A/N: I think I pissed off a lot of people with the ending of the last chapter. Well… I don't really have much to say at the moment except for the fact that my exams are over and I finally have the break I need. Yay for me~ although… I might end up having to work during this little respite of mine as well seeing as my final year project has been gathering dust for almost two months now and my instructor is definitely gonna fail my group if we don't get off our butts and get to work. *sighs* so much for sleeping in during my break.
Anywho, this is probably the longest chapter for Broken yet. I hope you'll enjoy it.
There had been a time in his life when the color red had signified protection for him. After all, it had been the color his mentor had chosen to adorn and the Japanese man had been a pillar of strength and safety. But not anymore. After all that had happened, he knew he would only associate the color with death.
He was distantly aware of the ragged gasps causing his shoulders to tremble as he stared fixedly at it. There was so much blood. Blood that should not have been staining the sheets that dreary shade of crimson as it was. Drawing in another shaky breath, he struggled to tear his gaze away from the horrid sight before him focusing his line of sight on the weeping form of the princess, Her petite frame heaving as she wailed, making no attempts whatsoever to hide her grief, her pretty face was blotchy with tears and her eyes were bloodshot, a constant stream of tears spilling down her cheeks. His gaze shifted a little lower and his breath caught in his throat. There it was again, the color red on her hands and arms, silently mocking him, taunting him, reminding of how everything had led to failure. He jerked his head away, struggling to draw in another breath, even though he knew he did not need the air. The act of breathing was nothing more than that, an act. He was just a spirit, an essence. He did not need to breathe in order to survive. No. it was just something that he had been doing on a subconscious level before, perhaps a way of his mind reminding him that he was still human. But he was only fooling himself because he knew he wasn't anymore. Had he still been human, he'd have been able to actually do something to help instead of just scream and yell rather uselessly.
Without even knowing it, he was back to staring at the source of all that red. His eyes slowly traced the tiny rivulets that had partially dried on sickly pale skin. He could recall a time when it had been a healthy sort of pale. Like porcelain or some rather fine china plate that one would handle with extreme care. That fragile plate had been broken now. Shattered to so many tiny pieces that try as they all might, nothing could ever make it whole again. A major piece was missing and without the missing piece, nothing could be put back together. While they had been struggling to collect all the tiny shards of the flawless white a thief had come and stolen the centre piece, the final key that was needed to make the plate whole again. He was well aware that even with all the pieces put together, the cracks in its surface would have never gone away but how were they supposed to complete the piece of china when they did not even have all the shards? He wondered why he was contemplating about broken china and missing shards as he took in the purple bruises littering the expanse of flesh. The deep purple contrasted sharply with the red, reminding him of a patch of flowers he had seen in a garden once. Maybe it had been the garden at Clow or perhaps one of the gardens of his own home in Hong Kong after he had been reincarnated. He knew then that there was yet another thing he would associate with death from then on. Those flowers he couldn't recall the name of.
The princess's cries echoed all around him, mingling with the blind man's quiet mutterings and the sound of the ninja's mechanical arm slowly give under the stress it was being put through. But all these sounds were like white noise to him. The sound of his own ragged breathing, shuddering gasps spilling from his lips as he inattentively started taking note of the cuts interspersed with all the rusty rivulets and blossoming violets was too loud for him to be bothered by the background noise being made by the other three. He swallowed thickly, absently noting that not even a couple of minutes had passed since the ninja had told him there was nothing they could do. That should have been the princess's call but… the Oracle had confirmed it. There was nothing there to save. The thief had stolen the final piece that was needed to rebuild the shattered plate.
Failure.
