Authors Note: Thanks for all the reviews! I think i finally started to get my butt moving again so the updates will be back to normal! Thanks for sticking with me guys! You're awesome!

I do not own supernatural!

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Kill me?" Sam asked, his eyes welling up with tears. I could feel mine welling up as well. I couldn't kill Sam. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know" Dean replied, shaking his head.

"I mean, he must've had some kind of reason for saying it, right?" Sam asked, going nuts. "Did he know the demon's plans for me? Am I supposed to go dark-side or something? What else did he say, Dean?"

"Nothing" Dean stated. "That's it, I swear"

"How could you not have told us this?" I demanded, also freaking out. I couldn't kill my brother. I don't care if he did go dark side, I wouldn't kill him. I just wouldn't, screw this.

"Because he was dead and he begged me not to" Dean replied.

"Who cares?" Sam said. "Take some responsibility for yourself, Dean! You had no right to keep this from me!"

"You think I wanted this? Huh?" Dean asked, annoyed. "I wish to God he'd never opened his mouth! And I wouldn't have to walk around with this screaming in my head all day!"

There was a long, long pause, where none of us said anything. "We've just gotta figure out what's going on then, what the hell all this means"

"We do?" Dean asked. "I've been thinking about this, I think we should just lay low, you know? At least for a while. It'd be safer. And that way, I could make sure…"

"What? That I don't turn evil? That I don't turn into some kind of killer?" Sam asked.

"I never said that" Dean said, sternly.

"Jeez, if you're not careful, you will have to waste me one day, Dean" Sam said, with a scoff.

"I never said that!" Dean said again, louder this time. "Damn it, Sam, this whole thing is spinning out of control! You're immune to some weirdo demon virus, Lexie and you have powers coming out of the wazoo, and I don't even know what the hell anymore. And you're pissed at me, and I get it. That's fine, I deserve it. But we lay low until we figure out our next move, okay?"

"Forget it" Sam said, annoyed.

"Sam, please, man" Dean said, grabbing Dean's shoulder. "Hey, please. Just give me some time. Give me some time to think, okay, I'm begging you here. Please…please"

Sam slowly nodded, and then looked to me, and nodded at me as well. "Okay" he said, finally, and downed the rest of his beer.

"Okay" Dean said, and took a drink of his. We sat in silence for awhile, just looking out into the lake. I couldn't help but just think about Logan. Part of me wanted to run back, and tell him that this was a mistake. All of this had to be some messed up dream. My father didn't want me to eventually kill my brother, I didn't lose my first boyfriend, and I didn't want to start bawling my eyes out. I was fine.

"Let's get a room somewhere" Dean said, going back to the car.

"Can we drive?" I asked, coming out of my daze. "I want to move"

Sam and Dean both stared at me for a long moment, and then Dean nodded. He took the keys out of his pocket, and held them out to me. "You want to drive?"

I think my jaw dropped to the ground. "What?" I asked, in shock.

Dean shrugged. "I just thought maybe it would help you get your mind of stuff" he stated, jingling the keys.

I took the keys, and he opened the door for me. This may only be happening because I was upset, but I was fine with that for now. Dean let me drive sometimes, when we ran to the store or something. Sam got in the back, and lounged like I usually did. Dean sat passenger, and I started up the car.

I just drove for awhile. I let the car take me away, and focused on staying straight on the road. I hit the back roads, where we could just put the pedal to the metal and go. These were the times that I loved the most. Where it was nothing but me, and my family, and a long stretch of road. Lately it seemed that we were always heading somewhere fast. I missed driving aimlessly to some unknown destination.

"Hey" Dean said, smacking me on the arm. "Slow the hell down"

I took my foot off the gas pedal. I had been going really fast without even realizing it. "Sorry" I said, softly. "Got lost in the moment"

Dean looked back at Sam in the back seat. Sam was snoring softly, his long legs curled in. He barely fit back there. Dean looked to me. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"No" I scoffed, giving him an incredulous look. "Why would I even be close to okay?"

