Of those associated right, this humble bard owns not a one.
Soundtrack:
1. Palladio: Escala
2. Theme from the Godfather
3. Scheming Weasel: Kevin MacLeod
Sinfonia Del Male
Commander Squall Leonhart gazed out a window staring into the woodlands of his home, Radiant Garden. Twice voted most beautiful province and five times voted best vacation resort, Radiant Garden was renowned for its natural beauty, friendly people, and great social advancement. But that had been before Ultimecea. The insane sorceress and her armies of bandits, barbarians, anarchists, and criminals had lain waist to the once beautiful landscapes. Of the nearly fifty million population only a hardy twenty thousand survived. As the war raged on, none of the other provinces, the ones that had sent so many tourists, bothered to get involved. They were all too frightened of what the war might to their own borders, so they refused to send help. The war raged for nearly twenty years, reducing most of Radiant Garden to a barren wasteland. However, in the end, the people of the Garden, with some help from the neighboring province of Corneila, had defeated Ultimeaca. Now, the only thing left to do is rebuild, Squall thought.
Eventually, the commander started walking through the castle. After glancing at his watch, his pace changed from a leisurely stroll to a well-practiced military fast gate. If I'm late, Rinoa'll kill me, Squall thought, exasperatedly. Rinoa Heartily, one of the major leaders in the war and Squall's fiancé, had taken charge of the 'cultural revival' of Radiant Garden after the war. So far, Rinoa had produced five symphonies, three plays, and the careers of two up-and-coming artists. Tonight, a young conductor had composed an entirely violin piece, and Rinoa had invited the entire castle staff. Personally, Squall saw the importance of her efforts, he just wasn't the 'sit in a theater for three and a half hours and listen to pretty music' type.
Turning a corner, Squall saw the door leading to his box seats. The door was guarded by two soldiers, who immediately shot back respectful salutes and even more respectful glances. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the overt hero-worship, Squall returned the salute before pushing the door open. Inside, he found Alura and Rinoa, a human with long black hair and dark brown eyes, already seated.
"Ah, just in time, I see," Rinoa commented with a coy smile.
"Wouldn't miss this for the world," Squall replied, taking a seat.
"I thought you said that you'd wear something nice," Alura said. Squall glanced between his two companions' outfits and his own. Rinoa wore a simple yet stylish white halter dress while Alura had gone for a more elaborate red dress. Squall had a white t-shirt and a jacket.
"It's my good jacket," Squall replied with a shrug. This response earned him a giggle from Rinoa, who knew very well that most of Squall's wardrobe consisted of nearly identical jackets and white t-shirts.
"And another thing, you're not even trying to hide your weapon," Alura pointed out. Squall unconsciously reached for the handle of his trusted gunblade, which hung loosely between his belt and his pants.
"She has a point," Rinoa agreed. "This is supposed to symbolize the end of war and the start of peace."
"Gun taped to bottom of chair, rapier under dress," Squall replied, allowing himself a triumphant smirk. Rinoa and Alura exchanged surprised glances.
"Well, at least ours are hidden," Alura said, not really trying to defend herself. At that moment, the stage curtain rose and various musicians started, all holding violins, readying themselves.
With of wave of his baton, the conductor started the piece. Immediately, music began to rise from the stage. Squall prepared his pretending to pay attention face when he heard a loud thud. He, Alura, and Rinoa immediately looked up at the badly patched together roof of their seats. Squall nodded at the roof and started reaching for his gunblade.
"Beautiful, isn't it," Alura commented, trying to lull who or whatever was above them into a false sense of security.
"Meh, I liked the last one more," Squall replied, drawing his gunblade.
"Everyone's a critic," Rinoa said. Then, Squall trust his blade into the roof and with a sudden jerking motion, brought it all down. As the dust cleared, Squall, Alura and Rinoa all pointed their weapons at a young man with buzzed brown hair and green eyes who was sitting atop the pile of derbies.
"Well, nice to meet you too," He muttered. Squall looked him over, noticing that the white jacket and blue shirt looked recently bought.
"Who are you and why are you here?" Alura demanded, pointing her blade at him.