That was all there was to it. Angry claws stabbed through his gut at the thought. The mocking crimson seemed to remind him about that by being present everywhere he looked. His own eyes continuously dragged his gaze back to the sight of the man he had failed, torturing him with the sight of that pale, broken china-like skin marred with bruises, cuts and burns, literally painted crimson in the amount of blood that seemed to have spilled from the deathly still body. All that blood should have been inside the unmoving man. His partially parted, blue-tinged lips and vacant, glazed over blue-eyed stare only seemed to cause the furious claws to tug and twist his insides as painfully as humanly possible. It was true he would never be able to look at the color red and think of anything but this particular death for as long as he lived, that wasn't what unnerved him the most the longer he stared at the corpse. It wasn't even the cuts or the burns or the bruises or the flaps of torn chest that had merely been slapped together to save them all the horror of seeing the blonde's torn insides. The slightly caved in right side of his lung wasn't any encouraging either. But the only thing that horrified him enough to make him visibly flinch was the vacant, glassy-eyed stare. His association for the color of the sky might have changed forever as well. Fai's eyes were not supposed to be so devoid of life. They were supposed to have that mischievous twinkle that belied the sharp mind the mage had possessed. Instead of that horrible, horrible emptiness in that mockery of blue, there was supposed to be life and laughter that would have put the sky to shame.
Knowing full well that there was no way his sight would stray from the broken, mangled corpse before him- his mind wanted him to remember this failure for the rest of his life- but unable to look at the horrible emptiness in the magician's dead gaze, Syaoran took a step towards the man. Those eyes staring blankly into nothingness bitterly reminded him that the missing piece of china would forever remain missing and no matter what, they would never ever be able to put the place back together again. He did not want that reminder, not now, not ever. Reaching out with a trembling hand, he made to close Fai's eyes- that way he wouldn't be reminded of their failure- and froze. The air seemed to shift a little as the background noise changed. He stared at the blank eyes, wondering if the flash of gold had just been a trick of his mind. Fai's eyes were the same vacant, unseeing blue. Just as he forced his body to move and close them, he froze once again, his own eyes widening in disbelief as he stared at the blonde's face.
He… He's alive… he breathed shakily, the words never truly making it past his lips. He's alive. He repeated, wondering if he had truly started going mad. There was no way. No way at all. Fai couldn't be alive when he himself had felt the frozen muscle inside his hands, when the Oracle had confirmed that the broken shard that was Fai's soul was no longer in his body. But despite all his disbelief, he could see it. The tiny almost imperceptible flicker of a pulse in his bloodied neck, the weakest flutter of his chest that one would fail to notice unless they were specifically looking for it and finally, the slow healing of that shallow cut on his cheek which would no doubt leave behind a scar. Sakura-hime, help him! he yelled with all his might. He didn't know how it was possible or even why it had happened when Fai had been dead for almost five minutes but it was. The magician had somehow survived. He had a pulse, he was breathing and most importantly, He's alive!
"Sy-aoran-san…" the princess said weakly through her sobs, "he's…"
"He's alive." Syaoran was too anxious to get the princess to move and help Fai to even notice that the Oracle had been the one to agree with him. "Princess, get a grip and help."
The brunette felt a little sorry for her, the way she looked at him and the Oracle with such confusion and helplessness. She did not believe them and he could see that in her lost gaze.
He'll die! Sakura-hime, help him! She had to move. She had to help him.
"Stop spouting bullshit!" Kurogane roared, whirling around to face them with nothing but anger written across his features. "One second you're all saying he's dead and five minutes later you're screaming his alive? You two get a grip. The mage is-"
"Sakura, move it!" the Oracle interrupted Kurogane's tirade.
His heart is beating again. He begged, hoping the girl would believe his words, hoping they both would believe his words. After all, he wasn't imagining it. Nixon agreed with him even without having to see. The blind man must have sensed something return to Fai's body if he agreed with Syaoran. But… Sakura-hime, he will truly die. Why wasn't she moving? Every second they wasted was a second that could end up with Fai being really dead. He had somehow come back but he needed help. She had to heal him. Help him, please!
He almost sank to the floor in relief when the girl was on her feet in a flash, and by the magician's side the next second.
"What the fuck are you going on about?" the ninja snarled, taking a menacing step towards Syaoran at the same time but his path was blocked by the Oracle.
