Well damn girl, it's good to see ya again. Should've seen everyone hanging around here lately. All walking around like they had lost part of their souls. It's already spread that you're up and at 'em again. That's why I was over here. Where's my little brother? I would have thought that he wouldn't let you out of his sights," Merle smirked at me.
Laughing, I punched him in the shoulder and smiled softly. "I've been laying around too long lately. I need to get up and do something. You know, feel like I'm good for something," I told the older Dixon and he nodded. "Anyways, I'm gonna go help burn the bodies of our dead, help out Michonne and Hershel. I'll see you later," I told the older man. He nodded and made his way past me, probably searching for his brother.
I walked into the cell that Daryl seemed to be living in once more, now that the sickness was taken care of. His things were all sat in the corner of the room and I smiled. How very Daryl. I grabbed my guns that were carefully laid on the table and strapped them onto me, along with my holster. My bow and quiver went on next, and my knives after that. Once I was satisfied I looked in the mirror that hung on the outside of the cell and realized that someone had changed my clothes. I was wearing a tight pair of dark blue jeans and a dark green tank top. My hair had been washed too, as it fell in soft waves down my back. Dear God, I needed a haircut soon.
Turning away from the mirror I felt my hair hit my arms as I made my way outside. I grabbed a hair tie on my desk before I walked out and pulled my hair into a ponytail. With all of the physical work that I would be doing today, I needed my hair to be out of my face. I walked out of the cell block, shocked that I hadn't run into anyone else. I saw the smoke rising in the distance though and I knew that it was where they were burning the bodies. Following the path down the prison yard, I reached the fence that Carl was manning.
Waving at the younger boy, he left his post and came running up to me. I smiled as he launched himself into my arms. I tried to steel myself in the ground, but he was heavier than I remembered and the two of us went tumbling to the ground. I laughed at the actions of the boy and stood, offering him a hand up. "Wow, I knew that you would all be sad if I died, but I didn't know that you would all miss me that much," I teased the younger boy.
He laughed and punched me on the arm. "We all missed you Rain. It was like something was missing without you here. The whole place seemed emptier, cold. I'm so glad you're OK, we all are. Especially Daryl. He was a wreck when you were out and you should have seen how devastated he was when you stopped breathing. He thought he had lost the thing that meant the most to him in this world," Carl told me. I was shocked at how bad my loss was, but I was proud that I meant so much to these people.
"Well damn guys, I'm harder to kill than that," I teased. Raising my right hand, I ruffled Carl's hair and laughed at his reaction. "Look kiddo, I'd love to talk but I need to help out there. Do me a favor and open the gate? Michonne, Hershel, and I will be back when we're done out there," I told the younger boy. He nodded and slid the door open and I walked out.
There were walkers that were crowding the area out, but I grabbed my knife and took them all down. Like most people, I used my anger to take them down and was out of breath by the time I did. Turning back, I saw that Carl had his gun raised just in case. I nodded to him, letting him know that I was OK. Sheathing my knife, I walked into the woods and grabbed my gun. There probably weren't any walkers around here, but it was better to be safe than sorry. I was about done with the death scares for a while. Not that I didn't enjoy my miraculous recoveries, but I was ready to live a somewhat normal life. Well, as normal as we could make it.
I could hear the soft laughter of Michonne and Hershel and I smiled. Stepping into the area where they were burning the bodies, I called to them. They watched as I came into view and the pair of them both smiled. Michonne walked forward and pulled me into a tight hug. I smiled at the woman as I pulled away and thanked her. She was probably half of the reason that I was alive right now. Hershel hobbled forward after that and hugged me tightly. The man asked if I needed to be looked over but I refused. I felt fine. But I was sure that no matter how much I begged that I was fine, Hershel would make me do a checkup to make sure that there were no underlying injuries.
Grabbing the body of one of old group members, I threw it into the pile. There must have been thirty people here, at the least. Body after body we piled onto the fire and the whole time I had to resist any sorrow for these people. They could have been me, and I could have been them. Like Daryl had said, I had died three times and had been brought back by my group members. Who got to be saved three times? Not many people, I had just been lucky. It seemed that I had gotten pretty lucky quite a few times. I couldn't help but wonder when my luck would run out.
"You know Rain," Hershel began and I looked up at the older man. "I took care of many animals throughout the years, and I always thought that cats survived the most amazing. They really do have nine lives. But now, I'm not sure if they can even pale in comparison to you. You've survived more than I ever thought was possible for a human to survive. And with this medicine that we are limited to, well someone up there clearly is rooting for you," Hershel said to me.
"Thank you Hershel," I told the man as I stepped back and watched the flames cook the bodies of the people that I had once shared food, and lives with. Now they were nothing more than smoldering ash. It was a sad ending to a hard life.
"I don't know," Michonne began, startling me out of my thoughts. "Are you sure that she's a cat. I thought that she might be a dog judging by the way that she can be a real-"
Clamping my hand over her mouth I laughed as she pushed me off of her. "Shut the hell up Michonne!" I cried at the woman. It had been obvious where she was going with that. She laughed as the two of us straightened up and I couldn't help but to laugh as well. To my shock even Hershel joined in the laughter. I threw a pack of matches at the woman as the laughter died down. She dropped to the ground to grab the matches that had spilled in the grass and I laughed.