"I don't know" he said, with a shrug. "I guess I was just making sure you weren't going to do something stupid"

"Like what?" I asked my hands on the wheel. I let go slightly. I was unaware of how tight I was gripping it.

"I don't know"

"You don't know anything, do you?" I smirked. He glared at me. "I'm fine Dean"

He nodded, and I pulled off the road when he told me to. We grabbed a room, and hung out for the night. Sam was silent, and I just kept staring off into nothing. I kept thinking of Logan's hand in mine, and how it should be there right now. I knew we were over. I knew it was for the good of both of us. I really didn't want to go back to all the fighting. But I missed him, and that was that.

We all sort of headed into bed, and I slept on the couch, facing the wall. I wanted both of them to just sort of leave me alone. I couldn't pretend that I was okay anymore. I found tears pour down my face, and I couldn't stop them. They flowed down as Dean snored in his sleep.

I cried myself to sleep.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNPNSPNSPN

I woke up the next morning, my face still sticky and wet. I got up and got in the shower, hoping that I could wash this all down the drain. I wasn't going to think about Logan anymore. I refused to. We were over, so I could stop now. I stood under the water and then Dean pounded on the door. "What?" I yelled. "I haven't even been in here that long!"

"Did you see Sam?" he demanded.

I thought back to when I got out of bed. "No" I called back. I started to shampoo my hair. Sam had probably gone out to get coffee. He did that almost every morning. I don't know why Dean was freaking out. The door opened, and I jumped and covered myself. "Dean, what the hell do you think you're—"

"He's gone" he said, holding up a note.

I washed the shampoo out and then came out with the towel around me. I took the note, getting it wet. I read it carefully twice.

I went to go figure this out. Don't worry about me its better this way anyway. –Sam

I looked up at Dean in surprise. "He ditched us" I stated, shaking my head. "I can't believe him!"

Dean pushed me back towards the bathroom. "Get dressed and pack" he said.

"Why?" I asked, going to close the door. "We don't know where he went"

"We'll find out" he replied, in his do-what-I-say-or-else voice. I sighed and closed the door.

I dressed quickly and as soon as I walked out Dean threw my bag at me. I went to the Impala, and we started driving as Dean got out his phone. "Start calling" I said. "Anyone you can think of"

"Okay" I said, and went into the contacts. I called almost everyone I could think of. I called Bobby, Joshua, Ellen, and even some of Sam's friends that I knew he still talked to. I called Sam seven times, but got no answer. I tried tracking his phone, but he must have done something to not make me able to. He was good.

"No one knows a thing" I scoffed, throwing the phone down on the bench. "He's just disappeared"

"He's somewhere" Dean said, pulling off the side of the road. "He's got to be. He'll make a mistake" he said. "And then we'll be right back with him"

"Okay" I said, even though I really didn't believe him that much. We were going to find Sam when either Sam wanted to be found, or someone called to say that they had seen him. He was trained to disappear like my father. And he was the best.

Dean sighed, and then started to drive again after a moment. We were in silence, and I wasn't sure that Dean even knew where he was going. I think he was doing what I had been doing last night. Just driving and thinking.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

When Dean's phone rang the next day, I was praying to god it was Sammy. I was sick of looking for him and more annoyed than anything. Dean was mad that I wasn't freaking out about this like he was, but to be honest I just wanted to smack Sam upside the head. And I would do it even if I had to jump to reach his head the tall moron.

"Why won't you help?" Dean asked, as I watched him call person after person over and over. "Don't you care?"

"I care" I scoffed, sitting up. "But Sam's doing exactly what dad did. And if Sam wants to go on some fricking crusade then good for Sam" Dean just glared at me.

"Hello?" Dean said as he answered his phone.

"It's Ellen"

I jumped as I heard that, hoping that she had some sort of news of what was going on. "Hey, have you heard from Sam?" Dean asked her.

"I have, but…he made me promise not to tell you where he is" she replied.