"Fai has somehow come back to life," Syaoran heard the man say as he turned his attention back to the princess casting a hurried spell over the magician. By now he could almost hear the rattle of Fai's breath, despite the shouting match going on mere feet behind him.
"He can't breathe," Sakura said to no one, "the blood in his right lung is drowning him."
Is there any way to get it out?
The princess did not answer however, her eyes closed and her hands placed over Fai's mangled chest, glowing a soft gold as she murmured under her breath. An invisible wind kicked up, spinning around her and Fai, causing her hair to flutter about her face as a magic circle appeared beneath her feet. Fai's body spasmed under her hands, shuddering and twitching violently for a little while before the blond started coughing, the sound wet and painful. It was almost like he was coughing up a lung or two but in the end all that spilled from his lips were mouthfuls of brilliant crimson.
"He needs more blood." She announced to no one in particular. Syaoran had been too busy watching Fai struggle for his life to realize that Kurogane and Nixon had stopped shouting with the former staring at the scene with equally wide eyes as himself. "Kurogane-san, he needs your blood." She repeated, not opening her eyes as she kept up the spell. "When I tell you, you have to give him some more."
Syaoran wasn't sure how the girl had managed to shut off all her emotions as she worked on the mage, what with her spirit being so sensitive to everything around it and all, but he certainly admired her control as she went about the task. He wasn't sure he'd have been able to control his emotions enough for him to be able to use magic without it going haywire. Especially considering the fact that the man she was working on was something as close to her as her real family. And said man was coughing up blood by mouthfuls for almost a minute now.
"Now Kurogane-san," she said as her magic began to dissipate into the air, the magic circle slowly dying beneath her feet. From what he had been taught about his own magic during his time as the heir of the Li clan, magic circles demanded a lot more magic to sustain their spells than the ordinary non-circle spells. As a result, the spells that needed the circles were generally a lot more powerful, if draining, than ordinary spells. Although this was not true for all types of magicians as there were many that never had to rely on the circles to cast magic in the first place, Fai being a prime example of that. He watched as Kurogane hurriedly ripped off the piece of cloth from his wrist before holding the cut to the magician's lips.
Syaoran watched with bated breath as the ninja fed Fai his blood, Sakura's hands steadily glowing above the latter's chest, her eyes closed in concentration. He watched and watched as centuries seemed to pass by with Kurogane slowly massaging Fai's throat to make him swallow, a frown settles across his face, his narrowed eyes slowly taking in all the different types of bruises, cuts and other wounds littering his pale flesh wherever it was not covered in blood. His jaw seemed to tighten in barely contained fury as his hand freezing in its motion for a fraction of a second, his fingers gently brushing a vicious looking bite-mark in the junction of Fai's throat and shoulder. His red-eyed gaze snapped towards Syaoran, seeking confirmation and Syaoran could only nod shamefully. The story behind it all was Fai's to tell but Syaoran knew he could never insult his teacher's intelligence by outright denying what had happened. The ninja's eyes flittered towards the princess for a moment, worry flashing in his eyes as it did so but the princess remained oblivious of his little discovery.
"That's enough for now, Kurogane-san." Sakura said softly, without opening her eyes as she kept her hands glowing above Fai's chest steadily for a little while more. Syaoran traced the garish cuts in the magician's chest, taking note that none of them had closed up even a little. But a relieved and watery smile made its way to the princess's lips as she finally opened her eyes to look at them. "He'll live." She informed them before staggering back a couple of steps and leaning heavily against the wall there, "I just need to clean up and bandage his injuries and we can move him to the infirmary."
"Or we can have him moved up to the room attached to Masooma's," the Oracle suggested as he walked up to the princess and supported the girl as she almost slid to the floor. "You can move your belongings there as well. That way Fai will have two medics close at hand if something were to happen. Although seeing as Masooma's main priority still remains Syaoran, Fai will be your patient. That is of course if you still wish to heal him."
"I do." She replied with unwavering resolve.
"You do realize that it won't be easy." The man told her gently.
"I know what I'm getting into Nixon-san."