I turned back and began to collect the tools. We were done with burning the bodies, so now it was time for us to go back. Maybe get a damn lunch, shit I was hungry. A twig snapped behind me and I raised my gun to shoot at the walker that was approaching us, but it wasn't a walker at all. It was the man that I should have killed the last time that I had seen him. My father. He was standing in front of me, looking alive and well. His glare was set on me and I knew that look. He was beyond furious and he was ready to kill. He motioned for both Hershel and I to drop our weapons, which we did. It was his people, at least ten, against our three. His men, people that I had never seen before grabbed my guns, knives, and bow along with my arrows. I struggled against them, but it was no use. They were stronger than me. The group tied the three of us and threw us into the back of a car, going God knows where.
I watched as the trees flew by, praying that Rick and Daryl would soon come to check on us and realize that we were no longer there. Damn it, I had just come back from death, and now I was being taken to slaughter. The drive wasn't long before we got to where they had set up a camp. The area was full of trailers and people that looked just like my own group. They looked like they were working hard to survive. The only thing was that they were all working on getting guns working and put together. I stared curiously at the odd group before realization struck me. Dear God, they weren't working on fighting walkers, they were working on bringing a second fight to us. And this time, we would have no warning. Not unless one of us could get out of here.
The cars pulled off to the side and quickly Michonne, Hershel, and I were dragged out of the cars. I grunted as I hit the gravel when the man that was pulling me out lost his grip on me. He laughed as my contorted face, and I kicked out at him. I managed to hook him in the skin and the man grunted, but I regretted it as soon as he lifted me onto my feet from my shirt. He brought my face up to his, and for a moment, I thought he might hit me. But my father laid a hand on the man's shoulders, and he begrudgingly released me.
As I hit the ground once more, I let out a deep breath of air. Glancing around the area I saw my father walk back where there were sheets hanging up. A pretty woman with a small child stepped out from behind the sheets, and both smiled at him. The woman walked up to my father, calling out his name. His real name. Brian. Had he really told these people his real name after he had let Andrea call him by his brother's name for all those months? I shook my head as the younger girl ran up to him and jumped into his arms. God, she looked just like Penny. That was probably what he thought too. Meghan, he called her. Were they his new family? Why did he love everyone but me? What was it that I did to make him hate me so much?
My father and his two women walked over, and the older woman stepped forward, looking over my friends and I. Her eyes stopped on my face, studying me for a moment. I stared back at her, hoping that the realization would hit her. But she just stared at me, as if she had known me from some past life. I glanced over to my father and it was obvious that he didn't want her speaking to us. Too bad, asshole. Even if I got beaten half to death, she deserved to know what type of monster he was. "What's going on, Brian? Who are these people?" The girl asked.
Cutting my father off before he could give some bullshit answer, I glared at the woman and gave her a smile that was so sharp it could have cut the tension. "We're some members of a rival group. Members who have done nothing to this man, but give him what he deserves. How he lost that eye? This woman," I started, motioning over to Michonne. "She stabbed it out because he tried to kill her. And why did he try to kill her? Because she didn't trust him, and she was right not to. He attacked us, killed our people, nearly raped one of my best friends, and damn near killed me. Not just in this world though. In the one before. Yes, his name is Brian Blake. But my name is Rain Blake." I saw the realization set in her eyes and I nodded. "Yeah, didn't know that he still had one daughter left, did you? Well, he does. And what does this man do to his daughter? He tried to kill the man that I love, he tried to kill the new family that I've found, and he tried to kill me. Before all of this even, he was nothing but a lowlife, abusive, drunk, piece of-"
I felt the hard hit that came to my gut, and I dropped onto the ground. I had thought that my father had been the one to hit me, but of course it hadn't been. He wasn't willing to hurt me in front of all these people. Not the people who thought that he was the greatest gift that they had ever seen. There was a girl with dark brown hair in the background that looked like she actually felt sorry for me. The rest of the people just looked like they were angry. I coughed and saw that a tiny bit of blood had come up. "Mitch, get away from her!" The woman that was with my father yelled.
Mitch didn't let me go though, he merely shoved her away. "Lily, take Meghan and get back to the RV. I'll come and see you both before it's time for us to leave," my father told her. She didn't move though, so my father had his men bring us to what I assumed was his RV. Mitch dragged me into the RV and threw me down into a chair. As I hit the seat and Mitch went to untying my hands, I swatted at him once he had done so. I knew that he wanted to hit me once more, but with my father standing right behind him, I figured that he wasn't willing to act out again. He had been lucky that my father hadn't done anything the first time that he had hit me. He probably wouldn't be so lucky a second time.
"Don't touch me," Michonne growled at my father as he went to untying her bounds. Still though, she fought and twisted with every tiny touch that he gave her.
I knew that my father wanted to hit her, but he wasn't willing to look like a horrible man again. Maybe he was trying to have a new look at life. Was he really trying to change for Lily and Meghan? No matter if he was, but why couldn't he have changed when he still had his real family? "Stay still," he growled at her as he untied the last knot on her bounds.