"Come on, Ellen, please!" Dean pleaded. "Something bad could be going on here, and I swore I'd look after that kid"

"Now, Dean, they say you can't protect your loved ones forever" Ellen sighed. "Well, I say screw that. What else is family for? He's in Lafayette, Indiana"

"Thanks" Dean said, and snapped his phone shut. He looked at me. "So I know where he is if you care" he said, a slight smile of his face.

"Awesome" I sighed, and smiled back. I was relieved to know he was okay, but was still pissed. Whatever part of him that made him think that running off was okay was going to pay. "Go look up all his names in Lafayette"

"Gotcha" I said, and started to research it. It was a good thing that I knew all of Sam's aliases by heart or I would have trouble with this. I looked up everyone I could think of, and eventually got a hit on Jack Richman. "Found you" I smiled.

We started to drive in silence, and I longed to have someone to talk to. Logan ran through my head again for the millionth time already. I think I was thinking about him more now that we were over than when we were together. "Dean" I said, as we hit the highway towards Indiana. "When was the last time you really liked a girl?"

He looked at me funny. "Probably Cassie" he stated, getting where I was coming from. "Why?"

I choked back the tears. "When does it stop hurting?"

He looked back to where he was driving, and sighed. "Truth?" he asked, and I nodded, wiping the tears. "It doesn't"

"Oh" I said, and sniffled. I picked at my shoe, and tried to stop myself from thinking about it.

"You'll be okay" he said, patting me on the leg. "It's not like you were married to him. He was only you're first boyfriend. You never even had sex or anything like that"

I felt my face go red. "Uh-huh" I said, looking out the window. I was pretty sure I was freaking out on the outside. I kind of forgot that we never talked about that yet. Dean had no idea.

Dean looked over at me. "You didn't right?" he asked, glaring at me.

I nodded vigorously. "Uh-huh" I said again, still not looking at him. "At least not recently…" I added, under my breath.

"Oh my—you did!" he said, and hit his hands on the steering wheel. "You totally did it with him" I said nothing. I couldn't deny it. "When?" he said.

"Back when I ran off to Missouri's" I replied, my face going redder. "Dean could we not—"

"You had sex at a psychic's?" He shouted.

"No!" I yelled. He pulled over. "We had an agreement, Alexis" I said nothing, trying to pretend that he wasn't actually talking to me. "Alexis Marie Winchester, you talk to me right the fuck now!"

"What do you want me to say Dean?" I demanded, turning to look at him for the first time. "I'm sorry that I had sex? Because I'm not! I'm glad it did it! I'm not glad we broke up almost right after, but I loved him, okay? I loved him!" I stared at Dean, tears pouring down my face. "So just don't"

He said nothing for a long time. I think I knew what he was thinking. He wanted to tell me I was stupid, and how messed up this was, but he wouldn't because he knew I was hurting. "Was it, uh….safe?"

"Yeah" I said, tears still pouring out.

"Good" he said, and started the car again. "We'll talk more about this when we find Sammy" The rest of the ride was in silence.

Kill me, seriously. Just kill me now.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNS

We pulled into the motel and Dean looked at me for the first time in hours. "This is the place?"

"Yeah" I said, looking at the sign. "This is it"

He sighed and pulled around the lot. He pointed as he saw Sam in a window of a room. "Well, thank God you're okay" Dean sighed. Sam moved away from the window, and some girl appeared. "Oh, you're better than okay" He said, his eyebrows shooting up. "Sam, you sly dog" I glared at him. Hypocrite much?

"I mean, uh" Dean said, his smile faltering. "That's not right and he shouldn't do…that"

"Nice cover" I snorted, and rolled my eyes. "Are we going to bust in there or not?" I asked.

"Or not" Dean replied, watching Sam talk to the girl. "Something's going on. It's not like Sam to run away to hit some girl"

"Well then—"An intense pain hit me. I grabbed my head with a yelp of pain. "Oh shit" I said, feeling the pain radiate in my head. I thought I was going to vomit. I saw Gordon with a sniper rifle, aiming. I came out of it and looked up to the roof.