"Okay, first, name's Zeke," he began holding up his hand. "And second, despite what you might be thinking, I'm here to help you."
Rinoa and Squall shot him disbelieving looks.
"Okay, my friend and I also may need your help," He admitted.
Squall opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a desperate cry of
"HELP SOMEONE HEL-" from outside the door.
Alura quickly threw open the door to find the two guards laying on the ground. Surrounding them were half a dozen small black creatures. Alura took a step back as the creatures began to advance. She slammed the door shut.
"What the heck are those?" She asked.
"Heartless, the living embodiments of people's darkness," Zeke replied. More screams pierced the air. The four glanced into the audience, who were running frantically from dozens of heartless. Squall grunted before throwing himself off the balcony and into the crowd. He charged toward the black creatures and started cutting a swath through them. One leapt toward him only to be cut back down. Two others advanced but met a similar fate.
"Leon, behind you!" Came Rinoa's voice. Squall turned just in time to see a heartless leaping toward him. Squall braced himself for the creature's attack but it never came. Before the creature could pounce on him, a bolt of lightning shot the heartless, destroying it.
Surprised, Squall looked in the direction of the shot. He saw one of the musicians standing in front of the rest. She wore a black jacket and red skirt. This was nothing surprising, but what was unusual was her violin. She held her violin like a bow, with her bow like an arrow. The bow seemed to be crackling with energy and sprouting from the neck of the violin was a short blade.
"Um thanks," Squall said as she approached.
"Oh, no problem," She said. "Hi, I'm Arden, and you're Squall Leonhart, right. I'm so excited, I heard so much about you."
"Arden, this isn't the time," Came Zeke's voice. Squall and Arden looked to see him, Alura and Rinoa fighting the rest of the heartless. Alura gracefully stabbed at the dark creatures with her raiper while Rinoa alternated between shooting them and bashing them with a piece of wood from the box seats. Zeke was wielding two large triangular blades.
Squall and Arden exchanged nods and jumped into the fray. The five formed a tight circle, defending against the incoming heartless attacks. After what seemed like an eternity, the last of the heartless were destroyed.
"I-is that all of them?" Alura asked, catching her breath.
"Hardly," Zeke replied, taking a seat. "there's plenty more where those came from."
Squall let out an angry snort. Before giving Rinoa a concerned look, she returned his look. Alura walked toward one of the fallen guests and kneel beside him.
"He's not dead, just unconscious," Alura said, after checking his pulse.
"If that were only true," Commented Arden.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Squall asked.
"It means," Zeke began standing back up. "he's not unconscious. He's lost his Heart."
"B-but, that's impossible!" Rinoa exclaimed.
"Alright, you two, you've got a lot of explaining to do," Squall said.
Roger Bardberry glanced out his window, an expression of utter boredom on his face. Roger sat in a small room just inside the hallway of Defense Wing of the New Ninjago City capital building. The Defense Wing had been instituted by Minister Steven Armstrong after the Overlord's first attack. Each section of the wing was devoted to separate tasks, the militia wing for example severed as the training center for the emergency defense militia.
Roger's position was that of message receiver. Armstrong, with the support of Mayor Borg, had established a communication line to every kingdom in Ninjago. In theory, the communication lines would allow the different kingdom to warn one another of any imminent danger. In practice, it was a waste of tax money and Roger's time. The man glanced at the clock, then at a picture of his family.
"Only a few more hours," He muttered, as he leaned back preparing to take a nap. Just as he was about to doze off, the sound of a printer woke him. Roger snapped awake and realized, to his surprise, the fax machine was churning a message. The only kingdoms with that primitive of technology would be Radiant Garden, Altercia, and Topie Town. He thought as the message printed out. He quickly read the contents of the message.
From Commander Squall Leonhart, RGDC
A group known as Organization XIII are attempting to resurrect the Overlord. This group seems to have unlimited transportation advantages, a completely hidden base, and an army of creatures that can consume a person's heart. Two former members, Zeke and Arden, have shared this and more information. More information pending.
Roger let out a gasp.
