Inter-Relay Text Chat

Location: Sur'Kesh

From: Kat

To: Zaeed

11:23 K: How upset would the salarians be if I... accidentally... killed the Dalatrass?

11:31 Z: Oh god. What the bloody hell did you do?

11:34 K: Nothing. Yet.

11:35 Z: Yet?

11:37 K: Just thinking of ways of keeping the peace on this damn ship. Shoving her out of the airlock seems the way to go.

11:40 Z: You're insane.

11:41 K: You just now noticed?

11:42 Z: Please tell me this suggestion is because you're drunk.

11:45 K: You have no idea how much I wish I was, but no. We're not sure why, but EDI hid all the booze, including James' tequila and all of the ryncol that Wrex brought with him.

11:46 K: Actually, I'm almost positive it was Jeff's idea.

11:47 K: Idiot. If he wasn't the only one I trusted to pilot my ship, I'd kill the bastard.

11:49 Z: What do you mean EDI hid it? You do remember she's an AI attached to a ship, right?

11:50 K: She's more than that now.

11:51 K: She took over Dr. Eva's body.

11:52 Z: The Cerberus bot from Mars?

11:55 K: One and the same. Wrecked havoc with the ship's systems trying to do it.

11:57 Z: You OK? Forgetting for the moment you started the goddamn conversation thinking about murder.

11:59 K: Not really. But there's not a damn thing I can do about it right now.

12:01 K: I'll talk to you later. We're heading down to get a bunch of female krogan.

12:02 Z: Be careful. I'll be back soon. I promise.

12:03 K: You better. Love you.

12:04 Z: Love you too.

12:04 User has disconnected.

By the time they'd rescued the one remaining female krogan left on Sur'Kesh, answered an emergency hail from Grissom Academy and diffused a bomb on Tuchanka, Kat and her crew were more than a little tired of Cerberus.

"Supposed to be fighting the damn Reapers," James grumbled as he, Kat and Garrus piled out of the Kodiak. "So sick of that fucking yellow and white armor."

"Well, maybe we'll get lucky," Garrus said, stowing his sniper rifle beside Kat's. "Maybe they won't find reason to interfere with curing the genophage."

"Yeah right. Lucky," Kat muttered. "When the fuck have we ever been lucky?"

Six hours later, they were limping back to the Normandy, battered, bruised and grieving for one of their own. While Cerberus hadn't directly interfered, the presence of the mother of all thresher maws had piled terrifying reminders of Akuze on top of the stresses of fighting Reapers and Kat knew she was lucky she'd even made it through in one piece.

When she connected with the Dalatrass to tell her of the mission's success despite her attempts to interfere, the salarian leader had little good to say about Mordin's sacrifice, calling it foolish and unnecessary.

Bitch better be glad she's not still on the ship or she would be making a trip out of the airlock, Kat thought to herself after she'd disconnected the call in disgust. She flat-out ignored the call from her father, leaving Garrus in charge for the night, while she went down to the shuttle bay to talk to James.

She wasn't at all surprised to find him playing cards with her shuttle pilot Cortez. It was just about all the two of them ever did in their spare time. She was surprised to find the area around them littered with beer bottles.

What the hell?

She winked and shook her head slightly when Cortez opened his mouth to say something to James, whose back was to the elevator.

"James Vega, where the hell did you find cerveza on this ship and when the hell were you going to tell me about it?" she barked as she quietly walked up behind him.

"Mierda! Commander, I thought you weren't allowed to sneak up on people like that anymore unless we're in a firefight!" James grumbled as he tried to recover from the near-heart attack she was sure she'd given him.

It was a full minute before Kat and Cortez were able to pick themselves up off the floor from laughing.

"I'm sorry James," she said, still holding her stomach as she leaned against the pillar by Cortez's terminal. "After the shit we've been through lately, and especially today, I really needed that. I am sorry it was at your expense though."

"'s fine." He shook his head, mumbling something she couldn't understand in Spanish before he tossed one of the beers to her. "As for the cerveza, that's thanks to your friend Kasumi. And your uncle."

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Explain."

"It was when we were on the Citadel, when we dropped off Jack and the kids from the Academy," James said. "Kasumi said something about owing you a favor for some job you helped her with a few months ago. Said it went all kinds of wrong before the end?"

"That's putting it mildly. I had to play arm candy to distract a sleazy weapons dealer who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself." Kat shuddered. "And then to top off a spectacular evening, I ended up temporarily blinded by a flash grenade to the face when we went to fight the son of a bitch." She shook her head after a moment. "You were saying?"

"Anyway, she snuck the booze onto the ship while everyone was distracted saying their good-byes to Jack's kids."

"Interesting. Kind of fitting, favor aside, since the lounge was her room when she was on the team. So. How's Jason fit into this besides providing said booze?"

James and Cortez exchanged a look.

"What?"

"Apparently he laid a massive guilt trip on Joker, about various topics, and then threatened to snap him in half if he ever decided to cut you off cold-turkey again."

Kat rolled her eyes as her head fell back against the pillar with a thunk. "Of course he did." She sighed with contentment as she twisted the cap off of her beer and flicked it at James. "Remind me to thank them both next time we're on the Citadel."