"Get off me," she growled once more as he slid the ropes off of her wrist. He then undid Hershel's bounds, and the old man complied easily. My father made his way over to me last and I could tell that he was pulling the bounds off of me harder than was really necessary. As he slipped the ropes off of my wrists, I shook my hands free and gathered them together.
My father shut the door of the RV, separating him from the rest of his people. Clearly he trusted us more than he should. He walked over to a small cooler that was set in the corner and grabbed an energy bar out of it. He walked over to where we were seated and tried to hand it to Hershel, who denied the bar. He tried with Michonne next, but she only stared angrily at him. He looked to me for a moment, but didn't bother trying to hand it off to me. Instead he looked back at Hershel and shook his head. "You should eat. It's gonna be a long day. Nobody's gonna hurt you," he told us with a soft voice. Softer than I had heard from him in a long time.
Michonne glared at him for a moment before shifting in her seat. Her katana was sitting in the corner of the RV and I knew that she was looking for a way to get it back in my hands. But she had my father in the way, and I knew that he wasn't willing to hand the thing over. "I don't believe that," she growled at him.
"Well, I don't care," my father snapped at her. He was trying to be nice to the three of us, but she put him on edge. I was sure that I did too, but he was ignoring my existence as much as he could.
The RV was silent for a moment before Hershel shifted himself forward in his chair. My father was watching him closely, but I knew that out of any of us, Hershel was the least likely to use violence. Michonne was probably the most likely, and then me. But that was only because I wanted him to know the pain that I felt from him every day growing up. "Just tell us what this is. Please," Hershel begged my father. I knew what it was, it was so that he had hostages when he came to the prison. Hostages that meant something to the people that remained. Maybe he would go and get sick, and die from it. I'd see him in hell at least.
My father sat in his seat for a moment, leaned forward and facing Hershel. "It isn't personal," he told the older man softly. Bullshit, this was all because of his feuding with Michonne, Rick, and I. We were all the reasons that once more, my father was a threat. I had thought that we were rid of him, but I suppose that it was a foolish thought.
"Then what is it?" Hershel asked.
My father ignored him and turned to Michonne with a look that was almost equivalent to forgiveness. But that wasn't a thing that he knew. He could recognize where he was wrong, but he would never apologize. "Michonne, I want you to know Penny, my daughter, she was dead. I know that now," my father said. A pang of sorrow hit me. Had I not left, had I been stronger and stayed, I could have saved her. I could have had a sister. I could have had a real family. But I had been too late, and Penny was only a memory now. "Now, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone. I need the prison, that's it. There are people I need to keep alive. You three are gonna help me take it. No one needs to die," he told me.
There's a fat chance in hell that I would ever help him take the place that I now called home. He was a liar too, he wouldn't leave any of us alive. He would kill everyone there, and leave Rick, Daryl, Merle, Michonne, and myself for last. He would kill Michonne slowly, and Merle as well. Then he would leave Rick and I in a corner, watch the devastation that he caused. Daryl would be last, and he would kill him right in front of me. No. No way. There was no way that I would ever let him hurt my real family. I leaned into the man that was once my father, and glared darkly at him. "I'm gonna kill you," I snarled.
My father leaned back into me so fast that I backed away from him in fear that he might hit me. Instead, he got into my face and I was filled with the same fear that I had always felt growing up. In that moment, I was the same little girl who was terrified to ever make a wrong move. "No, you won't. I'm gonna take my-" my father began before Hershel cut him off.
"Stop it. You want the prison?" He asked my father. Hershel was playing the peacekeeper right now and it was something that I had never been more grateful for. He had taken the attention off of me so that I could calm myself down.
My father looked slightly taken aback that Hershel had spoken without being spoken to, but he quickly recovered. My father nodded at him and took a deep breath. "Yeah. And I'll take it as peacefully as I can," he told the older man.
"Governor-" Hershel began before my father cut him off.
My father shook his head and held his hand up to Hershel. "Don't call me that," he said lowly. I was shocked at my father. I had always thought that he liked his people, and others, calling him that. I had thought that it made him feel like he was in a spot of importance. Why was it now that he was uncomfortable with that name? It was the only thing that my people had ever called him. Only I had ever called him by a different name, and that was in a different life now.
It seemed that I wasn't the only one who had thought that the name change was different. Michonne and Hershel both looked thrown by the new found dislike of the name. Still, Hershel managed to keep the conversation focused on the matter at hand. "Your people, our people, we can find a way to live together," Hershel said. My eyes widened in shock and I almost shook my head. There was no way that I would share a space with my father again. I hadn't lived with him in nearly a decade. And if I ever saw Mitch out in the open, I'd put an arrow between his eyes. It would never work, all of us together. "These people you need to keep alive, do you love them?" Hershel asked politely.
My father smiled at Hershel, and for a moment I thought I saw admiration in his eyes. I had only met my grandfather once that I could recall, but from what I knew, he was a wonderful man. In many ways, he was the same as Hershel. Maybe my father saw it too. "You're a good man, Hershel. A better man than Rick," he said. It might be true, but Hershel was better than all of us.