"Seeing as the wounds haven't healed completely," Kurogane spoke up, "I'm going to have to give him more blood sometime, aren't I?"
"Fai-san's vampire side is trying to fix the internal damage right now," the princess answered, pushing away from the wall and approaching the bed once more, "but it's too weakened to do everything on its own. I will let you know when you have to give him some more."
"The bastard just had to go and make everything hard for us didn't he." The ninja sighed, picking up the discarded piece of cloth from his feet before wrapping it around his wrist again. Seeing the princess's disapproving frown, he looked away, "I'll clean it up later." he said, referring to the wound before turning his attention back on the blond. "What I want to know is how he came back to life. The witch said the dead cannot be brought back no matter the price offered. None of us made a wish, so then how…" he trailed off, casting a confused glance at the princess. Syaoran wanted to know the answer to that as well but the jade-eyed girl seemed rather unsure.
"The human mind is a very strange thing," Sakura replied slowly, as though choosing her words with great care, "According to what Yukito-san taught me, a person does not truly die when their heart stops beating. That is why we were able to bring Tsubasa back when Syaoran-san's spirit was separated from his body. The human body shuts down slowly even though the heart is the first organ to fail at the time of death in most cases. Sometimes the damage done to the body is too great or the heart too weak to be restarted if help gets to the patient on time. There are cases when… if…" the girl shook her head for a little while, clearly trying to get her bearings straight. Syaoran was no healer but even he could tell she had expended a lot of her magic in saving Fai's life. She was no doubt feeling the strain now, "what I mean to say is… even though Fai-san's heart stopped beating, he did not truly die because his mind was still alive. It was starving from the lack of oxygen and dying slowly but… I think the vampire blood inside his body saved him."
"I gave my blood to the mage before his heart stopped," Kurogane frowned, "why didn't it heal him right away?"
"I am no expert in this matter but from what little we have on vampires in Clow," Sakura answered, "the blood needs to circulate inside their body to heal them. Fai-san's heart stopped before the blood could get into his veins."
Then how… Syaoran decided to voice his thoughts as well.
"I think it's because of what you did, Syaoran-san" the girl said slowly, "You pumped his heart which caused the blood to flow through his body. Since Fai-san was… so weak," she seemed to be struggling with describing the magician's condition, weak was putting it lightly. Fai looked nothing less than death warmed over, what with all the burns and bruises and cuts and blood, the nearly translucent skin clinging to his bones, eyes sunken deep into their sockets… It was a heart-wrenching sight. "The effects of the blood working on healing him were not immediate and I'm sure after you stopped, his heart must have struggled to start working again for a while. It's only because he's part-vampire that he managed to survive."
You mean he still could have died? The prospect of having truly lost the man was frightening to say the least.
"Yes." Was all that the princess was willing to say on the matter as she turned her attention to the Oracle, "Nixon-san, I'm going to need some washcloths and clean water as well rolls of bandages and healing salves." She informed the man.
"I'll see to it that you have those, Sakura." The man said, taking his leave, once again presenting the picture of a strong leader that was in control. There were no signs of the grieving man that had had his world torn apart at the death of someone he cared about. Syaoran watched his receding back until the man disappeared from sight completely.
"I'll go help." Kurogane said only a couple of seconds later as he too turned and left, leaving the brunette alone with the princess and the magician.
-0-
"You don't seem happy to see he's alive," Kurogane said as he came up behind the blind man who had just finished talking to that strange purple haired girl outside the infirmary. He could still recall the time they had run into her for the first time, her clothes torn and bloody, eyes wide and haunted, fear palpable in every part of being. In a way, this girl was the reason everything was the way it was. If they hadn't come across her upon their arrival in that city, they might not have found their way to this underground city and they might not have… It was all just one big 'what if' now, seeing as the bloody Hitsuzen had made everything turn so screwed up but… he couldn't help but wonder. What if they had not found this girl… what if they had not helped her… what if… what bloody if!