"I..I gotta tell Minister Armstrong, no the Mayor…No the Ninja, they'll know what to do," He sputtered standing up but as he turned he was meet by a man in a black coat with an eyepatch and a nasty scar. He raised a weapon to his face and said "Hmph, As if." And that was the last thing Roger saw.
Xigbar pushed the body aside and sat at the desk. Grinning to himself, he typed in a response elaborating in great detail how the ninja had already defeated the Organization at every turn and were trying to find their secret base. After sending the message, he deleted every scrap of evidence that any messages had been sent or received.
"Suckers," He muttered before taking a step back. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a collection of Saïx's scales and scattered them all around the body. He then raised his arrow gun, changed the setting to explosive, and destroyed the entire station. The fire alarms now blaring, Xigbar opened a corridor and proceeded through. As he walked through, he looked at the message he had picked up from the body.
"So that's what the kids've been up to," He said. "Boss man'll be happy to hear about this."
The Call of the Black Feather
Ed Walker stared at the black clouds gathering in the sky above New Ninjago city. Looking down, he stared at a fangpyre walking down the street. Ed winced in fear. He couldn't tell many serpentine apart, but he knew the type that almost turned him and Edna into snakes. Ed would never tell anyone about it but he had nightmares about that incident on a fairly regular basis. The very idea one of those scaled monsters hurting him frightened him beyond words. But more frightening was the idea of one of those monsters hurting Edna.
"Dad, hey Dad," Came a voice. Ed turned and looked across at his son, Jay.
"Are you even listening?" He asked, slightly annoyed.
"What? Of course I was," Ed lied, trying to hide his embarrassment. He, Edna, and Jay meet whenever they could for family lunches. Of course, this was not too often considering Jay's duties as a protector of New Ninjago city usually kept him busy.
"Jay got me this wonderful necklace," Edna explained, holding up the aforementioned jewelry. The necklace was a simple rope with the word 'mom' in stainless steel hanging off the end. It looked very cheap. Ed guessed, knowing his son, Jay had bought it right before coming. It's the thought that counts Ed reminded himself.
"Oh, it's very nice," Ed said, despite his own thoughts. Eventually, his gaze drifted back to the fangpyre across the street.
"Dad," Jay began, following his gaze. "There's nothing to be afraid of. They're people just like you and me."
"Yeah, people who attacked me, you, the whole city," Ed replied.
"Well, they were just misguided that's all," Jay said.
"But they're still dangerous," Ed insisted, almost standing out of his chair. "What about making your friend disappear, or attacking the defense ministry."
"Well..yeah…but those are just isolated events," Jay replied. "It doesn't mean anything about the whole race."
"Yeah, well, I'll have you know that ever since those snakes came to this city the crime rate has been higher than even the Torchwick days," Ed insisted. A sudden hush fell over the table.
The "Torchwick days" was the common term used to describe the time when the infamous Torchwick gang had ruled Ninjago city with an iron fist. Roman Torchwick, the illegitimate son of criminal king pin Carl Elias, formed the gang by killing every other crime boss and recruiting their gangs into his own. Under the Trochwick gang, drug deals happened mid-day, police officers were either killed or bought by the gang, and anyone caught walking in the night could write themselves off as dead. Only one man, a Detective Hoffman, had tried to stand up to the gang but he fell in the line of duty. After his death, people give up hope. But one day, the entire gang turned up dead. No-one knew how and no one cared because the blight was gone. The only person left unaccounted for was Roman Torchwick, himself. His body was never found but he was never heard from again so people assumed he was dead too. Ever since, the city had collectively tried to forget those days. History books barely mentioned the "Torchwick days" and speaking Roman's name was considered heresy amongst the people.
"D-Dad, they're desperate, they don't have any jobs," Jay pleaded.
"Now, now, boys," Edna said. "let's not talk about these kinds of things."
"Sorry," Ed said sitting back down. The 'Torchwick Days' brought back painful memories for the Walker family. Once when Jay was five, members of the gang had shown up at the junkyard and demanded protection money. Ed refused, which resulted in the gang members beating him to near-death and destroing much of the junk. The event had left Jay so scared that for years the sight of a Jack-o-Lantern, the gang's symbol, had left him petrified.