He had hit his low point before the shit had hit the fan, so he knew how to take care of things. He was older and he was wiser. The rest of us, we were young and we were angry. I knew Michonne had lost something, but I wasn't sure what. No matter what it was, it had been important to her. Merle and Daryl had grown up without a mother, and abusive ass of a father. I had grown up on my own, spent time in prison for something that wasn't my fault, and now my father was back and ready to kill me. Carol had lived with an abusive husband and had lost her daughter. Maggie and Beth had both lost their family, and Beth had lost two important men to her. Glenn was alone in this world before he met us. Rick had lost his wife, who had betrayed him before her death, and he had been forced to kill his best friend. Carl had been forced to grow up too fast, and he had lost his mother. Sasha had nearly died, and Tyreese had lost the woman he loved to a brutal murder. Bob was a recovering alcoholic whose need for a bottle had killed a group member. We were all broken, but we were all working to fix ourselves. Slowly but surely, we were healing. And we were doing it together.
My father sat for a moment, lost in his own thoughts while I was lost in mine. But finally he spoke once more, startling me out of my thoughts. I glanced up, wondering where this was going to go from here. "Everything you've said, the way you've said it, you've changed. So has Rick. The two of us will never be able to live together," my father admitted. He was right. No matter how hard we would all try, there was too much bad blood between us all. "Michonne and I, we'll never be able to live together. My daughter and I, we can't be together. We tried that once before." I wanted to scream at him and tell him that I loved him. For years I suffered through his drunken rampages, and I had still loved him. He had been the one that had finally broken my love for him. He was the reason that I had never learned how to love. But he was also the reason that I had fallen in love with Daryl. Broken souls truly were drawn to each other. It was the only thing that I would ever be able to thank him for.
"We'll find a way," Hershel tried one more.
Everyone went silent for a moment, but it seemed that my father was done thinking about the offer. "I found a way!" He yelled and I jumped at the volume increase. It wasn't too often that I was easily startled, but after so long of living with my father, his voice was one that always brought a chill to my bones and made me shake. "I'm trying hard. There's all kinds of ways I could do this. This way, you get to live and I get to be-" my father started before Hershel cut him off.
"You say you want to take this prison as peacefully as possible. That means you'd be willing to hurt people to get it. My daughters would be there. That's who you'd be hurting. Your daughter too. She's right here," Hershel said, looking my father dead in the eyes. Hershel laid a hand on my leg and I smiled at him. He always knew what to say. Hopefully this was exactly what my father needed to hear. Not only would he be killing his own daughter, but he would be killing other people's as well. "I know that the two of you haven't always gotten along, but she is your family and no matter what, she's the only family that you have left. If you understand what it's like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else's?" Hershel asked, emotions clouding his eyes. He loved his daughters so much. I couldn't help but to be jealous of Beth and Maggie. They had family that treasured them, and that was something that I would never know.
For a moment, I thought that my father would actually realize that I was him. Part of me was him. His blood was the blood that ran through my veins. Would he really be able to kill someone that was his? His eyes glistened for a moment before his face hardened and he glared at me. "Because they aren't mine. She isn't my daughter. She's only a disappointment to everyone that she crosses paths with," he answered Hershel without the slightest hint of remorse.
Tears filled my eyes at the answer he gave. Some part of me, despite the part that hated him more than anything, desired to have him love me. He was still my father and I wanted him to see that everything I had ever done in life was to prove to him that I was worthy of being his daughter. I stood from the chair as he stood as well and shoved him back into the wall. "How dare you," I screamed as I threw a punch at the only good eye he had left.
He had seen it coming though as he brought his hand up and caught mine. I stared in shock as he glowered at me and shoved my fist back down. I went to sit down, but my father was angry with me, and I knew what was coming. He grabbed me by the strap of my shirt and threw me into the wall of the RV. I hit the wall with a thud and yelled at the pain that shot through my shoulder. He hit me once in the stomach before grabbing onto my hair and throwing me out of the RV.
I could hear Michonne and Hershel yelling for me, but it was no use. My father dragged me out into the yard where most of the residents were standing around, finishing up getting ready to leave. My father dropped his hand from my hair and tripped me, and I landed on the ground. The girl that had caught my eyes earlier was looking at me like she was about ready to pick me up. But one sharp look from my father kept her in line. My father yelled out for Mitch, who quickly came to our side. He whispered something into Mitch's ear and the man nodded. Mitch pulled me up on my feet and I figured that we were going into a separate RV. As he grabbed my arm, he led me to another RV, which I assumed was his. He threw me inside and I fell to the floor.
Waiting for him to leave me, he finally shut the door, but with himself still inside. "Want to know what your daddy told me?" He asked me in his thick southern accent. It wasn't the type that Daryl had though, surly and tough, his was scratchy and smoke filled. I stared at him, waiting for him to tell me. I knew that it didn't matter if I wanted him to tell me or not, I knew that he would. "Boy you did something to piss him off girl. He told me that we have ten minutes before we leave, to take that place that used to be your home. Told me to take you in here and rough you up. Make sure that when your people looked at you they would know that we mean business. And you know what else? He said to do it with any means necessary."