"You know what that woman did to him," The Oracle said softly just as the girl appeared from inside the infirmary with her arms laden with rolls of white gauze and washcloths and jars of salves. A small metal tub filled to the brim with a strange colored liquid floated in the air behind her on tendrils of purple magic as she did bow her head towards him in a respectful form of greeting before scurrying away.
"So what if I do?" he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against a pillar and observed the man closely. A ghost of a smile flittered across the other's lips before vanishing completely.
"He's lucky to have a friend like you."
"Don't change the subject." He growled.
"I'm not," the man replied with a tiny shake of his head. "Sakura mentioned how his mind was alive even after his heart stopped beating, right?"
"What about it?"
"What she failed to tell you, although I'm sure it wasn't her intention, was the extent of damage his body sustained."
"We're not blind," the ninja rumbled as he slammed the man into the wall of the infirmary, pulling him off the ground by taking hold of his collar. He took note of the way the man flinched at the word 'blind'. It might have been a little cruel to rub it in his face like that, after all that he had done to help them, but the fact that a part of him wanted the idiot to stay dead was something that irritated Kurogane to no end. The kids had not been able to pick up on it, but Kurogane had noticed the tiny hints even in his panic. It was probably all because of the way he had been trained, but even so. The bastard had no right to think that the mage should have died. "We could see the damage he had sustained as you've put it."
"I'm not doubting your ability to observe things, Kurogane-san," the man replied a little coolly, surprising the ninja with the use of the honorific. From what he had understood of the man during what time he had spent in the Oracle's presence, the man had no patience for such customs. A spark of magic emanated from the blind man's skin, shocking Kurogane into letting go of him. Dusting off imaginary dirt from his shirt in a regal manner the man continued, "I'm pretty sure your sharp eyes would not have missed out any of those injuries even if the princess is a little too innocent to actually decipher the meaning behind those bite-marks."
"Get to the point." He snapped, slightly unnerved by the subtle hints the man had dropped in both his actions and his words. Though Kurogane had pushed the Oracle into a wall once before just the way he had done right then, the blind man had not retaliated in any form or way that time. This time however, with magic crackling in the air surrounding the magician, he could tell the act for what it was. The Oracle was subtly hinting that he would have no inhibitions about using his magic if Kurogane were to try and go for another physical assault. And the use of the honorific was no doubt another message, 'I am no Fai.' He seemed to be saying with those words. 'Don't expect me to behave the way he would.'
Kurogane had no doubt he would have been able to take on the man if things eventually got down to it, even if the idiot had told him how the Oracle's power rivaled that thrice damned Time-Space Witch's, he had enough faith in his own abilities as a warrior to know he would not die in a confrontation. Maybe he was being a little unrealistic but the odds had never stopped him before. Heck he had taken down an entire hoard of demons right after his village had been destroyed and he had been a mere child back then. He was sure he'd manage just fine this time around as well. But, a confrontation- even if it was a pretty good way to blow off all his pent up rage and frustration- was not what was needed at a time like this. There would be time for fighting later on. Besides it might be a good idea to hold on to his anger for a little longer, let it fester until he came face to face with that silver-haired bitch. He'd take great pleasure in dismembering her one tiny finger at a time. How dare she do all that to the kid and the mage? Although he did not care for her other victims but he was sure their situation would not have been much different from those two. Even as a ruthless killer before he'd been banished from his home to go on that journey by his master, Kurogane had been more humane with his enemies. At least their deaths had been swift but what she had done to the mage… Oh he'd enjoy making her beg for mercy indeed.