"Gordon, roof, rifle" I panted. "Go!"

"Stay" Dean said, and then jumped out of the car. I watched him run up to the roof where I could barely see Gordon aiming a gun. The window of the motel room shattered and I jumped. Sam hit the deck with the girl, and I watched as Dean still headed up. I wanted to get up there so bad, but I just didn't know what to do.

I decided to go on instinct. I got out of the car, and ran up to the roof. Dean was lying on the ground, unconscious. "Hey!" I screamed, holding up my pistol. It looked wimpy next to the sniper rifle, but I had to do something. "Get the hell away!"

Gordon smiled. "Put the gun down, Alexis"

"Just get the fuck away from my brother" I snarled, not in the mood for this. "I swear to god I'll kill you"

"No you won't" He said, stepping towards me.

"Yeah you're right, I probably won't" I said, stepping backwards. I pointed the gun at his groin. "But I can cause some collateral damage" I smirked, cocking the gun. "You wanna risk it?"

He stopped. "C'mon Alexis" he smiled. "Let's just talk"

I wavered slightly, but held strong in the end. "Go ahead" I said. "I'll keep it pointed"

His smile faded. "I didn't want to have to do this" He lunged at me and I shot without a second thought. I missed.

I hit the ground in seconds, and went out cold.

SPNPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNPNS

I woke up and found that I couldn't move my limbs at all. I was tied to a chair, and the knots were tight. There was no way out of this. "Dean?" I groaned, looking around.

He looked up at me from the chair that he was tied to. "I thought I told you to stay in the car" he said, looking around the room.

"Shut up, Dean" I scoffed. I looked up when Gordon smiled at me from across the room. "You know it's rude to tie people up"

"I don't really care" Gordon sighed, walking over. Dean's phone rang. "Hey" Gordon said, picking it up. "Look who it is!"

"Just leave Sammy alone" Dean growled.

"You tell him to come here" Gordon said, holding up the address. Dean clenched his jaw. "Do it!" he yelled, holding the gun to my head.

Dean grudgingly nodded. "Hello?" Dean said, glaring at Gordon. I couldn't hear the other line. "Sam, I've been looking for you" There was a pause. "I know. Yeah, I talked to Ellen. Just got here myself" he looked to me. "It's a real funky town"

I sighed. He used the code word. Nice.

"You ditched me, Sammy" Dean said, trying to sound normal. "What? Who?" Dean sighed. Sam said some more. "Yeah sure, hang on let me get her" He looked up at Gordon.

Gordon put the phone to my face. "Hey" he said. "So I just wanted to ask you if you ate dinner yet? I was going to bring food?"

I sighed to myself. Our code. Sam was double checking. "Yeah" I replied. "I ate tacos"

"Oh" He said, sounding tense. I hated tacos. "Alright never mind then. Can I talk to Dean again?"

I looked up at Gordon, who switched the phone back. "Yeah" Dean said. "I'm staying at 5637 Monroe Street. Why don't you meet me here?"

Gordon smiled, and flipped the phone shut. "Now, was that so hard?" He asked, with a smile.

Dean glowered. "Bite me"

Gordon just smiled, and went to the corner where he had a little chair. He sat down and started to load his gun and clean it and the like. I sighed, and tried to squirm my way out of the ropes. All I did was make my wrists raw and my hands hurt. Gordon was a talented hunter. He wasn't going to just tie crappy knots. That would be way too stupid.

"Gordy, I know me and Sam ain't exactly your favorite people, but don't you think this is a little extreme?" Dean asked.

"What, you think this is revenge?" Gordon asked.

"Well, we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days…" Dean said. "Which was awesome!"

I snorted, and then stopped abruptly. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh"

"Yeah. I was definitely planning on whoopin' your ass for that" Gordon said, with a smirk. "But that's not what this is. This isn't personal. I'm not a killer, Dean. I'm a hunter. And your brother's fair game" He closed the mag and smiled.