The sleazy smile made my face drop in shock. Not this, not again. The first time it had been Martinez, and now it was Mitch. It seemed that I didn't have very good luck with men whose names started with M's. Martinez advanced towards me and I backed away from him. I knew where he was going just from the look in his eyes. "Haven't seen a piece of ass like you in a long time. Hear you've got a little hick back at the prison waiting for you. Well darling, let's show you how a real man does it," he smiled at me. I jumped back as he grabbed me around my waist. I flailed madly at him, hoping that I would hit him hard enough, and he would drop me. But nothing that I did worked.
I slashed out at his face as he got me to face him and he howled as my nails raked down his face. He growled as he faced me and hit me, hard in the face. I screamed as my nose crunched as he let me drop. I hit the ground and my eyes swirled. Despite my brief loss of vision though, I saw Mitch undo his belt. My eyes filled with tears as he approached me and grabbed my shirt. I threw a punch at his chest, but it did nothing. He grabbed my shirt and tore it down the front. The weak material split and it left my chest and stomach bared. He easily threw the tor shirt off of my shoulders and smirked as he pulled his belt off.
Once more, I tried to grab for my shirt, but it was no use. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me behind the ear. It was something that I loved when Daryl did, but now it only made my skin crawl. "Keep fighting it, it'll only feel better," he told me as he grabbed my pants and yanked at them. They were so tight that they didn't budge and I thanked whoever had redressed me.
"Please, let me go. Don't do this," I begged. I was brought back to the first night that I had spent in prison and the many more after that. He only laughed louder and tugged at the button to my jeans. I squirmed out of his arms and cried out as he grabbed my ankle. I hit the ground hard and cried out as he grabbed the button on my pants and they popped open. All I had to do was make it for another seven or so minutes. I could do it. I kicked out at Mitch as he grabbed my pants and yanked them down my ankles.
He was much more determined than Martinez had been. But Martinez had been interrupted. I knew that there was no saving me from this man. Not this time. I tried to get up and run to the door, but it was useless, it was locked with a deadbolt that I couldn't open. Mitch grabbed my ankle and pulled me down. On my fall, I hit the door with my forehead and my entire world went spinning. When I came back too, Mitch had his pants off and was working on his boxers. I cried out loudly as he grabbed me and pulled the underwear that I was wearing off. Just before Mitch could get to me, there was a loud bang at the door. It was my father yelling that Mitch only had two minutes.
He laughed and pushed me onto the ground. "All the time that I need," he growled at me and pushed me down. The entire time I begged and screamed for him to stop, so loud that I was sure that I had half deafened him. But he only hit me, time after time. Finally he pulled away from me and I heard him end his hunger in the corner. I fell to the ground, drained and dirty. What had just happened to me? What would I tell Daryl? That was, if I ever saw him again.
I heard the bang at the door, my father was yelling in to tell Mitch that it was time to go. Laughing as he stood and did up his buttons, he tossed me my ripped clothes and told me that he would wait outside. I slid my underwear back into place, shaking the entire time. Crying, I pulled on my stretched out pants and redid the button. They were ripped on the knees and thighs from Mitch tugging at them. I straightened out my bra as well and stared at the ripped shirt. There was almost no point in putting in on, but I felt like I needed to. I grabbed the torn shirt and slipped it on like it was a vest.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I stood and walked out of the door. Mitch grabbed me immediately and flung me into the back of a car. I saw my father walk by the window and as he looked at me, I saw what was almost a brief flash of sympathy. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. In that moment, I vowed to kill him, no matter if it cost me my life or not. The same girl that I had now seen twice looked like her heart was breaking for me, but I didn't want the sympathy. I looked away from her and stared at my feet. Michonne was thrown into one side of the car after that, and Hershel on the other.
Both looked at me with wide eyes and I shook my head. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to find my family. I wanted to get back to the prison and I wanted to lay in the dark cell by myself. I just wanted to know that I was safe. The convoy started driving and I stared in shock at all of the cars. There were so many people that were coming along. They would outnumber us without a doubt. But we wouldn't lose. We had the will to live. We drove in utter silence and when we finally reached the prison I sucked in a breath. They had a tank. Mitch was driving the tank. I would get my revenge on him.
Without warning he took the tank and blew the south tower down. I jumped at the explosion and I nearly screamed. That was one of our only defenses. And with one blow it was gone. I couldn't see up into the yard well, but I saw the tops of a few heads. None looked like Daryl yet though. The doors were open as people came out, and I listened to the yells of my family. There were people that were running everywhere, and finally my father got out of his car.
"Rick! Come down here. We need to talk," my father yelled up to our once leader. The world outside was silent as the doors shut to our car, but after a moment, I saw the top of Rick's head. He was still behind the fence though, probably for some form of protection. God, he had no idea we were with them. Him, and everyone else, thought that we were still burning the bodies.
There was a long pause before I heard the response from Rick. He sounded devastated, and I was sure that he was. He thought that my father was gone, he thought that he was safe. But we were never safe. I knew that now. "It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place," Rick responded to my father.
