I flopped down on the grass angrily. Ori had suggested taking a walk in the gardens might help settle my nerves. It didn't.

"TWO FREAKIN DAYS!" I shouted to the blue skies above me. The birds were all that replied some chirping back at me as if scolding me for my noise.

I rolled up to a sitting position again, my hood falling back in the process. I didn't care. So what if people saw my short hair? I hadn't done anything shameful. I chose to cut it. Dumb customs didn't affect me.

"Two whole days…" I let out an annoyed sigh through my nose. I had to stay two more days in this dreadful place. I had to survive two days.

"Oi, blue face!" I glared in the direction of the noise to see Fili walking over to me, sweaty from a recent work out.

"What do you want?" I sighed.

"I'm gonna get a bath so I don't continue to reek forever. Miley wanted me to ask for you to join me."

"No thanks."

"M says you don't have a choice."

"She can go to hell."

Fili rolled her eyes before smiling coolly. "You're being stubborn. What, you afraid of baths?"

"No." I scowled.

"Then come on." She offered me a hand up. I declined it, but stood anyway, following her to a little hidden fountain in what seemed an abandoned area. "The others are in another fountain."

"And the elves don't mind?" I raised an eyebrow as she started stripping.

"Eh, who cares if they do?"

"Gee, how thoughtful." Hesitantly, I stripped as well and lowered myself into the freezing fountain. "This is cold." I hissed, lowering myself in slowly. Fili just smirked. "I could really go for some warm water right now."

"Mmm…" Fili hummed in agreement. And the conversation ended. Neither of us talked or acknowledged each other as we sat in the icy fountain. After it had been awkward for long enough, I decided to hurry up and wash so I could get out of there quickly. I dunked my head in the water. It was cold, but the feeling as it surrounded me completely was comforting. It was only my lack of air that forced me to come back up. If I could have one super power it would definitely be to breath underwater. That would be so cool. I gasped for air as soon as my face broke the surface again. I breathed deeply for a moment before splashing water on my face. I was getting more used to the temperature and had managed to stop shivering for a bit.

I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Fili staring at me in a bored, yet intrigued way. I raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged. "Your hair really is brown."

"It washed out?" I asked. It was impossible for me to see at its current length.

Fili nodded. "The markings on your face as well." I sighed. I would have to go searching for supplies to fix it up again. Fili was watching me again.

"Something on your mind?" I asked a little hostile.

"Why do you hide your face?"

I was slightly taken aback at first, before regaining myself and answering calmly. "At first it was to keep M from noticing who I was. I'm treading on unknown territory, so I didn't want to mess anything up."

"Why do you do it now?"

"Well you heard Thorin yourself!" I snapped. "He doesn't want to be seen traveling with someone who had short hair." Okay, so maybe I was still a bit annoyed about that.

"But why do you hide your face?" Fili asked. I glared at her a moment before sinking lower into the fountain. Fili watched me a moment before looking away casually. "In my experience, people who hide their face usually have more than one thing they're hiding."

"Everyone's hiding something."

Fili raised an eyebrow. "You really think that?"

"I know that." I said certainly.

"Well then," Fili smirked "What am I hiding?"

I shrugged. "Who knows? You're royalty right? First born even. But you're a girl, so your younger brother will inherit the throne instead of you. Surely you must be hiding some sort of resentment over that."

Fili nodded. "Sometimes. So what are you hiding?"

"If I was hiding it, why would I tell you?" I replied, shrugging.

The dwarf stared at me for a long moment. "This is why I don't like you." She leaned back, relaxing again the fountain's edge. "If you weren't Kili's One I wouldn't even bother with you. Thorin wouldn't either, in case you're wondering."

"So what?" I asked. "If Kili didn't like me I'd be dead?"

"I'm not convinced he does like you." Fili laughed. "He's a romantic. Always has been. He's trying to make it work between the two of you. So I'm willing to give you a chance. But if you try and use him in your little schemes or anything dishonest that could hurt him, then I won't hesitate to end you. Even if it does sever the connection between you two."

"What happens when you sever the connection?" I asked, choosing to ignore the death threat that had just been told to my face from the person I was currently sharing a bath with.

"It all but destroys the person who remains. They get over it eventually, of course. But not completely. And they're never quite the same." A far off look came to her eyes, as if speaking from memory.

I cleared my throat quietly. "And you'd do that to him? Out of hatred for me?"

"If you hurt him." Fili nodded.

I swallowed again painfully, my throat feeling very dry. "Well… good to know how you feel."

"Any time." Fili smiled before rising, dripping from the water and putting on the clothes, which she had soaked in the fountain and left to dry. When she had done that, I had no clue, but she did. I was a little thankful that she waited for me to wash the mud out of my own clothes before I climbed out of the fountain, which was now muddy beyond belief, and draining a little slower than usual.

"The elves won't care." The dwarf assured me. I sighed and followed her back through the white halls, keeping an eye out for a sunny spot to sit and dry myself. The traveling clothes were thick, making them sturdy, but very heavy when wet.

"You brought half the fountain with you." Fili observed the trail of water I was leaving behind me. I rolled my eyes before seeing Kili up ahead. He looked slightly damp from his recent bath as well. His eyes widened as the two of us came walking up.

"Did someone try to drown you?" He asked eyes wide.

"Very funny."

"I'm half serious here."

"Go away." I had meant it as a joke. I really had. But when I saw the hurt look that came across his face I immediately felt bad. "No I-" I looked around helplessly but Fili was already gone. "I didn't mean that."

Kili looked at me sadly. "I'm annoying to you, aren't I? And don't try to deny it. I can feel what you feel."

"No I… I…" words seemed to elude me. "Yes, okay, you annoy me! But it's not because I don't like you. I do like you! Way too much, in fact. And that's what annoys me!"

"I don't understand." Kili frowned.

"I can't love anyone, Kili. It makes me vulnerable. It's a weakness. And right now I can't afford to have any more weaknesses then I already have. I don't need any more." And the fact that his name appeared on the paper certainly didn't help matters

The dark haired dwarf stared straight into my eyes. "I'm a burden to you?"

"…Yeah." I turned away; hoping one of us would just leave. But neither Kili nor I moved at all.

"So what do you want?" his voice asked from behind me. "What do you want to happen now?"

I didn't dare look back. "I want to finish this stupid quest and get Miley back home again. That's all I need to worry about right now and it's more than enough."

"And what about… us?"

"It's a distraction." I replied coldly. "For both of us. And your uncle would agree with me."

"I don't care what my uncle thinks." Kili spat.

"You do, don't try to deny it." I glared at him. "Besides. There's no future for us. I have a mission and once that's over 'poof' goodbye Nimm."

"You don't know that."

"Don't I?" I laughed hollowly. "It's not like I'll just hang around here! That's impossible."

"Why?" Kili demanded.

Because this is just a book. I bit back the words. "It just is. Okay?"

"Well I'm not willing to accept that!" He growled. "It sounds to me like your just giving up on your future and I won't let you do that!"

"My life doesn't matter anymore." I hissed. "I shouldn't even exist! There are two off me. That's something that should never happen. But I need to save Miley. It's my fault she's in this situation. Saving her is my only priority."

"I thought you were sent to save the quest?" Kili said warily.

Shoot. Forgot about that. "That's their mission. Mine is to get Miley out of this alive. I owe it to her."

"And that means you can't even think about a future."

"That's right." I turned away again. "Because I don't have the right to one. Sorry I had to mess up your life." The sound of my own dripping followed me as I left. It was a good thing I was soaked. It hid my tears well.

That was not supposed to happen, darn you Nimm why do you have to be such a stubborn old git?