"You're no hunter" I stated, glaring at him. "You're a crazy asshole"

"Look, I just want Sammy" Gordon smiled.

"But why?" I asked, wondering what the hell he wanted to off Sam for. I mean, I wanted to off him sometimes too, but I had a feeling that there were two very different things. "Why do you want to off Sam?"

Gordon smiled. "See, I was doing an exorcism down in Louisiana –- teenage girl, seemed routine, some low-level demon. But between all the jabbering and the head-spinning, the damn thing muttered something about a coming war" He said. "Now, I don't think it meant to. It just kind of slipped out. But it was too late –- peaked my interest. And you can really make a demon talk if you've got the right tools"

"And what happened to the girl it was possessing?" Dean asked, fearing the worst.

Gordon shrugged. "She didn't make it"

Dean shook his head. "Well, you're a son of a bitch"

Gordon stood and walked over and stood in front of Dean. He sighed, and then slapped him across the face. "That's my mama you're talkin' about" He stated, and then smirked. ""Anyway, this demon tells me they have soldiers to fight in this coming war –- humans fighting on hell's side, you believe that? I mean, they're psychics, so they're not exactly pure humans, but still…what kind of worthless scumbag you've gotta be to turn against your own race. But you know the biggest kick in the ass?" He asked. "This demon said I knew one of 'em –- our very own Sammy Winchester"

"Oh, this is a whole new level of moronic, even for you" I chuckled trying to play this off as a lie. There was the knowing feeling in my brain. Sam was part of this war. Gordon couldn't know that.

"Yeah?" Gordon asked, coming by me. I nodded. "Come on, Alexis. I know about Sam's visions. I know everything. Even about you"

"Me?" I asked, shaking my head. "I'm normal" I paused. "Well, alright, I can kick some ass for a sixteen year old girl…"

"And you can do things with your mind" he said. "And you know when your brothers are in trouble"

"Really?" Dean laughed. "And you know this because a demon told you?" He laughed again. "Yeah, and it wasn't lying"

"Hey, Dean. I'm not some reckless yahoo, okay?" Gordon said, adamantly. "I did my homework. Made damn sure it was true. Look, you got your Roadhouse connections, I got mine. It's how I found Sammy in the first place"

"From the roadhouse?" I asked, "They told you?"

"Something like that" he smiled. "And about a month ago, I found another one of these freaks here in town. He could deep-fry a person just by touching them"

"Yeah, did he kill anyone?" Dean asked.

"Besides Mr. Tinkles, the cat? No" Gordon replied. "But he was working up to it. They're all gonna be killers, Dean. We've gotta take 'em all out. And that means Sammy, too" He cocked his gun.

"You think Sam's stupid enough to walk through that front door?" Dean asked.

"No, I don't. Especially since I'm sure you found a way to warn him" Gordon said. "You really think I'm that stupid?" Dean and I shared and glance. "No…" Gordon said with a sigh. "Sammy's gonna scope the place first, see me covering the front door. So he's gonna take the back. And when he does, he'll hit the tripwire. Then…boom"

"Sam's not gonna fall for a friggen' tripwire" I scoffed.

"Maybe you're right" Gordon smiled, and took another tripwire out. "That's why I'll have a second one" I glared at him hoping he knew I was wishing death on him in my mind. "Hey, look…I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this, I really do. But for what it's worth…it'll be quick"

He walked away to go set up the trip wires, and I rocked my chair around. I got no give on the ropes and gave up. I looked to Dean. "So, Dean" I said, looking behind me to where Gordon was. "Got a plan?"

"Not really" Dean said, "Do you?"

"I could pretend I gotta pee" I shrugged. "But Gordon's not that dumb"

"We're screwed" Dean sighed, and let his head hang in defeat. He looked up after a moment as Gordon stood up to come back. "I'm gonna kill him" he growled. Gordon smiled at us as he came back. "Come on, man" Dean pleaded. "I know Sam better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean, the guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn"

"Maybe you're right" Gordon said, with a shrug. "But one day, he's gonna be a monster"

"How, huh?" I asked. "How's Sam become a monster?"