"Is Hershel on the council?" My father asked as the older man was pulled from the car and forced onto his knees next to my father. "What about Michonne? She on the council, too?" He asked as she was pulled out and forced into the same position. "How about my daughter, Rain? Her too?" He asked and I was pulled out of the car. I looked horrible compared to the other two. I was forced onto my knees in front of my father, who held me in place by my hair. My hands were bound once more, so I really had no way of moving anyways. Rick's face was full of shock and fury as he looked me over. I was battered and bruised, with torn clothes. I looked like I had just been through a battle. I looked up and saw that all of my group members were watching us with intent eyes, but all were focused on me. Daryl's eyes finally caught mine, and I saw everything. The love, the hate, the fury, the sadness. Even from all the way over here, I could see the white knuckled grip that he had on the fence as he watched us.
My head hung lowly, but I still heard the pain in Rick's voice as he watched the three of us. "I don't make decisions anymore," he told my father, clearly hoping that he would leave us alone.
"You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's- Let's have that talk," my father asked Rick. He finally walked down to the final fence that we had and he shook his head at my father. I could tell that he was looking over all of the people that my father had brought and he was weighing his chances. Soon he would know that my father had the clear advantage.
Rick shook his head at my father and motioned to us. "Let 'em go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages," he told my father. Well, at least someone here was being reasonable. But my father had us down here so he had real leverage. He could destroy the prison but we would find a new home. If he killed us, well there was no way getting us back.
My father shook his head for a moment and looked to the three of us. "I do. This is just to show you I'm serious," he said, grabbing my hair and pulling me up even farther. I let out a squeak of pain and Daryl looked like he was about to explode. "Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die," he growled. I tried to kick back at my father but he only stepped down on my ankle. I bit my tongue and felt blood from how hard I had bit down.
"Doesn't have to go down this way," Rick pleaded with my father. I saw the sorrow in his eyes. He knew that he wasn't coming out of this with everyone that went into it. Blood would be spilled today, we just had to pray that it was them.
My father shrugged his shoulders like he couldn't have cared less what was going to happen to us. I couldn't understand how one person could so blatantly ignore the life of his child. I know that he doesn't like me, but how could he not care at all if I died? "I got more people, more firepower. We need this prison," my father told Rick.
"There it is," Rick snarled, the sorrow being replaced by pure seething anger.
Shaking his head at Rick, I knew that he was getting impatient about the whole thing. It was my father, he was ready to pull the trigger, start a war. But if he wanted Lily and Meghan to have a happy life and be his new family, he would have to handle this like a diplomat. "It's not about the past. It's about right now," my father yelled back up to Rick and to the rest of my group.
With tears in his eyes, Rick motioned back to the prison and looked like he was ready to plead with my father. "There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't survive. Your daughter was one of the sick. She nearly died and you're holding her there like you're about to take the life that she's fought so hard for," Rick begged. I smiled at the man, thanking him for what he had said. But my father didn't want to hear it. He placed the barrel of his gun on my temple and I took in a deep breath. Daryl tightened up from behind the fences, and I could tell that he was about ready to pull the trigger and blast a hole in my father's head.
My father merely smiled as he dug the gun into the side of my temple. My head was pounding and I nearly passed out from the pressure. But I forced myself to stay awake. "I have a tank. And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about? I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you," my father stated like it was the simplest thing that he had ever told anyone.
"Doesn't have to be like that," Rick pleaded.
My father once more shook his head, acting like this was all nothing. But it wasn't nothing, no matter what happened here, people would die today. "Like I said, it's your choice. Noise will only draw more of them over. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get out of here. You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing," my father growled. I remembered at one point my father had wanted me with him, but now he only wanted me dead. I was a piece of filth that only was a burden to him.
Rick's eyes were still watering and I knew that his pleading was desperate. His son and infant daughter were here and he would do anything to protect them. He loved them. Just as he loved the rest of us. We were all family, and we weren't willing to part with a single member. "We can all- we can all live together. There's enough room for all of us. More than enough," Rick pleaded. I shook my head at him but I knew that it wouldn't work. He was just scratching at options. If we really worked at it, it might actually work. But my father wasn't willing for a compromise. He wanted total surrender.
"But I don't think my family would sleep well knowing that you were under the same roof," my father said. I looked up at him and he only dug his hands deeper into my hair. I wasn't his family. Lily and Meghan were. I had never been his family. Penny and my mother were the only family he had ever had.
Rick shook his head and pointed to the cell blocks. "We'd live in different cell blocks. We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready. It could work. You know it could," Rick told my father. Exactly, leave him and the rest of his people. Hopefully they'll die of the sickness. And then both he and Mitch would rot in hell.
My father seemed to think on it for a moment before shaking his head. "It could've. But it can't. Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea. Not after my daughter," my father said looking down at me. He loosened his grip on my hair and for a moment I thought that he would let me go. But that wasn't the way that it went. He gripped my hair even tighter than before and he pulled up. I could feel my hair ripping out and I yelped at the pain.
With hope in his glistening eyes, I heard Rick make his last plea. "Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice," Rick said to my father.
"We don't. You do," my father snarled.
Standing his ground and showing his backbone, Rick shook his head and let his hand dangle down to his gun. "We're not leaving. You try and force us, we'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can," our former leader said. I smiled at Rick that was the man who had been our leader. That was why we had followed him.
