Chapter 38

A/N: I do hope that ya'll like this chapter!

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APOV

Waking up to the sun shining in my face I realize that I have slept the half the morning. It has been 3 days since I was released from the hospital. Gideon has been great since my release from the hospital. He hasn't pushed me but he has been here if I needed to talk, rant or just cry. There's so many emotions that I've been dealing with that I thank my lucky stars that this particular man is in my life.

The bed is empty. I remember Gideon being with me when I fell asleep but he's not here now and the apartment is eerily quiet. Looking over at the alarm clock it is 9:30 am and I suddenly have the urge to pee. I hurriedly try to get to the bathroom as best I can with a rather heavy cast on my foot but I will say the crutches do help with my balance and clumsiness. They slow me down but other than that they do help. I giggle to myself shaking my head. The weird things you think about first thing in the morning after a traumatic experience.

After using the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth I head back into my bedroom to find something to wear. Looking in the closet, I guess jeans are out. I'll never get them over this huge cast. Same for shorts, my cast won't fit through the legs. I settle on a pretty but comfortable blue peacock print maxi dress from with a belt detail from Forever 21 and a black cardigan with flip flops.

Hearing my stomach rumble I decide that I want to go to the bagel shop down the street for a fresh bagel and cream cheese and tea then depending out how long it takes me to get there I may try to go to Elliot Bay Park. I need to think and honestly the last time I felt like this the only place that helped was the park bench overlooking the water.

I grab a wristlet, come on my purse is too damn big to try to maneuver with the crutches. I transfer some cash, my ID and phone into it and leave my bedroom. As I get to the living room I notice Kate asleep on the couch. I wonder why she's there and not in her room? Ah well. Taking my keys from the bowl on the table by the front door and adding them to my wristlet I open the door and head out. Taking the elevator down and out the front door, I see gorgeous silver Bentley SUV parked in front of the building. A man gets out and walks around it and opens the door before I realize that the man is Angus and smile a small smile at him.

"Miss Steele. I can take you where ever you wish." He calmly states.

I realize this is Gideon's way. He knew left alone to my own devices today that I would try to wander and I did tell him that I would accept security. To be honest, if security means Angus then I'm ok with that. I rather like the older man who has been with Gideon for such a long time. But I know that Gideon will need to get back to New York and Angus will be going with him so I just hope that Gideon finds someone that I will like as much.

Still smiling, "Good morning Angus. I just wanted to go down to the marketplace, get a bagel for breakfast."

"Good morning ma'am. I can take you. On those things," he's pointing to my crutches, "it could take you 45 minutes to get there. And your arms will be sore."

I hadn't honestly thought about how my arms would feel. But I imagine he's probably right. "Okay. But after getting breakfast, I want to go over to the park and relax a bit."

He raises an eyebrow at me and just nods as he closes the door and stows my crutches behind the drivers seat, where I can reach them. I wonder where Gideon went this morning. I didn't see a note and my phone hasn't rang this morning at all. I really didn't think that he would just up and leave but... I know, I'll just ask.

"Angus?"

"Yes, Miss Steele." He looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"Do you happen to know where Gideon is this morning?"

He smiles a kindly smile at me, "Yes ma'am. He had a couple of meetings this morning. But left instructions that I am to be with you at all times."

I shake my head but I am smiling. I do like the fact that he is was still thinking about me this morning before he left. I am beginning to love his protective nature, more so because he shares with me how he feels about why he is and discusses with me options that would work and lets me make the final decision. It's more of a partnership and I like that.

"Thank you Angus. Though I have a feeling today could be rather boring for you."

"Ma'am it really is a pleasure. Don't worry about my being bored." There's a sparkle in the older man's eyes and a rather large smile when he says this. It's almost as if he knows something that don't but being Gideon's shadow I don't doubt that at all.

The drive to the bagel shop is short. Honestly its only about a 10 minute walk but he's right it would definitely have taken much longer on the crutches. Angus double parks and says that he will go in and get my breakfast.

"Don't be ridiculous Angus. I can go in. Why don't you find a place to legally park the car and come find me. I want to talk over to Elliot Park. Well hobble really but it's only a block over."

He gave me a speculative glance but nods his head. He does get out and opens my door and hands me my crutches. "I'll be right back Miss Steele. Please say here at the bistro until I am."

I nod, taking my crutches and moving inside as he pulls away.