"It's fine," Jay replied. The family carried on conversation as though nothing had happened, though all Ed could think about was the Serpentine. After about a half-hour, Jay left hastily. Apparently, Sensei Wu thought he may have found clues to Cole's location.
So Ed and Edna started walking back to their car. As they walked, Ed thought he noticed a Hyponbrai following them, but he decided it was just paranoia.
"Oh, I wish we hadn't parked so far away," Edna lamented as she glanced up the dark clouds in the sky.
"I knew we should have taken the umbrella with us," Ed commented. "well come on, maybe we can make it before it starts raining."
Unfortunately, rain began to pour with a few seconds. Ed pulled off his jacket and put it over the two as they headed for a covered alleyway.
"Maybe, we should just wait here until the rain stops," Ed suggested.
"You know, us hiding in the rain in an alley," Edna began. "Doesn't this remind you of our third date?"
"Oh yeah," Ed replied, remembering vividly the rain-soaked Tuesday.
"Yeah, back went I was slim and fine," Edna reminisced.
"Well, you're still pretty slim and fine to me," Ed remarked.
"You two!" Shouted a voice. Ed and Edna turned to see the Hyponbrai standing in the middle of the alleyway. He held a gun, pointed right at them. Edna gasped in horror and Ed took a freighted step back.
"Give me yer dough," He demanded.
"Our what?" Ed and Edna asked, both confused.
"Ya know, cabbage," He continued.
"He don't have any cabbage or bread," Ed said.
"Oh for cryin'… I mean your money," The Hyponbrai demanded. He started toward the two, waving is gun menacingly. This was the culmination of all of Ed's nightmares, a serpentine about to hurt him and Edna and nothing he could do about it. I knew it, I knew it, I said snakes were bad, why didn't Jay listen to me? He thought, backing away from the Hyponbrai.
"Ya know, I've heard that dark alleys are kinda dangerous," Came a voice. Ed, Edna, and the Hyponbrai turned to see a figure emerging from the shadows. The figure appeared to be a male human holding a black walking cane with a red handle. His head and shoulder were obscured by the darkness of the alley, but his cloths were mostly visible. He wore an expensive looking white jacket, black gloves with rounded sleeves, and black trousers.
"Then again, I'm usually the one administering the danger," He continued. The figure then pointed the end of the cane at the Hyponbrai. Ed noticed an image of a jack-o-lantern on the side of the cane. But that's impossible, Ed thought, as memories of such an image floated back into his mind.
"You think that's gonna hurt me?" The Hyponbrai taunted. "I have a gun."
"So do I," The figure replied. He pulled a switch on the cane. A trigger popped out of the handle, the bottom opened, and a viewfinder popped up. He pulled the trigger. A laser blast flew out of the bottom of the cane and blasted the gun out of the hyponbrai's hand. The Hyponbrai took a frightened step back before running away.
"And mine's got class," The figure taunted, coming into the light. As he approached, Ed could make out a man in his mid-forties. He had a small gray scarf with a jack-o-lantern pin wrapped around his neck. The scarf seemed to be a vain attempt to cover burn marks on his neck. He had orange hair with long bangs that covered his right eye. His face seemed almost flawless, with smooth skin and well defined features. The only exception was a scar dragging from the right corner of his lip to the bottom of his jaw. A black bowler hat, with a red band and black feather sticking out of it, sat on top his head.
I..It can't be Ed thought with horror. While he had never seen them, he knew the cane, the hat, and the jack-o-lantern all too well. Standing before Ed was the infamous Roman Torchwick. After what seemed like an eternity, Edna spoke.
"Y..you..You're," She sputtered, seemingly unable to comprehend what she saw.
"Roman Torchwick," Torchwick said, turning to face them. "The infamous crime-boss with the impeccable fashion sense? Please, hold the applause."
"P-please, take what you want just d-don't hurt us," Ed begged.
"Hurt you?" Torchkick exclaimed. "Why would I hurt you? I mean it's not like you have anything I need…or want…or don't already have."
"You're a criminal! You'd take our money anyway," Edna accused.