"We'll fix the damn fences," my father snarled once more.
Rick's eyes blazed with fury and he pointed back into the crowd that my father had brought. "No! You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want?" He asked. As my father turned back, I did as well and I glanced back. It was the same girl who had been looking at me with pity before. She looked even worse now that she was here. She didn't want this, but she was too afraid to say no. I knew how that felt. "Is this what any of you want?" Rick yelled to the rest of the crowd.
Laughing, my father shrugged his shoulders. Nothing that Rick was saying was fazing him, and I knew that our former leader was getting more and more fed up with it. "What we want is what you got. Period," my father said simply.
"Time for you to leave, asshole," I heard Mitch yell behind me. I growled and waited for Rick to say something else, but it was Mitch who continued to talk. I turned as far as I could and watched as his eyes scanned the crowd up at the fence. They finally stopped and a smirk fell on his face. I looked back up and saw that it was Daryl that he was locked onto. "By the way, up there! This is your girl, right?" Mitch asked Daryl, who remained still. "Yeah, good choice. She's a hot lay. Fights like a damn Bronco, but damn it felt good to break her," Mitch called to Daryl. I dropped my head in shame as the looks from my friends all turned to horror.
I glanced back up long enough to see Daryl's eyes go black. I had never seen him that angry. "If I ever see you, I'll fucking kill you! You'll regret ever even looking at her!" Daryl howled. Maggie grabbed his arm and whispered something in his ear. He calmed down a bit, but I could tell that he was still seething.
"You better watch that none of us ever get our hands on you," Rick growled at Mitch. I turned back and saw that he laughed and winked at me. "Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates you're one of us," Rick said. Seething himself, my father threw me to the side and grabbed Hershel. He pulled Michonne's sword out of the back of the truck and held it to Hershel's throat. I watched the man with horror in my eyes, but he wasn't afraid. Instead he was looking at Rick with pride in his eyes. "We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change," Rick said. I smiled at the man, knowing that he was stronger now than he had ever been. He had come so far from the broken man that had lost his wife. And I was proud of him, we all were.
"Liar," my father hissed so low that I almost missed it. Without warning, he lifted the sword and drew it back down across Hershel's neck. I screamed at the top of my lungs as Hershel fell to the ground, barely moving. What just happened? There were shots coming from all around and screams that were even louder. I heard the chains of the tank begin to move and I threw myself out of the way. I fell to the ground once more and grunted at the impact. Dashing around to the side of the truck that I had been left in, I leaned onto the hitch and managed to break the binds around my wrist. I jumped into the car and grabbed my weapons. My guns, my bow and arrows, and my knives. I saw that my father was running away from the scene, clutching his arm, but I wasn't willing to let him get away with this.
Running in a full sprint, I pulled out a knife and threw it at my father. The knife had just barely skimmed by him and I grunted. I had come so close to hitting him, but I had missed. Growling once more, I sped up and caught him. Jumping onto his back, my weight threw him off balance and the two of us went tumbling to the ground. He tried to flip me over so that I was on the bottom, but I had a tight grip on his legs and I managed to keep him under me.
Hit after hit I rained down on him and he grunted. He got a few good hits on me, but it didn't matter. I wasn't feeling pain right now, I just felt anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. He was going to die. I was going to kill him for what he had let Mitch do to me, what he had met Martinez do to me, and for what he had done to Hershel. This was all for the old man that was better than all of the rest of us. "Fuck you!" I yelled as I hit his nose so hard that it broke under my fist. "This was you, all of this! How could you do something like this to your daughter?! I love the people here and you took them from me! You're nothing! And you deserve what's going to happen to you!" I yelled to him.
There were tears in my eyes and falling down onto my father's face. I hated him and everything that he had ever done. He deserved to die. Just as I reached for my knife, I felt a heavy weight hit me and I was thrown off of my father by a woman that I had seen standing next to my father. It wasn't Lily though, I had no idea who she was. She turned her gun to me and I grabbed the barrel, forcing it up. She let a shot off and I yelped at how hot the barrel was. Dropping my hand from it, I punched her and fell onto her. I grabbed a knife from my pack and jammed it into her throat. Blood ran over the knife and onto my hand as I grabbed the knife and ran up to the destroyed fences.
Walkers were already pouring in with the fences down. No matter what happened today, it didn't matter. We would have to get out of here. We couldn't rebuild the fences. There was no way. I took out two walkers that came close to me and I stepped over the body of one of my father's men. I saw that the tank was up on the top of the prison walk and I made my way over. Running full speed I saw that the tank blew up and I stopped dead in my tracks. Serves you right asshole. I hope that killed you. I heard a shot go off behind me and I felt a bullet brush by my head. I turned back and saw a man that had been with my father and his men.
That had almost killed me. Pulling out my gun, I shot at him but missed. He dodged each bullet that I fired and just as he got within a few feet of me, I shot at him. But my gun clicked and I screamed. How could I be out of bullets now?! The man ran up to me and tackled me onto the ground. I grunted as my back made impact with the ground and I spit out blood. "I don't blame Mitch, girl. A real beauty that Brian made huh? C'mon girl, don't fight, we can have some fun before I kill you," the man smiled at me. I screamed as he wrestled my gun from me and grabbed my pants. Not again. Not this.