I ordered my bagel and a hot tea and sat at a table waiting for them when Angus came back in but he just stays by the door. Seemingly not paying attention to anything but I know he's taking everything in. A waiter brings my breakfast over and after I've finished the bagel I decide its time to go over to the park. I wave Angus over. I think that I'm going to need help, pretty sure that I can't maneuver the crutches and carry my tea and I really don't want to leave it.

Angus walks with me over to Elliot Park carrying my tea. Once we get to "my" bench overlooking the water I thank the older man and sit. It's been awhile since I've been here and I forgot just how calming it is. Sipping my tea I start thinking over everything that has happened the past few days.

The Coping Together fundraiser; Christian kissing me and bidding outrageously. Gideon telling me he wanted a relationship; the car accident; finding out I'm pregnant; Christian telling me that he wanted me but not our baby then walking out; Elliot bringing him to my apartment and Christian telling me I'm their family. HA! That one pissed me off to no end.

I have so many conflicting emotions. I love Christian. I am carrying his baby. I would have loved nothing more than to hear that I was considered his family five weeks ago, but now after he walked out that door I don't want to hear it let alone believe it. His brother was standing right there. His brother that said he was going to kill him when he found out Christian left me in that hospital room alone.

I know that I can't trust Christian any longer. With my heart or anything else. He has already said that he doesn't want our little nugget, so how could I believe that he would consider me family. I have already come to the realization that Christian will never be a part of this baby's life and I will have to raise it by myself. Of course I have my amazing friends and my family. This baby will never want for love. He, or she, will have it in spades and for that I am extremely thankful.

I let out a deep breath. I know that I need to speak with Christian again. I need to let him know that he's off the hook. Let him know that he won't ever have to acknowledge his child. He can move on completely without worry. I'll let him go. No strings. I pick up my wristlet and take out my phone and start a text message when I notice my hand is shaking making it hard to compose the message. So I just take a deep breath and decide the dial him instead.

"Grey!" he barks as he answers. Damn he's in a bad mood.

"Christian?" Is that the sound of my voice. I sound like a mouse. So weak.

"Anastasia. What can I do for you?" He sounds so cold. Well time to get this over with.

"We need to talk Christian."

I hear him blow out a breath. I can imagine him running his hand through his hair. His voice changes to more soft as he says, "I know. Are you ready for that?"

Closing my eyes, "No. But its time so I'll have to deal. Can you meet me tomorrow, lunch?"

"I'm in Portland tomorrow. How about this evening? We can talk over dinner."

"Where?"

"The Fairmont. I'll pick you up at 7 pm."

"No Christian. No need. I can be there at 7 pm."

"Ana." Now he sounds exasperated. I just shake my head. He is not going to try to dictate to me.

"Don't. I'll meet you at the Fairmont at 7 pm Christian"

"Fine." Yep he's pissed. Oh well. I've been pissed for a few days now and hurt for a few weeks before that. He'll deal.

"See you then." I say just before I hang up.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder causing me to jump a bit. I look up and see Gideon standing behind me. I smile up at him as he looks down at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You were on the phone." He comes around and sits down next to me, taking my now cold tea and placing a new hot one in my hand.

It's these little things that I enjoy. Of course he spoke with Angus and knew where I was but he didn't have to stop for a new tea for me but he knows that I generally drink more of it when I'm stressed. And he has been all about reducing stress on me the last few days.

"Thanks. Christian." I know that I don't have to say more than that. He knows that this would be coming but I haven't told him that I fully intended to have this conversation before Gideon went back to New York. He's been my rock and I don't know how badly I will need him. How much Christian will end up beating me up, metaphorically speaking of course, about our situation.

He slowly nods his head but he's looking at the ground between his feet. "When are you meeting him?"

Still looking out at the horizon, "Tonight at 7 pm at the Fairmont."

"Well then, come. We have some things to finish up before you go."

"What?"

"You need to pick your new security. I have narrowed the qualified applicants down to three. But being that he will be your shadow, you need to get along with him. I figured that giving you last pick ..."

At his explanation, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him hard. I think I took him a little by surprise. He puts his hand on my waist and gently ends the kiss leaning back to look me in the eye. I can see the big question in his face.

"You didn't have to let me make the final choice Gideon. Thank you."

He smiles that smile that I love, the one dimple crooked smile that actually lights up his entire face. Leans down and kisses my nose. "Your welcome sweet girl. Let's go. They are waiting in a meeting room at my hotel."

He puts his hand out to help me to my feet, takes my tea with a comment about not wanting me to ruin such a pretty dress, hands me my crutches and we head back to the Bentley that Angus now has parked at the entrance to Elliot Park.