"I prefer the term 'aggressive entrepreneur'" Torchwick said. "Besides, last time I checked, saving someone's life is not a crime."
"You saved us?" Ed muttered. Everything about this situation seemed wrong. Their lives had been saved by Roman Torchwick, THE Roman Torchwick.
"Yeah, 'course I did," Torchwick said. "I mean we humans gotta stick together, am I right."
"Stick together," Ed repeated, taken aback. Torchwick walked over to the couple and put a friendly hand on Ed's shoulder. Ed looked at Roman, who gave him a charming smile. Ed knew he should be repelled and disgusted by all that Torchwick represented but Ed felt only gratitude toward the man.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Edna asked.
"Well, it seems pretty obvious," Torchwick said. "Have ya looked around? There's snakes like that one everywhere. And believe me, they're a serious problem. I mean, the way things are goin', there won't be that many of us left around after a while."
Torchwick walked to the edge of the alley and poked his head out, probably checking to see if the hyponbrai was gone. As Torchwick looked around, Ed processed what Roman had said. Despite every fiber of Ed's being despising him for it, Ed had to agree with Roman. The Serpentine population was beginning to outnumber the humans, given time they might even replace humanity.
"But hey, you probably don't want to talk about that," Torchwick said turning back to the two and again charmingly smiling. "So what is an elderly couple like you doing out in a dark alley in the rain like this anyhow?"
"We were meeting with our son," Ed said. This enticed a "shush" from Edna, but he ignored her.
"Really. And the jerk didn't even walk you back to your car?" Torchwick asked, looking disgusted. "I mean, assuming you drove. You don't look like city people to me."
"Our son is very busy," Edna said, immediately jumping to Jay's defense.
"Pht, with what, accounting?" Torchwick said dismissively.
"Hey our son is one of the ninja!" Ed objected. Torchwick did a double take at the two.
"No way, you're not..oh my.. you're Mr. and Mrs. Walker, aren't you?" Torchwich declared, an excited look dominating his face. "Man, wait 'til Neo and the boys hear about this! This is such an honor! You two must be proud."
Ed scratched his head. He's a criminal, why would he be so excited? Ed wondered. Edna vocalized his question.
"Why would you care?" Edna asked.
"Why shouldn't I? The ninja are heroes," Torchwick replied. "If it weren't for them, you, me, and the rest of Ninjago would be one big appetizer for the Great Devourer, or Lord Garamadon, or the Overlord."
"Well…" Ed began. He hesitated before half chocking out. "T…that was a fair bit of heroics you performed there."
Torchwick gave him a look of surprised gratitude. Edna looked at him as though he had just sprouted a third arm.
"It doesn't make up for everything you've done though," Ed added, hastily.
"Eh, gotta start somewhere," Torchwick said, dismissively. A distinctive clacking noise sounded from outside the alley. Ed noticed the sound rain hitting an umbrella. A person walked into the alley, carrying an elaborately designed pink and brown umbrella. The person closed the umbrella to reveal a rather short woman, slightly younger than Torchwick. She wore a white jacket with a pink interior, a black corset over her waist, brown pants and very high heeled boots. A half-dozen or so expensive-looking necklaces hung around her neck. However, the most distinguishing features of the woman were her hair and eyes. Her hair seemed to be tri-colored, half being pink with white streaks through it and the other half brown. Continuing this apparent color theme, her left eye was pink while her right was brown.
"Ah, Neo, my darling little delight," Torchwick greeted walking up to the woman. "Fashionably late as always."
She smiled and gave him a playful slap on the arm. "You talked to Junior and the boys?" Torchwick asked. Neo nodded with a slightly down-cast expression. Ed had heard from Jay that 'Junior' ran an illegal gambling ring but no-one had been able to prove it.
"Yeah, shame to close the old place down," Roman muttered. "But someone has to do it."
Torchwick reached into his pocket and produced a long emerald encrusted necklace from his pocket. Ed could help the surge of envy in his chest.
"Consider this a reward," He said handing Neo the necklace. She reached out to grab it but shot him a suspicious glance at the last second.
"And no, I didn't steal it," He assured her. Neo grabbed the necklace but before she put it on, she noticed Ed and Edna. Neo nodded toward the two.