"Beats me. But he will" Gordon replied.

"No, you don't know that!" Dean yelled, and I knew what he was thinking. If Gordon was right, we would have to waste Sam, and I wasn't sure we were going to be able to do that.

"I'm surprised at you, Dean –- getting all emotional" Gordon said, clearly amused. "I'd heard you were more of a professional than this. Look, let's say you were cruising' around in that car of yours, and you had Little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was just some goofy, crappy artist. But you knew what he was gonna turn into someday. You'd take him out, no questions, am I right?"

"That's not Sam" I cut in, looking at Dean's hurt expression.

"Yes, it is" Gordon nodded. "You just can't see it yet. It's his destiny" He looked from me to Dean. "Look…I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has gotta hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing"

He came behind me and gagged my mouth. I swore at him from behind it, throwing around more obscenities to rival even Dean's mouth. Gordon ignored me and kept talking. "You would've wrecked him. But you're Dad? If it really came right down to it, he would've had the stones to do the right thing here" He looked right at Dean. "But you're telling me…you're not the man he is?"

I screamed at him again, and he slapped me to make me shut up. I blinked away the tears. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I heard footsteps behind me and the movement of someone outside. Sammy.

"You hear him?" Gordon whispered in my ear. The creak of a door made my heart pound. I could feel the tears pooling. Gordon was right next to me, I could feel his breath. "Here he comes"

An explosion made the entire building shake. "Oh, no. Not yet. Just wait and see" Gordon said. I shut my eyes as another explosion shook the building harder and debris flew everywhere. Part of the wall came away and smoke made my eyes burn likes crazy.

"Sorry, Winchesters" Gordon said, and then took his rifle back with him to check for Sam. I started to fight the ropes again, more adamantly this time. I felt the chair break, and then I was on my back. The gag fell off.

"Sam!" I screamed, and listened.

"Drop the gun" I heard Sam say. My heart soared. I couldn't hear the rest of it, but I heard someone fall and then punching and gasping.

Sam came over and smiled down at me. "You fell?" he asked, amused.

"Get me up" I growled. He lifted the chair up and pulled the ropes off. I stood up and rubbed my sore wrists. Sam untied Dean and then looked at me apologetically.

I walked to him, and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. He doubled over in pain, and glared at me. "That's for running off" I said, and then as he stood back up I hugged him. "You're an idiot"

"Dean, no" Sam said, as Dean went to go kill Gordon.

"I let him live once, I'm not making the same mistake twice" Dean said, pointing towards him and glaring.

"Trust me. Gordon's taken care of" Sam said. "Come on"

We left the building, and out of nowhere Gordon came at us shooting away. We looked back and Sam and I shared a glance. He pushed me in front of him and then we ran. "You call this "taken care of"?" Dean shouted. Sam pulled me down as we jumped a log. "What the hell are we doing?" Dean asked.

"Just trust me on this, all right?" Sam said, peering over the top of the log.

"Drop your weapons! Get down on your knees! Do it, now!" A police officer said, as cars surrounded Gordon. Gordon stopped what he was doing, glaring in our direction and then he was handcuffed. I laughed, and Dean had to cover my mouth so that no one would hear me.

"Anonymous tip" Sam said, with a nonchalant shrug.

Dean snorted. "You're a fine, upstanding citizen, Sam"

SPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSNP

"Gordon Walker was hunting Sam?" Ellen said, on the phone.

"Yeah, he almost killed us both, 'cause somebody over there can't keep their fricking' mouth shut!" Dean scoffed into the speaker.

"Dean, do you honestly think that it was me? Or Ash? Or Jo?" Ellen asked, sounding slightly hurt. "No way"

"Well, who else knows about Sam? Huh?" I asked. "I mean, you must've been talking to somebody!"

"Hey, you can say a lot of things about us. But we aren't disloyal. And we're not stupid" she said, annoyed. "We haven't breathed a word of this"

"Gordon said he had Roadhouse connections, Ellen" Dean went on.