I hurled my fist into his face and he reeled back, yelling at the top of his lungs. He took his fist and grabbed my hair, smashing my head onto the ground. I grunted at the impact and watched as he raised his gun. He smirked at me and laughed. "Yeah, I saw that shiner you gave Mitch. You put up a good fight girl. But that's OK. Wounded is fine with me," he said. I cocked my head to the side and right as I went to punch him again, he pushed the gun to my hip and pulled the trigger.
Screaming, I cried out in pain at the wound. The man threw me to the side and sat in front of me. He pushed my head into the gravel as he dug his finger into the wound. Tears were streaming down my face and I knew that I was bleeding all over. My head from the hard hits that I had taken, my hip from the wound, and the side of my face. The man laughed as he tugged at his belt, and for the first time since I was a young child, I wanted to die.
He leaned down onto me and pressed his mouth onto mine. I screamed into his mouth and bit down on his lip. I felt the blood, but he only laughed. He pulled away from me and pushed me down, but right as he leaned over me, blood splattered over my face. I screamed as his body dropped limp onto mine. Someone had shot him. Someone had saved me. But was it someone that I wanted to be here, or was it one of my father's surviving men.
The man's body was thrown off of me and I yelled. It was Merle. Thank God. "Merle!" I yelled as he grabbed me and pulled me into him. I hugged him tightly and cried into his shoulder. As much as I wanted to stay in his embrace though, I had to get to Daryl. I had to know that he was alive. "Have you seen Daryl?!" I asked Merle.
He let me fall away from him slightly and I glanced at him worriedly. He nodded at me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I just ran into him, he's fine girl. Killed that bastard that with the tank." My eyes brightened as I realized that Mitch was dead. And Daryl had been the one to kill him "He had the younger of Hershel's daughter with him the last time that I saw them. But they're all the way up by the cars," Merle told me. Beth, he had Beth with him.
Merle was right, the cars were a long way away, but we would be able to get to them if we hurried. "We have to get to him!" I yelled as I began to run. But just as I took my first step, I fell onto my knees, howling in pain. Merle helped me back up and looked at my leg in shock.
He shook his head as he pulled my arm over his shoulders. "It's too late, walkers are covering that area. We have to get the hell out of here! C'mon girl! We both want to find him, and we will but we have to go, now!" He yelled at me. I nodded and limped with him away from the prison. I wanted to get to Daryl, but Merle was right. We had to get out of here for now. It wasn't safe here right now. We could come back and regroup later.
We began to limp off into the woods, but right before we broke the wood line, I glanced back at the prison. Merle stopped and looked back too as we bade our home goodbye. It was gone. The prison was in ruins and it was on fire. The fences were all down. Our towers were destroyed. There was nothing left for us here. We had to move on and leave. Like Daryl had said, sooner or later, we run. And it was our time to run. I could see Rick and Carl limping away, the elder looking half dead. I wanted to run to them, but they were going the opposite way. We wouldn't reach them. I could see Tyreese with Mica and Lizzie as well in the middle of the prison, making their way to the woods. The bus was leaving with the elder too, but it was going to completely opposite direction.
Sighing, I went to leave the prison once and for all, but right before I did, I saw my father laying on the ground, covered in blood. Lily was walking up to him with a gun, looking devastated. Merle began to walk away, but I poked him on the shoulder and pointed over to my father. We watched as Lily raised her gun, stared at my father for a moment, and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out, louder than life and I stood still, not wavering and not blinking. Good riddance, father. Burn in hell.
Lily tried to turn and leave but she was quickly overtaken by walkers. I sighed at her, grateful that she had killed my father, but sorry that walkers were the way that she met her end. I shook my head and turned away. I was limping badly as we walked through the woods but Merle grabbed me around the waist and helped me walk. We were all split up. No one was really together. No one had anything. None of us knew how we would get back together. We were all more broken than we had ever been. I had lost Daryl too. But I wasn't going to give up on him. Not ever. I would look for Daryl for as long as it took. Until the day that I died, I would search for him. Even if it killed me.
A/N: Well, there it is. Rain is the last surviving Blake! As you can see, I didn't kill her but there were some definite lows. I wanted this chapter to be a real low point for Rain, and I hope I made it that way. I hope the scene earlier with Mitch wasn't too offensive though! I just wanted to show a darker side of the new world, and I wanted Daryl to be shocked when he saw her. Unfortunately, they didn't get too much time together, but that will come. So the next chapter will feature only Rain and Merle, so I hope you guys like it! As always, thank you to ceres18, and TwinElis for the follows and favorites! Also a huge thank you to my reviewer's redangel12463, hayleyjune13, and my Guest! Also a HUGE thank you to Sevvus for your review. It really touched me. I actually started reading fanfiction when I was going through a tough time and it made my days so much better. I really started writing because one I felt better, I wanted to give other people that escape from reality. So this goes out to you and ALL of my other reader's. If you're ever going through a hard time or you just want to talk, I'm here! I promise I don't judge and I'm always willing to talk about even the most random of things. Anyways, that's the end of my rant so the next update should be soon! -A