"Oh, sorry. Where are my manners?" Torchwich said, turning to Ed and Edna. "This is my old friend, Neopolitan."
"Like the ice cream?" Edna asked, which earned her an irritated stare from Neo.
"Edna, that's rude," Ed scolded, realizing Neo's discomfort. "Sorry, I'm Ed and this is my wife, Edna."
"En en, not just any Ed and Edna, but the Ed and Edna Walker, parents of our city's own blue ninja," Torchwick added. Neo gave the two a surprised look. She blinked and as she blinked Ed noticed the color of her eyes change. Her right eye was now pink while the left was brown. Why is that not the creepiest thing I've ever seen? Ed wondered. Neo walked forward and gave the two respectful handshakes.
"And on that note," Torchwich began. "I was wondering if you two wonderful parents would give us the honor of walking you to your car."
"You?" Edna repeated, startled.
"Honor," Ed repeated, pleasantly surprised.
"You do have an extra, right?" Torchwick asked his friend. Neo reached into her pocket and produced a small collapsible umbrella, similar in design to her own. She offered the umbrella to Ed who quickly took it. Torchwick and Neo walked into the open, Neo opening her umbrella to cover the two.
"Ed, should we really?" Edna asked, nodding to the two who know seemed to be waiting.
"He did save our lives," Ed replied, opening the umbrella. "I think we owe him something."
Ed and Edna walked out into the rain and started walking beside Roman and Neo. Neither of the two groups said anything until they reached the parking lot where Edna had parked the Jalopy.
"Well, it looks like this is where we part ways," Torchwick said.
"Yes," Ed replied, surprisingly feeling disappointed. Edna quickly got in the Jalopy but Ed lingered with Torchwick and Neo.
"Well, it feels strange saying this but thanks for saving us," Ed commented.
"No problem at all," Torchwick responded. "It was my pleasure."
"Say, what did you mean when you talked about closing Junior's place?" Ed asked. He really did not care what Torchwick was talking about, he just wanted an excuse to talk to the enigmatic criminal a little longer.
"Oh, well I have quite a few connections left in the criminal underworld, if I do say so myself," Torchwick began. "So I've been using my connections to shut down a lot of operations. See, Neo and I've been trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Really?" Ed asked.
"Hey, if Garamadon can do it, why can't I?" Torchwick said.
"Ed, come on," Came Edna's voice.
"Well, I'd better get going," Ed said. With that, Ed got in the car and drove off. After the Jalopy had disappeared, Torchwick started to snicker to himself.
"And the Oscar goes to Roman Torchwick," He congratulated himself. Neo nudged him.
"Ah, and you played an excellent supporting role," Torchwick added, before asking. "You made sure…to provide for our scaly co-star, I assume?"
Neo smiled sadistically as she pulled a blood stained knife from her pocket.
"Good, for a minute there I thought I'd actually have to pay him," Torchwick commented. A ringing sound emerged from Torchwick's pocket. He reached in and pulled out his phone.
"Hey, boss," He answered. "So I don't think the mom's gonna buy it. But, give a week or two for the Dad, and he'll be eating out of the palm of my hand."
50 Different ways that Garamadon could have used the Mega-Weapon and Won(deleted scene from Double Trouble)
Garamadon stood on the bridge of his ship staring out at the assembled Serpentine.
"So any ideas?" He asked. One hand shot up immediately.
"Yes, you," Garamadon said.
"My name's Rattla," He clarified.
"Whatever," Garamadon shot back. "Just tell me your idea."
"That thing can do anything right?" He asked.
"Yes," Garamadon replied.
"And you can only use it once per day right?" Rattla asked.
"Yes," Garamadon replied again.
Take 1
"Why not just use it right today to teleport your son here, and then just destroy Ninjago city with it tomorrow."
Take 2
"Why not just flood the whole city and then attack?"
Take 3
"Why not attack the city and use that thing to make the ninja into babies?"
Take 4
"Why not attack the city and use that thing to make the ninja really old?"
Take 5
"Why not make an invincible army of unstoppable robots?"