"The point Kurogane-san, is that Fai was dead for over five minutes." The Oracle said, breaking Kurogane out of his internal monologue while letting a little bit of impatience color his tone, "His mind was alive, true, just as the princess pointed out, but his heart was not beating. For those five minutes, almost no oxygen reached his brain. I don't mean to slight the extent of your knowledge for I am sure there are many learned healers from where you hail. But every world has a limit as to the amount of knowledge their people have gained about the human body. For those five minutes when his heart was not beating, his brain was shutting down… Surely you can understand what I'm trying to get at over here." He gave the man a frosty smile before continuing, "The extent of damage I was referring to earlier was this shutting down of his brain. His vampire half will no doubt heal him eventually but can you imagine what he will be going through until that happens? He could very well end up blind or comatose or locked inside his own body or lose the use of some other important part of his body until he is fully healed. Given the state we found him in, I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up suffering from amnesia too. And when he regains the memories that would be locked away, his vampire half will see to it that he does eventually… I'm sure you're smart enough to understand the implications."
Kurogane grit his teeth, glaring hard at the man rattling of the list of things that might end up being wrong with the idiot. What was his deal? Just because he had said something about the stupid man being blind, he had to go and slight his intelligence level. It was almost like he was implying Kurogane to be an embodiment of the saying that about 'brains vs brawn' or something.
The Oracle only sighed tiredly as he pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke again, "He was still lucid when that woman carved him open," Kurogane's heart skipped a beat at those words, making him forget all about the Oracle's implied insults as the truth sunk in. He had noticed that Fai's eyes had been open when they had gotten to that chamber but… oh Kami… he had been awake for that! "Add to that the fact that she raped him not long before that… do you have any idea what Fai is in for once he wakes up even if he doesn't remember everything at first? Forgive me for thinking it might have been a bit more humane to have let him die if only to spare him the pain of having to deal with these things."
"I want him to live just as much as you and the others," the Oracle admitted softly, "I love him like a brother and… I don't want him to suffer any more than he already has but I am the only one that can see what the future holds for him. Things are not about to get any easier just because he's out of the Complex."
Letting his words hang in the air, the man stepped around Kurogane and started down towards the tunnels that led to the other caves connected to Magihidusi. "I'll go and let Masooma know that Fai is back. I'm sure she'll appreciate knowing that."
"Wait a minute." He called out after the departing man.
"Yes, Kurogane-san?" he called out politely.
"I get your point, call me Kurogane," he grumbled irritably, "you're just like that damned idiot, you know that."
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"Don't tell them about it." He said in a soft voice, "the princess or the witch. I don't think he would appreciate them knowing about what that bitch did to him. If they figure it out on their own…"
"The princess is too innocent to come draw a conclusion like that on her own," the Oracle replied in an equally soft tone, "and the marks of that ordeal will have faded away by the time Masooma comes to see him." The Oracle must have sensed his confusion for he elaborated, "I know the vampire blood is acting slower than normal so you're wondering how they would have faded away by the time she sees him, am I right? As much as she loves him, Syaoran is her main priority at present. Until she is sure she can leave the boy on his own she won't come to see Fai. After all, that is her price."
"You won't tell them, then?" Kurogane needed to hear a verbal confirmation of the fact. From the way the blond had reacted to whatever secrets the witch had confided in him about her own time in captivity, Kurogane could guess she had undergone a similar ordeal. There were some things that a seasoned warrior like himself could tell apart upon sight. While victims of physical torture and abuse might react in almost the same way, there were tiny hints in their reactions to the things that caused them to relapse and the witch's behavior when the first time she had seen him, had let him know which category she fell under. He did not care for her as he did for Tomoyo or the princess or either of the brats, but he knew the idiot did.
"It is not my secret to tell." Was all the blind man said as he walked away.
A/N: And there you have it. You guys really didn't think I would kill him, did you? What do you think? The explanation Sakura gave is actually more or less accurate. I used the fact that people still haven't actually reached a proper agreement as to what is the exact moment when a person truly dies though from what I've looked up, it can either be when the heart stops beating which is what I had been using so far. Or when the brain truly dies. I decided to use the latter for Fai since I stick with the laws that CLAMP laid down which is that the dead cannot be brought back. But they didn't really specify when a person is dead so yeah… did you know that the human brain dies about 10 to 12 minutes after the heart stops beating.
Hope you guys liked the update. Lemme know what you guys think of the explanations. I hope I cleared it up but if you have any questions, feel free to ask away.
~Obsidian