"And this Roadhouse is full of other hunters. They're all smart, they're good trackers –- each of them with their own patterns and connections. Hell, I could name twelve of them right now that are capable of putting this together" Ellen sighed. "I am sorry about what happened, Dean. But I can't control these people. Or what they choose to believe"

Dean sighed, and then hung up without a goodbye. Sam took the phone and dialed that girl that he had been with earlier. Apparently she was a special kid just like me and Sammy. She had a vision of Sam and had found him. "Hey, Ava, it's Sam again" Sam sighed, looking at me in defeat. We had called her a million times now. "Call me when you get this. Just wanna make sure you got home okay. All right, bye"

"Everything all right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I hope so"

"Well, Gordon should be reaching for the soap for the next few years, at least" Dean smirked, happy with this. I snorted.

"Yeah, if they pin Scott Carey's murder on him. And if he doesn't bust out" Sam said, shaking his head. Leave it to him to be a downer.

"Dude, you ever take off like that again…" Dean said with a sigh.

"What? You'd kill me?" Sam asked, amused.

Dean glared. "That's so not funny"

Sam laughed. "All right. So, where to next, then?"

"One word" Dean said, with a smirk. "Amsterdam"

I rolled my eyes. "Dean…"

"Come on, guys I hear the coffee shops don't even serve coffee!"

"I'm not gonna just ditch the job" Sam stated.

Dean scoffed. "Screw the job. Screw it, man. I'm sick of the job anyway" He looked to us. "We don't get paid, we don't get thanked. The only thing we get is bad luck"

"Well, come on, dude. You're a hunter" Sam said. "It's what you were meant to do"

"No, I wasn't meant to do anything. I don't believe in that destiny crap" Dean replied.

"You mean, you don't believe in my destiny" Sam said, staring at him.

"Well, whatever" Dean responded shortly.

Sam sighed. "Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me"

"Well, I can try" Dean stated.

"Thanks for that" Sam said softly. I smiled to myself. We would go to the ends of the earth for each other. "Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting. Whatever's coming, I'm taking it head-on. So, if you really wanna watch my back, then I guess you're gonna have to stick around"

Dean smirked. "Bitch"

"Jerk" Sam replied automatically, and then smiled.

"Yeah, yeah" I said, leaning forward. "Car full of love" I looked to each of them and laughed.

Dean's smile faded. "You know, we never finished talking about what you told me"

I was confused, and then my face went red. "God, Dean, really?" I asked. "Can't we just drop it?"

"No"

Sam looked lost. "What's going on?"

"Alexis had sex with Logan and never told us" Dean said coldly. "And I think we need to discuss it"

"Discuss what?" I asked. "It's not like I can take it back!"

"Lexie, you used a condom, right?" Sam asked, turning around.

"Don't call it that!" Dean said. "I don't even want to hear Lex and condom in the same sentence. Ever"

"I used protection" I said, mortified. "I swear. We were safe, I'm not pregnant and I don't have Aids" I buried my face in my hands. "This is why I don't tell you things like this! I can't tell you or you quiz me on it!" I felt angry tears coming closer.

"We just want to make sure that—"

"I'm fine" I said. "It was awkward enough without you two knowing every detail, okay?"

Sam smirked. "First times usually are"

"Mine wasn't" Dean said. "Ah, Hannah. She was awesome"

"Shut up!" I yelled, and then looked away from them. "I don't even get what all the fuss is, it isn't that great"

"You only did it one time" Dean scoffed. I said nothing, and Dean glared at me. "Right?"

"No" I replied. "A few times"

"What's a few times?" he roared, about to pull the car over.

"Dean!" I shouted. "C'mon, really? Three, okay! Three!"

He sat fuming, and Sam looked at me. "You should've told us"

"I will if I ever decide to again, okay?" I asked, "Promise. I swear on mom's grave" I leaned back. "Can we just stop talking about it now?"