Take 6
"Make a second Mega-weapon, one that doesn't use all of your power?"
Take 7
"Make the ninja loyal to you."
Take 8
"Make your son evil again and loyal to you."
Take 9
"Create Godzilla and make him loyal to you."
Take 10
"Make a death ray. It's not that original but hey if it ani't broke don't fix it."
Take 11
"Turn the people of Ninjago City against the ninja."
Take 12
"Make a fleet of spaceships to invade Ninjago city with."
Take 13
"Shrink the ninja and then step on them."
Take 14
"Make yourself giant and then step on them."
Take 15
"Make their home change into an active volcano."
Take 16
"Make a tornado that will track only the ninja."
Take 17
"Strike them with a meteorite."
Take 18
"Make them into paper; I'm sure we have a paper shredder laying around somewhere."
Take 19
"Make them forget how to fight."
Take 20
"Make the ninja into peace-lovers who would fight a fly."
Take 21
"Make an army of prehistoric creatures completely loyal to you."
Take 22
"Drop an ocean liner on their base."
Take 23
"Go back in time and kill the ninja as children."
Take 24
"Go back in time and kill Sensei Wu before he trains the ninja."
Take 25
"Go back in time and raise your son yourself."
Take 26
"Go back in time and kill the ninja's parents before their births."
Take 27
"Hey, I got a question, The Great Devourer made you evil right?"
"Yes," Garamadon replied.
"Why not go back in time and stop the Great Devourer from biting you."
Take 28
"Go back to the beginning of time and take over the world then."
Take 29
"Go forward in time and see if you won. And if you did, just ask yourself how and do that now."
Take 30
"Send the ninja back to the beginning of time and then take over the world now that they're not here."
Take 31(Last time travel one)
"Go forward in time and if you lost, find out how and avoid that mistake now."
Take 32
"Turn the ninja into statues and then attack."
Take 33
"Okay, now bare with me here. Create a bear in whatever room the Ninja are in."
"Um. What if they just beat it?" Garamadon asked.
"Then just keep making bears every day until one of those bears kills them. Even if the bears don't kill them, then they wouldn't be able to train Lloyd."
Take 34
"Give yourself all the powers of Superman and then just kill them."
Take 35
"Make yourself immortal and just wait until the ninja die of old age and then take over the world."
Take 36
"Blast them with in instant combustion ray. I mean doesn't that thing have unlimited power?"
"Power!" Came a voice. Garamadon and the serpentine turned to see a dark robed man with a face that looked like it had been blasted with lightning.
"Unlimited Power!" He declared shooting lightning from his fingers.
Take 37
"Make all of us giant and then make us them on them."
Take 38
"Turn yourself into a transformer and then step on them."
Take 39
"Teleport the ninja to a distant, abandoned island and then take over the world now that they're not here."
Take….Oh what was it 40
"Transform the ninja into ants and then step on them."
Take 41
"Create a mega-shark and then teleport the ninja into the ocean with it."
Take 42
"Make yourself a mega-zord then then step on them."
"A mega-zord?" Garamadon repeated, confused.
"Yeah like in Power Ranger." This comment was immediately followed by much mocking.
Take 43
"Create a tornado and fill it with sharks."
Take 44
"Brain-wash them into thinking they are baseball players and take over the world."
Take 45
"Give yourself lightsabers."
Take 46
"Teleport them into a parallel dimension."
Take 47
"Force them to sit through Batman and Robin. That'd kill any grown man in twenty minutes."
Take 48
"Make them magnetic and then throw swords at them. The magnetism should do the rest."
Take 49
"I thought just occurred to me."
"What?" Garamadon asked.
"That thing's massive just beat them to death with it."
Take 50
"Let the readers decide."
"What?" Garamadon asked.
"Hey, let the readers think of a way you could use that thing to defeat the ninja." Rattla continued.
"What the heck are you even…oh forget it. Over the side!" Garamadon ordered.
Author's notes: One: you'll notice that Torchwick and Neo aren't exact identical to his appearance in RWBY. Two: The real reason I've been so late on updates is two-fold. 1: I've been really busy with work. 2: these chapters have been getting really long and therefore take more time to write.