No one said a word, and I took that as we were done. Sam picked up his phone again as I put my IPod on to block them out. "You calling that Ava girl again?" Dean asked. "You sweet on her or something?"

"She's engaged, Dean" Sam said, annoyed.

"So? What's the point of saving the world if you can't get a little nookie once in a while, huh?" Dean asked.

I smacked the back of his head. "You are the most hypocritical person I think I've ever met" I shouted. "You two can go bang random chicks and chalk it up to a good time but I do it with my actual boyfriend and the world is ending?"

"Yeah" Dean said, and Sam just frowned. "What?"

"Just a feeling" Sam said, snapping his phone closed. "How far is it to Peoria?"

"An hour or so" Dean replied, and started to gun it. Sam hunted down Ava's address. He seemed really worried about her.

We got out of the car almost an exact hour later and walked up to Ava's front door. "Hello? Is anybody home?" Sam called, opening the door. It hadn't been locked. That wasn't a good sign. "Oh my God" Sam said, as he pushed open the bedroom door.

I looked in, and saw what I was presuming to be her fiancé mauled on the bed. Blood was everywhere, soaking the sheets. "What the hell happened?" I asked.

"Hey" Dean said, showing up his yellow fingers. "Sulfur. Demon's been here"

"That sucks" I sighed, looking at the man in the bed. I grimaced.

Sam suddenly bent down and picked up a ring off the floor. "Ava?" he asked, and frowned.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPSNSPN

"We gotta get some supplies, Lex" Dean said, stepping on the gas. "And Joshua's the closest"

"But Bobby's only like an hour or so past them!" I exclaimed indignantly. "C'mon Dean! You just want to go there to yell at him! This is torture"

"Lex, Dean's right" Sam said, anxiously. "We grab the ammo and stuff and we go back. We gotta find Ava"

I looked from Sam to Dean and sighed. "Fine" I said, folding my arms over my chest. "For Ava, the psychic girl I never even met"

Sam smiled. "Thank you"

"No problem" I said, and watched as we pulled up to Logan's house. I wanted to shoot myself. I walked in front of Dean to the front door. I looked back at him before I let him knock. "Say anything even close to my sex life and I will stab you" He slowly nodded. I let him knock on the door.

Joshua answered and looked at us. "The stuffs in the shed" he said, "I packed it up already" he looked to me. "How are you, Lexie?"

"Fine" I said, and gave him a smile. "How's Logan?" I couldn't pretend I wasn't curious.

"He's okay" he said, and they left. I peeked in the house and saw Logan on the couch, watching TV. The only thing that made me gasp was who was on the couch next to him. Hannah.

"You're with Hannah?" I asked, walking in the house immediately. I didn't really care that this wasn't the best of my plans or anything. It wasn't even tactful, but I didn't care. I was fuming.

"Uh, yeah" Logan said, his eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"HI, Lexie" Hannah said, all chipper and perky. She twirled her hair. "What are you doing here? Logie said that you left for a long time"

"Yeah well" I said, not knowing what to say. "My brothers are waiting" I turned on my heel and stalked out. I could feel the angry tears about to fall, but choked them back. I wasn't going to cry. We were broken up, there was no reason he couldn't go out with some other girl. Even Hannah. That was fine.

"You okay?" Dean asked, putting an arm around my shoulder as they loaded the car. "Did something happen in there?"

"Why are boys so stupid?" I demanded, and got into the backseat without another word. Sam and Dean shared an uneasy look and then Sam sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked calmly.

"No. I want to hit something" I replied.

"Go ahead" Dean smirked. "You won't do too much damage"

I glared at him, and then lay down so that I could pretend all of the different ways I could kill Logan in his sleep. There were a lot. "Just leave me alone, okay?" I said as Sam called my name. "I'm fine" They both shared a glance and then left me to think in silence. I wasn't sure what a broken heart felt like, but I knew it hurt. It hurt worse than a lot of things. My insides were aching, and I wanted to curl up and cry until it stopped hurting.

The worst part was that broken or not, my heart kept beating. Even if I wasn't sure I wanted it too.